“Dust’em, enforcers!”
The battlefield lit up with bright streaks of surging mana.
One by one, Xonans fell to the ambush as the rifle blasts ripped into their flesh, fetlocks, and skulls. Those lucky enough to have avoided the first barrage of Ledomaritan gunfire galloped over the bodies of their comrades and lined up beside a stone embankment along the edge of a sundered plateau. Several of them shouted in terse, monosyllabic grunts before half of them pulled loose strips of bright silver metal from their uniforms.
At the front of the Ledomaritan ambush, a grizzled soldier shouted at his fellow stallions. “Don’t let them summon! Hit ‘em dead! Hit ‘em dead now--”
It was too late. Two Xonans caught ablaze like living candles, their tattoos shimmering against the dull shadows of the overcast sky. With hideous snarls, they came out from hiding and threw their upper bodies forward. Energy ribboned out from their body markings like liquid silver, coalescing into a river of nebulous snakes. These chaotic serpents grew fangs and bristles along their bodies as they leapt on the line of manariflers.
“Stand your ground! Fight them back! Fight--”
With banshee cries, the chaos monsters ripped their way through the battalion. Two enforcers immediately imploded into fountains of bloody pulp. The serpents burst through their flesh, their jaws brimming with loose muscle and tangled flesh.
Screaming, the Ledomaritans pulled a hasty retreat, hovering the rifles besides their skulls as they fired at the otherworldly reptiles chasing after them.
“Regroup!” One of them shouted. “Regroup by the crater west of the treeline--”
A serpent darted around, dove low, and took out his left front leg with one bite.
“Aaaaugh!” He collapsed on his bloody stub, dropping his rifle with a clatter. “Sp-spark!” His face contorted in agony.
A stallion rushed over to his side and tried pulling the stallion up.
“Nnngh--Leave me!” He panted, mistily eying a throng of more beasts slithering his way. “Leave me! I’ll only slow you down!”
“That… ain’t h-happening!”
“Dammit, I gave you an order--”
“Enforcers!” The other shouted as he cradled his rifle over the wounded stallion’s shoulder and aimed at the incoming monsters. “No more running! We got ‘em in our sights!”
A collective war cry sounded over everypony’s heads. The stallions made a last stand, unleashing all of their manarifles’ energy into the attacking throng of glowing pale monstrosities.
Three of the snakes exploded into brittle dust and glowing ribbon The rest coalesced into a giant wyrm. The large thing’s scales reflected the blasts as it sped around a fallen log, plowed through a mound of dust, and sprang towards the defending stallions with a ravenous shriek.
The injured equine and his comrade winced, preparing for the worst.
Just then, a heavy body charged from the opposite hill, slid to a stop, and unleashed a shotgun blast into the snout of the summoned serpent.
The creature flew back, smashing through a hollowed out tree trunk. It twirled around, leaking ethereal silver energy for blood.
Breathless, the weary soldiers glanced aside.
Josho stood up, using the butt of his crystal shotgun for leverage. “Unnngh… Friggin’ Hell, I’m out of shape…”
“Who in the Queen’s name are you?!” the injured captain hissed.
“You’re welcome,” Josho grunted. His eyes narrowed on the writhing serpent as it coiled its whole body up and stared angrily at Josho’s meaty form. “You guys might wanna step back. What happens next could be either hilarious or super wet.”
The voices of shouting, confused Xonans could be heard in the distance. Josho looked out the corner of his eye and saw summoners concentrating with glowing horns. He looked to the left in time to spot the nebulous serpent open its gaping jaws.
“What’s the matter?” Josho spat out the side of his muzzle. “Don’t know a Spark forsaken snake charmer when you see one?”
The creature reared back, flexed its translucent muscles, and sprang forward. As soon as its body impacted Josho, the stallion fell back and wrapped a hoof around the thing’s scaly neck.
There was a flash of light.
Both Josho and the wyrm disappeared.
The enforcers blinked in confusion.
“Where in Spark’s name…?”
Thunder rippled overhead, but somehow it sounded different than normal shelling.
“Look above!”
“By the queen’s bridle!”
The injured captain glanced heavenward with weary eyes.
“Rrrrr-raaaaaaugh!” Josho was falling with the serpent, all the while he pumped his shotgun full of furious mana into the serpent’s gaping jaws. Blam! Blam! Blam! Shot by shot, the summoned chaos fiend ribboned apart, its meaty bits dissolving into thin air. At last, when it landed, it was with a wicked splash of all its fleshy entrails splashing every which way. Soon, Josho stood in a miniature crater, his body covered with dissolving effluence.
The Xonans beyond the hillside stared with gaping jaws.
The enforcers were no less stunned, which is precisely why Josho glared at them the first thing he opened his eyes. “What are you standing around for? Share the murder, kiddies.”
The captain--twitching in pain--caught the flabbergasted Xonans out the corner of his eye. “Due south! Twenty meters! Take ‘em out!”
The enforcers crouched low, squinted down the sights of their rifles, and unleashed a punishing barrage of manafire.
The Xonans were caught unaware. Their horns snatched off and their throats collapsed from direct impacts. They soon fell into meaty piles, murmuring into their blood and glowing tattoos as death and fear consumed them.
For the briefest of moments, that little patch of the battlefield fell silent.
There was no time or energy for cheering. The surviving Ledomaritans somberly stripped their dead comrades of ammo while tending to their wounded captain.
“Augh! Mmmf…” He hissed as they swiftly cauterized and bandaged his dismembered limb. “Friggin’ tattooed monsters. Leave me with only three hooves to kick your flanks? Damnation!”
“Well, if you’re not the sporty type,” Josho grumbled as he holstered his shotgun into his saddlebag before rubbing his aching horn.
“You…” The captain squinted his way. “You’re no mercenary.”
“You mean I couldn’t get paid for this crap?” Josho glanced his way while weathering a headache from his leyline entanglement. “Well, shucks. I bet your rations suck to high hell.”
“It takes a pony with experience to do what you just did,” the captain hissed. “And only Ledomare trained stallions to teleport.”
“Well, it sure wasn’t a walk in the park to master the crap, I’ll tell ya that much.”
“Thanks for coming in when you did,” the captain said, being helped into a limp hobble by his fellow soldiers. “We’ve been losing ground for months now. If we had more stallions like you, though…”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m one in a million,” Josho said, trotting forward under the echoing thunder of distant shells. “And so’s my old friend.”
“Huh? Who?”
“Oh, just a stallion with whom I’ve got a hollow bone to pick.” Josho took a deep breath and glared. “Seclorum. Prime Enforcer Seclorum. I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the guy.”
A bitter snicker ran through the ranks.
Josho glanced left and right. “I was simply being sarcastic. I wasn’t looking for actual snickers.”
“You from the Council or something?”
“Why? I’m guessing I look fat enough.”
“Well, are you or aren’t you?”
“Nope. Just an old companion of his hoping to talk some sense into him.”
“What a shame.” The captain grunted as he and his fellow enforcers began trotting north. “If you were from the Council, then that might mean you could have done something truly useful.”
“Like what?” Josho asked. “Given him more supplies?”
“No. More like put a bullet in the cowardly stallion’s dense skull.”
Josho blinked. “Hmmm… sounds like Seclorum alright. Where can I find the melon fudge?”
Interesting that josho was able to take on the abominations so easily,its not like he's had experience fighting them.
I'm digging the way seclorum is being set up, it'll be fun when we actually get to meet him.
So, Seclorum hides behind the lines instead of being out with his troops.
Shitbag.
Thirty-five four-count flutter kicks, ):(. Knock 'em out!
Ruh roh, I guess I just assumed Seclorum was some rogue, badass type. Damn you, IC, and your proclivity for subverting my expectations!
Oh well, at least Josho's a badass
sometimes.This reminds me of how much Josho has taken a level in badass. From the drunk, cowardly fat butt monkey of Shell to this fine warrior, kicking snake butt left and right.
Here comes lard-o to the rescue!
Josho, your Rainbow Dash is showing.
Josho is becoming one of the best characters
You mean those snakes Can be killed, destroyed, and otherwise unsummoned by the application of brute force and mana?
I think Basso is going to have a very intresting time.
As for me? Earth Pony?.. no magic except what I can put through my hooves to apply force?
Gravity Punch. Degeneracy. Rapid Fire.
Entrances are everything, Josho knows how to make one hell of an impression!
Yeah, and Seclorums a wuss.
3525497 Fat ponies always make the best entrances and saves.
This is a fact and has been proven many a time across various ficverses.
Doubly so if they're a fat nerd.
3525629
If that is true, I can't help but wonder...
No, bad Jorlem. Stereotypes = bad.
:P
3525497
We're just jealous of your super saiyan swagger
So, Josho's a BAMF, Chaos Wyverns can be killed, and Seclorum is secluded.
Fun.
Josho, the baddest of the bad!
That was so fucking awesome!
Josho just kicked some serious ass!
Go Josho go!
3523508I'm not fat!...just...out of shape...very...you know what I'm not making excuses and OW! Fine, push-ups! Yes drill sergeant!
Josho is the best. I know I've said that a million times, but I felt like this was an appropriate time to mention it again. Eagle Eye is also awesome, but that's unrelated at the moment.
I've always imagined Josho as being played by Joe Don Baker...
Josho, badass once again.
…he must have been at least this powerful before he retired. He hasn't exactly been practicing lately.
~Basso
At his prime this guy must have been even more terrifying than Shell. Can that guy teleport and murder things in freefall? No he can't.
Seclorum? A coward and a wanker?
Well yeah, it was obvious. He works with Nightshade.
Meanwhile, at Josho's:
And they were worried about getting him to Seclorum, hah! Why slipping past the danger when you can charge through the danger? Josho has now slain a demonic serpent and has officially ascended to the ranks of archaic Christian saints. Congratulations.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/38/122.The_Destruction_of_Leviathan.jpg/816px-122.The_Destruction_of_Leviathan.jpg
Josho = baddest of the asses
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
Wow. Josho is the baddest of all asses. What an ass of badness. This was a really cool scene, and now we get to meet Seclorum soon to boot. This is getting really good! These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
It's good to see teleportation used correctly in war. It's one of those abilities that are so overpowered yet it seems like no one ever takes advantage of it.
A direct message from me to Josho and his high-flying murderizing antics:
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/287/a/4/coo__man____by_robthedoodler-d6qjhhi.jpg
I don't know why I was worried about him. I'm sure I'll remember pretty quick if he actually ends up dying, but for now, he's pretty fricken untouchable.
Onward!
It's kinda weird, now that we've seen the Xonans, I'm actually rooting for the Ledomarians.
That imagery... Excuse me while I lose my shit.
Way to go, Josho! I can't believe I'm actually rooting for Ledo now Now, let's go find Seclorum.
-Spirit
Melon fudge is best insult.
Well, Josho's back in familiar territory... and in a place that hasn't heard of his desertion yet, to boot! Good to see he's got enough kick in him to take out one of those gross chaos wyrms, too.
Nopony expects the Josho inquisition!
Josho is a force of nature when he's sober.
Sounds like at the rate things are going there will certainly be a mutiny in the near future for Seclorum.
05/25/2017 00:17 UTC
It is decided. Melon fudge is now a word