• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 29th, 2016

Final Draft


All the world is indeed a stage, and we are merely players, performers, and portrayers; each anothers audience outside the gilded cage.

T
Source

A story of love, betrayal and revenge - Light Up The Night follows Shining Light--a brilliant tinkerer whose father died in a horrific mining accident. Shining swore upon his father's grave he would make things right and began working to partially automate the mining operation. His inventions revolutionized the industry and made the city a hub of technology. Eventually he would take on an apprentice, Wiley Hooves, who was just as gifted as Shining. Together they worked to bring the city into a new age but their disagreements eventually drove them apart. With a split of their partnership imminent, Wiley Hooves frames Shining Light for murder and takes full control of both the company and the city.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 11 )

Excellent cliffhanger there i hope to see more of your story and where it will go

Excellent chapter and great cliffhanger can't wait to see what happens next

May want to add "Crossover" to this, as well.

I know what you're doing, and I don't rightly know how I feel about it...

On one hand: I love The Protomen. More than you could possibly imagine; this album in particular is my absolute favorite.

On the other hand: I'm kinda pissed off cause you beat me to the punch. Granted, I wasn't going to do exactly what you're doing, but the principle is basically the same.

So, now that my rant is over with, onto the story! Honestly? I'm torn when it come to that. Because - while it had to happen eventually - it draws heavily on the album, so much so that some parts actually make me cringe. But other then that - it's well written, and very interesting to say the least.

So... yeah. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

P.S. Also, once you've finished this - will you be transcribing Act I as well?

I'm sorry I beat you to it, and I'm sorry it's not being written as well as it deserves to be. I'm honestly surprised I was the first to actually ponify it.

As for the Protomen's other works, I may just leave be.

Good suspense and dat cliffhanger. Waiting for more, sir.

And it's based on a concept album, if that's correct? I've never heard about The Protomen, but it's now on my "want to hear"- list because of this fic.

Just leaving this neoclassical prog masterpiece here cos' the title.

3171725

Glad you enjoyed what I've written so far and yeah, I had never heard of the Protomen until I watched Freddie Wong's Video Game High School and Light Up The Night was played during a racing scene. Also, that Symphony X song....crazy...looking at the sheet music right now...gonna learn me the keyboard solo.

Ok, why is this not in any Megaman fan groups? :duck: Let me fix that. :raritywink:

Great! Finally a The Protomen adaptation, I'm going to give it a go!!

Well. I picked this up because I'm a fan of the Protomen, and all your chapter titles are tracks I have on my mp3 player.

That said, I find myself distinctly underwhelmed. :unsuresweetie:

From a technical standpoint, your writing is good, no misspellings that I noticed and almost no grammatical or punctuation errors. But from a reach-out-and-catch-the-reader standpoint, the story is extremely weak. The straight-up, unabashed quoting of the song lyrics is only the first point of this, the pacing is way too fast and allows nothing in the way of characterization. Despite being an obvious crossover, there's almost no sign of world-building ot mix both worlds.

Honestly, I'd recommend you pull the story down and rework it. There's nothing wrong with a 100k word epic if it's good, but sadly, this fic is barely holding on to mediocre at present. If that's the reason why this is marked as "On Hiatus" then I look forward to seeing the revisions.

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It's precisely why it's on hiatus. I felt I had an extremely poor start on it, and I need a complete rewrite. As you said, I should just pull this mess down.

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