When Rarity asks Applejack for a favor, she gets upset when Rarity takes her hat. When Applejack goes by Raritys shop to retrieve it, she is left with a huge surprise.
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Wren_Fest
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... huh.
3077130 i have no clue... i just wrote and this happened
3077145
It's not bad. Well written, and I can only pick out a few grammatical discrepencies.
It's just that I'm not into clopfics (not that this is a clopfic), and my mind is trying to process this.
There's quite a few grammatical errors, it's a bit too short for my tastes, and much of the dialogue seems a little forced, but it's not bad. I enjoyed it.
3077230 I'm not very good with words, so i appreciate the kind words of others
I kinda expected a clop fic. This is leading up to one and for a good bit it seems kind of sweet. But like TwilightAmory said, some of the dialogue seems forced. It could have been a lot sharper and smoother. But like you said to Paton, you "just wrote and this happened". I can't really criticize that. I think next time though, if ya got a good friend who won't steal your work, then maybe you could ask them to proof read, to catch any sort of grammatical errors and also to see if things go weird at any point.
If this is your first posted story, then you did a good job. If this is one of a few, then you might need to step back a bit and focus on sharpening your writing.
3077865 this was my first of many to come.... i started with my fic flutterdash: the beginning, and that was my very very first fic ever(!) so it wasnt all that great, but this one was ok.... i mean it could have been better...
Well that was different... I mean the licking AJ's stomach thing, but it had some good feels.
3081518 loli just wanted it to be slightly risky, but i wasnt paying attention to how i was writing.....
LB o, o
3097115 What does that mean?
a nice story, though it felt, compacted i suppose. it has potential to be revisited maybe, and expanded a little more...course i am a sucker for the rare AJxRarity ships
3282083 thanks for the tip, because they are all, and I mean all of them are helpful in some way, shape, or form