• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 24th, 2019

Thorax


T

Land Locked was never one for the small port village he was raised in. He had always dreamed of a life at sea, exploring the world and claiming treasure as his own. However, the open water is no place for an Earth Pony.

But when a voice in a strange dream starts guiding him and an even stranger ship shows up in port, maybe he's finally been given the chance he's always wanted.

But when Griffins and Changelings are thrown into the mix, along with the Royal fleet, was this really the adventure he was looking for? Or a tragedy waiting to happen?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 48 )

PIRAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :pinkiehappy:

AWRIGHT
YISS
THIS IS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD

DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE

I am so ready for this.

you startled Me

Me doesn't need to be capitalised.

Pegasi and the Unicorns

The races don't need to be capitalised.

came into few,

*came into view

entire ships going

*entire ship's

She finished with a look agitation

Needs a full stop (or period depending on your nationality) at the end. Also should be "look of agitation".

to the Tavern,

Unless that's what the title is it needn't be capitalised.

voice on an angry

*of an

of a ship a grey Pegasus who

Should probably be "of a ship: a grey pegasus" or "of a ship. A grey pegasus"

There's something about him that I just don't trust about him.

Redundant sentence is redundant.

"Damn"

"That doesn't matter"

Needs a full stop.

"No idea" Gwyn

Gwyn what?

"Well at least he's sober when it counts"

Hazard a guess.

other Griffin

The species doesn't need to be capitalised.

"Oh god what is that smell"

Oh gods what have I done

God/Gods, however, should be capitalised. Though what Gods do ponies worship?

Liking the story so far, I just can't help but nitpick. Really, there are very few errors to find compared to most stories.

Who's ready for an adventure?

3096659
3098916
3098989

The pirates have arrived to claim fimfiction as their own!

3099139
Damn, I thought I did pretty good with my editing, though I didn't have my pre-reader or editor for the actual release.

I'll go through and fix all these up. Thank you for the help.

3099258
3099464
Oh god the pirate music has arrived

Love the idea. Execution needs some work, though. There were punctuation errors aplenty. I'd recommend getting a good prereader/editor to help ya out this.

Looking forward to the next chapter regardless. I am left with questions to be answered, but this is a good thing. Can't wait. :ajsmug:

One more thing. The transitions to Land Locked's dreams are little jarring. I've used this sort of thing in a story before, so I know it's tough to pull off. I'd recommend smoothing out the transition, or even off-setting them like so:

After some careful searching, he found the perfect spot located between a shelf and some stacked boxes. Luckily for him, the room appeared to smell even worse than he currently did so if he was lucky, nobody would find him till they were already far from shore. After several minutes of waiting, he found his eyes growing heavy as he slowly drifted into sleep.

******

Once again the young earth pony found himself lying on the beach, however this time the Calypso was slowly floating just a ways off from the beach itself.

And remember, almost no one begins dreaming immediately after falling asleep. (I'm assuming this applies to ponies as well.)

3099773
That seems like some solid advice, I'll try and plan the transitions a little more carefully the next time they occur.

Thank you :D

3099742
I forgot to say thank you for giving me a shot.
I've never done this style of story, so it might take some time for me to get into the flow.
Hopefully I wont disappoint you

Just one thing lads: Why's the rum gone?
Also: Remember this day as the day you almost caught Captain Land Locked.

Well fuck...
I was actually trying to write my own pirate fic... Just been distracted with two other fics that I haven't progressed it far, damn...
Not a bad fic, I enjoyed it. Just kinda pissed that people get these stories out so fast...

3100241
DO THE PIRATE FIC
Pirates have to claim the featured box!

3100307
In time.
This is going to reach the feature box, surely by the amount of followers you have and the positive feedback. Then others will make pirate fics and the site will get bored of them...

3100313
Well I know I'll promote any good pirate fanfics, it's a sadly underdone genre. I doubt there will be a flood of them.

3100341
Let's give it a day or two and see, shall we? And I hope not, pirate is a great genre, and I'd love to see anything beyond pirate as long as it's a ship to sea fic, privateering, merchants, anything!

3100374
Sea Merchants would be pretty awesome

I love this- i really like adventure style fics- and pirate fics as well

3099929 You're quite welcome. It's what I'm here for. And it's always good to experiment and try new things; in your case, this being a new type of story. Have fun, go nuts, and see what happens. :pinkiehappy:

oooh, I have a feeling this is going to be a good one! :twilightsmile:
And for inspiration I leave you this:
remote.brimzero.net/geeknights/pirate_ghosts.jpg

I like where this is going. A lot.

3100707
Those cheeky Pirate Ghosts

3100709
Good to hear, I'm actually enjoying writing this story a lot too.

Color me intrigued.

As a fan and fellow writer of pony adventures on the high seas, I must say that I really want to read this story. In case the previous statement didn't make it obvious, I haven't read it yet—it's like midnight here and I haven't slept well in days—but the synopsis alone was enough to get me interested. I'm going to be very busy tomorrow, but know that I will be doing my hardest to get everything finished early so I can sit down and read this.

I just wanted to drop you a note saying good luck :pinkiehappy: As other comments have pointed out, pirates/adventures on the ocean are fairly rare, especially in pony fiction. It's even harder to find one that's well written. Before today, I hadn't seen a story like this—other than my own—that wasn't: 1. A crossover of some sort, or 2. Dealing with Skyships instead. I'm sure others exist, but I just never see them.

Hope you have as much fun as I do writing in this genre :twilightsmile:

P.S Awesome name for a main character longing for a life on the sea.

3101505
So far I'm having loads a fun, I started writing yesterday and once I got going I went from 11AM to 1AM of just pure writing.

I've never tried writing griffins, either so this is an entirely new deal.
And hopefully I can make sure this is a great story for everyone reading it too

3100072 They burned all the food! The shade! The rum!!!

This story needs a proofreader. The ideas are sound, but the errors in grammar and spelling made it difficult to read. The Proofreader Group here on FimFiction can help you with that.

FYI I haven't voted on this story yet.

3102717
I do have a proof-reader, but at the time of uploading she was out on family matters.
Don't worry though, the story should be all fixed up in the next few days at very most.

3103899
:O That's okay
Also thank you for the favorite :D

3103869

I look forwards to reading it then. Good luck!

I am already in love with this story!

Is this based off of the "Assassins Creed: Black Flags" novel? The description makes it sound similar to that

3989266
Never read it or heard of it.
Though I did write this out of hype for Black Flags release.

3989789 Well, you actually hit the synopsis spot on. It's very similar, but will make for a very interesting read. I'm actually reading the novel right now, and it's awesome

3989913
Hopefully I get my groove back for this series and start it up soon.

Nice story. Needs some new updates to it though.

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