• Member Since 6th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Scroll Keeper


T

Two explorers toil away in a dark cavern and find a city lost to time. Nocturne The City of Night Mare Moon.

Set in a verse where Night Mare Moon Ruled for one Hundred Years.
(Image was just goggled if artist has a problem with me using please say so)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 5 )

Perhaps a few letters aren't capitalized when they should be, but hey, it's not half bad for a first fic. I'm not gonna lie however, you'll need to work on your paragraph formatting... In places where a sentence starts with dialogue, begin a new line. You don't have to listen to me however, cause I'm sure you're just still learning the ins and outs.

Anyways, if you would like for your fic or any future fics to get seen more, just let me know and I'll add them to the appropriate groups. :twilightsmile:

I need to say something about this tibit here...

“May...The...Stone...Find...Those...Loyal...To...Protect...Them...From...Time...Until...Our...Queen...Rises...Again.

May the stone find those loyal to protect them from time until our queen rises again.” He translates.

Also, this section repeats itself, which makes the first redundant as. I'm assuming you were going for something like:

Scroll struggled to interpret the meaning of the runes, May...The... What? The next line few lines were as difficult to decipher. His lips involuntary moved, To...Protect...Them...From...Time...

"I got it!" The unicorn exclaimed.

He began to translate, "May the stone find those loyal to protect them from time until our queen rises again.”

This is just a guess, sorry, it I got carried away. :twilightsheepish:

3079521
Greatly appreciated advice. I need all the help I can get. As to adding it to a group I don't know if it is good enough for that just yet.

3087870
Aright then. Always happy to help. :twilightsmile:

not bad! missing words here and there but otherwise not bad.

I'll watch and follow

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