During the first week of Autumn, Luna and Celestia journey to a shrine far above Canterlot. They go to pay their respects and remember the one pony that surpassed even they, the one who saved the world long before the royal sisters ever could.
Most of all, they go to remember the one mare they loved more than each other.
Cover art: 1199839 on Derpibooru
Part of the Universe of the White Mare
Any/all constructive critism is welcome. A big thanks to Fac3Desk, Leo Heartship and Itchigotchi of Bronies Australia for helping me out with this.
Chapters (1)
Must say glad to see the final product! I enjoyed reading it a lot.
Know what? This is one of the best Fausticorn stories I have read. You did very well here and you should be pleased with it. Here, a very loud cheer for you.
This was wonderful and beautiful. I liked how we don't have to know the mother's name, since she is simply "Mother" to all. I liked the descriptions of the dark monster that ends up being Equestria's Satan. Very nice all around! Keep 'em coming!
This is both a run-on sentence and a comma-splice.
run-on sentence. "...maple tree. Its leaves..."
Run-on "...reverie, and she looked"
improper use of ; should be a comma
Re-used 'bark' twice in the same sentence. The repartition serves no purpose, and so it should be avoided. Omit 'of rough bark'
Run-on sentence. Bold is a complete sentence on its own.
Use of passive voice (verb before subject) is not recommended. However, you did use the semi-colon right.
While there was nothing bad about this story, it didn't hold my interest enough to finish it. That could be for a number of reasons, not the least is that it's currently 2am. I may come back and try again, but I don't make any guarantees.
Amazing, simply amazing.
Very moving
Thus hrlps make me hate Tirek even more. Very well written ending.
Feels... saaaad!
this was good!
Anypony else cry at this
My Dearest Children
If you are reading this and I have yet to return, then there is a large chance that I shall be unable to do so. I must be truthful with you, for I would never forgive myself if I lied to you now. As you know, while you slept I have travelled to confront whoever was responsible for the mental shockwave of magic that we felt yesterday. Whatever being created it will undoubtedly be strong, stronger than even I, and I have left knowing that there is little chance of my victory. This is why I leave the two of you with these words, for I know you will look after one another and are more than capable of defending yourselves.
I must also begrudgingly place the burden of my duties upon you, though I have given you enough time to rise to the challenge as I know you will. The sun and moon have been charged with enough magical energy to raise and lower themselves for at most two centuries. In that time you must learn to do this as I have done for the longest time, but I have every confidence that you will succeed. It will also be your duty to protect this world from those that seek to undo the harmony I have sown. I know these are daunting requests to place on shoulders as young as yours but know that if you ever need aid, seek out the powers of harmony and my strength will be yours.
Luna, my little star. I know you are easily frightened and shy, but know that you are so much stronger than you realise. You have an artistic spirit none can match and a gentle soul that can ease the troubles of those around you. Please be strong for me and care for your sister, as she will need you.
Celestia, my ray of sunlight. I know that as the elder sister you will face the brunt of the trials that lay ahead, but I also know that you are strong and courageous enough to overcome those challenges. Your curiosity and kind heart are second to none and yours is a light that will forever shine in the darkness. Please look after your little sister, for she will now depend upon you.
While this may be the last message I might ever give to you, know that out of all the life I have helped flourish in this world I am no prouder than of the two of you. Yours is a bright and shining future, one in which you shall guide this world together from darkness to the utopia I had always envisioned.
And although we may never see each other again, always remember this; I love both of you with all of my heart.
Now and forever more watching over you,
Mother
Looked up stories with the name Remembrance (like the Argodaemon video), and man did I not expect to find such a gem. This was a lovely story, and really built up the bond between Faust (I assume the White Mare is Faust) and her daughters. My favorite part was the moment Tirek had a hint of uncertainty of his fate. The moment Faust decided he would not be a threat to her daughters. Great writing!
the element of imagination shines
Thank you faust