Rivet Turner is a maintenance pony living in Stable 12. One day while working he finds a strange message on a terminal and is thrust into the unforgiving wasteland of Equestria.
You're keeping me interested. Awesome stuff. A few hiccups though.
“I'm really worried about Rose. She hasn’t said a word sense we got out of the Stable.” Actually she had barely made any noise at all. Its like she was a ghost just gliding along with us. You mean since not sense.
“So Rivet, hows that leg of yours? It feeling better?” Daisy asked. It actually was feeling a lot better than it had last night. The burning had gone away, it hurt slightly when I walked but It wasn’t any cause for alarm. No reason to capitalize that it.
“Yeah, its fine now.” I was starting to get annoyed by everypony asking me if I was alright. It's not its.
Deadbolt and I looked at eachother, then back to the strange food. Tentatively I took a small bite. Surprisingly enough, it actually wasn’t that bad. It was certainly a drastic change from having eaten almost nothing but apples my entire life. Eachother is two separate words.
“That’s because there aren’t any pegasi Marefield.” Daisy explained. That’s because there aren’t any pegasi in Marefield.
One of the robot leaned forward and whispered something to their leader. He glanced up at us, then back at Steadfast. “Fine, we’ll be on our way. But be sure that Mr. Avarice will hear about this transgression.” The pegasus turn and started to walk away. His two goons sat for a few seconds starting up at us before following. Darn auto finger typos. Staring fits better than starting.
You're keeping me interested. Awesome stuff. A few hiccups though.
“I'm really worried about Rose. She hasn’t said a word sense we got out of the Stable.” Actually she had barely made any noise at all. Its like she was a ghost just gliding along with us.
You mean since not sense.
“So Rivet, hows that leg of yours? It feeling better?” Daisy asked. It actually was feeling a lot better than it had last night. The burning had gone away, it hurt slightly when I walked but It wasn’t any cause for alarm.
No reason to capitalize that it.
“Yeah, its fine now.” I was starting to get annoyed by everypony asking me if I was alright.
It's not its.
Deadbolt and I looked at eachother, then back to the strange food. Tentatively I took a small bite. Surprisingly enough, it actually wasn’t that bad. It was certainly a drastic change from having eaten almost nothing but apples my entire life.
Eachother is two separate words.
“That’s because there aren’t any pegasi Marefield.” Daisy explained.
That’s because there aren’t any pegasi in Marefield.
One of the robot leaned forward and whispered something to their leader. He glanced up at us, then back at Steadfast. “Fine, we’ll be on our way. But be sure that Mr. Avarice will hear about this transgression.” The pegasus turn and started to walk away. His two goons sat for a few seconds starting up at us before following.
Darn auto finger typos. Staring fits better than starting.
Awesome story to be sure.