Boredom is Chaotic

by Rain Firis

Chaos hath been Doubled (revised)

Discord had just finished helping Fluttershy feed the animals along with some other boring chores when he decided to hunt down Rain, he could sense that mare had potential. Chaotic potential of course!

Discord teleported to where his tracker said Rain was at only to appear in the Everfree forest. Discord looked around and spotted his target flying just below the tree branches of the thick forest. Discord flew towards her, catching up in ten seconds flat.
"Funny running into you here. What are you doing in a boring forest anyway, hmm?" Discord asked. Rain changed her flight path to land on his back as discord kept flying effortlessly.
"I'm looking for some poison joke of course! Now onward my draconequus friend!" Rain pointed a hoof forwards while sitting on Discord's back. "How do you keep finding me anyways? I didn't even expect it to work when I called out your name last time." Rain said, shooting Discord a curious look.
"Welll... I just happen to have a hunch. A very chaotichunch. Now why are you getting poison joke, might I ask?" Discord turned his head all the way around looking at Rain to watch her reaction as she noticed they were flying upside down.

"Huh that's interesting, it seems you messed with gravity. If I jump off of you will I fall towards the sky or twist and fall back towards the ground?" Rain looked 'up' at the ground. Discord didn't expect the random question as he had hoped for some panic of some sort.
"Hmm..." Discord spotted a big area of poison joke and flew towards it. "Hey, since when do you have time to follow innocent ponies around anyways?" Rain said, giving Discord a curious look as she tried to get his attention by scooting up his back and tapping on his deer antler.

Discord ignored the question as he landed next to a patch of poison joke, 'accidentally' pushing Rain off his back and into a patch of poison joke flowers.
"Hey! You did that on purpose didn't you?" Rain threw a poison joke flower at Discord who was currently putting on his best 'innocent' face. It landed on discord's nose as he fell over dramatically.
"OWW! I'M HIT! CRAZY MARE ON THE LOOSE, HELP!" Holding his chest with his lion paw he snapped and a purple mare with a white and purple mane, a propeller hat and purple eyes with swirls instead of pupils appeared next to him. The mare had a cutie mark of a screw and a baseball.

"I'm down, run while you still can, Screwball! Save yourself!" Screwball leaned towards him with tears in the corners of her eyes. "No! Daddy! I'll get revenge or die trying!"

Screwball picked up a poison joke flower and threw it at Rain, who was watching the whole act with an amused look. It narrowly missed its target as Rain moved to the side and tossed a poison joke flower back. Screwball and Rain started randomly tossing poison joke flowers at each other as they tried to dodge each others throws at the same time. Discord was pretending to be dead with his tongue hanging out of his mouth with one mismatched eye slightly open to watch the battle.

As Rain dodged a poison joke flower and began to throw one back she realized Screwball vanished and was nowhere in sight.
She looked up to find Screwball was flying, her propeller hat spinning rapidly as she threw a poison joke flower, hitting Rain in the middle of her face. She dramatically fell over with a hoof across her forehead "...If I don't make it... Tell my sister she still sucks at poker..." Rain then played dead with her legs splayed in different directions with a forehoof still over her forehead.
Screwball stood over Rain in a proud pose in a way which only a mare experienced in battle could. Rain cracked an eye open and noticed Discord was gone. "Hey... Where did Discord go?" Rain got up and before they knew what hit them both Rain and Screwball were hit by clumps of poison joke flowers sailing through the air.
"Ah, there you are Discord. There's no honor in a sneak attack you know!" Rain exclaimed loudly. She got up and noticed Screwball was missing. "Somepony's flankhurt!~" Discord hovered above Rain with a grin on his face.
"Am not!"
"Are too~"

Rain sighed and started picking up some of the undamaged poison joke out of the mess of destroyed poison joke flowers and placed them in her saddlebags. "Fine, I'm gonna laugh when the poison joke plays a joke on you tomorrow and you won't have any of Zecora's bubble bath remedy..."
Rain looked at the draconequus who was currently nibbling on a poison joke flower. "Where did Screwball go off to?" Discord ate the poison joke flower he had been nibbling on. "Oh you know, she's around. Here, there, and yet nowhere. She is my daughter you know." Rain picked up a poison joke flower and nibbled on it like discord had been doing.
"Eww! These are sour, how are you eating these?" Discord shrugged and threw another flower into his mouth, swallowing it whole. "I was curious and wanted to see if they taste the same, I was the creator of these flowers before I was turned to stone the first time. If you keep chewing the flavor changes!"

"YOU made these? Awesome!" Rain nibbled on another flower and sure enough, it changed from sour lemons to a sweet apple flavor in less than a second. "So AWESOME!" Rains smile vanished as the flavor turned to a sweet pear.
"Yes I know, my creation is awesome, I made it after all!" Discord bragged, putting his lion paw to his chest and lifting his head up, not seeing Rain spit her flower out and glare at it.
"These flowers are hellspawn!" She growled, surprising Discord as she took to the air like a bullet. She started heading straight for Ponyville. "WAIT! You didn't answer my question!" Discord teleported next to her in the air. "Whatever are you using the poison joke for?" Rain snorted and looked discord in his mismatched eyes with a frown, her day ruined from having her enemy's taste in her mouth. "Experiments..." Rain muttered. She decided to jump on Discords back and use his ears to steer him to the path she wanted to go. "

"Ow! Gentle on the ears! Why did you run off so hastily? My flowers certainly aren't hellspawn! Or they might be...Who knows?" Discord snapped his claw and turned Rains mane pink when he thought she wouldn't notice. "I hate pears..." She growled.
"Pears? I don't think they're that bad." Discord snapped and a chocolate flavored pear appeared in his lion paw. He quickly took a bite of the fruit before something rudely hit him on the back of the head causing him to spit it out.
"Don't eat that! It's evil!" She spat, kicking the back of his lion arm and causing the chocolaty fruit to fly out of his grasp.
"Hey! but it was chocolate flavored!" Discord whined. "You're the spirit of chaos, eat something else that's chocolate flavored!" she growled to discord. "Okay, mother." Discord muttered.
"I heard that!" Rain said, annoyed.

They were flying closer to town towards the path of Rain's house when she yelled, "DO A BARREL ROLL!" and yanked both ears to one side causing Discord to do a barrel roll. "Woop!" Rain then jumped off his back and flew towards home with Discord in pursuit.
Rain crashed into the door by mistake with Discord chuckling in the background. "Come on Discord, we're going to do a science!"
"Chaotic science? I bet I could help with that." Discord followed Rain into her house, spotting a few jars of liquid rainbow.

"Well, it could be chaotic. Science isn't always predictable after all." Rain closed the door behind Discord and walked over to the desk in her living room, the current location of the liquid rainbow she had been keeping for a while. "We’ll perform the experiment here since it's... Probably not dangerous. This experiment will involve fire, liquid rainbow from the rainbow factory in Cloudsdale, Poison joke, and some glass test tubes."
Discord noticed her cutie mark was fire with a rainbow above it and a small fire at the ends of the rainbow, he wondered how she got a cutie mark like that in the first place. Flames and rainbows? What, did she set a Rainbow on fire? From what little he knew of her, he wouldn't put it past her.

"First I put the liquid rainbow in this bigger jar with the wide opening, then we add some poison joke. Normally I light liquid rainbow on fire and it turns all different colors. Depending on the amount of liquid rainbow, the fire can stay lit for ten to twenty minutes in this container. With poison joke I'm guessing something unpredictable will happen. So I’m adding it to the rainbow liquid before lighting it on fire! Then I-" Rain looked in Discord's direction only to find him asleep on the couch, not listening or caring about Rain's experiment plans. She also noticed the couch was upside-down and was somehow slowly rotating in random directions.

"...Aaand you're asleep. DISCORD! Wake up, I'm trying to do a science!" Discord woke up with a snore, the couch still rotating. "What? You're so boring it put me to sleep, do the thing already. You ponies can be really boring." Rain tossed Discord an annoyed look and put some poison joke petals into the rainbow liquid, the liquid changed to the color of the poison joke petals before slowly reverting back into its original spectrum.
Discord watched with a bored look. He wondered why this mare hasn't even showed a trace of fear, unlike quite a few of the other townsponies. Then again, she didn't make much sense, but what fun is there in making sense? Discord was barely paying attention to Rain, who was currently holding up a few piece of flint and steel. She hit the pieces of flint and steel together making a spark and the liquid set ablaze. The flames were blue like poison joke but there was spectral spots scattered throughout the flame.

Discord turned away from the flame and started painting on Rains walls out of boredom. "Boring!" Discord then drew himself on the wall and around him made a chaotic mess of colors randomly splattered across the wall.
"It's not boring, it's interesting! But it seems to be making blue smoke instead of rainbow smoke, and it's making more smoke then a small fire like this should be normally making. I better crack open a window."
Rain trotted over to the window and opened it, oblivious to Discord's mess of colors on her wall and her now re-arranged living room.

Author's Note:

Then a meteor hit Ponyville and they all died. Twice. Except for Discord. The end.

Edit: Revised, minor changes. 11/11/16

Comments

[kingmandude]

awesomesaucenesstastical

[Chaos-Sonata]

This is just awesome!!!!! I seriously don't know what to say!