Taking Care of Business
“How did he do that?!”
“The horn cap just flew off him!”
“No unicorn is that powerful!”
“Could it have been a long range spell?”
“Not like any I’ve ever heard of!”
“Jakkarna menu seelu kensaan!”
“Check his pulse! Is he dead?”!
“I’ve checked already! He’s still with us…”
“Because if he dies, then how are we going to get out of here?”
“He was the first bit of good news to come in a while…”
“Shh! I think…”
“Did he just say something?”
“He’s breathing!”
“Quiet, everypony, he’s got something to say!”
Everyone leaned in.
A few seconds limped by.
“You are some damn nosy sonuvabitches,” Josho grumbled in the hooves of a nurse and a soldier. “Anypony ever tell you that?”
The group stopped leaning over, spreading apart as they fidgeted across the metal platform on squirming hooves.
“Rrrrgh…” Josho waddled onto his heavy hooves, shaking his skull. “Word to the wise… don’t go rubbing magical gossamer strands with cybernetic zebras. It always ends up fart-smelling.”
“We… uhm… are uncertain what just happened to you, Mr. Josho.”
“Oh will you shut up and just stand still already?” Josho spun about, his horn glowing.
A soldier blinked. “What do you mean--?” He gasped as he felt his horn slipping off with calculated telekinesis. “By Ledo’s mane!”
“Yupperooni.” Josho spun and slid the cap off a nurse, an engineer, and another soldier. “Everyone strip. The party’s starting and everyone but Seclorum is invited.” He paused, glancing over his shoulder.
The Xonans nervously stared back.
Josho sighed long and hard. His horn glowed brighter. “I’m getting too old for all this complicated gray area crap.”
The Xonans were freed from their magical shackles. Exhaling in relief, they whirled about and started stripping the caps off their companions’ skulls.
Pivoting towards the Ledomaritans, Josho spoke, “You’ll have to take care of the rest of your guys’ horns. For now, I have to jet. I’m sure with a buttload of telekinetic spells, you guys can finally get your rotting flanks out of this Spark-forsaken place.”
Many of the ponies nodded and rushed into the thick of the stranded group, freeing their leylines one at a time.
“What about you?” a warrior asked. “You’ve done so much for us. Where are you headed to now?”
“Where else?” Josho frowned, and sparks danced between his eyes. “I’ve got business kicking a certain conspiratorial punk’s skull in.”
Flash!
The ponies gasped as Josho vanished entirely.
”Hraaaaaaaauuuckt!” Nevlamas, the Dark Divine, cursed in frustration as she tore across the sky. Her shadow sliced across withered forests burning brightly with aquamarine flame. She spat her breaths left and right, adding to the blaze. At last, with widely flapping wings of frustration, she lifted high into the air, her glowing eyeslits entreating every horizon within view. ”Where are you, Austraeoh, you cowarrrrrrd?! If this is the powerrrrrr of harmony--hrckkkk--I am not impressed! I am annoyed!”
The dragon’s voice echoed in every direction, clearing the murky clouds from the starlight with each warbling decibel.
”Whether I end you swiftly… or devour you slowly, it makessss no difference!” she sneered, both sets of teeth gritting so hard they produced sparks. She orbited a steep mountain peak, her sheer wingspan causing the cliff faces to tremble and crack. ”Nothing shall stop me from imbuing this world with the desolate power of my all-cleanssssssing song! The false harmony-hrckkkk-of the modern era will end! Everrrrrrrything will be reborn!” She clasped onto the jagged mountain peak with two sets of talons and shouted into the heavens. ”So show yourself! Show yourself and perform your role as Austraeoh! Be the dying flame! For now and evermore!”
Silence reigned.
Nevlamas took a deep, deep, deep breath, then screamed flamingly into the wasteland.
”Hraaa-aaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaauckkkkkt!”
Clouds evaporated. Thunder rolled. The sky lit up like a supernova was consuming all of the nearby galaxies.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but wince. Her ruby eyes twitched as they reflected the Divine’s wrath. She took a deep breath, continuing to cling upside down to underside of the Dragon’s tale, right at the thick, scaly stem.
The limb thrashed left and right, almost flinging Rainbow Dash off with every movement.
She gripped tighter, careful not to apply too much pressure or else the Divine might feel her through those diseased scales. Biting her lip, she looked upside at her situation. It was hard to see at first through her own dangling mane, but she spotted the dragon’s massive talons gripping precariously to the jagged tip of the mountain peak.
The pegasus’ brow furrowed. She took a deep breath, meditated for a few seconds… then smirked devilishly.
Nevlamas snorted in frustration. She was angry, impatient… distracted.
Rainbow Dash had to time this perfectly. Licking her lips, she planted a hoof firmly over the ruby lightning bolt of her pendant. She began rubbing it in circles, faster and faster, building up a bright beam of scarlet energy from within.
It must have tickled Nevalamas’ lower abdomen, because her body twitched and she dipped her smoldering snout down to glance between her legs. ”Hressshhhkkt?”!
Rainbow Dash grunted, shot forward, and fired a full beam of ruby light into Nevlamas’ left leg.
”Haaaa-aaaauckt!” The Divine yelped in pain. Her talons immediately slipped, and she slumped forward, her entire body thrown off balance.
In the meantime, Rainbow Dash had darted up past the monster’s collapsing body. She spun about in the air, positioned her body like a living arrowhead, coiled her wings at her side, and came sailing down so that she slammed into the back of Nevlamas’ skull. The impact had the same effect as a giant blue gavel, and it sent Nevlamas’ sprawling.
From there, gravity took over, pulling the dragon down the mountain side.
“Have a nice trip!” Rainbow raspberried and shot her way northwest. “Send me a postcard once you arrive at--” Her irises shrank under an intense shadow.
Nevalamas’ flailing wing fell over Rainbow Dash.
The pegasus blurted: “...aw Hell.”
Wham!
Tangled in the leathery mesh of Nevlamas’ appendage, Rainbow collapsed with the Divine. Both pony and dragon fell down the mountainside, drowning in boulders and flames.
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Dammit, Dashie:
Slip Slidin' Away
Well, that's not good.
And Josho's about to be a badass.
Called the Millenium Falcon, but I think its a good thing Dash didnt wait for the trash jettison first
If Nev and Rainbow don't hurry, there won't be any punch left by the time they reach Seclorum.
... Landing on Josho.
Wouldn't that just be great? I feel like that would be great.
Josho literally uncanned a cave of whoop-ass.
I just love Josho right now!
Such a good and complex character fighting the good fight!
Positioned, as she was, near a certain intestinal orifice, I was half expecting for Rainbow to pull a Luke Skywalker. Talk about imploding colons.
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<---------
Oh Dashie. Cant catch a break.
I bet Dash tastes awful, anyway. Also this:
is one powerful supernova.
Might just be missing a word. Just sayin'.
Are Nevlamas' wings really so big that they keep hitting Dash over and over again? That's getting pretty annoying.
Tail and tale. Know the difference, it may save your life. Glad to see Rainbow still holding her own and pulling a Han Solo at the same time. Also can't wait to see Josho beat the crap out of Seclorum. At least I hope that's what will happen.
Ouch.
Anyway, Austraeoh just reached 1000 upvotes. Congratulations
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Agreed. Spontaneous horn removal sounds awful.
That's what ya get for cursing, Dashie.
Sneak attack critical on Nevlamas
Anybody ever tell you that Josho has the best lines?
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3700919 I...what?
3700990 Okay, here: (+) <---bit
Good God, you're catching up to me. I'll have to work overtime tomorrow.
3701159 Could you be a little more obscure? I understood it too well.
what did i miss? rainbow eats cardboard? ??????
3692670 wat
3701172 Reply on the same chapter, dammit!
IIIIIt's Dashie's Second Get-Backing Adventure!!
Honestly...can't even take care of one little old Divine without getting hurt. Austraeohs these days think they're all that...s'not what it was like back in MY day. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
P.S. GAAH
3711960 Jake's reference is to his own amazing story, which you should definitely read. You should also read the prequel as that's good too.
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I'm Catching up!
Uh oh.
-Spirit
Man, I have to agree with Jake, don't say any big talk before the enemy is down for the count.
Dashie, you have wings. How did you forget that the Dark Divine you're fighting also has wings?
God dammit, you stupid sexy flying prismatic beacon of harmony. God dammit.
I seriously doubt Nevlamas is out of the fight.
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Well she has always been more of a doer than a thinker. And since she was busy rubbing off her harmony pendant, and avoid the fiery parts of Nevlamas to remember that she had wings.
Rainbow Dash picked a fight with a dragon goddess.
And she's... well, not winning, but she's still alive.
XD why? Why did you have to mka ethis moment so dirty?
Not that they weren't already dirty...but you know what I meant!
Wait did rainbow really forget about the wings
You were so fucking close rainbow
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https://youtu.be/fCUKDVkNU5w