Princess Luna
Princess Luna
Beginning Chapter
@_@ OBEY PRINCESS CELESTIA @_@
Princess Celestia stirred in bed, thinking of the latest changes in Equestria as she opened her eyes to look at the decorated sun painted on ceiling representing herself, and let out a sigh. She slowly rose up until completely sitting up, staring at the windows that showed little light, but the moon. Celestia planted her bare hoof after another on the carpet until she was completely standing and faced a heavily crafted mirror made from the finest gold in Equestria. Even without her Gold Regalia, Crown, and Aurum Hoof Cups, she appeared as a Princess with or without her attire and represented good in pony kind. As Celestia stared at herself, she spread her wings, admiring herself and thinking, ‘I used to be the only princess.’
"Everything alright sister?" Luna appeared from a shadow in the corner of the room with concern displayed on her face.
Celestia gently lowered her wings. "I'm just feeling different with all that's happened recently I never felt so..."
Luna listened intently as she stepped closer to her beloved counter-part. "You know what, Luna? Never-mind, you wouldn't understand because I don't even know what I feel." Celestia finished as she sat on her haunches with her head down. Luna followed suit next to her sister, not entirely sure on the situation.
"I know you're feeling that the world is shifting, but change happens when you least expect it, and the Princesses including myself are a part of that. Twilight, Cadence, and me, but what I'm seeing is you still used to being in control." Luna paused as she placed her hoof on the bottom of Celestia's muzzle and lifting her head up to Luna's eyes.
"I believe you're going through what I went through." Luna nuzzled Celestia's neck as she reacted back by naturally doing the same. "We all have different ways of dealing with change, and your case is no different." Luna stopped as she felt like the big sister for once, just like when they both were young fillies, and Celestia would always comfort Luna.
Luna walked to Celestia's nightstand and saw her sister's crown along with her neck piece and looked along the floor, eyeing her hoof cups. Luna put a mischievous smile on as Celestia's eyes widened, seeing Luna through the mirror. Luna levitated all of her belongings to her depressed sister sitting on the floor. Suddenly, without asking, Luna starts levitating Celestia. "HEY!!" Celestia yelped as she floated in front Luna.
As Celestia's legs dangled, Luna slid Celestia's hoof cups on one by one. "Hehehehe quit it!" Celestia couldn't help but giggle like a filly as Luna would tickle her exposed hooves until all four hooves were no longer bare. Luna gently lowered her down and as soon as she touched the ground, Luna placed Celestia's golden neck piece on which even glistened before the sun was out, but not before combing her coat where it needed to be, causing Celestia to giggle once more as Luna would often hit tickle and pleasure spots which made Celestia act like a dog panting from how good it felt.
"Luna, why must you torture me through my ticklish and soft spots?" Celestia asked with a curious smile.
"Oh Sister, because you're so weak in those spots. And if you even consider about getting me back, then I'll go for under your wings or shall I go back to your precious, sensitive and helpless hooves as I mercilessly tease them..." Celestia closed her muzzle before invoking any other weird or unusual punishment. Luna just smiled at her small victory, the advantage of being a sister to the Princess of the Sun, Luna would say.
Finally there was the crown which she levitated to her sister’s head while stopping and quickly yanking it away. Luna's smile went away. "Promise me that you will get past this somehow and we may move forward together." Celestia thought that it would be incredibly difficult and that once she made this promise it was stuck to her like a cutie mark, but if Luna could do it, why couldn't she?
Time seem to slow for Princess Celestia as she thought and focused on this problem that may have seemed small to everypony, but Celestia and Luna both knew that this wasn't something to be taken lightly. Pondering such a promise would add weight, but it was necessary weight. For if Celestia promised, it would be even more of a reason to just try and get over this bump in the road.
It had been a thirty long seconds as Celestia watched the crown floating in front of her muzzle, seeing the blue aura surround her crown as Luna stared, awaiting a response from Celestia. It was indeed very quiet with a sense of awkwardness as two Princesses stood there, solving a problem with a promise as the Equestrian princess stood still as if she was asked the million bits question and considered her answers.
"Promise?" Luna inquired as she had seen Celestia thinking hard about this.
Celestia suddenly pulled Luna into a hug without hesitation. "I Promise, Luna" Celestia stated with authority and responsibility. Luna levitated the crown perfectly atop of Celestia's multicolored mane as Celestia finally pulled the sun up from its very own slumber with her magic. The light hit into the room, reflecting off them, making them feeling bright and warm in each other's company.
The morning had passed quickly as both sisters carried on with their day as Luna headed off to bed and Celestia went on with her daily duties.
Afternoon came around as the day really had nothing to offer, but paperwork, scheduled meetings, and constant guard checkups. Celestia sat on her throne, thinking about the promise and ideas of her wanting to control everything which seemed to be a lust deep within her that she had never realized. Princess Celestia thought of looking more into the subject as she stared at the stained glass windows that surrounded her.
"Promise me that you will get past this somehow and we may move forward together." Luna's quote echoed inside of Princess Celestia's mind over and over. She had to find an answer, maybe the Archives could help her get a better grasp on what needed to be done. As Celestia had risen from her cushion seat, she recited to herself, “Time to get off my flank and do something." and headed to the throne room entrance.
Celestia walked out of the throne room and into the hall, recognizing guards and common ponies that worked the castle. "Tell everypony I'm done for today, I need to collect my thoughts. If any urgent business pops up, I'll be in the Canterlot Archives."
"Yes, Princess." The Royal Guard replied with a bow.
Princess Celestia greeted the guards as she walked past them into the peaceful and quiet Archives which had lots of information that most ponies couldn't access without permission from Celestia herself. But one of the perks of being Celestia was that she could freely look at them along with the other princesses. Celestia walked past the many shelves that contained scrolls, books, and even black magic. Every shelf was labeled and as the room was a circle shape, Celestia had no trouble looking for research scrolls, books, papers, and even articles from the Canterlot Times.
Princess Celestia spent two hours reading and reviewing on power and control and confirmed that she had a lust for it and didn't realize that once everything changed, she took notice to it. Celestia sat at a table with books stacked and scrolls scattered all over the floor as she recorded notes while reading some of the news articles. The room wasn't the only thing out of order, her mane appeared messy and she had removed her crown which was sitting on top of the stacks of books. Celestia let out a sigh as she closed the last news article, she had learned a lot, but nothing to help her cope with her condition of lust for power and control.
"Well, it looks as if I've searched every book, scroll, newspaper, and poem. I guess I better clean myself and this library up." Celestia said while she looked at a mirror placed in the Archives Library and looked around to see various scrolls and such lying about. She quickly gained speed to pick up as if she were caught by anypony, she'd never hear the end of it being a messy Princess and to think being teased by Luna relentlessly.
Princess Celestia couldn't help, but feel utter disappointment as she cleaned her mess and put everything back where it belonged. As Celestia slid the last book back in to place on the bottom shelf, she noticed a black and white book that seemed very inviting and unique. Celestia slowly pulled it out, revealing the name of the black and white book.
"Hypnosis and Mind Control for the Helpless." Celestia read out loud while she stared at the book, noticing a spiral for the cover of the book. "Hypnosis and Mind Control." Celestia repeated once again never considering the possibility of Hypnosis or even Mind Control. Her lust grew stronger as she debated whether to read it or not. She glanced at the cover, her lust grew substantially thinking Luna, Cadence, and Twilight, all hypnotized, all under her control and at her Aurum covered Hooves.
"NO! I promise to cope with it somehow, but not by force." Celestia stated with pride in her voice and her mane flowing in the wind while she marched out of the Archives books section. The book sat there in the quiet and peaceful Archives never to be bothered again.
"But it couldn't hurt to take a peak and read up on Hypnosis." Celestia suddenly spoke as she had circled around the bookshelf and went completely around to grab the book as her lust had gotten the better of her. Celestia stuffed the book under her wing and didn't want to be seen reading such material in public. She waved bye to her guards and quickly and anxiously trotted to her room where she could peacefully read it.
As Celestia quickly turned a corner, she smacked with great force into Luna. "OW!!! WHO DARES BUMP INTO......" Luna quickly realized that it was Celestia and that she was getting up from the fall as well.
"Sorry, Luna, that was my fault, I wasn't expecting to bump into you... Hey! What are you still doing up?" Celestia answered while rubbing her muzzle.
"No Tia, It is my fault, I've been trying to relax and get some sleep, but that didn't seem to work and now I'm wandering the halls, seeing if I could tire thy self into sleep." Luna answered while also rubbing her muzzle from the great impact and levitating her crown back atop her blue glittery mane. Celestia nodded as she had seen her crown had fallen off to and realized that lying next to it was the black and white book that made her want to quickly get to her room.
"What is that white and black striped book?" Luna quickly asked while finishing dusting herself up. Celestia's eyes widened as she quickly stuffed it under her wing and reacted to tell a lie quickly. "It's ummm... Relaxation for stressed ponies and ummm... and how to relax, that's what it is." Celestia finished with a blush and a smile.
"What coincidence, do you think you can help me relax and maybe get some rest?" Luna asked as she looked desperate for rest.
"Ummmm... sure, why not meet me in my room in thirty minutes while I read a bit of this and check it out." Celestia said unsure of what she said.
"Okay Tia, see you in thirty minutes." Luna finished with a warm smile as Celestia returned the smile and thinking of what to do?
Princess Celestia went back to trotting to her room, but also began to think, ‘It's perfect, control Luna's Mind through Hypnosis. Make her your Mindless Obedient Slave.’ "No! Yes! I don't know?!" Celestia began to go crazy with this opportunity as one half said ‘yes, she will be obedient to you.’ As the other said ‘no, she's your sister.’ Celestia quickly ran up the stairs to her room.
The door to Celestia's room slammed as she threw the book on the bed and paced back and forth on what she'll do. Celestia sat on the bed with the book at her left as she finally thought once for all what she was going to do. Memories and change flowed through Celestia's mind on how everything used to be and how now it seemed out of her control. Then suddenly Celestia remembered, "Promise me that you will get past this somehow and we may move forward together."
With that promise, Celestia knew that she had to hypnotize Luna, Princess Cadence, and even her faithful student Twilight Sparkle would be hypnotized as well. Princess Celestia grabbed the book and began to read quickly, knowing that Power and Control would be in her hooves again, but it would be Hypnosis Power and Mind Control as Celestia prepared reading about proper techniques, deeper trances and Controlling of the Mind. Also considering how exactly the three Princesses were going to fall, but for now Celestia focused on one at a time.
Princess Celestia read it very quickly as repetition was key to mind control along with well worded hypnosis as certain words will stimulate the mind in different ways. Also was the fact that everypony's mind worked and functioned differently. Princess Celestia read on, she felt complete with this book and decided to cling to it and never return it.
Time quickly passed as Celestia heard a knock on the door. Knowing who it was, she put the book in her nightstand and closed it tightly for hiding in plain sight worked for Celestia the most. She opened the door that revealed a blue pony alicorn who seem like she could use some rest, but Celestia knew that she would indeed get her rest.
"Come in, Luna, relax with your big sister for a while." Celestia said as she took lead and walked to the bed, patting it and inviting Luna to join her in the name of relaxation. Luna followed while sensing something different about her sister and as she was going to lay on the bed, Celestia extended a hoof, stopping Luna in her hoof steps. "Perhaps removing any type of armor or clothing would help us relax." Celestia then removed her hoof cup from the hoof that extended towards Luna with her magic. Luna thought it would be a great idea.
As both of the Princesses finished removing their hoof cups, neck pieces, and crowns, they lied down next to each other on the bed, feeling relaxed already. Luna loved to rest her hooves after a long day, especially after wearing hoof cups which not everypony understood because such clothing was only worn at special events, but being a Princess was a completely different story.
"Alright Luna in order for this to work, you're going to need and have to listen to every word I say no matter how silly or unusual you may find it, okay?" Celestia said with an anxious voice.
"Listen to every word you say, got it!" Luna said as she was ready to be relaxed. Celestia looked at Luna with a reassuring smile as Luna looked back.
"I want you to start by closing your eyes and taking nice slow deep breaths." Luna's eyes closed gently while she inhaled as her chest inflated. "Hold it, Luna. Now every time you exhale, stress will leave your body while also relaxing your muscles from the tip of your muzzle to the tips of your hooves and wings. Now exhale." Luna's chest fell in. Celestia examined her sister and she could see it was having an effect already as Luna's hooves twitched from the suggestion. "You begin to notice how your heartbeat is slowing and helping you relax along with your deep breaths." Luna's breathing wasn't so fast anymore as it started to slow along with her heartbeat.
"You feel your wings relax along with your body and mind as they melt with relaxation, sending your body deeper into a relaxed and obedient state." Luna had noticed the "obedient" part Celestia put in at the end, but considered nothing of it as she guessed it was probably said to help with the process. She could trust Celestia, right?
Celestia had leaned close to the relaxing Luna and whispered in her ear in a very soothing and comfortable voice. "OBEY and follow Celestia, OBEY without Question, OBEY Celestia as nothing, but the truth, OBEY Mindlessly, OBEY Blissfully, OBEY without Delay, OBEY Effortlessly, OBEY Continually, OBEY without Will, OBEY Celestia's Hooves, OBEY Celestia's Body, OBEY Celestia's Eye's, OBEY Celestia's Voice, OBEY and Trust Celestia, OBEY Princess Celestia." Luna could feel her mind becoming a bit sluggish with recurring words Obey and Celestia which strangely made sense to her. "Hearing my soothing voice say OBEY Celestia makes you happy and more relaxed than anything in else in Equestria." Luna couldn't deny it she felt like Obeying Celestia without question which felt normal.
Princess Luna had never felt this kind of experience before in her life, although it was fascinating and very relaxing. Luna could also feel herself sink into the nice soft cotton bed as her head rested on the softest pillows made by the best hooves as if they were just clouds taken from the sky.
"Now, Luna, you're doing perfect, keep breathing and listening to the sound of your heartbeat while I retrieve something to help your mind relax further." Luna could hear faint sounds in the back, but was too focused on staying relaxed to even care what Celestia was doing. While she waited "Obey Celestia" softly echoed in her mind as it repeated, bouncing off the caverns of her mind which diminished her thoughts. "Luna, I need you to pay attention for this next part as it's the key to your mind and when I count from 3 to 1, I want you to open your eyes and follow the swinging object."
"3..........2..........1 Open your eyes now!" Luna's eyes opened to the swinging of a silver pocket watch that reflected off the light in the room, making it more alluring to Luna as her eyes followed back and forth. "Watch it swing side to side as it becomes increasingly difficult to look away as each swing makes it harder and difficult to look away, but why would you want to look away when you have a strong desire to keep looking?" Luna kept staring while her fascination for the watch grew stronger and stronger.
"As my watch swings, your eyes follow. As your eyes follow, your eyelids begin to tire. As your eyelids begin to tire, your mind begins to shut down. As your mind begins to shut down, you become Mindless. As you become Mindless, you easily become Obedient. As you easily become Obedient, you Obey without question. As you Obey without question, You Obey Princess Celestia." Luna began to lose herself as she slowly became Obedient and Mindless without question.
"As you continue following the watch, you begin to notice how hard it is to think and how heavy, tired and sleepy you're feeling as your eyes begin to feel heavy as well." Celestia smiled, knowing that this is the point of no return. Celestia watched as Luna's eyes fought to keep open and seeing how hard it was getting for her. "No matter how much you want and need to close your eyes, you will not until I give the command, but until then, enjoy this sleepy blissful state." Luna's eyes begged for rest, but not without the approval of Celestia so with that, Celestia thought it was time to start making her a servant… even more.
Princess Luna's eyes followed as each swing brought her closer, deeper, and somnolent to Celestia's every whim. Celestia looked into Luna's eyes, but couldn't find Luna, only glazed over eyes following the pocket watch, a slight smile that hung open slightly and her ears which felt so heavy to Luna they needed to rest against her head. Luna, so Vulnerable and Spellbind is the best way to describe her. How you would you describe it?
"Each swing making it difficult to think as your mind is becoming Blank, Empty, and Obedient. Blank, Empty, and Obedient. In fact, you don't even remember who you are, do you?" Poor Luna was so lost in the pocket watch and repetition that nothing mattered. "That's it, no need to think, that's why I'm here." Luna drooled as she was almost completely gone. "Just relax and listen to my soothing voice. With each word you hear, you become more obedient, mindless, and happy for you desire to serve me in any way possible." Celestia's voice echoed in Luna's empty mind. Luna could do nothing as her mind was a book that Celestia opened and decided to write her own thoughts, replacing Luna's, believing it as truth.
Celestia wiped the drool that dripped from the Mindless Luna and whispered into Luna's ear which lied down against her head. Celestia slowly lifted up her ear and whispered. "Just Let Go and fall into Princess Celetia's warm hooves as I'll hug you not only with my hooves, but also with my wings wrapped around you in safety and in the warmth of the sun." Luna murmured ‘warmth’, which Celestia understood, as Luna's eyes helplessly still followed the swinging watch. "Yes, warmth as you have never felt before, touching every part of your body from the tip of your horn to the tips of your wings and hooves. Now let me guide you to the warmth of my embrace."
Luna smiled weakly at the thought of being hugged in the security of her sister as she would receive warmth and love from all around. Celestia saw the look on Luna's face, knowing it was over for Luna's mind as Celestia caressed Luna's cheek and stared at those helpless eyes, never leaving the swinging pocket watch, seeing her ears flat at her side and having her mouth slightly open, it was safe to say Luna wasn't there.
"Before we go any further, you need to go deeper. When I stomp my hoof on the side of the bed, you fall into a deep, blissful, mindless, Hypnotic Trance. On my count of 3, you will fall deeply into a hypnotic trance, feeling more obedient than before." Luna's body ached to go under as her eyes fluttered and full of water, she would fall with ease. "3… 2… 1 Sleep!" Luna dropped like a brick. As Celestia rubbed a hoof on Luna's face, knowing that this is the part in the book they call reprogramming or re-imaging whoever you hypnotized to become what you wanted and the fun part was just beginning for Celestia.
Celestia picked up Luna's hoof and as it felt limp and heavy, she dropped it. Luna's hoof wasted no time falling back to the bed and Celestia tried the same on Luna's hind hoof which replicated the same. Celestia smiled, for her first time hypnotizing, she did well. "Enough messing around, let's do what I brought you here for."
"As you lay there in a deep sleep, completely hypnotized as my mindless servant, you will obey every word and accept it as the truth no matter what and you will answer back with Yes Princess Celestia, Understand?"
Luna answered in a monotone voice without hesitation. "Yes, Princess Celestia." Celestia smiled, while she decided to make sure Luna was really Mindless.
"Servant will also be your new name and you enjoy being called Servant, don't you?"
"Yes, Princess Celestia."
Celestia looked at Luna, still laying there and obeying. "When I stomp my hoof, you will rise up and stand straight, looking directly at the wall and you will wait for further instructions." Luna waited for the stomp and not a second later, a hoof making contact with the floor was heard. Luna Obediently stood up and opened her eyes, looking in the direction of where the door was located.
"Servant, after this sentence, you will repeat everything I say, also adding ‘I Obey only Princess Celestia’ after everything and you will do so without thinking about what you’re saying as everything I say is true in every word, Understand?"
"Yes, Princess Celestia." Luna only stood with no ounce of her original personality, showing just a Mindless Alicorn who got wrapped up in Celestia's Control.
Celestia started out. "I am an Obedient Servant with no room for thought, only Mindless Obedience and Bliss."
Luna soaked in the information and repeated without a single thought. "I am an Obedient Servant with no room for thought, only Mindless Obedience and Bliss, I Obey only Princess Celestia." Luna repeated flawlessly.
"I don't want or need to think for myself because I have Princess Celestia." Celestia looked into Luna's glazed eyes, waiting for her to say it.
"I don't want or need to think for myself because I have Princess Celestia, I Obey only Princess Celestia."
‘One more,’ Celestia thought. "I'm Princess Celestia's Servant as I will do anything to make her happy and bring her pleasure no matter what, as I'm addicted to her warmth, beauty, and brilliant mind as I deserve to be at her hooves."
Luna's lips mimicked that of Celestia's. "I'm Princess Celestia's Servant as I will do anything to make her happy and bring her pleasure no matter what, as I'm addicted to her warmth, beauty, and brilliant mind as I deserve to be at her hooves, I Obey only Princess Celestia" Celestia loved this absolute feeling in being in Control. Last on her list was implanting triggers.
"Don't repeat me anymore, now we must plant triggers so you stay susceptible and obedient." Celestia said as she walked around the still Luna. "Your first trigger is Sleepy Luna. Once I say Sleepy Luna and only I, you will fall deep into your hypnotized form, being my servant once again." Celestia looked to see Luna taking in the information and decided to move on. "Next is memory which will be Forgetful Luna and you will forget what happened in the past couple of hours every time I say Forgetful Luna." The next one, Celestia would enjoy. "Royal Hooves or Bare Hooves, every time I say any of these two Triggers, you will get the great urge to kiss my Hooves and pull off my hoof cups to worship such Royal, or in that case, Bare Hooves."
Celestia stood about, thinking of the last one which she thought would be most entertaining. "Ticklish Luna, once this is said from my lips, you will experience a Million feathers tickle you mercilessly from your head to under your wings and especially those sensitive hooves of yours." Celestia almost forgot the last one as she quickly put the last trigger in Luna’s mind .
"Luna's Moon, when spoken, you will be unable to lift the moon or lower as you need help to or you need me to be around in order for the moon to move." Celestia repeated the five Triggers again to Luna and making sure she wouldn't forget after strengthening the Triggers. Celestia was ready for the altered Luna to come back.
"When I count from 3 to 1, you shall wake from your trance, remembering everything. 3, slowly awaking and eyes opening. 2, aware of surroundings and mind becoming your own again. 1, back in real time and fully energized."
Celestia stood back as Luna blinked a couple times and slowly looking at Celestia. "You tricked me Tia, you hypnotized me for what gain and why?"
Celestia could see the confused look on her counter-part. "Well Luna you told me to cope with the power and I did so I hypnotized you. It really helped and I didn't break the promise."
Luna looked shocked and disappointed by her sister's choice of taking care of the matter. "Celestia! It's more than a promise, I wouldn't have gone so low as to what you have done, controlling ponies minds and to go as far as my mind is an extremely a new low." Luna replied in an angry and disappointed tone.
"Luna… I" Celestia tried to speak as Luna interrupted her.
"No excuses, Celestia, you know what you did and did not so much as lift a hoof up to even consider or stop yourself from doing this. I don't know what would happen if news got out on how Celestia mind controlled ponies." As she finished her yelling at her sister, Luna had a sudden realization.
"Celestia..... since you hypnotized me, I bet you're going to hypnotize Princess Cadence and Twilight Sparkle, I'm sure of that." Luna quickly said as she figured out her sister's plan.
Celestia nodded with a bit of shame, but it being the only answer as Luna turned away to exit the room. "I'm going to tell Princess Twil… " Celestia quickly held Luna's hoof.
"Sorry Luna, but I can't have you ruining it… Forgetful Luna."
Princess Luna's eyelids fluttered while her eyes rolled to the back of her head and quickly collapsed as Celestia caught her. Celestia stared while Luna opened her eyes as if she had woken up, she looked confused. "Why am I up here and not in bed and what's going on?" Celestia then explained a long story involving sleeping issues and why she was up here. Luna's look of confusion surrounded her while she thought why she couldn't remember anything, but Celestia just reassured her by saying, ‘you were heavily tired’.
While Celestia finished the story, she decided to test out the other Triggers. "Royal Hooves." Luna's eyes widened all the while she stared at Celestia, eyeing her hooves. Luna began to twitch and kept staring at her sister's hooves without looking away in the slightest. Celestia pulled her own hoof cup off one of her front hooves as she said "Don't mind me, just relaxing my Royal Hooves, I think I might just go to Bare Hooves in a minute." As each hoof cup slid off, Luna began sweating and becoming anxious. By the time Celestia removed all of her hoof cups, Luna leaped, tackling Celestia and knocking her on her back with her hooves face up.
"Forgive me, Celestia!!" Luna yelled as she kissed and caressed Celestia's Royal Bare Hooves while also tickling Celestia with her soft kisses and going as far as licks against her hooves. Luna closed her eyes, enjoying being at the hooves of her sister so much, she didn't realize Celestia was hollering in Laughter. Luna felt like she had found her paradise as the Hooves she worshiped danced around, trying to avoid the ticklish kissing and licking. Celestia didn't think this Trigger would be like this in the slightest so she thought it was best to try the other Triggers.
"Hahahahaha TICKLISH LUNA!! haha!" With that, Luna fell to the ground in hysterics, feeling feathers brush against her hooves, underneath her sensitive wings and completely all over Luna's body.
"WHAHAHAHAHAT'S HAHAHAHAPPENINGHAHAHA TAAAAAAAO MEEEEEEEAAAAAA!!!" Luna Screamed with Laughter so much, it would put Pinkie Pie to shame. Celestia stood up, admiring her work while Luna cried and whaled for it to stop, feeling a feather here and there as Luna extended and folded her wings, trying to shake the feathers under her wings, but proved to no avail.
"TIAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HEEEHAHAHAHAHALLLLLLHAHAHAPPPPPPPPP!!!" Luna begged with her eyes full with tears.
"I don't know, Luna, you seem to be enjoying yourself." Celestia said with a smirk.
"TIHAHAHAHA PHAHALLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEHAHA!!!" As Luna was reaching her breaking point.
"Fine, Sleepy Luna." With those words, Princess Luna collapsed into sleep, but Celestia decided to let her rest and sleep as she rested Luna atop of her bed, covering her with the sun designed blanket. "Good Night, Luna." Celestia whispered as she nuzzled her resting sister, hearing her murmur in her sleep.
Hours passed as it began to get late and time for the moon to rise for the night. Princess Luna opened her eyes slowly to notice the sun painted ceiling and quickly realizing that this is Celestia's room. Luna yawned while she pulled the blanket off and stood up to stretch her legs. Upon doing this, cracks and pops could be heard as Luna enjoyed the stretching feeling. Luna spotted her belongings and placed them back on to get ready to manage the night.
Princess Celestia entered the room and noticed her sister ready for the night. "I was just about to wake you as everypony awaits Luna's Moon." Luna felt something shift inside her as Luna's Moon felt weird to her, but it didn't matter, the moon needed to rise now.
Princess Luna opened the balcony doors and stood in her moon rising stance as her horn glowed. She focused on raising the moon, but noticed nothing was happening and she felt empty. Luna tried once again, only to receive the same result and attempting again and again and again. The moon not appearing and an empty feeling would be the only same result.
"Is everything alright, Luna, why isn't the moon up yet?" Princess Celestia asked as she walked onto the balcony next to Luna. Luna had no logical reason why it wasn't up, only because it wouldn't let her, but the second her sister stepped onto the balcony with her, she felt her confidence gain again and tried for the last time. In one smooth flow, the moon had finally risen revealing the nightlight of Equestria.
"Everything is fine, I just needed your company, Tia." Luna smiled, knowing she felt a bit closer to Celestia for some strange reason.
"Alright, Luna, I think it's about time I headed off to bed." Celestia replied with a yawn, happy that all Triggers worked.
"Okay, Tia." Luna replied as they both returned inside and Celestia got ready for bed.
"Good Night Luna."
"Good Night Tia." They both said to each other in turn as Luna left, gently closing the door behind her.
Princess Celestia removed her usual attire and climbed onto bed, knowing she was going to get a full restful night of sleep. As Celestia closed her eyes and smiled, waiting for sleep to take her away. "One Down, Two to Go." Princess Celestia repeated to herself as she drifted off to sleep.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (Cadence)
NEXT CHAPTER
QUOTE From The Next Chapter
"When my hoof touches your muzzle your eyes will instantly drop and you will be completely........ utterly......... helplessly........ hypnotized." - Princess Celestia
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Well, I quite enjoyed this chapter, but all the mistakes took away a bit of the reading pleasure. Even in the first two paragraphs, I already noticed a lot of mistakes that could have easily been fixed if you went over it again before publishing it. Also, you aren't a real fan of commas, are you?
Let's take a look at the mistakes in your first two paragraphs, shall we?
What a mess... sorry. Well, let's get started with the first sentence, okay?
Correct: Princess Celestia stirred in bed, thinking of the latest changes in Equestria as she opened her eyes to look at the decorated sun painted on ceiling representing herself, and let out a sigh.
Correct: She slowly rose up until completely sitting up, staring at the windows that showing little light, but the moon.
This sentence just doesn't sound right. So, let's change it. Celestia planted her bare hoof after another on the carpet until she was completely standing and faced a heavily crafted mirror made from the finest gold in Equestria.
Correct: Even without her Gold Regalia, Crown, and Aurum Hoof Cups, she appeared as a Princess with or without her attire and represented good in pony kind.
Correct: As Celestia stared at herself, she spread her wings, admiring herself and thinking 'I used to be the only princess.'
Whenever a new character speaks, you create a new paragraph, which is not the case here.
Correct: "Everything alright, sister?" Luna appeared from a shadow in the corner of the room with concern displayed on her face.
Celestia gently lowered her wings. "I'm just feeling different with all that's happened recently I never felt so..."
Three periods will suffice.
Well, hope that helped, and if you want, I could take a look at the whole chapter, thus becoming your editor.
FINALLY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A STORY LIKE THIS!
3137876 I figured someone would come around eventually pointing out my mistakes.
So I'd like to thank you for enlightening the situation as I have problem with commas and a bit of dialogue which I haven't really gotten down.
This is my first story so any help would be fantastic.
3139734 Well then, I shall become your editor. I will send a PM for contact details and such, but remember, your first story is always your worst. ALWAYS.
3139759 Good to know I'm not alone.
I would hypnotise Celestia. My 5 triggers would be: 1. Champion Celestia, this causes her to attack anybody/pony I choose.
2. Darkness, this would cause her to take controll of the sun and moon and create an eclipse.
3. Surender magi, this causes her to transfer all of her abilities to me for my use.
4. Full control, this allows me to dictate all of her actions.
And finally
5. Endless day, this command works as an judgment command. Celestia leaves the sun in the sky for eternity burning the earth.
And for number 2 I would be hypnotised by Luna. If I was hypnotised by her I would allow her too use me as a personal fighter
Just from the description, I'm waiting for the last chapter to break the fourth wall.
Nice story!
I would Hypnotize Twilight with a trigger to make her not be able to use magic, one to make her dumber and more bimbo like every time I said it, one to make her agree and believe anything I say, one to make her horny, and one to make her evil (not murderous or grimdark, just evil enough to make her want to take over the world or at least act like Chrysalis)
Luna would hypnotize me to help me sleep better or be more productive with my work and exercise, but if she also wanted to use me for her "personal needs" I would be cool with that
An interesting story, and one I think I rather like.
I would hypnotize Princess Twilight Sparkle, and my five triggers would be as follows:
1) "It's a fact" - whatever follows or is followed by this trigger, Twilight will accept as completely and utterly true, to the point that if asked about it she will give you very plausible sounding (and very unconsciously made up) references and statistics about it. (I think Twi's one of the only ponies who can think on her feet, er, hooves, fast enough to pull that last part off, and the results would be hysterical)
2) "Inventory" - causes Twilight to briefly enter trance, completely and randomly rearrange the library's collection of books, and snap out of trance without realizing what she's just done.
3) "Friendship letter" - causes Twilight to put whatever may currently be on her mind, however trivial, silly, or downright wrong, into a letter, and have Spike send it before snapping back to her senses.
4) "Spa day" - causes Twilight to become instantly and profoundly relaxed and calm, regardless of her current mood or pressing issues she may have. Included because as fun as messing with Twilight is, she deserves a remedy for her frequent, often self-induced episodes of extreme stress. (As a secondary effect, she gives Spike a small gem each time this is used, since he's probably gonna have to deal with the aftermath of suggestions 2 and 3)
5) "Embrace the magic" - causes Twilight to fall immediately into a very deep, suggestible trance. Why? Because you never know when you might need to make an alteration or two to the ones mentioned above (or, if you're REALLY devious, add even more!)
I would most prefer to be hypnotized by Princess Luna (I see a theme developing here), though Twilight would be fun too. I'd let Luna hypnotize me as the ultimate display that I not only liked and respected her, but trusted her as well. As for what would I let her make me do? I'm showing that I trust her. She can do anything she wants to me, even if it pushes my boundaries a bit. What would I WANT her to do? Well, I never remember my dreams. I'm sure some are bad, but I'd still like to remember them, especially if Luna's the one presiding over them, so I'd ask her to keep them in my memory after I wake. I think that's a suggestion we'd both enjoy.
Some other possibilities and my thoughts on them (listed in a funny manner):
Sex: "Whoa! Don't get me wrong, I have a kink for this sort of thing, but if that's what you wanted all you had to do was say so."
Protection: "Hey, you are a co-regent of Equestria, a wonderful friend and companion, and a singularly beautiful being in both body and mind. It would take a terrible coward not to protect you."
Pretend to have gone mad for the lack of meat and chase ponies around the castle: "Ummm. . . I dunno, Luna, I mean that could be dangerous, and I don't really wanna frighten anypony. It could stir up a lot of- *She stretches out a wing to touch forehead. Eyes glaze over for a moment before tearing up shirt and running hunched over down the nearest corridor, all the while making sounds like Taz from the Loony Tunes*.
Keep up this entertaining work.
This was absolutely wonderful, I'm very excited to see where you take this.
The one big thing that caught me up though, was the constant run-on sentences. They make the entire thing very uncomfortable to read, and for a while in the beginning there I was seriously debating whether to continue or not. If you were to fix only one thing in this story, please fix those.
Besides the run-on sentences though, the story is fantastic. Once it got to the actual hypnosis part, I was blown away with how well-done it was. Your hypnosis sequence was exactly what hypnosis should be like; long, detailed, full of rythm and repetitious dialogue (that OBEY section was glorious). So few mind-control stories do such a good job with the mind-control portion, and in that aspect this fanfic did extremely well.
Again, I totally loved this story. If you fix the grammar, it could easily sit among my top five favorite MLP MC fics by the time it's done.
I can't think of any good triggers atm, so I'll come back for that contest.
Luna Elite Thank you for writing this,
I enjoyed reading it. Your hypnosis sequence was amazing; long, detailed, full of rhythm and repetitious dialogue (that OBEY section was glorious). So few mind-control stories do such a good job with the mind-control portion.
I am sure you heard that before but I am glad to repeat it.
I guess I would have to think about what you said in your Author's notes.
Thank you for writing it.
UPDATE SOON!!!
3137876 I noticed some of your corrections were wrong too, for instance:
"She slowly rose up until completely sitting up, staring at the windows that showing little light, but the moon."
Should probably be:
She slowly rose until completely sitting up, staring at the windows which showed little light, which came from the moon."
The grammar's pretty jumbled there so I'm not entirely sure what the author was trying to say, but "showing" is present tense.
Celestia should plant one bare foot after another, not "her" bare foot after another.
"Even without her Gold Regalia, Crown, and Aurum Hoof Cups, she appeared as a Princess with or without her attire and represented good in pony kind."
Good in pony kind seems awkward, I think "Representing the good of pony kind" would be better. Also "As a princess" just means she's a princess, I think the author was looking for a word more like "regal" or "elegant."
"As Celestia stared at herself, she spread her wings, admiring herself and thinking 'I used to be the only princess.'"
The "I used to be the only princess" should be in quotation marks. Also "herself" seems redundant here, so maybe "admiring her figure" would sound better.
Last but not least "I'm just feeling different with all that's happened recently I never felt so..."
There should be a comma between recently and I and I should be either "I've" or "I have"
Sorry if this comment comes across as rude or jumbled, I'm pretty new to FimFiction so I'm not entirely sure how to do everything, but yeah I just thought someone should point that out.
Also the author has lots of trouble with capitalization. Trigger, down, and night, for example, are not proper nouns, so they shouldn't be capitalized, even if they are relevant to the story. Also, I think the actual trigger phrases should be in bold or italics, as opposed to capitalized. Hope this didn't come across as rude or anything, I'm pretty sure I already mentioned that but anyway... I should shut up now.
3184509 That's why it's always better to have two editors instead of one. The one can fix the mistakes of the other. Also, I noticed that the sentences were weirdly written, but I decided not to touch that, because maybe it was part of how the story was told... I don't know.
3184509 I understand that it is weirdly worded and bold or italics would be nice, but please this whole Chapter was the test for my writing capabilities.
While I failed in many areas.
I also succeeded in many as well.
Now I'll come back to this Chapter eventually and fix it, but in the meantime, I'm going to continue forth. While looking back at my past mistakes to help my writing further.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Edison
3187571 Alright then
certainly better than my first one (not that I've actually put anything anywhere). Mine was almost entirely dialogue xD
3187571 Oooh~ Then when is the next chapter? I really like this fic because it only focuses on the mind control aspect and not on clop or whatever other things you usually find in mind control fics.
3193806 Hopefully within the next week. As I caught a terrible cold this past week and it severely hindered the story's progress.
Now I'm recovering and rewriting the next chapter.
3200183
What's status of the next chapter?
3270389 Its taking way longer than expected, I've been bombarded with school and tiredness, but don't worry I'll definitely have this done before the end of next weekend... hopefully.
3273788 static2.fjcdn.com/comments/I+m+watching+you+dog...+im...+watching..+you+_5f27f40ad0fa60ff583395ebd640b87c.png
3273788 ... hopefully. Sorry to be such an annoyance, I'm just really interested in the next chapter.
3327874 It's not your fault, I'm trying to write this quickly, and it's eating at me that the next chapter isn't out yet.
Princess: Cadence. Triggers: Number one would be "Hush now" (for putting back in trance). Number two would be "Bad Day?" (used to make her confused, therefore unable to run her kingdom). Number three would be "There, there" (to stop her from talking, making her mute). Number four would be "Never mind" (for making her forget the previous hour). Number five would be "Darling" (to make her unable to think of anything but the person who hypnotised her.
Question 2: I would let Twilight hypnotise me. She seems reliable and trustworthy, though I wouldn't let her humiliate me in any way.
I get hypnotised by Rarity and Sweetie Belle.
3359339 i need to learn hypnotism!
3359339 this is GOOD advice! 3273788 It'd be nice if you made it into the story, (If you can work it into the story you have!)
WOW SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Great job, can't wait for more
3458092 I need to summon up the courage to even try to hypnotise someone.
3482085 Well, the real question is. Do you know how?
3482085 someone could hypnotize you to do it?
3482095 Sadly, yes. Many different ways, but I've only tried the suggestibility tests, you know, hand stuck to the table (using their mind, people usually can't get their hand off the table, they think it's glued on) and such.
3482191 Haha. My friends don't really understand the subject as well as I do, therefore would make a fool of themselves trying to hypnotise me.
3487111 PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT, i'm immune to mind games, I HAVE THE DARKLIGHT FORCE, ZUUL MOTHERFUCKERS!
348846 huh? Everyone can be hypnotised. It's a part of daily life. Take those times when you're walking and talking to someone and end up in your destination without thinking. That's a regular form of hypnosis.
I'd love to be under rarity and sweetie belle's control @.@
3488628 HA! i have no REAL friends, and i wouldn't walk outside of the house (other than into the driveway) during the day, EVER
Luna elite.....
Shank ye for making and continuing this story.
From the bloody tip of my Kusari-gama, Shingiri no tachi, i salute you, waiting at your call, to aid in any plan!
~Ember, The Kistu of choice, for killing, assassinations, and plot convenience.
3518780 Whoa!! Not sure to feel scared, concerned, or thankful.
3528713 any are fine with me!
3528995 Then I would wonder why you're making such comments causing me concern or anything else of that matter. Have I done something to you?
3529027 to express how twisted i am, but that i can be nice, while also staying creepy! (fall isn't really a time for creepy with me, going into inter is more of a time for the spirits for me. the chill of the air feels like spirits whizzing past, the trees without leaves seems to embody the bones of a corpse, and do i NEED to talk about Shai-Hulud?)
Is there a revised release date for the next chapter? Or are we on the "when it's done" phase?
3537832 The chapter will be releasing sometime this week. I can only hope this is the last time I say that and finally release it. Besides that, I hope you enjoy the second chapter,
3538286
Sweet. Looking forward to it.
3518776 Thank you for expressing your Sombra-like feelings. I must say, though, that even losing track of time can sometimes be a light hypnotic trance. Your mind does many things subconsciously, such as breathing. Your subconscious mind controls breathing, but as soon as you think about it, suddenly your conscious mind controls it. Hypnosis is just bypassing the conscious mind, putting it "to sleep" while implanting suggestions on the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind has your values in it, so it is impossible to do things you wouldn't do in life in hypnosis, yet it is the part of your mind that simply accepts things. If you said something to someone while they were in a hypnotic trance, they would accept it as if it were truth. Memories can be forgotten, new ones could be written, and the subject may not remember the trance at all. Hypnosis is a fascinating subject.
3557830 hm..... so, hypnosis is subconscious suggestion?
3557900 In theory, yes. It is subconscious programming, making new subconscious habits. Take a suggestion to sleep when the fingers are clicked. The subconscious makes it a new habit, and as the subconscious takes no notice of time, the suggestion is always as fresh as when it was first implanted.
3561890 *during you talking* (wait, i majored in programming, and i minored in psychology! so, now i know how to make my FELINE ARMY!) well, gotta go, i have to do a thing at a place with a guy in the time!
3562701 Ah, and I haven't graduated yet. Think of the possibilities, all the things I could do (if I wasn't such a scaredy cat)... Have fun with your excuse!
3563187 You could do alot. You should talk to Flutters about that, i hear she's good with that kind of stuff, you know story arch and all. I'll try, the guy in the place is picky about time.