Prologue
Solar Child
Prologue
Written by Dragon Genesis
Edited by Knight of Cerberus
Twilight turned in her sleep, a midnight blue hoof batting at her twisting head to try to dispell the dream. As her white mane whipped back and forth, the single purple streak flopped over her eye.
"Fuck it." she mumbled, sitting up in the captain's quarters. That was a plus of being the captain of Princess Celestia's guard. She also had a sneaky feeling that Celestia just didn't like the idea of her marefriend sleeping with a room full of stallions. She had been together with the sun princess for over two years now. They met three years ago when she was promoted to Captain and was sent to the princess for introduction. Since then they had grown fond of each other until they had started their relationship, which only a few ponies know exist.
Twilight chuckled as she examined the ultra-sound of her and Tia's foal that sat on the bed side table. Celestia was already seven months in, due in three. It was one of the things she hoped to head back home to once this border dispute with the gryphons was over. Then she could go home to a beautiful foal and marefriend. She glanced over at the box that held the ring she had picked up during a walk through the town. Well, let's make that fiancé. We've been together long enough.
Her ear twitched as the floorboards squeaked slightly. Twilight froze in her lying position and slowly cast out her magic, keeping her horn dim enough that it was nearly impossible to see. It was only after a few seconds that she sensed two life forms in the room with her, one surprisingly dimmer than the other. Gryphons. Pissed. Hostile. Right, forgot about that.
She slowly groped for the sword she had at the side of the bed. On the opposite side of the bed she could feel the gryphon's aura. Once within her reach, she gripped onto the hilt and flung it over to the other side of the bed, launching the sheath at the intruding gryphon.
The gryphon cursed and ducked, only to be hit by a crippling blast of magic as the midnight unicorn struck the soldier between the eyes. The mare searched around for the second intruder, but found no one. Twilight huffed as she got out of bed, using her horn to hit the alarm on the wall.
A siren went off as she rushed out of her room, her sword and armour catching up behind her. As her breast plate flew in front of her, she dove through it, slipping into it perfectly. Her helmet then placed itself over her horn and onto her head as her sword took up defensive stance next to her.
"All I want is to go home, propose to my marefriend, and see my baby girl for the first time. Is that too much to ask?" She asked herself as she whipped around the corner. Apparently, it was.
Gryphons surrounded the outpost, and were swarming the inside, attacking everything in sight. Ponies fell either wounded or dead to the gryphons as they rushed past, their blades flashing in the white light of the moon. The golden clad ponies of the Royal Guard fought against both sleep and the gryphons, leaning the fight more towards the favor of the enemy.
Cursing, Twilight ran into the heart of battle, taking a swing at the first gryphon that was unfortunate enough to step in front of her. His head was lopped clean off. She fended off two more that decided to rush her. Her sword wet itself with the blood of the gryphons as they charged her.
She was able to kill the two of them within a few seconds just before needing to rest. She huffed as she tried to catch her breath. She fell onto her haunches and coughed a few times, trying to regain air that she seemed to be lacking.
"What the fuck? W-why is it so difficult to breathe?" Twilight quickly cast an array of spells on herself to try to figure out what was wrong, all the while she kept an eye out for gryphons trying to attack her. It was something she learned to do to help in the medical tents when she first joined. It also made her more aware of personal injuries.
Finally, one spell found what it was designed to look for. Its results made her freeze and look down at herself in shock and horror. It wasn't any sort of wound, or injury. It wasn't a mental condition or anything. No, it was worse. It was something that Twilight would have never expected. She could hear the gods laughing at her.
She was pregnant.
"W-why now?" She asked herself shakily. "Why now? Why here?" She looked around, seeing a few gryphons rushing towards her. She looked back down at the barely existing foal in her womb. Motherly instincts were both telling her to run and to protect the foal. She was conflicted. Fight or run?
"I need to survive this. F-for you and for your mother." she said, scowling as she raised her sword and prepared her magic. "I will make it thro-". A deafing shot rang through the courtyard, making her freeze. A small tingling feeling was felt through her body.
She looked to see the gryphons stop and walk away. She stared in confusion, wondering why they were leaving. There was also the fact that there was a weird itchy feeling on her chest. It just...itched.
She looked down to see a sizable hole in her left chest cavity, not far off from her heart. Oh. So I'm dying.. She fell to her side, not even flinching as she collapsed to the courtyard floor. The reality of things was catching up. She knew that the foal would die the second she did due to the lack of proper blood flow in the womb. By the time her army would be able to save her, it would be too late. The foal would be dead.
I-I have failed you, Tia. I said I would return. B-but I won't. And I'm sorry, my children. I have failed you both. I won't see one of you born into this world, and I won't be able to give life to the other, I-I have failed you all. Twilight closed her eyes, her breath slowing as she died.
Good Bye, my love.
~~~~~In Canterlot~~~~~
"Do you have a name for her yet?" Asked Cadence as the young pink alicorn walked into her aunt's study. Celestia groaned and planted her face into the desk, her rainbow pastel mane still flowing despite the disturbance.
"Caddy, I still have three months. Besides, Twily and I still haven't picked out a name." said the white mare as she sat up. She straightened out the documents before her and went back to work on signing some bill she didn't care to read into well enough. The pink mare huffed and fell back onto her haunches.
"But Tiiia, the wait is killing me! I want my cousin now!" Celestia looked back in time to see Cadence pulling off a puppy dog look. The collected white mare broke out into giggles at the sight before shaking her head.
"It's her decision, not mine. I may be her mother, but I don't have much authority over her yet." said the mare with a giggle. Cadence giggled as well as the doors opened to let in a group of guards, each with their helmets removed.
"Princess, we have a disturbing update on the status of the eastern outpost." said the lead guard, stepping in front of them. As he did, he pulled out a rolled up scroll. Celestia's ear twitched at the mention of the outpost.
"What is it?" She asked, shifting from where she sat. The guard cleared his throat before reading out the letter.
"At 0200 this morning, a group of gryphon soldiers infiltrated the eastern outpost and started slaughtering guards. The assault ended at 0900, allowing us to count our dead, which we believe to be around 300 out of the 800 that were assigned."
"And of Captain Sparkle?" Asked Celestia, hoping to gods above that she survived.
"She was killed by some sort of new weapon. We were able to open her up, and found out that she was, um, pregnant, your highness. We have yet to find the father, but..." The guards words droned out as the goddess processed the information given to her.
"Y-you may leave us. T-tell the guards and staff that there will be no night court" said Celestia, turning her head away. The guards saluted and walked out of the room, leaving Celestia to mourn with her niece.
"Pregnant, Caddy. She was pregnant." said the white alicorn after a while, sobbing softly. Cadence ran a hoof through the elder alicorn's mane as she tried to calm her.
"There was not much we could do, Tia. She either didn't know or it was too late. We can't go back and change the past." said the pink mare. Celestia closed her eyes, the images of her loved one flashing through her mind as she did.
"I want a message sent to the Gryphon ambassador to meet with me tomorrow. In the mean time, I want the bodies of the fallen brought back to Canterlot, and to have Twilight's ready for me to see. I want to see exactly what they did to her." said the goddess as she stood, tears still staining her alabaster fur.
"And what of you?" Asked Cadence, concerned for her aunt's well being. Celestia paused mid-step before fixing a sorrowful look at her niece.
"I will mourn for my love and unborn child."
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Moar!!!!!!!!!
Looks interesting so far. I'm a sucker for momlestia stories, so I'll be watching this closely
I'm all for more momlestia. Please, do continue.
Well you have my attention so far. I can't wait for your next update.
Wow, the birth took like five minutes. A real birth takes on average 6 hours
I'll have to keep an eye on this
3084828
You're talking about human pregnancy... Not magical sun controlling unicorn Pegasus equines...
"My lover just died, better mare up and get ready for court"
...
Apart from that, it's not too bad. Not worthy of a fav just yet though
I am very partial to Momlestia, since it isn't explored as much as it should. But I do wonder... are you going to take the easy route and have Celestia foist Twilight onto Twilight Velvet and Night Light (and not telling her who her real mother is) or the hard route (aka the Scootamom Route) which she raises Twilight herself.
3084828
I really didn't put much time frame in but it was a long wait
43 notifications. 90% of them being this story. Thank you for the support and I will have another chapter up soon.
------- "So,, have you spoken to Sparkle since her deployment?" asked Cadence.
To many commas.
------- Quill kept trying to calm the alicorn while Cadence at there awkwardly, she didn't know what to do.
what? Rewrite that please!
-------- "Yes, it's just she has on he'll of a grip.
did you mean she has one hell of a grip?
--------"What are you going to name her?" asked Cadence. Celestia forgot to find one. She looked out the window in hopes to possibly find the answer in the night sky. Both the sun and moon were low in the sky, bathing the sky in orange and purple. The stars were just starting to show. Twilight. Celestia smiled as she looked at the sky.
"Twilight. Twilight Sparkle." Cadence smiled.
Cadence can read mind??????
Anyway, it's a good story so far! Keep it up!
3085041
Well I don't that it's a egregious thing I do think t little more about how Celestia struggled though that particular session of court might have been in order. Trying to keep herself together with such horrible new having been just given to her.
About to take a look, I enjoy a good Celestia as Twilight's mom story, reason why I started one of my own. Lots of potential pitfalls with it, but hopefully you do a good job. Once I read it I'll give ya another comment with a review of what I think from this. Shame your hook is only 1.4k words, we'll see what you've got in there.
3085156
Apple + autocorrect = awful spelling errors.
3085189 i do have that too on my computer. Helps some times.
Happy to help. i'm reading some of your stories now and giving you some of the correct things.
unicorn? I actually like twilicorn, will we see any of that?
3085531
Twilicorn obviously happened in season three. So she is a unicorn till then since her mother was a unicorn.
3085688 so long as the eventuality is there I am sated
Hmm, good start, it's a little fast though, doncha think? Though I'm assuming it actually did take months before the birth, it looks like it occurred the same day as Sparkle's death, I'd suggest taking out when Celestia told Cadence that it would still be months and have her say it would be soon, or make sure it's clear that it wasn't on the same day... I always make sure to check for continuity, clearness and grammar and those seem to be the things you need to go over. Anyways, enough of my complaining, this has earned my interest and a fave, please keep up the good work.
what?
sooo... is sparkle a male or female, who is this stallion which quill pushes out?
Overall not a bad chapter, good outline and buld-up.
It did seem though that the pacing was a bit rushed in places.
Also I'm pretty sure that the day of her marefriends death and a couple after it Celestia ould have cancelled court. But that's just me.
u have my attention, looking forward to chapter 2.
Overall Pinkiesmile rating
/ 5
You have gained my interest, now keep me interested.
Megatron out.
3085904
Sparkle is a female guard who was deployed to the western edge of Equestria and was Celestia's marefriend and is Twilight's second mother.
Sort of agreeing with a few of the comments above about how it seems like it all happened fairly quickly, with Sparkle's death seemingly happening on the same day/a few hours before her daughter was born. Also in the section where Cadance comforts Celestia it seems like it goes really fast for something that's supposed to be a moment of grief. Overall though, this looks interesting enough to track. I hope your next chapter comes soon! Momlestia is a weakness of mine.
one hell of a grip.
____________________
Story could've had more of a build up, and was kind of fast, but all in all not too bad of a start. * Goes to read next Chapter*
So....two mares can have a baby via magic? That's an unusual worldbuilding feature. I kind of wish that had merited more than a single sentence.
Awwwww
There are crapload of grammatical errors that interfere with my enjoyment of this story, so while I do like the premise, please go through the story one more time!!!
Also, Celestia... well her characterization clashes with how I see her. She wouldn't be so... well captain obvious in dialogue, try to get inside her head please
You needed to build up Sparkles death, it just seemed like "lets talk about my girlfriend, Oh she died" like build it up, other wise...YAY this seems interestin
You were doing soo well till the end here.
"I removed her wings, 50% of her magical power, as well as her earth pony strength in slumber. It will awaken when she is of age." She looked down and smiled at her daughter. "Until then, she is my little unicorn."
Other than that Good intro.
OMG YES
Wait, 'she has one of a he'll grip'? 'she has one of a he will grip'? May want to fix that
You meant hell.
ok. Imma go through your chapters.
telling everyone
it's really not nessicary for us to know that it means five in the morning.
Overall, as a first chapter. Not bad.
"I out her wings"
What?
Also, I'd normally say Celestia shook off the news too fast, but she probably has experience at grieving.
3085128
Doesn't make sense, are you sure you don't mean [rigid]?
I'm sorry, but what is going on here? Is Quill the stallion? The petitioner to mine beneath Canterlot? Celestia? I'm assuming it's the petitioner, but since it's near time to raise and lower the celestial orbs, I wanted to make sure Day Court was still in session, and referring to the petitioner and not Quill, or Celestia.
I'm assuming you want [haste] instead, right?
Peace,
AuthorGenesis
Giving this a shot now that it's complete, but you might want to consider going through this with an editor or something. This is riddled with errors. One early paragraph stuck out at me:
It should read like this:
Like some of the other commenters have mentioned, there are some pretty bad flow and perspective issues too. From this first chapter it seems like an interesting, if somewhat standard, "Celestia is Twilight's mother" story, but the numerous issues leave a bad first impression.
grolwed Celestia
growled.
3085041
That's what politics is actually like, and the more important a position you hold, the more like that it is.
You can cry when the day's over, any sooner is unsafe.
somethings messed up. i can only see the authors note!!! anyone have any ideas to what this might be and/or how to help ;(
Wish the story was here. Really wanted to get into the series
I wish you had left the story up until you finished rewriting it. I hope you extend it a bit. From what I remember reading it felt like everything was moving to fast, Please let things have more time to sink in. Great story ether way.
Is it just me or does everybrony see just the authors note??????
3749987 i thought Firefox broke
Calling it now the unborn child becomes some sort of Gryphon super weapon
Also, how would the thing with Luna have worked if Celestia was married when she came back? Did Twilight not know, did Tia forget or give up?
3871317
Remember, Twilight didn't get the chance to purpose, and Luna hasn't made contact with Tia. That's not for another six years,
She was never able to finish that sentence.
okay back up, what did we miss.. I have this story downloaded and it's over 20 chapters long....are we rewriting it?
3939332
yus
wait. WAT!
didn't this story have a lot more chapters. yeah it had like 23 chapters. why are you rewriting it. i thought it was really good the first time.
Post what ya have rewiten when its rewiten. And have the rest alredy posted.