• Published 18th Aug 2013
  • 2,851 Views, 10 Comments

Joker-Emperor of Equestria - jidbrony



What happens when the Clown Prince of Crime steals the powers of the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. Joker rules the multivariate!

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Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chaos, that was the situation in the Cloudsdale weather factory, Discord's so called little harmless prank has caused nothing but trouble rain clouds were made of cotton candy clouds and the rain it produced was chocolate. The workers in the factory tried there best to keep the mess confined to the factory catching as many of clouds that tried to escape. Twilight Sparke was frantically going over as many books as she could to find a reversal spell.

"Oh, I hope Rainbowdash comes soon." Twilight said starting to sweet from all the stress she was going though, a moment later Rainbowdash came looking stubborn as ever.

"Well?" Twilight asked.

"Well what." Rainbowdash asked sounding annoyed.

"Did you bring him?" Twilight asked

"No! We don't need his help." Rainbowdash said sounding defiant. Twilight merely become more infuriated.

"Of course we need his help, he caused this, he should fix....oh for the love of... Discord get up here!"

In a flash of light the Spirit of Chaos floating on his back with sunglasses and a tan razor. "Great just when I was finally starting to get a tan." Discord then looked up to see Twilight Sparkle glaring at him. "You called Mon Princess."

"Fix this Discord!" Twilight snapped angrily.

"Who me, but I thought don't want my help." he glared back to Rainbowdash she merely glared back at him, the two were in lock glares with on another.

"DISCORD! RAINBOWDASH, STOP!" Twilight yelled out to both of them, she then took a deep breath. "We need to focus on the problem at hand please. Now Discord please fix the weather machine."

"Okay...fine. But I just want the record to know Rainbowdash started it"

"Did not." Rainbowdash retored.

"Did to."

"Did not"

"Did to"

"Did not infinity."

"STOP!" Twilight screamed

Discord merely rolled his eyes as he snapped his fingers and in a flash of light fixing the weather machine and clearing up the mess it made. "There happy."

"Very." Twilight said finally calming down. "Thank you Discord."

"Fine, whatever, you people can't appreciate a good prank though when you see one." Discord then vanished in a flash of light leaving Twilight and Rainbowdash to clean up whatever Discord forget to.

Twilight started to decompress as Rainbowdash just continued to fly around muttering to her self.

"What's wrong Rainbow?" Twilight asked sounding concerned.

"Discord! I still don't get why the Princess let him out. He says he's changed but he's still annoying as ever."

"Well, I know he can be troublesome at times but Princess Celestia hasn't seen any reason to put him back into stone, and also not to mention he seems to have a good friend in Fluttershy." Twilight tried to reason with her friend but it wasn't working.

"Please, Fluttershy, well...for lack of the better word is naive, she can get doped easily."

"Rainbowdash!" Twilight condoned.

"I'm sorry, Twilight but that's the way she is, she's been like that since we were fillies. She thinks Discord changed... but I know he hasn't. Trust me Twilight there no one worse in Equestria than Discord.


**********
In the depths of the Everfree forest it remained calm and peaceful, but that peace was stopped but a pack of timberwolves who were lit on fire howling in pain and agony.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Joker clacked as he emerged from the woods carrying a flame thrower. "What's wrong can't take the heat. HEHEHEHE!" Joker then turns to face the reader. "Your probably wondering were I got this flame thrower from...well, lets just say, you'd be surprised how much I can fit in my pockets at any given time, HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE!" Joker then takes out a grenade. "Come on wooden doggies, fetch." he throws the grenade at the timber wolves causing a few of them to explode while the rest run away in agony.

"HAHA! Well that's was fun, but to bad there are no creatures that can talk, that way I can get the here them whimper for mercy, HEHE!" Then from the distance he could here some soft humming sound. Joker on a whim decided to follow it hoping to have some more fun along the way, he continued to follow the humming sound until he came out of the forest and into a small meadow area were a small cottage lied. Joker hiding behind the trees noticed a yellow Pegasus surrounded by a bunch of animals and they appeared to be gardening.

"Well, hello Snow White rip-off." Joker said to himself giggling a bit at his joke. He then heard the Pegasus speak.

"Come on my little friends lunch time." she said in a soft kind voice. Joker looked amazed.

"They can talk. First dragons now talking flying mulls, oh I knew this world would be fun! Oh can things get any..." but before he could finish his sentence the Joker saw a flash of light a strange looking creature emerge. "What kind of freak show painting are you." Joker listened in.

"Oh, your back Discord, perhaps you could me with some of the gardening around here, we have to make sure that all the animals have good food to eat especially before winter comes in a few months."

"Well why didn't you say so. Here." Discord snapped his fingers and then giant fruits and vegetables appeared out of no-where accidently falling of Fluttershy's cottage. From a distance the Joker couldn't help but giggle with joy at nonsensical destruction.

Discord looked a little embarrassed. "Oops...Sorry!"

"What! No, what are you doing man don't apologize laugh in her face, then summon a giant anvil and squash her till she bleeds!" Joker muttered to himself. "Great another goody to-shoes hero." Joker continued to listen in to the conversation but was starting to feel dissapointed.

"Discord, what did I say about using your powers." Fluttershy scolded.

"What! This is easier, instead of just growing the food, just summon it and enlarge it full blast. Beside my chaotic powers give it a little kick."

Joker then heard the words "Chaotic Powers" and that's when things started to get very interesting.

"Discord you've given me magically conjured fruit and...it's not that good." Fluttershy admitted to his friend.
"Besides." Discord said defending himself to Fluttershy. "This whole idea of a snowy winter is boring anyway, I still think Celestia should have gone with my idea of the clouds snowing pop-corn, that's far more delicious in my opinion. Back in my day when I was in charge I used to make the cotton candy clouds snow kettle corn every Thursday not to mention back in my day the river was made of soda-pop and not boring old water, boy I remember the sugar rush you ponies had." Discord started laughing to himself "Ah...those were days."

Joker couldn't believe what he was hearing. "This guy is....a IDIOT!" Joker then began to fume with rage. "He claims to have all this so called Chaotic powers and yet it goes to worthless aims of soda-pop rives and cotton clouds! Were the A-material, the joy of burning down a city and watching all the children scream as they watch there mommies and daddies burn before them. The sweet sensation as you stick a knife to someone's throat and threaten to slit it only to later just shoot them in the head. Now if I had those powers I'd...." then an Idea popped into his head. "If I had those powers....hm." Joker then slowly begins to think analyzing everything that he had heard from this conversation, then he heard more talking coming from the cottage.

"Oh, I just remembered Princess Twilight invited me to her house for tea with Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Would you like to come Discord."

"Nah, that's sounds boring, beside I'd rather be trapped in stone for another thousand years that sit around and listen to Twilight talk about the joy of germ particles like she did last time I was there."

"Well...Okay then, I'll be at the Tree Library then if you change your mind." Fluttershy said as she began to walk off leaving Discord to clean up the mess he caused with the giant fruits.

Joker continuing to hide in the bushes gives his classic Joker grin. "Library eh, well those Public Service Announcements say to always support your local library, best if I do my civic duty, HEHE!"

******
Ponyville a small little village but kind and peaceful, but not for long as the Joker had managed to arrive as he was following Fluttershy to Twilight's home. The Joker continuing to hide from Pony eyes looks at the town seeming very unimpressed. "Meh, it's not Gotham but I'm sure I'll have some fun here."

Joker then slowly began to sneak around town avoiding as many Ponies as he possibly could in the middle of broad daylight. "HAHA! Batman got nothing on me." Joker finally found the yellow Pegasus again as she entered into a large Tree with a door and windows in it, he closed himself into one of the windows and using a doctors stethoscope started to listen in on the Ponies convesration.

*******
"Ah Fluttershy you made it." Twilight said, as Fluttershy entered the room.

"Hi girls." Fluttershy said taking a seat at the table that had a few cups of lovely tea prepared. She then notices Rainbowdash is here as well. "Rainbowdash I though you were busy fixing the weather machine Dis..." Fluttershy stopped herself looking a little ashamed.

"Well, thankfully your friend fixed it. Some friend though now were going to be days behind schedule before the winter snow storm comes." Rainbowdash then started muttering to herself.

"Oh Dashie, you he's really trying to be good, besides perhaps he could help make some clouds, he magic can do that right." Fluttershy said trying to defend Discord.

"Yeah! If those clouds were made of cotton candy and drizzled rain. Look Fluttershy he's more harmful then helpful."

"I have to agree darling, he's becoming worst than my sister in the field of helping, last week, Discord wanted to help me with the fashion designs, lets just say...it was, unpleasant." Rarity said shuttering at the thought of horrible fashion.

"Not to mention the week before were he tried to help, me organize my library books by how boring each book was." Twilight said sounding annoyed.

"He means well." Fluttershy said

"No he doesn't Fluttershy he nothing but trouble, and you know it." Rainbowdash blurted out.

"Well Discord helped me fine last week when he wanted to help me make a cake for a party." Pinkie Pie said.

"See." Fluttershy said pointing to Pinkie's example.

"Although... the cake did explode a few times and we got covered in dough, but it was still fun." Pinkie Pie then gave a smile.

"See." Rainbowdash said to Fluttershy. "He's not helpful at all, he just a nuisance, him and those powers of his."

****
Back outside the Joker continued to listen to the Ponies little dispute. "Well, now this is interesting but I still need a wider selection." The Joker then dig into his pockets and pulled out some of his cheap novelty chatter explosive teeth and throws them onto the grassy ground as they begin to chatter away into the town. "Let the fireworks show begin, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!."

****
"Come on girls lets stop arguing now, and enjoy some of this lovely tea me and Spike made." Twilight said.

"Were is my little Spiky Wiky." Rarity asked looking around.

"He went to the market to buy some extra food." Twilight said as she began to poor the tea, but before the tea hit the cup a loud explosion came from outside shocking everyone.

"WHAT THE!" Rainbowdash said seeming shaken. The Ponies then galloped outside to see a bunch of chattering teeth jittering there way around Ponyville only to explode a few seconds latter.

"What are they?" Rainbowdash asked looking confused.

"There novelty teeth." Pinkie Pie explained. "I have some myself back home, but mine don't explode."

"The more important question is were did they come from?" Rarity asked as another novelty denture exploded setting fire to some of the homes.

"No time for that now girls, we have to round up as many of un-detonated bombs as possible come on will split up." Twilight said.

As the girls split up the Joker enjoying every second of the chaos and carnage around him snuck into the library hoping that the information he needed would lay inside. He then looks around the place noticing all the shelves layered with books. He then begins to go throw them one by one.

"Boring."

"Boring."

"Boring."

"I'll wait for them to make of movie about it."

Then he pulls one called Daring Doo and the Curse of the Sapphire Stone. Joker just stares at it for a few seconds. "Good thing Disney layers don't exist in this world or they sue your flank big time HAHA!." He throws away that book as well, adding to his pile of discarded books. Then he finally finds one called Equestria History of Geniuses. Joker grins. "Well I'm a genius, that's what my mother always said or was it a complete disgrace to the family, I forget HEHE!" He begins to look through the book quickly absorbing the information. "HAHA! Well now this is very interesting." Joker closes the book and claps his hands in satisfactory "Well...got what I needed." Joker then begins to mess up the library kicking down the shelves and setting fire to some of the books just for the heck of it. "HAHAHAHA! They always say it fun to read a nice book by the fire place." Joker was about to leave his classic calling card before he decided to something different. The Joke tore out a blank piece a paper from one of the books, got some scissors to shape it in the form of a card, he then found lying around and some crayons and drew a poorly looking image of Discord and hid it underneath the ruble. "A little false evidence might come in handy." With that the Joker let out a insane laugh and left the library as it began to burn to the ground laughing like a mad man as he did. As soon as he got outside he hood the high pitch voices of the ponies coming toward him Joker quickly found a hiding spot among the bushes. He was begging to run out of breath "Now...I ...know...how Batman feels, wonder how he does this sneaking around business every night."

As Twilight, Rainbowdash, Pinkie Pie Fluttershy and Rarity arrive back to the library after taking down most of the novelty bombs they saw to there horror Twilight's tree home completely destroyed and burned to the ground.

"My, my home." Twilight slowly began to tear up at the sight of her destroyed home, Rarity and Fluttershy started comfort her as Rainbowdash began to go throw the rubble. She finds nothing but ask and broken wood until then she finds a piece of paper a bit burnt but with a drawing on it. Rainbowdash looked at it as her anger began to increase ten-fold.

"Discord!" She angrily muttered to herself and then she flew off, not knowing that the Joker was watching her from afar giggling with glee and delight for everything was going according to plan.