Episode One: Let Me Tell You...
Do you know what perfection is? Of course you don't... But I do. Oh-ho-ho-ho, I do... You see, you and your little pony friends are ignorant, pee-brained savages living off of the land. Living off the land... Such a cute, pathetic sentiment. Why waste your time harvesting, tending, and caring for nature when you can just simply take what you want? Why eat the land when you can eat what eats the land? I mean meat... poultry, beef, lamb, pork; the basics of the survivor's food groups. Juicy, hot, thick, tender meat...
I am Sunset Shimmer; and thanks to a long trip I had to another world... I'm a carnivore. Unfortunately, eating meat is "wrong" here in Equestria. Somehow it's "immoral" to eye a fat cow and think of them as a steaming heap of burgers. We live in a world where it's -for some reason- "strange" to sniff a pig baking in the sun. This is a world that just can't accommodate someone of my "tastes", apparently. I'm considered "sick" for wanting to start a M.E.O.E. organization; Meat Eaters of Equestria. Times have changed... We live in a sick, oppressive world...
However... A thought had occurred to me some time ago. If I were to just have the smallest nibble of meat again from the other world, maybe that would be all I needed to stop craving it so badly. If anything, I can assume that if I were to get my leather jacket from that world, that would be more than enough. I miss the feel of leather so much... But, when I suggest that we start making leather here in Equestria, they threaten to call the guards on me! Whatever... I'll solve this problem my own way. It's a very simple plan actually. For the best, the partner I'm bringing with me needs things simplified...
Find meat, eat it. Find my jacket, take it. A simple plan all the way through. Foolproof. But, there is one little problem left... The mirror is kept in the Crystal Empire's castle. Highly guarded after my last break-in and break-out, it's nearly impossible to get to that mirror. To even get near it, we'll need the greatest degrees of cunning we could possible use...
"Would thou have't been in search of this?" Princess Luna inquired as she gestured a single wing to the Crystal Mirror and looked down at Pipsqueak.
The two were left alone as the guards were dismissed by the princess herself when her loved and greatest friend, Pipsqueak, asked for a tour of the Crystal Castle. When Pipsqueak talked about how he was interested in seeing the Crystal Mirror, Luna did not hesitate a moment to showing her little friend the way there and a direct display of the mirror itself. Pipsqueak looked it over in wonderment for a bit and nodded at Luna with glee. "Thank you, Luna! It's so pretty!" Pipsqueak's declaration made Luna giggle a bit.
The young princess withdrew her wing back to her side and looked to Pipsqueak with a soft expression. "Very much so. If thou whilst excuse me though, the royal chambers art calling mine name..." Luna nervously laughed as she felt her insides scrunch up and try to hold in her 'royal decree'.
With a simple wave and a step out of the way, Pipsqueak allowed the princess to dart out of the mirror chamber and down the castle hallway. Royal business was royal business after all. Pipsqueak made sure to watch her leave the hallway and enter what he guessed to be the 'royal chamber' before he said anything. "The cost is clear..." he whispered while looking around the small room.
Suddenly, a small spark of greenish magic erupted near the mirror, summoning from it Sunset Shimmer with a disproving scowl. "The coast is clear, Pipsqueak."
"But we're not on a beach..." Pipsqueak retorted.
All Sunset Shimmer could muster was a disproving groan and shake of her head before looking away from her brother and instead at the familiar mirror. "It's been too long, old friend..." Sunset muttered, lost in a fit of memories.
Pipsqueak joined Sunset at her side and looked up at her. "...Mirror's can't be friends, Shim," his kind smile kept Sunset Shimmer from hitting him at that point.
"Once we walk through here, our quest will start. So... Let me get a few things out of the way," Sunset cleared her throat, knowing this would take awhile, "First, get used to walking on your back legs. If you walk on all four, you'll draw too much attention. Second, if you see anyone that looks like you, tell me..." Sunset Shimmer's eyes narrowed to a shift glance, "Anyway... You'll also want to stop using the word 'pony' to address large numbers. Instead, just use 'people' or 'everybody'. Lastly..."
Pipsqueak waited for what the 'lastly' part he needed to hear, but Sunset stopped talking altogether. When he looked up, it was somewhat of a surprise to see his big bad sister blushing and casting her gaze elsewhere. "Shim? You alright?" He nudged at her side once.
"Y-Yes, I'm fine," she shook herself a bit and straightened up her posture, "Lastly, just remember I'm a bit well known around where we'll be. So if anyone asks, you're some kid I met on a trip to England last summer. Got all that?" No, he didn't at all... But that didn't stop him from smiling and nodding to make Shimmer happy.
"'Fore we go... Remember the note?" Pipsqueak asked.
Sunset Shimmer scoffed a little bit from self-pride when she lifted a piece of paper she had with her in a sack against her side and placed it on the floor. The note was a simple thing to tell Luna that Pipsqueak 'Went home for cookies and to get in his PJs for night-night'. Foolproof. "Alright, let's go!" Pipsqueak, without another word of warning, charged at the mirror at full force.
"Pip, wait!" Sunset tried to put her hoof down in front of him, but when she watched the surface of the mirror ripple and send little shimmers of light and sparkles, she could see she plainly missed. "Children these days... No patience." With that, Sunset Shimmer herself followed through the mirror after Pipsqueak, feeling the familiar sensation of otherworldly travel.
Within moments, she felt her mind slip away and all reality around her darken into nothing. When next her eyes opened, she would be back 'home'... And thirty minutes away from the cafeteria. God willing, it was steak day.
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Oh yes. THIS is gonna be a good one.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.
It's here!!
It's now waiting in line to be read, between the latest chapters of Taken for Granite and my ongoing read through of This Platinum Crown.
Your mind is just full of fantastic ideas.
This is going to be hilarious.
You know what I think would be interesting? They actually bump into the actual Sunset Shimmer of that world - who Sunset never bumped into while she was there cause she lived in another area of the world and is this Sunset's polar opposite - and is this world's Pipsqueak's ACTUAL big sister.
3085767 ...By God... That's better than what I was originally going to do...
This.
Yes.
Will track.
Uh, you do know that the FBC got taken down long ago, right?
3085823 WHOA! Flagstar Bancorp Inc is gone?!
any chance anyone knows what Pip looks like in our world? or that world? not sure exactly, going to guess some other earth considering peoples skins are freakin Technicolor as well.
3085848
No.
The group to which you just added your story not so long ago: The Featured Box Crusaders.
3085945 Oh... Well that's not news.
OMG hilarity will ensue in a very epic way as always
Going after steak?........ I'm on board for this.
I can't wait for Pip to ask what steak's made of. After trying it of course.
when Luna realizes Pip never went "night-night" she is gonna freak
3085805
Then why not use it?
Brother-sister bonding over steak. That's what you get when you mix d'aww with awesome.
3086452 D'aaaawsome?
Dear God Flinx has done it again.
Lars cancels Breathe; Laughing too hard.
Dear God he's done it again! More please.
Your Sunset Shimmer continues to amuse me. Keep up the good work!
3086743
Oh god. That line. Brings back amazing memories of DF for me.
I suppose 3 years in the human world would do that. Though you think she realizes that taking what you want tends to consequences in the long run. Guess she's not all that smart. Also, you;d think she realize the physiological rammifications and the the fact that an herbovirous species would be unable to process meat. Or she just doesn;t care.
Though seeing Alt-Discord, Alt-Chrysalis, and the others would be a riot.
(I imagine Discord could be a former principal, Chrysalis... maybe the assistant to the intendent or something with Sunset and Pip being students...)
3087920 It's a comedy
. If you want logic and actual sense as well as exact character portrayals, go read a serious story of mine.
Dawwww what a great deception. Queeny must be so proud of her little son.
Hilsome! Awarious! Eh you know what I mean.
Yesssss.
Let the power of murder-flesh flow through you.
Gain strength from it, and seek to acquire more.
Share its decadence with those you deem worthy, and spread the glory of MEAT to the farthest reaches of the Earth!
3090520 Your avatar works so well with those words...
YES, master! I shall spread the glory of meat throughout the multiverse! No vegans shall remain!
This is Sonata Dusk and tacos on overdrive.
I really can't wait for the day I can plant a bacon tree in my backyard.
Finally getting around to read that, seems good so far.
... Wait, don't griffons eat meat?