• Published 21st Aug 2013
  • 5,532 Views, 331 Comments

Synthetic - Not Luna

In an HiE, what happens after the humans’ story seemingly ends? What happens after years have gone by and everyone save for his wife has forgotten him? In the future, anything is possible... Luna is not about to let death part them any longer.

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Ch2: Back In Black

Only to close it seconds later with an embarrassed blush when he realized he only had his boxers on. He decided on a whim what to wear that day. Walking over to the chest of drawers, he picked out his attire for the day: a pair of dark blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt, a faux leather belt, and his boots. On the way out he grabbed his signature Cold war era West German army coat with the fur lining detached for warmer weather. This thing had been with him for ages, ever since he was in 8th grade and the coat almost touched the ground and the sleeves went past his hands by about half a foot. It was worn, battered, and torn in some places, but that’s nothing Rarity can't fix right?


Because she “Simply will not waste my talent on such a horrendous piece of filth!”…that is until she got a royal edict from Luna saying “FIX THIS DAMNABLE PIECE OF CLOTHING! HE WON'T STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!”

Chuckling at the memory/dream he went into the main library from where the guest bedroom connected to it. He took a moment to marvel at the amount of books that had accumulated on the shelves in the years the library has been open, before resting his eyes on the lavender unicorn laying on a cushion in the corner of the room reading a book out loud... again.

“Twilight?” he called out to her only just now noticing that she was a unicorn and not an alicorn.

For some odd reason the thought disappeared as soon as it was formed.

When she heard her name she turned around to address the one who called her. She smiled widely at the sight of her human friend and responded “Oh! Jacob! You're awake!”

She trotted over to the bookshelf and slid the book back into place before turning to him once more. “I thought I would let you sleep in late today to make sure you had enough energy for tonight.”


What was tonight? He decided to voice his thoughts to her.

To that, she got a confused look on her face saying “Don't tell me you've already forgotten?! Tonight’s the Grand Galloping Gala, the first one i get to attend with my friends!”

Puzzled could not even begin to describe what he felt. “Now wait just a cotton pickin’ minute! Tonight is the Gala? But that already happened! That’s where I met Luna!

At this thought he immediately said “Twilight. Where is Luna?”

She got an even more confused look on her face after that. “You meant Princess Luna? No she doesn't visit small villages like this. We're a self sustaining community and we don't need much interference with the government.”

He furrowed his brow at this response. Where was his wife? Why was he at Twilights’ instead of his room at the castle? What is going on?

“Twilight” he said cautiously. “Where is Luna? Where is my wife?” He finished with a small amount of concern and anger. He was normally a very patient and rational man, but when his family is put in potential danger, you can bet he will show why the human race evolved from predators.

Albeit very brief, Twilight had a small bit of worry painted on her face before reverting to an incredulous and “this guy belongs in a nut-house” look. “Jacob, I don't know what kind of dream you had, but Princess Luna is not your wife.”

He paused. Then his face contorted into complete and utter rage! He could feel the anger welling up inside of him like a dam that has been backed up and the reservoir is flowing over! She had the gall to renounce his marriage?! As if it never happened?! SHE WAS A BRIDES MAID FOR FUCKS SAKE!

“Well then how do you explain th-...”

He stopped, dead, mid sentence as he gazed upon his left ring finger.

It was gone…

His wedding ring was gone!

The beautiful onyx, obsidian, and diamond ring he had to represent his love was gone!

She could see him start to hyperventilate and put a hoof onto his shoulder. “Jacob! Calm down, it was just a dream. A very real and vivid dream and nothing more” she spoke in a calming, soothing voice. His anger suddenly died down to a withering ember.

Perhaps it was all just a dream” he thought with a depressed sigh. “Perhaps I didn't find the love of my life and live happily ever after.

Seeing the look on his face and the forming tears in his eyes she offered more soothing words, flowing like cooling aloe vera lotion onto a bad burn. “I know; I get those dreams sometimes too. But you know what always helps me?” He shook his head. “Comfort food!” She trotted toward the kitchen. “And luckily for you, I stopped buy Sugercube Corner and got cinnamon rolls!”

That little devil, she knew he couldn't resist Pinkies’ cinnamon rolls!

His spirits lifted slightly, he followed Twilight into the kitchen with hope in his heart. New, exciting thoughts began to roll around in his head. “Perhaps I could relive it all again! Perhaps I could make this dream a reality! Perhaps I could-...

He stopped mid thought at the sight of something very peculiar. Sitting there, on the wall, like it owned the goddamned place... Was an electrical outlet.

Now anyplace else, this wouldn't have caught his attention. But this was Ponyville, and from what he had experienced thus far, Ponyville was essentially an Equestrian equivalent to his worlds Amish settlements, with little to no technology to be seen outside of the magically powered devices used by his friends. Only places like Canterlot or Manehatten had an electrical grid. This confused him thoroughly and got him wondering how that outlet got there. He kept that thought in his mind as he walked into the kitchen intent on asking Twilight about it.

That is, until he laid eyes on the succulent, sweet, warm, moist gifts from God Himself sitting on the table.

Sugercube Corner brand cinnamon rolls.

After that, all thoughts about the electrical outlet left his mind, replaced with images of just how he was going to ravage those rolls like the naughty little treats they were. He practically jumped into the custom made chair, designed for a bipedal such as himself, and tore into the rolls like a turkey vulture vying for a piece of carrion. “She was right; this did help with the bad dream! I can't even remember what it was about!” he thought still absolutely destroying the frosting covered pieces of dough.

After Jacob was finished, he let out a large belch that would put Rainbow to shame and slumped into his chair, utterly satisfied.

“I take it you enjoyed that?” she said with a know-it-all smirk.

He grunted in response, his thoughts clouded and muddled.

He then suddenly became focused and alert, as if something had just decided to clear his mind of the effect the rolls seemed to have on him. His thoughts went back to the outlet in the other room and the visions of the "dream" came back to him.

“Hey Twi?” he asked, getting her attention.

“Why is there an electrical outlet in the other room?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Her reaction was at first, very shocked at... something, as if she had just seen a ghost, then switched to a flash of anger, then went to a bad innocent and confused expression.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” She said with an extremely forced smile, eyes darting left to right. “She's trying to hide something” he thought, his eyes narrowing in increasing suspicion.

His mind went back to when he woke up and started to piece together all the strange things that happened this last hour in chronological order. First his senses coming back to him one by one, as if switched on, the chalky, aspirin-like, taste in his mouth, the seemingly real "dream"/memory, the electrical outlet, and finally the drug-like effects the cinnamon rolls seemed to have on him.

Something was going on here. “Twi? What's going on? I don't lie to you, now do I?” She shook her head in a defeated manner. “Good, now tell me the truth.” he said in an imploring manner.

Before she could open her mouth, a sound blared throughout the library that sounded something like a klaxon alarm.

“All personnel, building security has been compromised on floors one, two, five, eleven, and twenty-six. Threat assessment level: Red. Hostiles confirmed armed and dangerous. Please proceed to the nearest exit. All personnel,-” a disembodied voice rung out everywhere. Jacob swung his head around in total shock at what is happening around him.

“Twi?” he said in an extremely concerned and frightened tone, slowly turning his head back to where she was sitting.

Only to find she just bolted out the door leading to the backyard. He followed her outside, only to discover it was not outside, or Ponyville for that matter.

He looked around what appeared to be a movie set with a replica Golden Oaks Library in the middle. Ponies were scrambling about trying to escape the threat previously mentioned, some getting lightly trampled. Other ponies were rushing out the door wearing what he believed to be ballistic vests and helmets, carrying rifles and handguns.

Well hoofguns anyway.

He was about to go and see what the threat was when an all too familiar voice rung out behind him. “Command override 2254-Bravo-86-Mike-Sierra-Tango, Password: I love you.” Before he could even turn around to greet her, his muscles seized up and he turned around, not of his own accord, with a sharp and crisp salute.

“Awaiting orders Princess Luna” he said in an emotionless, flat, and slightly distorted voice.

It was then that he got a good look at her.

She was taller.

Much taller.

She looked like a blue version of Celestia, standing eye level with him. Her mane was no longer a swirling mass of stars one might see in the night sky. It was now a moving picture of something you might find in NASA Hubble Telescope files. A moving mass of nebulae, stars in arrangements he couldn't even fathom, the occasional meteor streaking across, and soooooooo many colors. Colors he didn't even recognize!

She was older.

The reason why eluded him in the heat of the moment. “Move through the building and eliminate any hostiles with extreme prejudice starting from the top floor. Salazar, mark friendlies and hostiles on his HUD.. And shut down your sub-conscious, I don't want you to have to see any of this before you are ready. I'll be with you soon to explain all of this when you come out, love. Dismissed” She then kissed him on the cheek as he started to fade into some kind of induced pseudo-sleep.

The last thing he saw before drifting off was an all too familiar tear-stained face.


Jacob came back to reality instantly, like someone switched on a TV.

The first thing he noticed was that there was a changeling impaled in some kind of sword thing coming from his left palm.

The second thing he noticed were the copious amounts of blood, gore, shell casings, and bodies of various species native to Equus, littering what looked like it used to be a fairly big lobby of a rich company.

He shook the corpse off of his hand...thing and looked for anything that might point him to where he was and how in the hell he got there.

Then he turned around after hearing a ding noise, and found Luna and Twilight stepping out of what looked like an elevator. They didn't seem at all phased by the carnage surrounding them and on Jacob himself.

Luna picked up the pace slowly until she was galloping full speed at him, then as soon as she was within distance; she tacked him to the ground and locked lips with him.


"This feels sooooo good!", she thought still attacking his face with hers. After centuries upon centuries upon centuries of being lonely, and depraved, and unloved, and neglected, and more sad words, she felt like she was on top of the fucking world! Every day, going to the laboratory and seeing what they were creating, perverting his image with deadly weaponry and dangerous prototypes.

She didn't want him to be this way, but it was the only way to get her husband back and sate Celestias’ wishes.


After a few minutes of this, they broke apart. Jacob felt like the kiss wasn't as tender and loving as the others he had experienced. This one had a…desperate quality to it, like she had been deprived of a drug for a long time and just got her hooves on a fresh batch. He wondered what could make her act this way before Twilight spoke up and provided the answer.

“Jacob,” she said, her voice filled with worry and anxiety. “Welcome to the future!” followed by a nervous, wide smile.


He passed the hell out.