Ponies Anonymous

by DontAskForCookie

PA Chapter 1.5: "Comfort"

Ponies Anonymous

Chapter One and a Half: "Comfort"

A (mini-) side fic by DontAskForCookie for Display on FimFiction

Based on the excellent fic "Five Score, Divided by Four" written by: TwistedSpectrum

Editing graciously provided by the wonderful TheGingaNija

~ ~ ~

Buzzzzzzzt …

Buzzzzzzzt …

Buzzzzzzzt …

I silently watched the cell bounce and dance on the counter-top as it vibrated. Lifting my freshly opened bottle to my lips I take a long sip as I muse over how much the small plastic object reminded me of a bug. It was small, annoying, and wouldn't shut up. About all the same qualities I equate to a bug.

Buzzzzzzzt …

Buzzzzzzzt …

Buzzzzzzzt ...

Setting my beer aside I wipe a bit of froth from the corner of my mouth with the back of my sleeve. A few years ago I wouldn't have been caught dead doing something like that, especially not in a dress uniform. Spare or not It still had meaning, or rather it should have meaning. These days I had a hard time building up much enthusiasm for anything really.

Buzzzzzzzt …

Buzzzzzzzt …

Buzzzzzzzt ...

Sighing, I rub my baggy eyes trying to remember when the last time I had a proper nights sleep. Glancing up at the clock I saw that I had already missed the changing of days, the digital clock read out announcing brightly that it was now four in the morning, May first. Seeing the cell’s screen light up, signalling it was ready for another round of buzzing, I hastily made a prayer.

“Please you annoying little bug, just shut up and let me sleep,”

Buzzzzzzzt …

Not unpredictably, the cell phone doesn’t seem to pay my request much mind at all and goes ahead with the vibrating anyway. I'm just starting to consider the merits of crushing the fat plastic bug with my bare fists just to get some measure of peace and quiet when it thankfully, mercifully silences itself.

The screen lights up again but I don't bother looking, I know near enough what it’s trying to tell me. What was that, eight missed calls now? It didn't particularly matter to me as there was absolutely no one I wanted to talk to anyway. If whoever it was on the other line wanted to get in touch so bad they could drag their ass over here to see me as far as i'm concerned. Why should I answer a call at four in the morning when I had made it clear to everyone that I didn't want to talk, especially this day of all days.

Sighing, I lean back in my seat, twisting around in it as much as I could, trying to find a comfortable position and failing. A year and a half I’ve had this chair and I still can't get comfortable in it.

I laughed at that, not a pleasant sort of laugh but an ugly, almost maniacal one. The laugh is almost enough to scare me, almost enough to get me to reconsider actually picking up that new antidepressant prescription my quack therapist was trying to shovel on me, almost enough to hit redial on the phone and beg whatever good natured soul that had tried to reach out and help me at this ungodly hour for help, almost …. but not quite enough. Instead I just sat there and continued to try and get comfortable.

Comfort never came.

Scratching my chin I think about sleep. Sleep had come easy to me once upon a time, but that seemed like a whole other life now. A happy life that belonged to a completely different version of myself, a whole other Cole Greene. Second Lieutenant Greene, not this piteous slob that wore his spare dress uniform and couldn't even sit in a chair properly.

Feeling my eyes watering up I glance to the large windows of my apartment. I had always felt like the massive pane of glass was very much like a screen, giving the world a peek into my own private den of woe. Picking up my beer, I place it in my lap and begin to push my chair towards the window, my gloved hands angling the Large wheeled frame right up to the edge of the glass. Stopping I look out into the night to find all eyes on me, no doubt all those twinkling lights were expecting a repeat of last years performance.

Lifting the beer to make a quick toast to all my viewers I throw back the rest of the stiff drink in one long swallow. The drink never helped with this damn chair, but it did help sleep come. Maybe this time I wouldn't dream, or if I did maybe I wouldn't dream of the accident. Then another thought came, one that actually did manage to give me a small degree of comfort, maybe I would have the other dream…

the one where I'm flying again, only without a plane.

~ ~ ~

Author's Note:

Alright so I am currently working on Chapter 3 at the moment and saving Chapter 2 for next week, I want to make sure I have a good backlog before I get to settled into a definite update schedule. Feeling a bit bad sitting on a full chapter but not sharing I decided to go ahead and crank out a miniature one to help tide over my readers till next week. Not sure If im going to make this a common thing but I do know that I had fun exploring a character that may other wise taken me a while to get to in the story proper.

Hope you enjoy it!

Comments

[Kingsonnn Dededoo]

For some reason it didn't click for me that he was in a wheelchair until right at the end. I don't know if that's what you were shooting for or I'm just kinda slow on the uptake, but either way it resulted in a "whoa" moment. Very good job with that.

[DontAskForCookie]

3097514

Thanks for the comment!

Also yes, that was the intention of the scene. I wanted to reverse the natural progression of telling you what was (or at least part of what) is wrong with him and them letting you feel bad for him. Instead I wanted to show his pain and work backwards, saving that one fact for the end of his scene.

Im glad to see that It read the way I wanted it to.

[River Road]

3097537

I really like that technique, and so far I have to say that you're a natural at it.

Personally, I usually like to use a different devious scheme. I bring up an important plot device out of nowhere, end the chapter on a cliffhanger right before the actual nature of it is revealed, then spend part of the next chapter backpedaling and explaining what just happened.
My greatest success so far was when a big confrontation was suddenly interrupted by an unknown character (the only description was "a voice from somewhere") who was allowed to say one sentence before I cut the chapter off. Then I did a scene change to a completely different group of characters and spent the next two chapters on how they inadvertently rescued the pony Group A had twice failed - and was still trying - to rescue, and ended on the exact same scene, only from that pony's perspective (indicating that he was, in fact, the unknown voice).

[River Road]

I remember that someone asked about injured or disabled people turning into ponies. I'm very curious to see your take on the matter.

Also, "Buzzzzzzzt" is my word of the week now.

[DontAskForCookie]

3100555

Its a good word

[Flash_Magnus]

This is really good I can't wait for the next!

[DontAskForCookie]

3107750

Thanks for saying so! Also you'll be glad to hear that you wont be waiting for to much longer as Chapter 2 will be going up later today. Hope It will live up to your expectations!

[Flash_Magnus]

3107809

You're welcome and hooray!

[DontAskForCookie]

3107844
Always glad to see people enjoying my writing.