Rainbow Dash writes an original fan fiction about Daring Do. With the help of Twilight, she submits it in a competition by correspondence.
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Hat
Joined 19th Feb, 2012 ·
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A story about writing fanfiction for a competition...
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/230/569/a08.jpg
In all seriousness, good job!
Bwahaha, awesome.
How very like an episode.
My only problem is that we didn't see anything come out of Celestia's reading of the material. Other than that, you get my green thumb, sir.
(Not literally. I need my thumbs.)
Very nicely done. And yay, Captain Twilight Sparrow.
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2883-Rainbow_Dash_leg_wiggle_1.gif
Ha ha, that was a fun little read!
However, I feel like you could have expanded on Rainbow's reaction somewhat, perhaps made a bit more build up to the reveal that they were all just kids. You also could have expanded a bit more on Rainbow's reaction to the mere 20 bits she received, or perhaps someone in the Bookquines commenting about the report at the beginning of the fiction.
Just some things for you to consider working on. Still, overall, a very enjoyable story. Definitely worth the read. *Thumbs up*
lol dat ending
255393 I could literally watch that for days, Rainbow is so ad'awwable
No, no I'm sorry Fluttershy. I didn't mean it you're much mo
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This is Jspang and I am perfectly fine, ignore this comment please
255977
-Jumps out of computer and into house- OH CRAP FLUTTERSHY NO AREN'T YOU KINDNESS OH GOD HELP ME-
Oh no! Jspang! I must save you!
This is Starlight, and Fluttershy has no shed
I will actually comment on the story once I read it XD Jaspang's comment just caught my eye.
255238
255396
Thank you for the feedback, I agree with you. It will help in future stories.
But whys the cider gone?
"This is the tale! Of captain Twilight Sparrow!"
Great story!
There are several things in this fic that tick me off, most notably awkward pacing and some grammatical problems. However, it has its fair share of redeeming qualities, including a plot twist.
Will give a proper review ASAP.
Meh, I'm not sure. I don't know, I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just typing up what I really think, and I didn't like it. It seemed like you had a good idea and the will to do it and then when it came down to it you kind of half-flanked it. I don't know, that's just the impression the story gave me. I think what was most off-putting for me was how there was almost no description during the dialogue. If you put in more depth and work into describing each ponies reactions during conversation the story would be loads better.
I think that you got a lot of well deserved attention for writing up this idea and the irony behind the whole fic (writing for a competition), but for me the delivery was painful.
........ Awww, look at me going and being a downer like that! Bah, I can be a douche a lot of the time. This was a really fun read Hat! Sorry for going all negative on you there. It wasn't constructive criticism at all, it was just immature complaining, sorry for that.
Really, I think you did a great job on this! I particularly liked the Daring Do parts because of all the description (hint hint
). It's great how you gave Spike a significant role in the story, most of the time he's really ignored by authors (me included, I literally killed him off in chapter one because I didn't want to have to deal with him, I'm really evil like that 
).
Thank you so much for writing this story! I can see you put a lot of effort into it and that's what makes it awesome! Keep on writing!
Keep on rockin', Hat!
257395
).
Thank you for your comment, I don't get troubled by criticism especially if it's constructive like yours. I'll be sure to work on the descriptions and I'm glad you still found some enjoyment out of it. Although, Spike did have to jump into a fireplace here (it wasn't specified whether it was lit or not
257403 I'm glad you weren't offended. About 3 sentences into that comment I started realizing I wasn't being very nice and was like "Oops
.". 
255977 She is saying "Machop!". You cannot unhear this now.
A nice story. I'd like a little expansion on what happens after like with the princesses in particular.
Behind her, she could hear the faint sound of clopping. That must be Twilight approaching.
(I'm a horrible person...)
Good. Not great but good.
Good story... its 'hors d'oeuvres' instead of ore durves btw
.
I thought it was good, hahah.. I liked the charity Rainbow showed when she dropped the 20 bits to Scootaloo
Very entertaining concept and well written, but I would nevertheless propose a few improvements:
1) Take your time describing the action scenes a bit more. It will actually make the pace of action feel faster if readers don't have to spend so much time constructing missing elements they need in order to fully visualize the scene.
2) the participation of Celestia and Luna was somewhat muddled, and could have provided more scope for comedic conflic (BIAS: I like comedic content!)
3) the action of the ending iin Canterlot was also rushed a bit. I suggest you take more time with and be more descriptive of the situation and the impacts on RB and the other characters present. Sometimes the icing makes the cake!
Nice work!
Dafaddah
"But why is the Cider gone?"
Is that a Pirates of the Caribbean reference?
257547 Yes, yes you are.
On an unrelated note, I really enjoyed this. It was a nice idea filled with irony and a
or two. Sometimes you just need that kind of thing.
that's awesome!
well done!
like a sir.
watching!
258009
Thanks for the feedback. Your first point is especially interesting since I actually cut out a lot of the action so the story wouldn't move too slowly. To hear that cutting out that much actually slows it more because you have to fill in the gaps is very helpful and is something I'll keep in mind.
“But why is the cider gone?”
THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!
A fanfic in a fanfic, what an interesting premise! But I was a bit disappointed at the shallow interactions between Twilight and RainbowDash. I was also hoping to read about Twilight pointing out the plot holes and purple prose in Rainbow's fanfic. It would've been hilarious to have Twilight use the same terminology among fanfic writers: Imagine her talking about Lavender Unicorn Syndrome! Or that the main character is a Mary Sue. Oohh the possibilities! Also, this premise holds a lot of room for comedy, but I don't think that was brought out at all. Nonetheless, it's still an enjoyable read, but can be improved.
By the way,
>> "Behind her, she could hear the faint sound of clopping."
I'm surprised that no one commented on this line.
You did very well on the Daring Do parts, but some of the rest could have done with a dash of embellishment, but this was quite a bit of fun! A lovely, silly, slice of life - we could do with a bigger look at exactly what got mixed up between the princess and Dash, and I don't know what Luna said to get Celestia to tell her to mind her manners, but I laughed and smiled.
Heh, it felt so much like the episode from the show.
Not the best piece of fiction I've read here, but still definitely a decent amount of good work. Have a thumb. 
257752
Well, seeing as how Rainbow is saying it, and it's not surprising she doesn't know about classy things, I think that was intentional
Well done, Mr. Hat! I think this sets a new record for how many things can go wrong in just 4000 words XD
For a perfect reaction, see here. 255393
That was really good. I agree we could've got more out of the scenes with Celly and Luna but I'm satisfied with this
7/10. This was a good read, and the parts with Daring were well detailed without going into too much detail. As some other users have said, there could have been more description at parts. For example, when Rainbow went to Canterlot to collect it felt a bit rushed.
Nicely done, it was very entertaining to read