My Little Apple Pie

by Jeremy Llama

Chapter 10 Ending One

Wassup guys. I'm changing my trails. I'm going to change this one's ending to the one I'm wanting since this one is just completely rushed feeling.

~ 4 Years Later ~

Today was devastating and life changing in fact while looking back at it I feel like crying. In fact I'm still thinking about it....

After that day it felt like the years had passed quicker than usual...and to quickly.
Today we were going to go for a walk with Winfrey, but before we were able to get out of the door we heard a knock at the door. I told Apple to go upstairs. People don't usually come to our house seeing how there was no real point too. She went upstairs as told, and when I heard the door close I opened the front door. and looked down there was a purple horse and a purple green dragon. The purple horse I was able to Identify as Twilight, and the Dragon as Spike from My Little Pony. I wondered what they were doing here. Although I knew the answer I just shoved it in the basement of my mind like so many other things.

"Um, hello there?" I said Twilight began with "Hello I'm Twilight Sparkles, and me and my assistant are looking for two ponies." "Sup." Spike said. "Anyways one of them is orange and the other is blue with rainbows, have you seen one of them? Because we've been noticing a difference in atmosphere around two spots and we were sure that was them, seeing how this universe doesn't change atmosphere so fast. Also I'm fairly certain but isn't this planet Earth?" She said finally ending her long speech. "Yeah this is Earth. Why're you looking for the two ponies? "Um well, you see-" Spike interrupted. "When there are ponies from our universe they mess with the atmosphere. Such as a atmosphere with sadness and hate will slowly change into a happiness and kindness. Having two ponies in one spot how ever will change the atmosphere four times faster than having one pony, which then changes the atmosphere so much it changes that part of the universe so not just the earth the whole part of the universe. When it does so it then makes that part of the universe to be like the one from our universe. When they move together however it spreads and goes on for a while. It also goes pretty far, I'm sure that it can cover a whole town as well. Not only that but having two ponies close by is a danger to time for some odd reason." Spike at least ended with. "Wow Spike where did you learn that?" Twilight asked. "I read up on it before we left, good thing I did huh?" "Anyways we are needing to get these two ponies. Do you have one of them?"

"Well...Um." I said "Well no offence sir but there's no use lying I can tell that you have one of them and I can also tell from the huge amount of apple trees that you have the one we are searching for named Apple Jack." Spike said kinda rudely "But-" I was interrupted but Apple Jack. "Pa! Ya there?" Twilight and Spike both had a confused look on there face. "Yeah I'll be up there in a minute!" I yelled. "Um I hope you don't mind me asking but did Apple Jack just call you um, Pa?" Twilight asked "I'm going to go get her be right back." How can I respond to this without sounding rude? I went up to her room and opened the door. Apple Jack then asked "Pa they gone?" "Uhh no listen we need to talk." I explained to her about the pony and the baby dragon, and what they were doing here. "BUT PA! I don't wanna leave I like it here! I don't wanna go with them! I won't go with them." Apple Jack yelled. "Are you sure you don't want to? You'll probably be happier with them?" I said with a restrained crying kinda voice. "Pa... I love you I'm not leaving you. You're my Pa and I'm your daughter. Is this some kinda joke?" "I wish it was. But how will we get you out of here without them noticing?" I then remembered there was a back door behind a wall that would cover her from them seeing her. We explained a plan to each other fast so they wouldn't get suspicious.

While we were getting ready to leave we heard Twilight scream "Sir, are you coming down?" We both sprinted out of there and ran the rest of the way. The plan we had was we would get out of the house and go to where Apple Jack hid when she ran away. So I followed her it was a good ten minutes when we got there. But I noticed something strange about it. Apparently so did Apple Jack. "The atmosphere is less thick and has a much more brighter feelin to it." That's when I remembered what Spike explained. "When two ponies are together the atmosphere changes four times faster than one pony." So that's why it was just Twilight. Having both Apple Jack and Twilight is four times enough but having the whole group would change it greatly. Which means that having five in one spot would make it twenty times more than one. Since having one pony in one spot would change the atmosphere slowly which is probably one, which takes a few years having two would make it months, and having five would take only a few minutes!

"Apple Jack the other ponies are here including Twilight Sparkles!" I said loudly. "Indeed you are correct!" I heard a pony- no a horse say loudly. "You have risked this universe by forcing us all except for the two of us missing to move to one spot. Are you proud of yourself?" I know who that pony is it's Celestia! Except angrier sounding than from the show. I'm sure she should be more forgiving but I'm far to rushed to think of a reason. "Celestia why are you here to take my daughter?" I yelled "Your daughter? What ever do you mean." She said still hiding "I raised her She loves me I love her you won't take that away from us!" I yelled "Um, sir please can let us take Apple Jack? We need her in our universe. That is if you don't mind..." I know who that is as well it's Fluttershy. Even with her nice calm little voice I hated her and every other pony for trying to take Apple Jack away- no trying to take my daughter away.

Finally they emerged from the shadows. I knew who they all were Celestia in the middle (Cliche) Twilight next her, Rarity to the other side of Celestia, Fluttershy behind Twilight and Pinkie Pie next to Rarity. "By the Queen of Equestria command return Apple Jack at once!" Celestia commanded "By command of me Piss off!" I yelled angrily. Celestia looked angry by this comment and the rest of the ponies were astonished, even Apple Jack because of my loyalty to my daughter. Celestia then charged at me catching me off guard but before she was able to make contact with me Apple Jack tackled me out of the way. Twilight came over to calm Celestia down and then went over to us. Apple Jack then kicked her so hard she flew into something in the darkness. "RUN!" Apple Jack yelled.

We ran but behind us were the other ponies. I noticed something about them. They looked a small amount...grey. I still couldn't think of why they were acting like this. Rarity used to her magic which was weak but grabbed me and started pulling me. Apple Jack noticing this, ran fast and kicked Rarity hard and with that flew a whiles away. She helped me up and we ran again. Fluttershy above us flew in front of us. We went around her. "That was...pitiful." Apple Jack said. Pinkie Pie started to bounce towards us but tripped. We both laughed a bit and kept going. We had both ran out of strength and had to take a break. But then I heard something that made my heart beat even faster than it already was.

"RETURN APPLE JACK AT ONCE!"

We tried to run but it was obvious we both had no strength and couldn't run. I turned around and I saw a huge white horse run right into me. I flew so far away and couldn't gather the strength to stop myself. I finally stopped sliding but was too weak to get up. I heard Apple Jack yell and run towards me. I looked up and saw her running at me and saw Celestia as well running behind her. She must of noticed because she turned around and charged at her. "Apple Jack don't do it she's too strong..." I said sorta loudly but she didn't hear. I saw a little change in Celestia. Something in her eyes made her snap out of what ever was going on. I saw a tear roll down her cheek. Was she in a trance Apple Jack got ready to kick her whenever a purple glow went around her and sent her flying towards me. She fell down hard and she stopped by me.

Something inside me exploded. I got up and ran after Celestia and was as well stopped by what ever that purple glow was. I was thrown back to where I was. I got up again and charged at Celestia again. What is this inside me why can't I stop charging at her I thought to myself. The same thing happened again and again. I was getting weaker and weaker. I finally stayed down. I know what it was....Anger, Loyalty, and most of all Betrayal. Betrayal at the ponies for doing this to not only me but also to my daughter and there "friend". I was passing out but forced myself to stay awake. I could faintly hear Celestia yelling "Twi....Stop immediately! What are yo...ing." I was able to faintly hear this because I was starting to pass out. Everything dark. "I've gotta...get up....and....defend....MY DAUGHTER!" I got up but barely was able to stand. I saw Apple Jack getting up as well.

We were in no shape to run or fight back. Is this the end for me to see my daughter? Why is this happening. Why is everything going by so quickly. "Sir.. I apologize for all this....You see when there are two Ponies on this universe that changes this universe's atmosphere to be like ours. However since there are six ponies in one spot and me counting as five more since I'm fully grown and powerful have spent enough time in this spot that I was able to change back into my former self... I'm going to explain this may take a while...." She told me everything I needed to know. When ever the atmosphere changes in this universe it also changes in there universe since the hatred has to go somewhere. This affected each of the ponies. Which explains why they were acting like this and why they were gray. Apparently where we moved is also where the whole land of Equestria is in there universe. They were all in the hatred atmosphere for too long and Celestia had to do something but it wasn't out of need it was out of hate, well at that time at least. Also time was going by too fast here it was also affecting time in their universe.

"That's why we need to get both of those ponies back in our universe so that balance can be returned." Celestia said.
"But is there anyway for me to go with you?" I said
"Unfortunately since you are from here the hate will still spread in our universe if you come along." Twilight said.

I knew what was going to happen. They were going to have to take my daughter. I can't lose her..she's all that I have left. But that's selfish of me. Even though I do deserve to have her and she deserves to have me. We went back to our house.... It would soon be called... My house. The thought of that made a tear slide down my cheek. Apple Jack saw and came closer to me. I opened my door and went inside of course with the rest of the crew.

"Sir...I'm sorry about this but it's my duty as Queen of Equestria to restore balance and return Equestria to normal... Even if it means having to take Apple Jack." Celestia said.

had tears roll down my cheek but I shook head and had my long hair cover it. I didn't want to make Apple Jack cry with me although I saw a tear go down her cheek as well. She pulled her hat down to cover her face like I did with my hair. I felt such a strong amount of pain it was physically hurting.

"Celestia..." I looked down at Apple Jack. Her hat still covering her face from the tears. "I want you ponies....to take care of my daughter." I looked down at her again I saw a flinch. She is crying now. This pain she was feeling...

"But can she bring something along with her?"
"As long as it's not alive." Celestia said
"Can she take her hat with her?" I said
"I don't see why not."
Twilight came over to Apple Jack. "Apple Jack I'm going to use a spell to remove your memories so that way the depression won't stay with you."
"Wait what! I don't want to lose my memories I can't forget about my Pa!" Apple Jack said
"Apple Jack..." Twilight said
Celestia started "Apple Jack we need to remove your memories if you remember anything from here then this would all be pointless because memories will also change the atmosphere."

Her hat wasn't cover her face I saw tears roll down her cheek. I grabbed her and hugged her.
"Apple Jack...This hurts both of us but we all need to part at some point in time. We can't have both of us together because of what will happen to your universe." I said. I was crying now more than I have my whole life. I have to willingly give up something I love. Apple Jack pushed away from the hug but not enough to be let out of my grip. "No Pa...This is my universe. I was raised here, and you taught me everything I need to know and raised me as if I were your own flesh and blood." We hugged each other hard.

Twilight came closer and then the whole house started to change into a spinning, purple, glowing fog.
"Apple Jack I want you to go on and have a great life. I want you to remember your friends and that I will always love you. If you ever need someone I'm here." We hugged tightly and we both closed our eyes. Then I opened I eyes. I felt nothing in my arms and saw nobo- nopony around.

I was alone now and Apple Jack is now in PonyVille. I am without a family and I'm in this old house. But was the second pony that was blue with rainbows...Rainbow Dash? Does this mean the My Little Dashie story didn't happen yet. Does it have to do with time? All these thoughts flow through my mind. I'm crying..I can't stop...I won't stop...I want her back...but that's a selfish thought..If I did keep her here, then the world she belongs in would cease to be what it should be, and this world would cease to exist.

I stayed in that spot for several hours... I got up and headed for my room...While going up the pictures I had with Apple Jack.... were no longer there... I remember My Little Dashie and rush to Apple Jack's room. I ran down the hallway. And there wasn't even a door to enter the room. I fell down before I got to the end of the hallway because I saw no door. The sadness I had, had returned full throttle. I can't even move I just lay there and cry.

Another hour passed by and I headed downstairs. When I did I noticed a book was on the coffee table. I walked towards it and opened it. I saw few pictures but I still scanned through them. Even through the pages with no pictures on either of them. I keep going and I get to the end. I close the book and notice writing on the back of the book.

"Pa" I bursted into tears again but keep reading. "I've loved living with you and with the Princess's permission, I was able to write this. There may not be anything left for you to remember me with but I've left this and the pictures that were removed to stop any possible changes that could possibly mess with the atmosphere or something. But we were able to keep small things that wouldn't change anything. They're behind this message. I love you Pa. Never forget it."

I couldn't stop the tears that roll down my cheek and land on the book. I look for a opening to open the back of the book. I feel something not an opening to open it but a slit with pictures sticking out of them. I pull them out careful not to cause any scratches. I see the pictures of us. Still looking 2D but with that 3D aspect I still can't explain. The tears start to cease. Until the memories of us together come back. I start crying and this time harder than anytime I've ever cried before. I remember giving her, her first bath, Making apple pies, getting apples from the trees, and I remember giving her, her hat.

Two days have passed since I've lost my daughter. I've been in my room and haven't left my house for two days and have no reason to live any more. There's no one and nopony with me any more and I'll never see my family ever again. I go to my closet and grab the 9mm pistol I hid from Apple Jack since hunting is non existent in her universe, and I didn't know how she'd react to it. I check to see if there's any bullets left or even a clip. There was. I begin to hold it up to my head. I pull the trigger but It was left on safety. I stop for a moment thinking about what I'm going. I slowly pull it up to my head, after turning the safety off. I just about pulled the trigger whenever there was a knock at the door.

I freeze. I drop the gun and slowly walk down the stairs. I slowly unlock the door, and slowly open the door.

"I've lost a pony aswell."

As I stepped outside something caught my attention. The box from earlier.

Comments

[darthvader45]

Wow, that surely was gut-wrenching at the end. Just like My Little Dashie, I felt so much sadness. Let me guess, the next pony you find is Aj's little sis, Applebloom? If so, give me a brohoof. If not, tell me who it is. It could even be Big Mac.

[Jeremy Llama]

284879 Thanks. I have been thinking about doing most of the ponies but, it wouldn't be able to go along with either MLD or MLAP just a different series using the same things as both. Although I could manage both of them to tie in with each other.

[Levimos]

*reading the last part of this chapter* ... one thing just went through my mind... TIME PARADOX!!!

[Jeremy Llama]

289120 :3 Eeyup

[Jeremy Llama]

290245 Yep. :D

[Evil Paladin]

Im sorry but I didnt feel anything from this story aside from shock when the human was prepping his gun for suicide.

The numerous jarring paragraph repeats, grammer issues, and the lack of a line break to indicate a shift from flashback to present kept me from really getting drawn in and feeling for the dude and AJ.

The instructions for the music in the third to last chapter was really confusing, it would be better if you put the link to the second song where in the text you want us to start it so its easier to feel it rather then trying to figure out where you want it. In addition, I think the music and the instructions actually removed what little immersion I was able to get.

The universe bending properties of ponies...*sigh*.... Im sorry but I couldn't buy it and the repeat explanations didnt do it any favors. Im usually ok with some OOC behavior so that the ponies are acting appropriately to the situations that fic writers drop them in, but the OOC here with the rest of the cast just didn't jibe here.

You should have explained where his first house was and its layout abit more because I was confused as to how he shoved together enough apple trees in his suburban back yard (with room for AJ to move around) to have enough to stock an apple store. Which leads me to another thing: What 16-18 year old has the capital to open up a store and get a business liscence?! Wasn't he working in a grocery store at the begining?
If he is 16-18 years old, shouldn't he be in high school as mandated by the state? Unless he dropped out...
Shouldn't Child Protective Services have at least been brought up at some point since he was a minor when his last relative died thus leaving him without a gaurdian or foster parent?

Concerning the gun: I may not be a hunter, but I am almost certain that its illegal to hunt with automatic weapons. Most handguns I've seen marketed for hunting are revolvers. From what I've heard and read, hunters tend to use .38-.45 caliber rounds for most game and the little .22 for birds. 9mm is mostly selfdefense against other people.

Im sorry if I was a bit dickish or mean in my review.
I wanted to enjoy this, I really did. I was actually thinking about how I hadn't found an AJ on earth fic when I stumbled on yours. I was actually happy that you were going after the My Little Dashie recipe for success of ploppin AJ as a filly in a box.
It was the above issues that kept me from feeling it. Heck, it started to feel like "Half Life: Full Life Consequences" or "Spiderses" at around the time Celestia showed up and I am almost certain that Spike just seemingly disappeared after his appearance at the front door.

Again, sorry I was mean but, I felt like I should tell you the issues that you should fix up so that you can turn this into a better fic for future readers. Its just that reading this fic hurt, and not in the good kind of hurt that you get from My Little Dashie, but the bad kind of hurt when you get when you power through a poorly made meal so you dont waste the money and food or hurt someone's feelings or the kind of hurt that you get when you take a class thats mandatory but you dont want to take it and its taught so poorly that you feel dumber at the end of it(I've had one of those, its a bad feel).