• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Alphamon_Ouryuken


"I am the Aloof Hermit, the Lord of the Empty Seat. I am the Alpha and the Omega"

Comments ( 70 )

how is this romance?

Comment posted by Giovani424 deleted Sep 25th, 2013

Dood... I read I think a few lines...then I skimmed to the bottom to see the ending... Please turn that Romance tag into a Dark Tag, please, dood.

Comment posted by Ron_Gamer deleted Sep 25th, 2013
Comment posted by Recteik Shade deleted Sep 25th, 2013
Comment posted by Bambisbb deleted Sep 25th, 2013

So...romance tag?

Comment posted by ThunderCracker deleted Sep 25th, 2013

this is not romance its comedic orgy super orgasmic fun time with total gang bang or as pinkie would say cosofwtgb

Comment posted by Twilight Best Pony deleted Sep 25th, 2013
Comment posted by John The Dragon deleted Sep 25th, 2013
Comment posted by Twilight Best Pony deleted Sep 25th, 2013

This is not a romance story and its impossible to do that with hypnosis. The patient has to be willing to be hypnotized for it to work. :rainbowkiss:

Comment posted by iamli3 deleted Sep 25th, 2013
Comment posted by Maeroon deleted Sep 25th, 2013

No futa spike? :fluttershysad:

Romance, Schmomance.

I'm really torn up between upvoting and downvoting. It's good clopping material, but the "Romance" tag is wrong.

3096897
You knew what it was, the warning was in the description, no one forced you to read it.

3097504 Welll if you are going to change things for us, dood... turn Twilight into a futa and make Trixie, Lightning and Sunset lose their dicks then I'll be happy...not sure about everyone else, dood.

3097511

....you did read the whole story right?

3097516 I think I said what I read prior...and came to the conclusion that Lightning Dust, Sunset SHimmer, and Trixie were Futa and they plan on raping Twilight then letting the entire student body do the same to her as a 'initiation'... I think, dood.

What I asked for was a long shot anyways, dood.:twilightblush:

3097521

.....I can't spoil anything, just take your time and read the whole thing.

3097539 I'd rather not... since my brain likes to hit emergency shut downs which cause me to do jack all for a moment when it attempts to register TwiArmor, Spilight, and FutaPonyxTwilight, dood.

I am a very picky prinny, dood. Have a nice day!

Trixie moaned loudly as she rammed her cock into Twilight's tight mouth, pushing deeper into her daughter with each thrust. That little excerpt right there has me believing this be a troll fic. :ajsmug:

The bad grammar and ridiculous plot, not to mention the fact that you just mixed Equestria Girls with La Blue Girl. It almost seems if you were intentionally trying to get dislikes. I could be wrong and have been wrong before but since when is Trixie, Twilight's mother? :derpytongue2:

3097774 I changed it, thanks for catching that.....:twilightblush:

Originally the story was going to involve Twilight testing out a new spell on her mother, but then I decided to change it something EG related at the last moment.....sorry for the confusion.:fluttercry:

3097843 Well just between you and me and whoever decides to read these comments what the hell were you aiming for?

3097914

I was aiming for something futa-related in the Equestria Girls setting. What's the big deal?

3097925

No problem but the story wasn't immersing me with the mistakes, and technical problems.

Also there was no explanation as to Trixie and Lightning Dust being in Equestria girls realm. It just seemed like you just piled on "villains" for the sake of the rape scene.

3097929 It wasn't the same Trixie and Lightning Dust from the ponyverse, I just had their human counterparts replace Snips & Snails as Sunset Shimmers minions.

.....can we continue this conversation via PM?

3097843

...ugh, you shouldn't change a fic so dramatically last moment :facehoof:
The concept is good, and god knows we need more Sunset/Twilight MC, but this just feels wild
A decent story that could use some cleaning
And sequels once the issues are resolved

3097504 wait u rewrote the while story!? Seems a tad drastic but ur story

3097510 read what?...

3096088>>3096129 Trixie is involved and she's raping Twilight... How can it not be romance.:trixieshiftright:

The great and Powerful Trixie must break her lovers before she can keep them on a permanent basis.:trixieshiftleft:

Initial reaction: "Twilight Sex? I Could never read this."
*Reads Description*
"Futa? I'm in"

Comment posted by The Lunar Rebel deleted Oct 2nd, 2013

What. The. Fuck. I'm confused, what is life? Why is life? Why did I read the whole thing? :twilightoops:

Comment posted by RedAngelz23 deleted Sep 25th, 2013

I for one liked this story :scootangel:. I liked seeing these 3 together, and I you gave us a good story to clop to. You did a good job writing it out. What was going on was funny, weird and dark. Some of the other readers reactions though is pretty funny :twilightsmile:

This was bad and not because of the premise (I like rape and futa), but because of the execution. The grammar and spelling is middle school level and there's a serious issue with telling vs. showing. There is little to no detail and the little bit that that read (about 1/3) was riddled with errors and "Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Fuck! Cum! Shit! Ass!" which is not a good thing.

First thing's first: Get a goddamn editor before you post anything, especially when you have such a poor handle on the English language.

Secondly: Work on the description. We have a rudimentary sense of what's going on and, in a clopfic, that's a bad thing. As many have said before me across the site, detail is what drives fiction, especially clopfiction. Without detail, all we get is bland 'meh' and dumb noises.

Kweh: Get a goddamn editor.

Comment posted by Lewd Yoshi deleted Jan 11th, 2014

3142486 If you don't like it, don't read it. I hate it when people like you just downright bash a person's creative imagination. And you telling them to get an editor is not constructive criticism.

This was a good story. I especially liked how you not only had Sunset Shimmer, but Trixie as well. Talk about a tag team of egos. Keep up the good work.

3173505 How the fuck was I bashing his creative imagination? I told him I liked what he wanted to do with it, but did not like how he did it. How the fuck is it not constructive criticism? I told him exactly what was wrong with the story and told him what he could do to fix it. I am not his editor and there were too many mistakes to go through and list each and every one to feed your pansy little sense of righteousness. The fuck do you even know about providing feedback? All you said was 'This was a good story.' which does nothing for him. Now, to you, good sir: 'Fuck off'.

3173505
Telling someone who needs an editor to get an editor is about as constructive as criticism gets, provided they get a goddamn editor.

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