Yes No Yes No
“Maybe if we used all of the steam reserve canisters at once!” Ebon Mane exclaimed, glancing nervously at the other ponies across the top deck. “Perhaps it could propel us towards the front faster!”
“No no no sailboat boomer,” Floydien grunted. “Nancy Jane’s organs are not built for that much cloud making. Break her into bitter bits it would, yes yes.”
“Besides, even if that somehow could work, then we’d need an entire flippin’ mountain of steam canisters!” Props leaned over and patted Ebon’s head. “No offense, Ebony, but keep your noggin’ to soup making, kay?”
“Meh.”
“But thanks for trying to come up with something!”
“Double meh.”
“I think it goes without saying that we can’t move the Noble Jury fast enough to get to Seclorum as swiftly as Roarke and Rainbow Dash need us to,” Bellesmith said. Simon perched comfortably on her shoulder as she turned to speak to everypony in attendance. “If you ask me, the key here is not to try and get ourselves to Nightshade’s ally in the field, but rather to get word out to him.”
“You mean a message?” Pilate asked.
“Yes, beloved,” Belle remarked. “Is there a way that we could somehow contact the Ledomaritans east of here through a sound stone network?”
“We’d need an incredibly large communications array,” Pilate said. “One far larger than anything the Noble Jury could house.”
“What if we found one between here and there?” Eagle Eye stated. “If Nightshade’s got communication stations lying around, then maybe--” He blinked in mid-sentence, then sighed. “No. No no no that wouldn’t work…”
“Huh?” Belle looked his way.
He brushed his mane back and said, “Nightshade had her stuff hidden because that’s the kind of mare she is. But any Ledomaritan communication stations? They’d be guarded like nopony’s business. At least no less than ten enforcers per post.”
“We’re not exactly in the position to expose ourselves to the Ledomaritans as it is,” Ebon said.
“Yeah!” Props pouted slightly. “How do Rainbow and Roarke expect us to ring doorbells when everypony wants to kill us?”
“We must not enter the houses of the stabby stabby,” Floydien grunted. “Even from a distant glare their shimmer would burn us ashways.”
“What if one of us tried slipping past enemy lines?” Belle remarked. “Somepony who could pass off as a soldier?”
“You mean somepony like me?” Eagle Eye asked, gesturing towards his intact horn “It could work, but there’s the matter of me getting from here to there.” He glanced around. “And the problem with that is that Ledomaritan security scans are strict. They’ll find out in a day’s time that I’m not Confederacy material and I wouldn’t even make it to Seclorum’s headquarters.”
“Besides, how would we even get Eagle Eye that far east? And ahead of us?” Pilate shook his head. “Face it. As battered as the Noble Jury is, it’s still the fastest thing we have.”
“It’s not like Propsy here can build us an ultra-lite skiff,” Ebon said. He then blinked and tilted his head towards her. “Could you?”
“It would take a few days.”
“Roarke and Rainbow might be dead by then!”
Props dug at the floor of the top deck. “I didn’t say they’d be happy days…”
“Well, what about another ship with skystone?” Eagle Eye asked.
“You mean…” Pilate leaned his head to the side. “A vessel like the Herald’s?”
Belle glanced up at the crystal positioned overhead, then frowned. “Absolutely out of the question!”
“Zealot boomers boom pretty quickly--”
“I don’t care, Mr Floydien! Even if we could somehow contact them, I am not about to make a deal with the likes of equines who threw Rainbow’s life for a loop and stole our Kera!”
“Belle, the fate of all our close friends--as well as our own journey--is at stake and we’re very low on options,” Pilate muttered.
“So what?!” Belle turned to snarl at him. “We simply toss away our common sense and make a pact with ponies who will only betray us in the end?! I love Rainbow Dash and Kera, Pilate, but we can’t let desperation make us stupid!”
“She’s got a point,” Josho said breathily as he trotted up to the group. “There’s no sense in relying on low-lifes such as Khao when you’ve got a solution right in front of you.”
“What kind of solution?” Pilate asked.
Josho was silent.
Pilate’s metal brow furrowed. “You?”
“Lemme guess!” Props leaned forward. “You have a magical bond with Seclorum and you can get him to come to us!”
“I wish it were that simple, blondie.” Josho trotted over and stood at Eagle Eye’s side. “You’re looking for a way to get a message to our destination faster than sound stones or steam power can work.”
“Yeah, and…?” Eagle Eye squinted at him.
Josho turned to look at him. “Well, we both know that I’m more than capable of getting to places in a blink.”
Eagle Eye leaned back, his muzzle twisting in disbelief. “But… it… How?!” He frowned. “This is no time for joking around, old stallion!”
“Does it look like I’m joking?”
“We’re not talking about the span of a ravine! Or the distance it takes to exit out of a Killas’ labor camp!” Eagle gestured with his lavender hooves. “Seclorum and his army is miles away! Maybe over two hundred miles!”
“Yeah, no crap.”
“Do you honestly expect me--” Eagle Eye bit his tongue, shook his head, and restated, “Do you expect us to think you can jump across half the continent! I’ve seen you right after doing your little interspacial belch trick! It puts you out like a spent match!”
“That’s because all I’m relying on is my own mana conduction.”
“Don’t get all scienc-y on me!” Eagle Eye frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Josho calmly turned to gaze at Pilate. “Hey, stripes. You familiar with cross-leyline-buffering?”
“Uhm…” Pilate shifted where he stood. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”
“How about the ‘Blue Streak Maneuver?’”
Pilate leaned back. “Ah, yes. When multiple unicorns work together to channel greater energy down a… lesser… conduit…” His mouth hung open for a moment. “Wait, are you meaning to suggest that Eagle Eye here somehow give a boost to your teleportation skill?”
“Something like that.”
“How do you know something like that would work?”
“Because I’ve done it before,” Josho said in a dull tone. All eyes were on him as he kicked at the top deck and further muttered, “It was a secret operation, about fifteen years ago. Me and a bunch of other meatheads had to perform this drop past a well-guarded mountain defense. It so happens I was in a division of stallions especially trained in… y’know… farting around with our leylines. We got a group of about forty well-trained mana-users together, performed a little magical pow-wow, and propelled about twelve stallions across enemy lines.”
“Did it work out well?” Belle asked.
“I’m alive, aren’t I?” Josho shrugged. “For what it’s worth.”
“Did you knock out the knock-outers?” Props asked.
“We kicked plenty of tattooed butt, for sure. They never saw us coming. We jumped about eighty miles in an instant. I think the only reason it hasn’t been done since is because we were afraid that the Xonans might catch on and learn skills of long-range fart-jumping themselves.”
“That sounds like a truly glorious moment, old stallion,” Eagle Eye said, then leaned forward. “There’s only one problem.”
“What’s that, glitterbug?”
Eagle Eye pointed at his horn. “Do I look like forty stallions to you?”
“No, but I bet you could make forty stallions look you over.”
“Unngh…” Eagle Eye tossed his forelimbs and paced off. “You’re flippin’ impossible, I swear by the Spark.”
“But wait…” Ebon leaned forward, squinting curiously. “Don’t we have something better than a bunch of unicorn soldiers?”
“Jee, now there’s a good question, boat butt,” Josho grumbled.
Belle glanced straight up again. “The skystone. Of course!” She gasped at the others. “It still has tons of untapped mana! It’s only because of the absence of the book that we’ve had to rely on the steam rig!”
Props nodded. “Very, sexily true. But even if that was the case, handsome’s ship would need something to channel the energy from up there--” She leaned in and tapped Josho’s weathered horn. “--into here!”
“Yes yes yes…” Floydien nodded. “It would have to be a mana channeling device far more glimmerific than any of Nancy’s nancyparts.”
“Like a military grade manaconduit,” Eagle Eye added.
“It would need to be something that could handle an extreme amount of energy and complex mana funneled through a teeny-tiny little slot in magicspace!” Props exclaimed. “Something reinforced by arcanium! Or maybe runes!”
Belle suddenly grimaced.
“What is it?” Eagle asked her.
“We… uh… we have something that’s better than military grade.” She gulped and fidgeted. “Uhm… beloved’s… b-beloved’s runic interface.”
Eagle’s jaw dropped. “O.A.S.I.S.?”
“Could it even take the stress of what we’re suggesting?” Ebon Mane asked.
“I’m pretty darn sure it could,” Josho said. “After all…” He paused to sigh. “It’s taken quite a beating before. I should know.”
Pilate gulped. “I happen to know too.”
“Buh?” Props exclaimed.
“I’m sure you’ve been told about it before,” Eagle Eye said, turning to look at both Props and Ebon. “In a central township within Green Slope Province, when Josho and Pilate first met, they had a coming together of heads… more or less.”
“You mean a leyline entanglement?” Props beamed. “Cool!”
“No, not cool!” Belle shook her head. “I don’t like where this is going. It already sounds dangerous for two ponies involved.”
“Belle, it at least seems feasible…”
“To do what, Pilate? Launch Josho blindly towards enemy lines?! If we could have done something like that all this time, why didn’t we throw him at Khao’s ship days ago?”
“It’s never that accurate,” Josho said. “What we can account for is distance. Wherever I’d happen to land my butt, I’d have to trot the rest of the way until I found Seclorum.”
“And what’s to stop you from materializing inside of a mountain or a flying Xonan fortress?” Eagle Eye asked.
Josho shrugged, scratching his bearded chins. “There ain’t no guarantee.”
Eagle bit his lip and pivoted towards the others. “I’m not sure I like this idea either.”
“Even if we did go with it,” Pilate said. “We need some form of counter-intuitive energy to cycle the mana from the skystone through O.A.S.I.S. and into Josho’s leyline.”
“Well, jiminy crap whiskers!” Josho smiled sardonically and sidestepped until he was nudging a certain elk. “Where do we have something like that?”
“The boomer is touching Josho.”
“Ahem. No pain, no gain, ya coat rack.”
“Handsome’s antlers… could act as a buffer to facilitate the energy transfer,” Props thought aloud.
“And what about a failsafe?” Belle blinked. “If the transfer was to backfire, we’d need a powerful force to protect both Floydien and my beloved.” Just then, a bushy tail tickled her ear.
All sets of eyes fell on the tesla coils brimming on either side of Simon’s head.
“Simon has enough glimmer to pull off almost anything,” Floydien said. “And he knows how to protect Floydien. Puny boomer is as resourceful as he is cutepheliac.”
Pilate rubbed his chin, his brow tense with thought. “By the Spark, it could work.” He turned towards Josho. “The ultimate risk is yours, though, friend. Even if everything goes correctly, you’d be thrust into nigh-unpredictable warscape. There’s no telling how perilous the rest of the trip would be, assuming you get anywhere near Seclorum.”
“Hey, you’ve all done your share of stupid things to make sure this journey goes off without a hitch,” Josho said. “I happen to have history with Seclorum, sooo…” He shrugged. “I figure now’s my turn.”
“But Josho! Think this over!” Eagle Eye stammered. “Assuming you do make it to Seclorum, and assuming you do get him to attack Lasairfion’s floating death city, then how are we going to get you back?”
Josho took a deep breath, shrugged, and said, “Three party members for the price of one?” He nodded. “I think I can live with that. And it’s been a long time since I felt like I could live with something.”
Eagle’s ears drooped defeatedly.
Props and Ebon exchanged glances.
“Whatever needs to be done, we must turn the spit into glimmer soon,” Floydien said, catching Simon out of the corner of his red eyes. “How ‘bout it then, hmm? Does paint bucket get the wind beneath her wings? Yes no yes no?”
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Heh..farting about...
Teleportation at that distance is serious business, through. But it'll really be worth it if he can pull it off.
Five bucks says he lands on his head after the warp.
Josho gets his Big Damn Hero moment to end all Big Damn Hero moments. Whether or not it'll be a heroic sacrifice remains to be seen, but something tells me his actions over the last few months will be ill-received.
I wish I could say that all is going to go well for our heroes but, ya know...
past experience and what not.
Josho, I love you, you old coot.
)
Well, here's hoping that all goes well! (Even though it won't
Josho, you JUST got us to like you. Don't you dare die now. A hero's end is still an end.
Fifty four-count side-straddle hops, ):(. Knock 'em out!
3484743
You know what would be great? Josho teleports and then we never get a point of view from him again. He would then be alive perpetually because I refuse the other possible reality and replace it with one surviving.
Now that right there is heroism. Best of luck,you old stallion.
Ok, that is a collection of crazy idea on crazy idea thats got a million to one chance of working.
Who thinks Josso will appear inside the only whiskey vat in the eastern wastes, which promptly explodes?
Also, is the Start Trek Equestria story, I seem to have taken a right turn at Alberqueque.
NOOOOOO Josho cant die
No, no, Josho! Stuff the paint bucket, she can pain bucket her way outta there. They got Roarke! Roarke!
3484942 And Roarke is scared. The situation is bad.
~Basso
No-one says Josho is going to die after this - if anything, rather like previously, the Prime Enforcer is going to want him along for the jolly to provide information.
Hey, stuff like this can work. I've jury rigged enough dodgy setups in my time to know that most of the time they don't kill you.
This is Australia...
3485275 Jury rigged… Noble Jury rigged?
And we have yet another reminder why Josho is the ultimate badass.
I hope he pulls through this stunt okay, like last time.
Go Josho go!
Hmm... I wonder if we'll have another situation like in Eljunbyro where Pilate and Josho can hear each other via the leylines? That would be good.
Either way, Josho's about to be supercharged and flung into the middle of combat to warn a military leader about three of their shipmates having been kidnapped by the enemy, who is looking to use one of them to bring about the end of war by tyranny. That about sum things up?
Go, Josho, go!
3485426 5 bucks says IC named it that just to make this one joke...
This made me laugh, because it's such a Floydien thing to say.
But then I think it's supposed to be that the boomer is touching Floydien. 
3486006 Yay, five bucks for me then
He named it in honor of us, his readers and commenters, his Noble Jury.
~Basso
3485435 as badass as josho is, RD has him beat by a couple hundred thousand.
Goddammit Josho, you better not get your ass killed after all of this.
3484683>>3484743>>3485992
Hello everybody. Glad to finally catch up. And just in time too!
I used to not like how the character named after me was characterized, but I rather like him now. I feel more detached from him now too, I suppose.
I'll also comment on these things regularly again. That little thing about not commenting lost me about half-a-year's worth of comments on here.
3486710
We haven't even hit chapter 100 yet, and things are getting messy for everyone's character
Heroic Josho is best Josho. I just hope he doesn't buy the farm, noble sacrifice or no. He's always seemed like the odd guy out on the Noble Jury (maybe even more than Roarke), but that's gradually been changing, and it'd be a bummer for him to drop out now. On the other hand, I have a feeling that the group will be whittled down gradually (hopefully with as few deaths as possible) as the characters find new lives for themselves, and part of me wonders if Josho will be the first.
I just hope Rainbow & Co. can stay safe while Josho's Martin Sheening it at the front.
Also, I like that you're reusing the leyline-entanglement stuff from Eljunbyro. Returning story elements always give me the warm fuzzies.
I lke the fact that Floydien is scared of ten enforcers. Floyien. Ten enforcers. I mean please.
I am also a bit worried by the fact that I don't expect Josho to die at all. It's been way too long since the last character massacre I say.
I think for today an unrelated picture:
fondecranhd.net/images/sunsets/bod5xvdartu.jpg
Soothes the nerves. We can all just pretend for a while that this is where Josho is going to land; he's going to be greeted by a pair of beautiful young mares who will serve him coconut milk and hang garlands of flowers around his neck, kiss him on the cheek and- or we could not.
People, people, relax.
Until head explosion becomes imminent for Josho, we all know he's not gonna die.
3484998
Aww Josho just called EE pretty, in a round-a-bout way.
3488652 Everyone is gay for EE.
~Basso
3488864 All the mares want sex changes so they can be gay for EE.
I hope Josho trots across some land like a little Austraeho.
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
I like this Josho. He may be vulgar and annoying, but when push comes to shove, he's willing to take great risks for the sake of his friends. It's sort of a testament to how much he's changed over the course of the story - he never would've done something like this way back in his drunken Enforcer days. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
Josho's not going to make it back, is he?
I suppose I won't know 'till the fat lady - er stallion - sings, but I have a bad feeling about this. Still, if it's the only option they have...ugh, I really have to stop getting ahead of myself.
Onward!
Here we go.
It's not over 'till the fat stallion sings.
-Spirit
pleasedontkillmegodspeed josho. Youve become quite a respectable stallion over the past few weeks
excepr for this:
Eagle Eye pointed at his horn. “Do I look like forty stallions to you?”
same cocky attitude
“No, but I bet you could make forty stallions look you over.”
Josho being a hero? Man, I actually hope he turns out all right after this.
Alright Josho, try not to teleport inside anyone!
Started Pablo Honey.
):( really doesn't know his distances, two thousand miles would be a more appropriate half the continent distance. That aside, go Josho, die well, but if you can, then live.
6193195 ):( isn't the one speaking. This is an example of the character using hyperbole.
All this time before the Jury came along Josho knew only what he was fighting against. Now that he has something worth fighting FOR.... He will be capable of things even he didn't know he could do.
05/24/2017 01:24 UTC
Inb4 Seclorum gets a sudden face full of Josho blubber.
Funny you would mention that