5. Always In My Heart
Lost In The Herd: Three
Letters From
Home
By Chatoyance
Chapter Five: Always In My Heart
Stephen:
There is probably little reason to write this letter, or so they tell me, but I just can't seem to accept things. Perspicacity suggested that I try writing to you, that it might help me work things out. She's a lot smarter than I am pretty much about everything, so here I am, wondering what I am supposed to say to you.
None of this seems real to me. There has to be a mistake somehow. It's all so hard to accept. I guess I'm writing this, and sending it to your sister in Grand Rapids, in the hope that you may somehow see it. I want to believe that you could somehow see this. That you can still see it. I don't know what else to do.
I am told that you... are dead. I am told that you died flying an attack copter into the Great Barrier at full speed. That you conspired with your ladyfriend Hannah to - I can't wrap my mind around it - assassinate two of our Equestrian ambassadors. And the worst part is that it is my fault, my fault that it was possible at all.
You know you were my best friend, back in the human world. We knew each other from grade school. We went to the same high school, and then college. We shared an apartment for I don't know how many years. I was there when you married, and divorced, Ashley. Remember the divorce party we all had? That was such a strange year.
I thought I knew you, I thought I understood you down into my bones. I thought of you as the brother I never had.
I just can't accept that... any of this could be true.
Maybe it isn't, I keep hoping. Maybe, someday, you will show up, here in Greater Fetlock, clopping down the cobblestones, some fine stallion I'd be proud to show off to my wife. You and Rocket and Perspicacity. I could enter the Running Of The Leaves together, and my son would finally get to meet my very best friend. You could be his uncle. Oh, Celestia. Celestia.
In case it isn't all true, I'll tell you about the past six months. Maybe it will help me make sense of it all, to put it down on paper.
I passed my tryout for being a Firepony. Both me and Rocket got in. We had set up a little practice area near the Newfoal barracks. We borrowed a hay cart and practiced pulling it, we pretended ropes were fire hoses and memorized the city. Rocket and I really bonded trying to get those jobs. I guess that's part of the reason Perspicacity and I adopted him. We're a family now, all living together above the telescope shop.
Beloved Celestia and Luna, but I love that filly. She has stood by me through all of this, and there is no way I deserve it, but she did. Rocket really is a 'luck pony', I guess, at least for me. He didn't get a clover-leaf like I thought, but he did get his mark. So have I. We both have matching flames and waterdrops. His mark has the drops on the left, and mine has them on the right. I guess being Fireponies was our true destiny in life. It definitely feels like it to me. Those matching Butt Marks really make us look like father and son, too.
I hadn't heard from you for four, almost five, months, but I wasn't thinking about that at the time. I was so busy learning how to be the best Firepony I could, and helping Rocket to be one too. Being a Firepony can be demanding, and dangerous work. But it is so very rewarding. I feel like a hero, sometimes, when I know I've rescued somepony, or at least saved their home or business. Most of the time, though, we all just wait around the hall. That part is really hard.
You would think being able to sit around and play games or talk would be an easy life, but it really isn't. Always we wait for the bell, always we are half on edge waiting for the call. Half of me dreads the call, because of what it means, and what we'll all have to face, and half of me is frustrated that the call hasn't come yet because waiting is so hard. Being a Firepony is a strange occupation.
But I am so fortunate - I have a career I am grateful for, I can help support my family, and I have a son I feel genuinely grateful to have. Rocket has turned out to be a young colt I am really proud of. It's hard to imagine I ever thought he was a punk. All he needed was a little love and someone to show him how to be a stallion in the world. He was cited for bravery, I'd like to brag. He managed to save a little foal that was inside a burning barn, just before it collapsed. I almost had a fit at the time, I can't help but worry for him, but it was what needed to be done, and he did it, without once thinking of himself.
About a month after Rocket and I got hired, I proposed to Perspicacity. I had a solid job, a good future, and dammit, I knew I loved her even then. I guess I probably knew pretty much from that first time I met her, catching all those telescopes. I was afraid, of course, when I proposed, because we hadn't known each other for all that long. But sometimes, when magic happens, you just have to go for it, and I did. Luna only knows what she sees in me, but whatever it is, I am grateful for it.
Anyway, as I mentioned, it had been five months without any response from you, and I had just started to wonder if you were ever going to write back when there was quite a commotion in the street. Remember how I wrote that nobody famous ever visits Fetlock? Well, that's no longer true, and I can't say I ended up very happy as a result.
When I peeked out of the firehouse, the first thing I saw were these four amazing, armored pegasai. White as snow and covered in plate, with really fierce looking helmets. This was something to see, but there was more. They were pulling an amazing carriage, the Royal Carriage of Equestria, and you can guess who was riding in it. I felt a strange feeling of fear and devotion. Celestia. Princess of all Equestria, Goddess of the Sun. Here in Greater Fetlock.
When she started heading towards the Firehouse, my legs just buckled. I was down on the ground, bowing without even thinking of it. You don't need that training they give you at the pony school. You just can't help it. She has this presence, this majesty, that you can feel. It just fills the air. It fills the mind, it gets into the bones. It isn't like meeting some earth president or CEO. She is the real thing. Power incarnate.
I can say that she is definitely not of the world. Close up - her mane is not hair. I don't know what it is, energy, a curtain of light, pure magic flowing out - whatever it is, it is a badge of otherworldly something. It flows in currents beyond any wind, and to look into it is like looking into the colors of infinity. Celestia is absolutely a supernatural being.
I no longer doubt that she truly causes the sun to rise in the sky.
As glorious as this was, it did not go well. I was arrested - well, not exactly arrested, not like on earth, but taken into custody by a pair of those armorplated pegasai. I was never beaten, microwaved, plasma-whipped, pain-sticked, tortured or crippled. It wasn't like dealing with police on your side of the barrier. Everything was remarkably civil and polite. But I felt like I was in trouble, and honestly, I just plain wanted to cry. I wanted to cry like a foal.
My next few hours were some of the hardest in my life. I spent a long time just waiting in the city hall. They had appropriated the mayor's office, and that is where I sat. I don't know if they posted a guard, I was too afraid to move. I had no idea why I was there. I figured that maybe it was just because I was a Newfoal, a former human, and maybe I had somehow broken some law by marrying Perspicacity. I was so afraid for her. What had I gotten her into, thinking I was good enough for somepony like her? I felt so ashamed and sad.
Finally Celestia, herself, entered the room. Tea was brought for her. She sipped her tea and regarded me. That was probably the longest few minutes of my existence. I couldn't bear to look her in the eye. I just kept staring at my hooves. I wanted to beg her on behalf of Perspicacity and Rocket, whatever was wrong with me, they were innocent.
In the end, it turned out to be about that schedule I sent you, the one Skysinger had gotten for me, the one that told which Bureaus Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were visiting. I was informed that an attempt on their lives had been made, that Hannah had opened fire in the Lancing Bureau, that innocent humans and ponies had been hurt, even killed. I couldn't take it in. It was like a horror story just to hear such things.
But the worst was hearing that supposedly you had been working with Hannah all along, that I had been used to gather information, that you had betrayed our friendship, my... trust.
Celestia asked me questions, explained things, I can't remember everything that was said, or how I answered - the whole experience has blurred in my memory. I know I broke down and wept at least once. She was never unkind, I remember that, but I think she was somehow looking right down into my very soul during that talk. She was very gentle with me, but I was under no doubt, even for a second, that if I had been truly to blame, if I had actually plotted against her, I would not have survived that day. I don't know what she could or would do to an enemy, but I have no doubt it would be final. Celestia is both lovely and terrifying. She is sublime, fear and wonder and awe.
That said, I would never want to do anything to even upset her. Not because she is powerful, but because I genuinely don't wish to. If anything, I want to serve her to the best of my ability. I'm not sure that I can explain to you why, but the best I can offer is that she is worth devotion. You can feel it, right down to the marrow. I've never felt anything like that, even as a human child, not for any flag, or corporation, or earth leader. It's like not wanting to disappoint your own mother, only more so.
The one lasting memory I have of meeting Princess Celestia was a look of pity on her face. It didn't shame me, but it did make me feel very sad. She didn't pity my naivety, or that I had trusted without caution, or that I had failed to even imagine that the information I got for you could ever be used wrongly. I think, to this day, that she felt sorry for me, because she knew my heart had been broken.
I am so angry at you. How could you do such a thing?
Maybe this all isn't true. I want to believe it isn't true. But Celestia is a goddess. A living goddess. How can she be in error? She can raise the very sun into the sky. I want to believe that even a goddess can be wrong.
I want to believe that one day, I will see you, all ponified and fine, trotting up to meet me. My old friend, still my best friend.
I don't know if I can ever completely accept this. Probably to the end of my days, some part of me will be waiting for you to show up on our doorstep, even after Zero Point, even after there are no more humans. A part of me imagines you are already here, in Equestria, starting out in one of the many other Newfoal schools.
My life went back to more-or-less normal after The Royal Visit. Someponies kind of treated me a little funny for a while - I mean it isn't everyday that Celestia Herself comes to a town like Fetlock just to talk with some pony. Especially about something like... what happened. Apparently a copter managed to smash through the Barrier and there was all kinds of fuss. I hadn't heard anything about it until that meeting with Celestia. Greater Fetlock isn't exactly an important hub of civilization.
I hear that Skysinger was called on the carpet too. I haven't seen Skysinger since then. That hurts me a lot. My first pegasus friend, and I don't know if he will ever want to talk to me again. He has no reason to trust me anymore, and every reason not to, I understand that. I just wish I could talk to him, explain that I didn't know not to trust.
But I am just an earth pony. I can't fly. I wouldn't know how to find him, even if I could be sure it was the right thing to do at all.
Perspicacity has been wonderful through all of this. She has put up with my grief over all of this, and she never doubted me once. I wonder if, as a unicorn, she can see into ponies souls too, or if it is just that she just loves and trusts me that much.
Rocket and I work hard at being Fireponies, and on weekends we run together all the way to Just Fetlock and back, and sometimes Perspicacity joins us, and we are our own herd, running, running like the wind.
I always keep an eye on the sky, in case somehow I might glimpse Skysinger again. I guess I just can't help being the hopeful sort.
And I keep you, my old friend, always in my heart, and every corner I pass, as we run, I look to see if maybe, just maybe, it could be you galloping up to meet us. I guess I know it is unlikely, maybe even impossible.
Equestria is a magical land. Maybe there is enough magic even for the occasional miracle, If I just hope enough.
Rest easy, my old, dear friend.
I forgive you.
- Wildfire
The End
The Lost In The Herd Series:
One: The Big Respawn,
Two: Euphrosyne Unchained,
Three: Letters From Home,
Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm
The Conversion Bureau Novels:
27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies
The Taste Of Grass
The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste
The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise
The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony
The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society!
Recombinant 63: A Conversion Bureau Story
HUMAN in Equestria: A Conversion Bureau Story
The PER: Michelson and Morely
Little Blue Cat
Cross The Amazon
Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: The Final Conversion Bureau Story
The Short Stories:
Her Last Possession
The Conversion Bureau: PER Equitum
The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe
Tales Of Los Pegasus
The Poly Little Pony
The very first and original
Conversion Bureau Group
archives only the best Three Rules Compatible stories!
Optimalverse Works:
Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens
Leftovers: A Friendship Is Optimal Story
IMPLACABLE
My Life In Fimbria
Injectorverse Works:
I.D. - That Indestructible Something
The More Conventional Fanfics:
The Ice Cream Pony Summer
Around The Bend
PRIDE related works:
Transspecieality
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Oh, dear; perhaps he'll meet the four new-foals from the last story to gain a bit of perspective on this.
The third story of four is now done. I was a little more experimental with this one, a little more daring in the style. I hope it worked out for at least some readers. I especially enjoyed imagining how sapient ponies could work in the world, building and making things. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that a race of beings without hands could manage a technology - so long as their temperament enforced some form of universal cooperation - a 'herd instinct' overriding all else. The old saying from China 'Many hands make light work' applies, only with hooves and mouths replacing hands.
When I wrote this I strongly felt Noah/Wildfire's emotion about the events of his life, my wish is that something of that might have come across. In any case, thank you kindly for reading it.
You just keep getting better.
Wow. When I read the first part, the revelation, my heart sank. The intertwining between the stories was very well done.
Only issue I could see was that Wildfire went from anger at his friend to forgiveness a little too quickly.
But all in all: wonderful job. Your writing keeps getting better and better, and I'm glad, because I get to read all of your stories! Keep it up!
I was so shocked about the first part of the letter I could hardly read the rest, it was as if one of my own friends had betrayed me. The amount of emotion you were able to put in this piece was amazing!
Another good story. I think you're improving with each one, and you wove this story into your previous one quite skilfully.
Kind of nice to hear that at least some of humanity trying to fight, at least some of us not traitors.
Well that was unexpected.
Wow, that ending hit me surprisingly hard, been very melancholy all evening since finishing this one, cried during the last chapter. Nicely done.
11328 I think that's part of it, is that ponies are predisposed to forgiveness quicker than a human would be. It draws a nice distinction between the two species
1844599
Your comments cheered me when I needed it. Thank you.
I'm glad you liked the 'For Science' dog bit!
Wow. What a great way to end the one-sided correspondence story! I was afrad of how, after discovering what Stephen was going to do with the information (gained from your connections made in the previous chapter), the correspondence would be terminated. But you made a great decsision to make it a coping mechanism, suggested by his wife. Though, the mood swing of this letter (from anger to forgiveness) was swift, I think it is supported by his mutual awknowledgement of the horrible truth and his hopes for a better future. Also, as you said in "Unchained" and other works, that ponies are more likely to keep a level head and less likely to hold a grudge than humans. Great work! I like how you are using different writing styles for each of the "Lost in the Herd" series, and, of all of them so far, I think that you rose to the challenge of such an unconventional writing style (one-sided corrsespondence) with great success! Thank you for writing this! It was really amazing to read!
Oh shit.
That origin story.
Wow. That was a gorram rollercoaster of feels, but... I think what hurts the most is not knowing whether Skysinger and Wildfire ever made up.
I hope Sky decided to try again, eventually. Which reminds me, I still need to figure out who Amaranth is...
I hope he gets to be friends with Sky again. What a terrible thing to have happen to you :(
Another story where the word "Bittersweet" seems remarkably appropriate. If this is one of those meant to compare Equestria and Earth, it surely does a very good job. On the one hand, we see the difficulties and joys of adapting to life there. (Personally, I'm not sure how you could ever adapt to writing with your mouth. Say what you want about hands, but it's hard to compete with that level of dexterity. The Unicorns got it easy if you ask me)
It's remarkable just how similar Equestria is to earth. Well, maybe not this version of earth, or any earth that's ever actually existed for very long. Maybe more just the ideal of earth. In many respects, the love and community the Equestrians do have is exactly what so many people have longed for all their lives. Of course, it's also the small town thing. Some small towns can be like that. Well, the friends anyway. If you ignore all the drug addicts and people who hate each other, it's just like that.
It's hard to envy poor Stephen. I've already said what I think about him, so there's no need to go into detail. Still, it's sad to have to see the consequences play out like this. Masterful working the stories so they entwine like this, though. It's a pretty neat idea, and I sure didn't expect it. In a way, his connection with the protagonist serves to humanize him. To show that anyone we think as normal and balanced might end up a monster. Sure, they probably won't. But there's always the one. Even if this monster was more guilty of intent than success. It sounds like his girlfriend was the one who actually managed to do the murdering and stuff.
Celestia seems a little like Nyarlathotep, the way she's portrayed here. Maybe not all the different masks, but she shares much in common with the one in the Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath. She's surely not evil or wicked or malign in any way, at least not in this story. Yet, she is capable of actions that would be considered such, if you were to warrant it. It seems every society must be guilty of some evil in order to function, even the remarkably good ponies. It's just in their society all the hard stuff is concentrated into two ponies, so that it isn't shared by the whole society. Shame that's not practical here. Earth, as it happens, seems to be rather barreft of such divine beings incarnate, ruling over us.
And in the end, Wildfire forgave. That's a nice way to end it, even if there's no way he's getting his miracle.
4173660
Yes, yes it is. That is one of the first things that hit me when I watched the show initially. Here was this alien universe of sapient equinoids who literally control and are physical nature within their cosmos (except for the Everfree), and yet everything in their world looks like it was transplanted from the Tudor period of earth history and technology.
I love working out No-Prizes to explain things. I went through the notion of Equestria being a future, destroyed and reborn earth. The physics didn't work, so that was out. Then I simply accepted the universe at face value - it was a universe, another cosmos, not anything like our own. Equestria wasn't even a planet, it was a place, a realm, likely very alien indeed. So... as with my works in the past, such as Unicorn Jelly, I started working out the unique cosmology that would most easily explain what the show presented.
The connection to our earth was a natural progression of that line of reasoning... and in the rest of my stories I explore it thoroughly. By the end, almost everything will be explained, except for one thing: I never wrote the book that explains precisely what Equestria actually is. I don't know if I can do that now, or will... a lot was taken out of me by the massive harassment and abuse that happened. But everything but that last detail is fully explained.
There is no way that Equestria could look so similar to our world without some connection in the distant past.
I hope you will find my solution to this dilemma satisfying.
4175862
Yes, I had noticed that your stories tend to get lots of attention. Very polarizing, with lots of hate. That's part of what made me want to read them, actually. I figured that if lots of people hated them, they must be worth reading! Haven't been disappointed so far! I look forward to seeing all these questions answered as I continue to go through them! The journey continues! I should be able to read another story or two by the end of tonight, although they seem to be getting longer the further I get. >.>
I just love your Celestia, dear Chat. you can tell that she is a powerful but loving deity.
4176711
Thank you, very much, for being willing to read my stories. I put all of my heart and soul into them, I try to do my very best. I hope that you might like them!
4532780
I... like Celestia, very much. I reason that hers is a difficult and often lonely burden - she loves all creatures, she desires peace and order and kindness, but she must also rule - she is a ruler, and to rule is to make difficult decisions that must be made. When I write her, I think 'Diana and Venus, Elizabeth the first, what would a blend of them do?'
I see my Celestia as a nurturing mother figure, but also as a strong ruler, who seeks to maintain peace. She is, for me, a consummate chess player, but she doesn't play merely to win - she plays so that the other side feels satisfied too.
4533558 I certainly think you do a good job writing her.
'hugs'
4667647
Yes, the first letters can be imagined as scrawling messes written with pencil in teeth by an unskilled newfoal. The issue for me, as a writer, is to show this in some manner, in typeface text. I have taken the approach you have seen to indicate a growing competency, as each letter becomes more detailed.
I thought about how the character would cope with the difficulty of writing. The first letters would be simple, with shorter words, because each letter takes so long to write. The message itself would be short, too, because the effort would be great and time consuming. There would, of course, be errors.
As competency rose, the letters would become longer, and eventually become easy to do.
4668097
Aye, it makes sense, and I'm not sure how else you would have shown it. I suppose that you, with your art skills, could have actually just drawn the letters, but I'm not sure I'd have been able to read them. :)
Hm. I wonder how many pencils the Bureaus and other training centers go through due to novice earth ponies and pegasai accidentally biting too hard?
Oh, and besides the actual content of this story, it makes me wonder about the interuniversal mail system. Do heroic post pegasai fly directly from the Barrier to the destination, braving the HLF and the other dangers of Earth? Do unicorns do direct teleportation? Is the mail hooved off to human carriers on the shore or a ship? If so, what are their stories like? Are they all uniformed and well-funded Federal Parcel Express Service officers, or is some mail placed in the hands of lone independent couriers? Well, perhaps I'll find out later in the story. :)
4668706
This, exactly. Here is one depicted from the very first chapter of 'The Taste Of Grass'"
jenniverse.com/images/ch1explandflysm.png
Mail is carried between the two universes by pegasus mail carriers, running a regular route to major cities... and some especially brave ponies who seek out individuals wherever they might be. And right there, in that, is the basis of a very exciting and amazing story that I wish there were still enough Three Rules compatible authors regularly writing Bureau fiction out there to take up the challenge of.
Ah well, if beggers were wishes, horses... would fly. Across the Barrier and back.
To this day I despise the filth that killed the Bureau, and even worse, the cowardly Bureau authors who caved in to them.
4670065
"This, exactly. Here is one depicted from the very first chapter of 'The Taste Of Grass'""
Ah, yes, I'd quite forgotten that; my apologies.
"Mail is carried between the two universes by pegasus mail carriers, running a regular route to major cities... and some especially brave ponies who seek out individuals wherever they might be."
I don't think that such details were given, though, so thanks. :)
"And right there, in that, is the basis of a very exciting and amazing story"
Aye. HLF snipers taking potshots for kicks, recipients who are hiding for their lives, or on the move to try and escape…
Ooh, or even recipients who are themselves hostile. A sender who was a nasty piece of work before ponification and doesn't want to give up their old friends? Now there's a challenge for an especially gutsy pony.
"that I wish there were still enough Three Rules compatible authors regularly writing Bureau fiction out there to take up the challenge of."
I'm not really sure what the Three Rules are, I'm afraid. Almost all of what I know of the Conversion Bureau universe comes from your work. Sorry, though. I suppose that you could write it, but, even ignoring the things you're already working on, the writers I know seem to have far more ideas than they have pairs of hands to work the keyboard.
"Ah well, if beggers were wishes, horses... would fly. Across the Barrier and back."
…I'm not entirely sure that that's the way the saying goes, but I like it. :D
"To this day I despise the filth that killed the Bureau, and even worse, the cowardly Bureau authors who caved in to them."
I don't really know much about that either. I've heard a few rumors and assume that your persecution was probably tied into it, but I'm not clear on what happened beyond "bad things".
4670442 it was bad, i mean really bad. if you go deep into the comments of Chat's stories as well as the forums of the anti/pro conversion bureau groups you'll get an idea. Chatoyance went through hell with those cruel people from the anti-TCB group. some of her old friends betrayed her in the process. Chat can explain better then I could though.
4672441
So I've heard. I'll admit, I'm curious about the details, but I don't want to dredge up painful memories. Though... I suppose this topic coming up has probably already done that, if it's an issue at all. Sorry.
4672943 its not an issue for me personally, mainly because I came on this site after everything was said and done. honestly it makes it harder for me to explain everything. The most I can say was that Chat was bullied, but it would be easier for either her or one of her friends that had been there to explain. I suppose you would have to ask her, sorry I can't be more helpful though.
4672970
Oh, no problem. I'm also reasonably familiar with the persecution of Chatoyance, having read some of her blog posts on it; it's the larger context I don't know.
4673058 well I hope you can figure out everything you need to.
I don't see how anyone could hate her though. well good luck, and have fun reading the rest of Chat's work.
4673073
"I don't see how anyone could hate her though."
Oh, talking about how great it is to be nice to people while writing free internet stories that a few people dislike is one of history's greatest atrocities, you know. Yeah…
"well good luck, and have fun reading the rest of Chat's work."
Thanks! Speaking of which, I think I've time to squeeze another chapter in now.
4673170
Caesium or Cesium...
I grew up in America (sorry) and it is always spelled 'Cesium' here. In everything, everywhere. I have never seen the 'Cae' spelling before in all of my fifty-four years of life. I didn't even know it could be spelled that way, so... I have just learned something new. Huzzah!
4677254
…Huh. I've grown up in America too, and I don't recall ever encountering the "Cesium" spelling before (admittedly, I've not been on the planet as long as you have). How odd. Maybe I just didn't notice? Well, at any rate, I've learned something too!
4680547
Now, this fascinates me, my good mister Reese. I was figuring it was something European styled, say like the British and Canadian 'Colour' versus 'Color'.
Are you east coast? I live - and grew up - on the west coast. Could this be a 'side of the country' thing, like how folks in the east say 'pop' more often than folks on the west say 'soda'? Wikipedia suggests both spellings are acceptable, and equal. How did both of us manage to miss that there were two different spellings of the same word? I am boggled! Boggled, I say! Mystified!
Fifty four years, and I don't know this? And you don't either? Parallel universes in collision? Did they suddenly change the world, like in my novel Injector Doe? Do you have a theory, because I am just... well, BOGGLED!
4681833
Hm… Looking around the internet a bit, it seems that "cesium" is the preferred American spelling while "caesium" is the preferred international one, and there is some argument about this. So, while it does seem a bit odd that you'd never encountered the ae spelling at all, you were at least noticing the one was actually being used around you. Now, me… I don't know. Maybe I just happened to keep getting teachers, professors, and textbooks that used the other spelling? Or I saw both and only remembered one? Using the international rather than the American spelling seems like something I'd do, but I'm at least aware that it's a bit odd to be a natural-born American who prefers meters, kilograms, and degrees centigrade to feet, pounds-mass, and degrees Fahrenheit. I had no idea that caesium even had another spelling, though, until I saw it in your work. Surely I must have encountered it somewhere, at some time… My spellchecker put a red line under "caesium", if nothing else… Hm. Well, it seems that I shall be joining you in your bogglement. The most likely cause seems to me to be that we were both oddly unobservant on this issue, but given all your experience and the fact that the version I internalized is apparently not the one I've probably been most exposed to, that still doesn't seem especially likely.
"Parallel universes in collision? Did they suddenly change the world, like in my novel Injector Doe?"
Heh. Some world-changing injections drastically reshape civilization, life as we know it, and even the very laws of physics. Others change one letter in one word, because English teachers can get really passionate about minutia sometimes. :)
I do occasionally have moments where I pass familiar objects and notice small details that are obviously not new and that I remember as being distinctly different before. The simple and probable explanation is of course that my memory is just in error, but, when this happens, I generally do briefly reflect that there's a nonzero probability that it really was the world that changed.
Me too. A marble tile on the outer wall of my Japanese soaking tub that every part of my memory tells me was off-white and not brilliant white as it suddenly seemed to become last Thursday at four PM, specifically. It hasn't been changed, it has always been there, yet... everything in me tells me that it wasn't that way. It is like I jumped splays, and that is the only evidence.
Yes, memory is faulty, and nothing about memory can be truly trusted. I get that. But... wow, is the feeling of certainty about what 'used to be' before 'everything changed' a completely compelling one!
This sort of experience has haunted me my entire life. I wonder if there is a term for it (other than 'insanity', thank you very much) as there is for 'Deja Vu'? I am intrigued that you have experienced this... dare I say 'phenomena', or is that going too far... this... thing... as well.
It would be strangely funny to think that massive evidence that reality is not solid happens all the time, but the secret keeps itself because who the hell would take such a notion seriously?
4681976
I don't remember any specific examples of it happening to me (your appear to have much better record keeping here :)), but yeah. I never really wondered if there was a term for it, though. …And now I am wondering.
I did read this Subnormality comic on this sort of thing a while ago, though, and manage to find it again just now, so this probably isn't just us. I'd hypothesize that it's relatively common but not frequently mentioned.
"It would be strangely funny to think that massive evidence that reality is not solid happens all the time, but the secret keeps itself because who the hell would take such a notion seriously?"
Aye. Of course, this gets back into philosophy, since my (for any given "me") memories pretty much are most of reality as I know it. It's like Einstein's elevator thought experiment for relativity; we can't know whether external reality or our memories changed in such circumstances because the two events would produce exactly the same evidence. Of course, corroboration would help, but these are by definition subtle little things that most people either don't notice or don't mention noticing. Possibly brain scans would help, too, but it would require a intensive research program (due to the nature of the phenomenon) to study something the existence of which, as you say, isn't taken seriously.
Might be fodder for science fiction, though, now that I think of it… Some eccentric-but-not-actually-mad physicist who got lucky with regard to available resources notices this, starts studying it, and discovers an oddity in physics that makes FTL or something possible.
Oh, I hope Skysinger's okay. I don't see how he could have been knowingly participating…
And, well, there's the end of the story. A very different tone at the ending from the one at the beginning, but I still found it enjoyable. Hm. Not sure that I can think of much more to say about it at the moment; perhaps that wall earlier depleted my word reserves for the night.
Anyway, I am, as mentioned, continuing to enjoy your work, and the next story on my list is the final entry in the Lost in the Herd series. Now, though, I really ought to be getting to bed. Goodnight. :)
Oh, and I've just favourited and upvoted so that I won't forget. Again.
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It also came out entirely fascinating. The Shakespear thing - I try to show humanity as honestly as I can, with good and bad and everything in between. Then I pump up the good just a little, because I really have made a paradise out of Equestria, and anything would pale compared to that.
Optimalverse: If I could, I would ask CelestAI to make my shard, and me, as much like an immortal version of my Bureau Equestria (not the earth side, just the paradise aspect) as possible. The one thing I like best about my vision of Equestria is that taking the purple gets out the evil inside. The Optimalverse doesn't do that standard, it would be an option. Freedom from evil is a bolt-on addition in the Optimalverse. It's an option I would want.
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"It also came out entirely fascinating."
Oh, thanks.
"The Shakespear thing - I try to show humanity as honestly as I can, with good and bad and everything in between. Then I pump up the good just a little, because I really have made a paradise out of Equestria, and anything would pale compared to that."
The Earth of TCB is a somewhat odd mix of pessimism and optimism, really. On the one hoof, it seems a bit unlikely that things would get that bad. On the other, it seems unlikely that things would get that good, too. Sure, the environment is ruined, but it seems to be stably ruined instead of plunging off a cliff while half the government plugs its ears and hums really loudly. Over ninety percent of the population is very poor, but starvation has been eliminated; the average wealth, neglecting the top outliers, may actually have gone up. Pretty much everyone has unsightly and painful tumors, but medical science can mitigate these and, it seems, most other diseases. Small-scale violence is common, but war seems to have been eliminated. In some ways, the apocalypse that ended the old world was the best thing to ever happen to humanity (not counting the appearance of Equestria). This Earth could be a fascinating setting even without ponies, though of course that would lead to very different sorts of stories.
I do rather hope, though, that IRL we pull up before we have a chance to discover that we're actually pretty good at lithobraking.
"Optimalverse: If I could, I would ask CelestAI to make my shard, and me, as much like an immortal version of my Bureau Equestria (not the earth side, just the paradise aspect) as possible."
I expect you'd have company. I'm not sure if I'd be there, I'm afraid; while I do like your universe and would probably (well, almost certainly, but I'm hesitant to speak strongly without knowing the circumstances) take it over Earth if offered, I'm not sure if it's optimal for me. I'm not really sure how to best satisfy my values (or even what exactly those values all are), so that would have to be something to ask Celestai. I can definitely see it being a possibility, however.
"The one thing I like best about my vision of Equestria is that taking the purple gets out the evil inside. The Optimalverse doesn't do that standard, it would be an option. Freedom from evil is a bolt-on addition in the Optimalverse. It's an option I would want."
The big question regarding that in the Optimalverse, as I see it, is whether it's better to fix a person's flaws or put them in a reality where the flaws aren't flaws. Different people will have different answers, of course, but that's not an obstacle people with irreconcilable differences can just be put in different shards. I suppose it must go back to whether the person in question truly believes that the flaw is a flaw. I can also see a social factor in play: if someone truly thinks that, hm, there's nothing wrong with hunting humans for sport or something like that, they probably haven't aired this view much on Earth. When uploaded, they could either have this fixed or be placed in a reality where, yeah, there is nothing wrong with killing innocent ponies for fun. If the latter happens, though, there's a very good chance that they'll be separated from any friends they had before uploading, as said friends would very much not find it okay. Appropriately-minded duplicates could be created, but that comes at the cost of a small amount of processing power that could be used for satisfying others. Though… This is all assuming that the person in question would trust Celestai right away, which, statistically, probably isn't the case. More likely, they'd resist being changed at first, requiring the creation of multiple shards and, potentially, duplicate friends. Once that's established, it would be almost impossible to re-merge the shards. So, yeah, to have the modification in order to stay with their friends and/or spare processing power for others (without doing it just because Celestai says that it's the best course), they'd have to already knowingly value those above their unpleasant desires.
Anyway, yes, there are some faults in myself that I'd like corrected, but as I'd be trusting Celestai to know me better than I know myself, I'd want her recommendations before choosing.
I'm extremely impressed at how this series is going so far. I love how the first few stories are quite short; the first story was much more inviting than 27 Ounces was, being less than 6,000 words and all. I've wanted to check out TCB for a while, and it turns out you've provided the perfect introduction! I love how the stories get progressively longer and also delve a little deeper into the world each time; first we learn about the very basics of transformation and what it does, then we learn the mechanics of it, then we learn about life in Equestria as a new immigrant. I'm guessing the final one in the series based on the blurb is going to be about daily life in Equestria once the ex-human has settled in. Each story by its very nature requires more knowledge about TCB to appreciate, and yet never seems overwhelming since we've already learned some of what we need to know. And the length of the stories increases as we get drawn into the world; I probably wouldn't have started with a 40,000 word story, but now I'm happy to read it. It's a fantastically designed set of stories, and I've never seen anything like it before. Part of the reason must be the sheer magnitude of the project; if you'd just written The Big Respawn and that's it, it would forever remain just okay or kinda good, I think. It's the larger context of the world that it's introducing that makes it what it is, so I'm guessing you must have had at least a novel or two in mind before committing to starting the first story.
I also love the way you've managed to make Equestria sinister in a way, despite being canonically a paradise-type place, and not have these two clash. Ponies are just genuinely wonderful beings...but Celestia and Luna aren't really ponies. They're alien gods, and even though they seem good, what if they're not as benevolent as they seem? When I first heard the idea of Earth being taken over by them deliberately actually being taken seriously, it sent a shiver up my spine. I thought of it as some nutty conspiracy theory when I first heard it, but what if it's true? Somehow, you've managed to make the idea of Celestia committing xenocide work just fine within canon. I didn't think that kind of thing was possible, but when I thought about it...Celestia cares for her little ponies, that doesn't necessarily expand to humans who haven't converted.
And hell, maybe she genuinely thinks that she's doing the world a favor. Hell, considering how horrible the world in TCB is, she probably is. I forgot for a moment; this isn't our world under threat, this is a dystopian future. And then that leads to the hard ethical questions; is it okay to wipe out an entire species if it leads to a better outcome for 99.9% of entities concerned, even the species in question? Does Celestia have the right to decide what's best for humanity, even if she's right? The loss of humanity is a massive sacrifice. It might be one that's worth making in this crapsack world, but what gives Celestia the right to say so? If I had that kind of power, what would I do with it? As someone who lacks this power, I don't think I should force people to choose options under duress, even if the options were good for them. There's a large difference between advising someone to do something that will benefit them, and forcing them to do so under threat of gunpoint. But it's not exactly a cut and dry "I'm right, anyone who chooses differently is wrong" thing.
I'm guessing with hundreds of thousands of words left to read, all or almost all these issues will come up in the stories (except, obviously, the last question :D), and I can't wait. I'll have to start commenting along after each story. I would have started earlier, but while the first story made me curious, I only thought the world you'd come up with sounded kinda interesting, rather than great. It wasn't until this story that I realised the brilliance of the opening series, and that compelled me to comment. It's going to be one hell of a ride :)
As for whether or not I'd choose to convert; based on what I've read so far, if the Barrier wasn't expanding, I probably wouldn't choose to. Based on the posters in your profile where it's stated ponies have a far greater lifespan than humans, I probably would choose to. If faced with conversion or death, I'd definitely convert. Even pony-Salivanth is still Salivanth; 10 years ago I was nothing like the person I am now. I just happened to change gradually rather than all at once, that's all. I would miss my competitive nature (would I? Human-Salivanth would, but would Pony-Salivanth? There's a scary thought...), as I put it to good use rather than use it to hurt or threaten anyone, and I love the thrill of competition. I love my human body as well, especially hands, they're bloody useful things. But in the end, that's not worth dying for, whether it mean dying in 5 years when the Barrier finally reached Australia, or dying of cancer at the measly age of eighty-six.
Poor Wildfire all he wanted was for his best friend to be with him. Its rather sad still seems like time heals wounds way better then it does in Equestria then in our world, so hopefully he'll eventually move on. I do wonder what happened to Skysinger though. Anyway maybe I'll find out in 800 year old promise. I get the feeling this is the prequel to that.
Anyway this story does explain why ponies almost never get fat, given what you described they must anywhere from 10-20 times the calories an adult human male needs to break even. I also didn't think I'd learn about there bathroom habits, given what was said I think they put bulls to shame with the amount of shit they produce
8618076
My detractors would argue the same thing about me.
8618418
Lol well they need to get out more then. Even if we considered everything you've written as being crap (Which it isn't). You have a long way to go before you'd match the shear level of shit hollywood, and the reality TV industry puts out in a single year.
After reading this story, and also "Friendship Is Optimal_ Caelum Est Conterrens" + "I.D. - That Indestructible Something" + "The Conversion Bureau_ Code Majeste" + "The Conversion Bureau_ Euphrosyne Unchained" I really tend to think whole idea about making Celestia real God was incompatible with desire to have unhuman, _caring_ God ...Our ideas about God(s) reflected our own skewed views, and so our cultural development (why Princess of whole world will use same attributes of fame and power as humans from _very_ specific region of Earth, in time and space? Huh, was somepony just playing God sim? :} ) But seriously, i think our Gods and many ceremonies simply ethico/logically incompatible with magic land of sapient ponies...if they _really_ care about each other! Yes, business in such environment will not overshot into blatant exploitation, beating somepony at streets just for getting his/her money/items will be considered ...real unthinkable? But again, for actually _creating_ such world/cosmos one must be really advanced in some areas of knowledge. Plain old 'God" from 2000-3000 years old human legends simply too incompetent for doing all this. So, God (female god) must have info from very, very far future ..or previous life. Sorry, I know "kicking a scared cow" (wordplay on "Kicking sacred cows" by Hogan) is not really good behaviour, but I really, really dislike how our culture work. We can't tell what bit of it work in what direction, we just keep carrying whole package! God who fundamentally can simply play with you and then abandon because..s/he grow up, has something more interesting to do or anything ..doesn't look like being unhuman enough. Also, we come from future ..where everyone played God at least few times.. micromanagementing those little villages, factories, etc just plain boring. So, I really looking forward for other stories, Recombinant 63 was really hardcore (or should it be inverted now? really SOFTcore? good and bad, labels and reality..anyway, i really like when logic can hold your imagination, so you don't need to reinvent all those little out-of-nothing details just for keeping world from tripping over itself)
This made me FEEL! Excellent work. I saw the ending coming the second the HLF was mentioned from a mile away and it still hit me like a ton of bricks.
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I am happy you liked it! yay!
I just want to give Wildfire a hug. His only crime was trusting an old friend who by that time was probably out of his mind, driven insane by paranoia and imminent doom. That is the only explanation I can think of that allows me to not hate Stephen with all my soul.
Right now I'm scared to death for Skysinger. He shouldn't have given Noah/Wildfire that schedule, but he didn't have any more idea than Wildfire that it was a setup. Ponies are generally far more trusting than humans. Anyway, I hope he's well, and I dearly hope that someday he and Wildfire reconcile...though it's possible that Celestia forbade Skysinger to have any contact with any Newfoals until after the Earth is well and truly gone.
Speaking of Earth...I was so gobsmacked by the whole red smear walking arc that I completely skipped addressing the book in Perspicacity 's cellar. A firm connection to the reality of Earth. So...did Celestia create Earth? Or did Earth create Equestria?
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That book in Perspicacity's cellar is the entire basis of 'The 800 Year Promise'. The connection between earth and Equestria will be explained. And, as a reader of Unicorn Jelly, I think you might eventually, by the final book 'Fiddler's Green', be truly astonished.