• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

Saphroneth


T

The story of the newly promoted Admiral Twilight Sparkle, and her first command. A fusion fic with various science fiction series by David Weber, principally but not only the Honor Harrington books.
Cover image from Kampzvono on Deviantart, used with permission.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 78 )

Excuse me for a moment... *clears throat* SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! You ponified the Honorverse, you ponified the Honorverse! As a Honor Harrington fan I am very much impressed at what you have done so far, not just for incorporating the technologies of the Honorverse but also putting together a star faring Equestria.

So Trixie is a marine, Fluttershy is the TacO, Rarity is the CO... not exactly positions I would have though for them but what the hell. As an Honorverse fan I expect good things for this fic.

In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,
Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon

Pretty entertaining! I'm a big Honor fan, actually, and while generally I dislike ponification of other universes/concepts, you've spun enough unique detail into this that it doesn't feel like carbon-copy Honorverse stuff. How long did it take you to slot the Mane cast (and assorted BG ponies) into the command positions?

So... Why is Rainbow Dash a colonel? That isn't a naval rank, it's an army/marine rank.

Other than that question, I love it so far. It captures a lot of the feel of Weber and the Honorverse. The refits reminded me of what Horrible Hemhil did to make the Wayfarer, even if Applejack thought it was like what happened to the Fearless.

>With a great flare of transfer energy, coruscating “wings” of force hundreds of kilometres across heralded the arrival in system of TMS Harmony. The light
>from the wings shaded from violet to blue, to yellow, and finally faded away as a deep red.

I can already tell I'm going to like this.

>“I’ve never beaten Storm Wing.”
Screw Captain Storm Wing.

253209 ...Actually, it took something like ten minutes to put all the Mane Six, Mac, Whooves, Lyra, Trixie, Spike and Derpy into their slots. That was some gooood inspiration.

253593 Indeed.
I suppose I should have given credit, but I forgot to.
(As a side note, I am completely out of pegasus names.)

253521 This tradition is one I encountered in The Apocalypse Troll, a Weber one-off - the fighter pilots in that use army officer ranks. Part of my cunning plan to reference as many Weber books as possible...
Besides, there's enough captains on Harmony already.

252743 As I explore in my other fic, Another Kind of Magic, I think Trixie's style of magic works well in a battle-magic role. So I've had her as one in both cases.
I also like the idea of her and Twilight being friends. Not "eventually-after-angst" friends, not shipped... just friends.
Glad you like it.

253899
I see... perhaps a combined rank/position title. Something with more dignity than Commanding Officer, Wing.:rainbowlaugh:

(I haven't read Apocalypse Troll, but I think I have it in Kindle format on my phone. Still, any chance we'll see a reference to the Ring of Fire or Bazhell books?)

Also related, there's a new Bazhell book, check the Baen webpage.

253991 Sadly AJ has the wrong type of accent for Bazhell's, which would have been a nice subtle ref. Likewise, Ring of Fire is a hard one to do as it's historical.
I think I have something of an idea, though... it'll be subtle, mind...

Sure is Weber in here. I approve greatly.

254804 It's good to know it has the right kind of flavour.

I was fooled by Dash's situation actually. This is Honorverse-But-Ponies, and People Die In Honorverse. The Battle of Manticore springs to mind.

254865 It's Weber-But-Ponies since it's not only Honorverse, but yes. (Could even be Baen-But-Ponies, since the Gryphon Legions are based off Hammer's Slammers...) Good to know it was sufficiently convincing - certainly the crew of Harmony are going to believe it until shown otherwise.

I enjoyed the fight scene, it put's me in mind of the one from Crucible of the Empire, of the Jao Empire series by Eric. Flint

262294 I don't think I've read that one in a while. This engagement was modelled more on Honorverse battles, with the interposed impeller wedges and so on. Though there isn't a specifically equivalent battle in Honorverse canon that I know of, because the off-bore firing capacity and Apollo (Athena here) came well after the advent of the missile pod.

262778 I've never read the Honorverse stories, but they sound like the kind of Sci-Fi stories me and my Dad would really enjoy.

I enjoy how in-depth and detailed you are in this story. It makes it a very enjoyable read for a Sci-Fi guy like myself. Have you considered trying to mesh some tactics and techniques from other Science fiction stories into your own? For example the Sins of a Solar Empire series, there's a really good story about that here on FimFcition Friends of a Solar Empire.

Also you have inspired me to get off my buttock(No-one says this word often enough) and write a Sci-Fi Pony fic.

262850
Pro Tip: this has almost all the Honorverse books so far as free ebooks. http://baencd.thefifthimperium.com/22-MissionofHonorCD/MissionofHonorCD/
BaenCD is awesome. This particular link also has other Weber stories, such as his one-offs "The Apocalypse Troll" and "In fury Born" which are both good, as well as the Empire from the Ashes which is similarly good. The baencd.thefifthimperium.com top level page has links to other Baen CDs, and hence a lot more intelligent sci fi and fantasy.
A common Baen trick (especially a David Weber trick) is to model the tactics and terminology of a space setting around the available methods of propulsion. In the In Fury Born universe, ships use black holes to "pull" themselves through space - so the black holes are also the ship's first line of defence via "eating" missiles. In the Honor Harrington books, the ship Impeller Wedges enforce broadside-to-broadside combat and are enormous shields.

I'm not taking so much from other science fiction fan stories, no. Similarly to my non-pony fics, I try to set things up so that I know what the menu of choices is, and then plan out move and counter-move. It's especially important in the next couple of chapters, which are ground warfare. Essentially, I read so much mil-sci-fi that if I steal small bits from each source, it becomes original. Bit like being a "real" author...

The Sonic Rainboom scene was indeed awesome! :D

Fun chapter, I look forward to more.

NHO

Huh. I thought that buckyball antimatter is from Schlock. Fun chapter.

312437 I think Ringo mil-sci-fi'ed it (since it's a legit idea) first - there's antimatter in a fullerene matrix in Kevyn's epaulette grenades, if that's what you're thinking of, but Hell's Faire (where the hell-weapon is used, and basically plasters Tennessee in nuclear fire) came out in 2003, which is at least a year before the Pranger's Bangers storyline. (Hell, on a check, the John Ringo book predates the mention of the word "antimatter" in Schlock Mercenary at all.)
Glad you liked it. I do like hearing comments from people, especially on this one as I was worried the Rainboom was a hard act to follow.

ah good to see you got this up on here... and I'm happy to see the link to the model I did for you posted here too. I've started work on the fighter now, but it's slow cause of college at the moment

322910 Okay, thanks. Seriously, this is really nice of you and I can hardly get annoyed if it takes a while - I mean, you're doing it gratis.
Feel free to ask for clarification on anything, though if I don't respond at first that's probably because the notification system to my email account is acting up a bit.

323002 no problem, I've been needing to brush up on my model making skills so it's a plus for me, though i doubt I'll touch the mechs... those have always been iffy for me if I don't take an extremely unreasonable amount of time for them.

323647 Fair enough. The BOLOverse is inconsistent and vague what their armoured vehicles look like anyway - and they've never shown a Melconian war machine on the cover of any book, to boot.

253593 Strange thing. I just had the fic (well, he got as far as the bit with Blueblood...) proofread, and apparently that first line isn't really an intro - not a good hook.
But then, it clearly worked for you... I don't know what to think... :derpytongue2:

Shetland how did I miss that:facehoof:

936991 Hee. It's because of how sci fi stories by Weber tend to imitate the Marines' Parris island, in places like Saganami. So I thought I'd make the entire naval officer cast into Shetland Ponies.

Good to see my encouragement was enough to get you to post the last chapter of this up Saph.

TheStarsAbove

987558 Yeah, I was a bit indecisive over that last chapter... How does it come across?

987670
Quite well in my opinion. It closes off nicely, but also leaves the story with the ability to be expanded upon if so desired.

988058 I've actually got some scenes thought out for the Bellevue Incident already. It'll be a while before I get writing, though...

I can't believe i didn't find this until now.

Well done, getting a "weber-verse" feel while still keeping with main feel of the MLP characters...

Have a thumbs up and a fav!

1046302 Thanks. I had a hard time with some of it (killing off Caramel, for instance) but the whole Dash plot thread just clicked, from plasma cannon shot to Rainboom.
Did you happen to notice the ship tac officer? She'll go far. I wouldn't be surprised to see her as Admiral of the Fleet and Duchess herself.

“Hi, my fighter broke down. Can I use your phone?”

Pure comedy water. Water=Better than platinum=better than gold.

1060899
Thanks. I thought it was exactly the kind of thing someone might say in that situation. It's Dash, after all, she's spent hours thinking about the best possible line to use.

Hmm. Ponies need Bolo 67209482 SHV. Mark 33, aka 'Shiva'. And then pinkie will throw a "50 megatons of fun!" party, knowing her. Wonder how a bolo would react to pinkie. Probably, what the fuck.

2127454
...does this have much relevance to Harry Potter? I mean, Bolos are cool and all, but...

2127958 Wut? Harry potter in space? I was suggesting something to implement in the next few parts of this, imagine pinkie pie with complete control over a object that has been described as a planetary siege weapon. Oops, there goes the planet. Oh well, it was empty anyway.

2128015
...damn it.
Sorry.
I'm so used to getting comments on my more recent Harry Potter crossover I completely missed that this was on Ponies in Space.

And sadly AI tech isn't up to Boloverse level AIs in this fic, but certainly it's up to the firepower level... for Diamond Dogs. Those are Surturs and Fenrises in there.

2128015 Oh, and "Planetary Siege" in Boloverse doesn't mean "can destroy the planet". Only a Melconian World Burner can do that, that we know of. Planetary Siege means "can fight heavy firepower battles on a planetary scale".
The hellbores of a Mark 33 are like being hit by an H-bomb. They're nowhere NEAR the firepower to destroy a planet.

For reference, the tactical doctrine of the Ponies tends to rely much less on superheavy vehicles, and more on dispersed stationary guns, as Mac did. He did, after all, fight off a "siege" brigade with a Marine brigade (and Marines are light infantry). Pony heavy infantry is a lot nastier.

2128108 Maybe ponies are based on grayson tactics? I am getting a very Grayson vibe from them, with the sexism against males instead of females.

2128332 Not really. Ground-wise, they have a mix of techs from various Baen series with an emphasis on the immobile, but it's not specifically Grayson. In fact, there's a slight sense of the militia from "Old Soldiers" in the Boloverse - the ones with the blocking position. And space-wise, they're modelled on Manticore as much as anything. (Their techs are a bit screwy from the book perspective, which is deliberate - they have Apollo and off-bore but no pods, MDMs or FTL - since I wanted to write a partly unique tactical situation. And the shields are Boloverse, not Honorverse)
Culturally, there's no sexism - just mathematical bias because of differential birth rates, meaning that the majority of positions are held by females. (It's how I got the whole main cast into one ship). Male captains are perfectly fine, though, and Pokey Pierce and Silver Star both skipper DNs in Sixth Fleet - and the male pegasus Storm Wing is acknowledged as the best tactician in the Principality and Commonwealth.

313009
This. I like this. My personal opinion is that you've managed to not combine, per se, all the sci-fi genres you've listed, but by taking certain tech and ideas from each you've integrated them into a story your readers can be intimately familiar with. You also did this without over complicating your story line or over doing the techno babble speak. Impressive, most impressive.:moustache:

As for topping Rainbow Dash's clearing the class V hurricane via the use of a rainboom I'd have to go with Luna getting a bee under her saddle over the Diamond Dogs performing an act so heinous, I'm thinking performing one of those german epic operas in D flat, she'd start throwing planets around in a fit of extreme pique. I'm seeing this face before all Tartarus breaks out.

twentypercentcooler.net/data/sample/1e/db/1edbe733c41f0aaaa21ec19474967361.jpg?1358202747

2271450
It's officially deniable and the work of a single lord acting independently. He wanted to present it as a fait accompli, and probably has a fall back position where the commander of the force was acting independently. Major diplomatic incident with HIM, but not the Khanate as a whole.

2271450
And I'm glad you think I did well. Sadly, Equestria Daily didn't... (I have a blog post about that a few back, it burned me and I'm not all that inclined to try submitting a fic there again...)

You have one with Honor Harrington too?
...Not many people can produce this much awesome. I'm impressed.

P.S.: SPAAAACE.

2368933
Seen my fanfiction.net account? I have other stuff!
The big ones, by which I mean the ones longer than about 25K and/or with TVTropes recs, are:
Pokemon time travel comedy
Naruto semi-crack fic
Lord of the Rings with Breechloading Rifles (serious fic)
How To Train Your Dragon time loops
And, finally, Awesome Gendo (in which Gendo Ikari is awesome). That's purest crackfic.

Well, you got me there with Rainbow Dash; but in all fairness: A main character being killed without warning is one of the most believeable ways to do it. But now I am kind of torn, because it would have had so much potential, regardless of how much I like RD...:rainbowderp:

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