Resolutions (Epilogue)
Celestia’s sun had just begun to set, dipping below the horizon and bathing Ponyville in a crimson light. It was five days after her confrontation with Shadow Star, and Twilight’s wings ached dully. It was a comfortable feeling. Flying lessons for the day had been taxing, but she had spent it with her favorite pony in Equestria.
“Bit for your thoughts?” Luna asked. The two alicorns were situated on the balcony of Twilight’s library, watching the sun fall. “You’re dwelling on our meeting with ‘Tia earlier, aren’t you?”
It was true. Twilight’s mind was still in the recently repaired royal reception hall.
~*~*~*~*~
“Twilight Sparkle,” the Solar Princess had said. “There are some formalities that need taken care of. Even though I trust you completely, the bureaucracy demands that some minor details are ironed out.”
Twilight hadn’t liked the sound of that, but she nodded dutifully. “Alright. What’s first?”
Celestia grimaced. “Well, we might as well get the most unpleasant business out of the way first. Are you aware of the law regarding Class One spell casters?”
“Magic users are rated on a scale of one to ten,” Twilight recited, “with ten being barely gifted and one being princess-level.” Twilight frowned. “There are only two Class Ones that I know of, being you and Luna.”
Celestia nodded. “That was the case. And because of this, the law regarding Class Ones wasn’t an issue. Nopony was brave enough to try and impose limits upon the power of royalty.”
Twilight frowned. “But?”
“But then you entered the picture,” Celestia stated evenly. “The bureaucrats demanded that I keep your power in check somehow.” The white alicorn frowned and flared her wings. “They’re cowards and fools, but they keep Equestria running.”
“So what’s the plan?”
“Well, normally, both Luna and I would place various spells upon you, restricting your power to mundane levels unless a crisis occurred and your full power was needed.” As she said this, a sly look entered Celestia’s eye.
“Normally?”
“There is one way around it,” Celestia grinned. “So congratulations, Twilight. I’m appointing you as a permanent member of my Advisory Council and my official Royal Representative in Ponyville.”
A confused look came across Twilight’s face. “But Princess, you don’t have an Advisory Council.”
Celestia nickered with amusement. “I created it this morning. There’s only one seat that was available, and it now belongs to you. So now, as both a Royal Representative and my own personal advisor, I get to make the rules of what you can and cannot do,” the white alicorn said with a wink. “And I officially decree that no limits are needed upon you.”
Twilight laughed at the Princess’s devious maneuver. “Won’t that upset ponies?”
“Undoubtedly,” the white alicorn snorted. “But they can’t do anything about it.”
“I’m honored, Princess,” Twilight said, bowing.
“Is the bow necessary, Twilight?” another melodious voice chimed in. Twilight looked up, a smile spreading across her face, as her favorite midnight blue alicorn entered the hall.
“Only in the presence of such high ranking figures,” Twilight replied playfully, her wings fluttering slightly. The sight Princess Luna never failed to take Twilight’s breath away.
“How flattering,” Luna murmured, nuzzling Twilight and entwining their tails together.
Celestia cleared her throat. Twilight blushed fiercely, and Luna glared at her elder sister. “There are still things that we need to discuss, Lu’,” Celestia said.
“Then discuss them.”
“Oh, for the love of…” Celestia shook her head, turning her attentions back to Twilight. “The second thing I needed to arrange with you is a training schedule.”
“Training schedule?” Twilight repeated dumbly. “For what?”
Celestia looked meaningfully at Twilight’s wings. “You’re the only alicorn in the history of Equestria that wasn’t born that way. You won’t have the instinctual control that Luna and I possess, and you certainly won’t be flying on your new wings. Now, I am usually available for lessons…” the white alicorn trailed off as Twilight scraped a hoof against the floor, a guilty look written all over her face. Luna had dissolved into giggles. “Okay,” Celestia demanded, “what am I missing?”
“W-well, you see Princess…” Twilight started.
“I’ve already started teaching Twilight, ‘Tia,” Luna finished. “We actually did have a flying lesson after Shadow Star was defeated.”
“And we’ve been having sessions where I’ve been learning to control my new powers for a few days now,” Twilight added. “Sorry for not telling you earlier.”
Celestia looked from the embarrassed purple alicorn to the smirking midnight blue one, a resigned sigh escaping her lips. “There will be no separating you two, will there?”
“Not at all,” Luna replied confidently.
“She’s already moved in to the library,” Twilight mumbled.
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Then I guess that settles it,” the white alicorn said. “Lu’, make sure she learns well. I’ve had enough rampant alicorn magic for one millennium.”
Luna nodded while Twilight asked, “Was there anything else you needed, Princess?”
Princess Celestia looked thoughtful for a second, and shook her head. “There is one other bit of information I’d like to give you, but the official business is settled, more or less.”
“Information?”
“Yes. I was reading over Greymane’s work on the alicorn transmutation spell,” Celestia said. “And I came across an interesting passage. Apparently, he modified the spell from a more permanent version of his other spells. He had obviously intended to keep his wings once he had them.”
Twilight frowned. “Okay…at the risk of sounding rude, so what?”
Celestia shrugged. “It means that there’s no reversing the spell. You’re an alicorn for good.”
~*~*~*~*~
“Do you regret this?” Luna asked softly, nudging Twilight’s wings.
Twilight thought for a moment. “No, I don’t. It’s a big change, that’s for sure, but I don’t regret that it happened to me.” She looked at Luna with a smile on her face. “And even if I could reverse this, I don’t think I would.”
“Why not?” Luna pushed. “This change was forced on you. If you had the means to reverse the forced change, why wouldn’t you?”
Twilight looked to the sky. The sun was more than halfway below the horizon now, and the sky had taken a blue tint. “Well,” she said finally, “I’d keep it for you, Luna.”
Luna tilted her head sideways. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, before, while I was just a unicorn,” talk about things you never thought you’d say, “it seemed as if there was some sort of barrier between us. It did to me, at least.” Twilight fumbled for the words, struggling to convey her feelings. “Now, that barrier has vanished. I feel… connected to you. More than I did before.” Twilight grimaced. The explanation was woefully inadequate.
Luna just smiled and kissed Twilight’s cheek gently, sending goose bumps down Twilight’s back. “You’re such a silly filly,” she whispered. “I didn’t need that to love you. But it certainly is a plus.”
Twilight smiled and leaned her head against the darker alicorn’s body. “I’m glad you understand,” she said quietly. “So where do we go from here?”
Luna thought for a moment. “Do we have to go anywhere?” she finally asked. “We have all the time in the world. Quite literally, in fact.”
Twilight blinked and tilted her head. “What?”
“Didn’t Celestia tell you?” Luna smiled impishly. “You’re an alicorn now, by all indication. You have all the powers ‘Tia and I have.”
“Okay…?”
“Twilight,” Luna’s tone quickly became more serious, “you have all of eternity stretching before you. You’re immortal.”
The prospect hit Twilight like a buck to the chest. “E-eternity?”
“Yes. Your natural life will extend forever.” The blue alicorns face twisted into a grimace as she added, “Unless somepony succeeds in killing you.”
“You know as well as I do that my death by somepony’s hand is unlikely at best now,” Twilight murmured in Luna’s ear. “You don’t have to worry about that.”
“I hope so,” Luna murmured back. “I couldn’t bear to be without you.”
Twilight returned the princess’s kiss on the cheek, and then stuck her tongue out playfully. “I love you too.” Still, something bothered Twilight. Living forever had its downside. Pain and worry clutched at her heart as she thought of her friends naturally dying off while she remained frozen in time.
“You’re thinking about your friends,” Luna said quietly. “I can see it on your face.”
A single tear escaped from Twilight’s eye. “I’ll be without them, Luna. They’ll die, but I won’t.”
Luna nuzzled the distressed alicorn gently. “Twilight, your friends have long lives ahead of them. And I’ll be here for you, always.”
“Thank you,” Twilight whispered.
The sun had almost completely vanished beneath the horizon. The two alicorns were silent for a while, looking across Ponyville and the surrounding area. Even from this distance, they could see the activity on Sweet Apple Acres drawing to a close. The waning light cast a red glow across their orchard as three small dots (Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom, Twilight assumed) walked toward the farmhouse, retiring for the day.
Princess Luna was the first to break the silence. “What does Applejack think?”
“Hmmm? Think about what?”
Luna jerked her head back towards Twilight’s room, where the midnight blue alicorn had recently arranged some of her own belongings. Twilight’s room was now furnished with a wide, detailed map of Equestria, a golden telescope that was stamped with the royal insignia, and various other trinkets from the palace. “This. Us.”
Twilight raised her eyebrow at Luna. “Do you really need to ask? She’s been nothing but supportive of the entire thing, along with Rainbow Dash.”
Luna nodded. “Speaking of your rainbow-colored friend, thank her for what she did earlier, won’t you?”
~*~*~*~*~
After their meeting with Princess Celestia, Twilight and Luna had returned to Ponyville, calmly trotting through the entire town. They hadn’t even made it to the library before they drew a crowd of gaping ponies.
“Is that Princess Luna? But who’s she with?”
“Celestia help us, it’s another alicorn!”
“But look!” Roseluck’s voice had risen above the crowd, and she pointed a hoof at Twilight’s flank. “Her cutie mark!”
“Twilight?!”
Twilight and Luna had exchanged glances, both looking extraordinarily helpless. Rainbow Dash, however, was on the scene in seconds.
“Alright, everypony, listen up!” she cried, hovering over the alicorn couple. “There’s been a lot of major stuff that’s happened over the past several hours, and you should all know what that stuff was!”
So Rainbow Dash proceeded to give her epic rendition of the past battle, beginning with Shadow Star’s hostile takeover of Twilight’s body and ending with the tyrant’s defeat. Tactfully, she left out the part about the black gemstone that was situated in Twilight’s room behind several magical wards. The crowd was enthralled by Rainbow Dash’s story, gasping and cheering when appropriate.
“And that,” Rainbow Dash concluded, “is the whole story!”
“Wow, Twilight, you’re amazing!”
“Yeah!”
“Can I feel your wings? They look different than a pegasus pony’s wings.”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash bellowed again. “There will be enough time for you all to bombard Twilight with your attentions later. Right now, how about we let the hero of Ponyville and her marefriend have some rest, huh?”
A deathly silence spread over the crowd at that point. Everypony looked at each other.
“Marefriend?”
“But they’re both mares!”
“Yeah, and what’s yer point?” Applejack had pushed and shoved her way through the crowd until she stood in front of the two alicorns. “Twi’, Princess Luna,” she nodded respectfully, and then wheeled around to face the crowd. “Who gives a flyin’ hayfeather if they’re both mares? Why should somethin’ as silly as gender dictate who can love who?” Applejack stamped her hoof against the ground. “If ya’ll don’t like it, well, then that’s just too darned bad, ain’t it?”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash pitched in, landing next to the orange pony. “It isn’t as strange as you think, anyway!”
“RD, do ya think we should tell ‘em?”
“Why tell when we can just show?” As soon as the words left Rainbow Dash’s mouth, she tackled the orange pony and kissed her passionately, right in front of the entire crowd.
“Woohoo!” some pony that sounded suspiciously like Pinkie Pie yelled from the back. The crowd erupted into cheers as Rainbow Dash and Applejack grinned at Twilight and Luna.
“Ya’ll can thank us later.”
~*~*~*~*~
“That surprised even me,” Twilight said with a giggle. “I didn’t expect my friends to come out that way.”
“It certainly was astounding,” Luna agreed. “But the crowd seemed to love it.”
Twilight nodded, gazing up at the sky. The sun was now completely below the horizon, and the sky began to darken.
Luna began to stand up, brushing herself off and stretching her legs. “Before we left the palace,” she said idly, “I asked ‘Tia a favor.”
“Oh?” Twilight had a puzzled look on her face. “What would that be?”
“Well, it’s been so long since I’ve really fulfilled my duties,” the dark blue alicorn replied, flaring her wings out. “I asked her to not raise the moon tonight. I’ve decided that I’m going to do it.”
“Oh, wow! That’s great, Luna!” Twilight smiled up at her marefriend.
“But, you know,” Luna trailed off, feigning sadness. “There are so many stars in my night sky. It’s a lot for one pony to handle.”
Twilight’s eyes grew wide.
“So I figured that I would ask a pony whose name was fitting for this time of day,” Luna continued, “to help me bring out the stars. This pony has to be able to use magic, fly, and be strong and smart enough to do both.”
Twilight let out a small squee as Luna turned and gazed at her.
“Twilight Sparkle,” she addressed the purple alicorn formally, “will you lend us your strength and help us raise the stars?”
Quashing the urge to bounce around and scream yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes, Twilight jumped to her hooves and bowed. “I would be honored.”
The two ponies tensed their muscles, spread their wings, and jumped off the balcony. They soared into the twilight sky, spreading the night sky for everypony across Equestria.
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Well this was a good story.
A nice ending.
But it seems the story is still marked incomplete?
Wow! Sad to see it end but I can't wait to see what else you will write.
288726
Hmmm. *switches story to complete*
While I'm here, I'd like to thank everyone that's been following this story. This was a blast to write for you guys (and believe me, I DID write it for you guys.)
Special thanks to: Gwenio, NotATree, Fulgor Ignis, quillsaga, AzureKaRyu, Craterfist, Anonymo, Joseph Raszagal, PonyofTacos, Mister Morden, Aveira, fiskefyren, Draven Eclipse, MuzzledElk, and the other avid people that have been commenting on this story. You guys have influenced the outcome more than you think.
I guess this brings Star Gazing to a close. If you guys have any other ideas that you've really wanted done, PM me with the details or something. I have no idea where I'm going from here, so I need direction.
I love you all, as always!
A sweet and well deserved ending for a great story!
A great story. It has been my honor to have read it.
Damn. Just, damn this so (gibbering for lack of words to describe)
Take a well deserved break - I'll be waiting for anything you decide to write in the future 
All my favorite things rolled into one - TwiLuna, Alicorn Twi, just to name a few. And fast updates! Hoo boy, I check and poof! there's another one
lovely!
a short story with twiluna (third best ship), twilight becoming an alicorn (badass twi is best twi) and world-saving action, without getting un-canon for the characters (besides maybe that they are all to seem lesbians xD ).
okay, now to the more important point as writer: Character development is okay, i would say B-. Somtimes you were going to fast or jumping ahead, when a part could have needed more love. Example: The corruption of Twilight ist the worst part of your whole story. We get not much explanation why she acts like she does.
".
The way of using adjectives is very nice, just right to describe what and how you wanted it, without me imagining "boriiiiiiing
for conclusion and repeating: lovely :D
288806
When you say send ideas, do you mean ideas for a follow-up to Star Gazing and/or ideas for a new story?
289041
Either or. A sequel isn't out of the question. I wouldn't start on it right away, of course...
Ah a happy ending, great job.
Hmm, I'm coming away with some mixed thoughts.
The build up of the story up until Twilight and Shadow Star's battle was done well, and I liked the dark tones that it had. With Twilight roaming her mind and running into twisted versions of her friends and having to get past them in order to get the keys that she was looking for was an enjoyable read. The story before that was rather cute. I highly enjoyed the party scene where they all got drunk xD very funny.
When Luna and Celestia started battling each other, that caught me off guard. I was not expecting that at all. How quickly they seemed to go at each other kinda bugged me, but otherwise it was an awesome twist there. It was epic to see them go at it.
Then Twilight showed up and her battle with Shadow Star started and then the story picked up every cliche that one can in a good guy vs. bad guy fight right down to when Luna told Twilight not to die on her and then she suddenly found the strength to completely overwhelm Shadow Star. I felt like I was watching an episode of Bleach and Ichigo was about to lose then Orihime yells out her famous line and then BOOM the fight is somehow won by our hero when he then suddenly finds all this strength to over poser the enemy,,,*sigh* I digress. I was sitting here wondering what about the Elements of Harmony? Why wasn't it suggested or thought about? It's been shown that the elements can do things and have power that the princesses don't have/can't do. Meh.
The ending...it seemed very rushed and forced in some spots. However, one thing I did like about the ending was the very end. Where Luna and Twilight fly into the night sky to craft the night together, I actually found that very touching.
Over all, despite being disappointed with most of the ending, I really did enjoy reading this story and I think you did a good job overall, very well done.
Have a good one. *Thumb Up* 4/5
289209
For the Elements of Harmony, one of the princesses' would have needed to fetch them (or maybe Celestia, we have never seen Luna open the door after all). And do so before the fight was over.
I know that I over use this but..
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzyv4n9j9F1r7vxaa.gif
288806static3.fjcdn.com/comments/Bon-bon+is+the+name+of+the+pony+on+the+left+_25bf578a22f8099a7dcccb87adb78484.jpg
That was unnecessary. It should be us thanking you for giving FIMFiction this story.
DAT ENDING
yes, this was good
289046
idea 1) backstory on the corruption (starting with what to call it)
idea 2) something with dragon twilight (cause i'm in the mood for twi-dragon)
289601
I SAID PRIVATE MESSAGE!
289209
Actually, I know exactly where you're coming from. This was my first complete story, and while I was writing it near the end, I knew that even though a lot of the stuff made sense in my head, some might not understand how I made the jump from one thing to another.
If I were to grade myself on this, I'd only give myself an average C, C+ at most. i.e. stiff, unnatural dialogue, flagrant holes, etc. I like the way I write descriptively, but character interaction just didn't click for me here.
I can write characters being angry at each other (I'm more like Shadow Star than I'd care to admit), but affectionate interaction keeps escaping me. I am glad you enjoyed the story, but know that it won't be the best you'll see from me. I shall continue to improve, and produce better stories in the future!
289695
huh, so you did. my bad
*checks the reffered comment*
do you still want those ideas as a PM
He hath invoaked Flutterrage! Run for the Everfree it's your only chance!
I agree that the very end was really touching I also liked the way that dash handled the gawkers that was kinda fun. I wonder just how much trouble Twilight and Luna would have with thier relationship. While Ponyvill may be appeased i can't see the majority of the Canterlot uppercrust letting this issue go so easily, nor do I see the govermental buricrats letting Celestia's fast thinking go without responce so there is plenty of possiblity for a sequal should the author decide to write one.
288806 Now that the story is done it leaves me with multiple feelings. I really loved the ending and it made me happy to see Shadow Star get what was coming to her. That and the fact that Twilight and Luna were together in the end. So a lot of happiness. However it also leaves me a bit sad at the fact that the story is indeed over. I really enjoyed it and you have become one of my favorite authors on here. You pumped out fantastic chapters in rapid succession. Whenever I would get on and see a new chapter I would get excited and pretty much ignore anything I was doing previously to read it.
As for story ideas I shall think one or two up and send them your way. Allons-y!
Ah good, an ending that is not crushingly sad that involves Twi/Luna and ascension. Though I personally would have vouched for a more...steamy ending if you know what I mean.
HINT TO THE MOTHERFUCKING HINT CLOPFICTION WRITERS!
Ahem, anyway while I enjoyed this story as a whole greatly, there are a few nitpicks I have to pointlessly yammer on about. One; descriptive prose could have used a bit more work and it almost seemed dumbed down and censored at some points. Two; tiredly predictable character reactions, I have no idea how this could be remedied but I practically sang along with the non-protagonist ponies as they spat out cliched lines. Three; the reveal scene in which they told the town that not only Twilight was a princess, but was a lesbian with another princess and had saved equestria nearly four times seemed to have needed a bit more work, and in the end it felt weirdly rushed as if you ran out of time. Reffering to my last point, I basically sang along with the crowd as they cringed their lines out through agonized smiles.
Well, that would be about all I can find and by no means take this as a bad thing, take it as a template to modify your prose a bit. I know that a good 90% of the shit I say is hypocritical when looking at either of my own stories, but I like to leave something meaningful with storys that leave something meaningful with me.
TL;DR: HEY LOOK I CAN USE A KEYBOARD OLOLOLOLOL
Sadly this does not go on my fav twiluna shipfics (not that it was bad!), it to me just felt way to forward. I kinda guessed most of what would happen along the way, which made the story a bit boring at times and the whole 'NMM return thing' is just a bit to overly used for my taste (though this was the best version of them I've read so far).
But beside all that nip picking I enjoyed the story overall beside a few things here and there, but nonetheless thank you for a lovely story and for supporting my still top fav shipping <3
An amazing end to an amazing story. Too bad there arnt any more like this.
292380
TwiLuna group, now.
I can't help it. When Luna asked Twilight to help her with placing the stars in the night sky, the first thing that came to mind was "Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer"
.
"Twilight Sparkle, with your horn so bright, won't you help me put the stars in the sky tonight?"
A great story and wonderful ending. I had quite a bit of fun tracking and reading this
.
Uhm, no.
Before I get into this, I'd like to say your writing style is excellent, and save for a few grammatical errors and questionable word choices, the story flowed quite nicely. I have no problems with your conduct.
On the other hoof, I cannot stand the story itself. First of all, you've written two stories here. I'm sure you've read Spark, which is a strikingly similar TwiLuna story, except Celestia is the possessed one, and not Twilight. As I commented on that fic months ago, I would have rather you written the adventure with the romance, just the romance, or just the adventure. Having the romance first, then switching the genre entirely in the middle of the fic annoys me terribly. I'll give you that there was slight continuity at the end, but not enough to make up for a drop off of the romance tag for half the story.
Now, (running the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, as I did this when I was much less experienced) the one thing I truly cannot stand, especially in Twilight x Alicorn fics, is when someone immortalizes Twilight. A relevant quote from TheGreyPotter here, is that when you give alicorn status to Twilight, your story has no ending. 'Happily ever after' is a lazy way to end a fic, and I was literally muttering curses while reading the Epilogue.
I disliked this fic. But with that said, I commend you for a job well done on prose and writing style.
Read the rest of this story pretty much in one go. Liked it a lot. Espacially the scenes that played in Twilights mind.
Didn't like the battle scenes much. I think at least the element of magic would come up with something more elegant than magic blades. Too long for my taste too.
All in all great fic!
absolutly awesome, i dont get why i couldnt bring myself to read this until now, this is definitely one of my favorites
Haha I read it again, still brings this goofy wide, wide wide grin to my face
I really wanted to share my thoughts with you about this story. But I'm not certain whether what I'm about to write down makes sense, as I'm not entirely sure what to think about it myself.
Let me start bluntly - your story was good. Better than good, even. But it had its drawbacks.
And her fight with Twilight - been there, done that. A dozen times. 
The ending on the other hoof was rather touching, which I congratulate you on. Twilight transcending mortality sure is sad (immortality is a curse rather than a blessing), but she won't be alone, will she? And that scene about painting the night sky - a very moving final touch.
For the first few chapters you decided with the cute theme which I personally found entertaining. Then the story dropped into dark theme. I have nothing against it, but in my personal opinion the change was too abrupt. After the dark part come the epic fight chapters. Which again I have nothing against, well maybe except for the cliche portrayal of Shadow Star. You really couldn't make her more of your average ego-boasting, talkative and arrogant badnick even if you tried.
Reverting back to your story - it felt like you couldn't sometimes hold the flow together. It felt like rafting down a river. While the river is mostly calm and peaceful, there are three very high and almost vertical waterfalls - when you change the aforementioned themes of your fic. I have to admit that both the dark part and even the epic fight scene felt rather calm and slow, but the change between them was just so sudden it felt a little unjustified.
I hope you forgive me for my words if they sounded harsh. I really see a potential in your writing (as I stated in the beginning of my ranting, your story is better than good), and if you polished those aspects you could certainly improve beyond good.
On a final note, I have to admit that I subconsciously compared your story to "The Party Hasn't Ended" by butterscotchsundae (a link for anypony interested: click) which may have depreciate my view of your story. The setting in both stories seems quite similar. There's a different shipping, of course, but in both fics you have the a nightmarish foe to defeat with the power of love (how sappy does it sound
). Of course I didn't mention it to indicate that you copied BS's idea or anything like it. Just to excuse myself, if you find my critique unjust, that I subconsciously compared your story to a piece of written art by which your story might have lost some of its touch. 
For that I am sorry.
Oh, and one final note: the ending sure doesn't sound final - if you left it open for possible continuations, I will gladly read them when/if they are written.
289046 I could write a sequel for you
this was probably one of the most well done TwiLuna/ Alicorn Twilight fics I've ever read. definitely going to help me write the one I have in progress
Wonderfully wonderful job. Always nice to read a good romance.
Well, the fic was well written, and i liked the beginning.
But the whole tone change was jarring, and i really disliked the turning into alicorn thing.
All in all, it's two halves or two separate stories, glued together at the middle.
bradsburgers.com/images/chuck%20norris%20approves.gif
well done, a great story all around!
As Applejack would say, "Hoo, doggy! That there was some rip-roarin' story!"
Good characterization, pretty faithful to the source material, and nicely creative on just where Nightmare Moon was biding her time. Even the spelling and grammar errors were few and far between. Overall, I'd give it a B+. Keep up the good work.
Fantastic work! While Twilight x Twilight is my OTP, there's still room for a good(or in this case, great) Twiluna fanfic. Also while I felt it was a bit rushed, the nightmares brainwashing was still very interesting.
Wow.. I really loved this story! absolutely great!
The battle was also very well written. ow.. wait.. everything was.
Would it be too much to hope for a sequel? Considering this story is SO AWESOME
Generally well-told story here. Thank you for sharing it!
Negative points:
You didn't quite succeed in selling Twilight's initial acceptance of Shadow Star to me, and unfortunately, this is sort of the event on which the entire conflict is based. I don't specifically have a suggestion as to how it could have been done better, but I do think Twi wouldn't have accepted the tutelage of the sinister voice without more misgivings. It would be different perhaps if she hadn't been leery and rebelling ever since the beginning of the story, if she actually was portrayed as having some kinship with it, but after arguing with it the whole first third of the book, you are forced to hang the entire turn of her mindset on the Nightmare's final argument, which was not memorable and not insightful enough to make Twilight's mistake feel organic. Also, the consistent use of the adjective "conscious" as a noun was jarring. You either mean "conscience" or "consciousness", and most of the time if not all you wanted the latter.
Neutral points:
The grimdark gore was not to my taste (even seated as it was in a fantasy sequence) but this cannot be said to be an objectively negative point; you went beyond the call in warning us, after all.
Positive points, earning you the up thumb:
Wonderfully sweet Twiluna passages when we get them. So much love here. And, despite a few distracting and unneeded light profanities in the final conflict scene, you did a great job in conveying a very real sense of exhilaration and triumph. You seem to be quite good at the emotional hook, and when your reader actually feels a pang of dread at a particularly ominous chapter title, it's a sign that you've done a good job fostering emotional investment in your story, and that was definitely the case here.
Can't fave for reasons explained in "Neutral Points" but definitely a thumbs-up. Thanks for sharing!
Ah this one. I remember this. This was the first story that I read that involved Twilight becoming an Alicorn and TwiLuna. I can truthfully say this was the story that got me into both of those things. The same thing with the Dark/Grimdark. Thank you Konseiga.
You deserve all my hearts
I found this to one of the best stories I have read so far, and I read pretty much nothing but twilina
. So I must say this was excellent I don't know what people are talking about say B And C i would rate this A. I absolutely loved that it was a twiluna plus na alicorn twilight my favorite combo EVER. I believe that you do need to add to this or write a sequel it was absolutely fantastic you deserve that thumbs up from chuck Norris. Please keep writing I LOVE it XD. You get every good Twilight emoticon. 
I really enjoyed this up until the last chapter. I have no idea why, but it lost its charm.
Screw it. I can't find anything wrong with it so I'm blaming myself.
1750032
Nigga, I wrote this like a year ago.
A different sort of ending, but a very cute one :3 good job!
1750110
Nidda, it wasn't a reply to you :P
Anyhow, I know how long time ago you wrote this, I just gave my guess as to what it was ^^ I only started reading this story today(and as a direct result: finished now)
Why did I feel like watching a Dragon Ball Z episode? Hmmm?
Great story anyhow
Awesome!
I haven't finished this fic yet, (I've actually only barely started) but this is already the best characterization of Fluttershy I think I've ever read. Where most authors write her as a completely spineless push-over, but really energetic when it comes to caring for others, you've managed to write her as timid, but still willing to do what needs doing, while staying kind the whole way through.
Everytime I think about this story it just reminds me of how I got into Fanfiction. Being a member of the site for over 2 years now, this was one of the first stories that I read, I remember seeing in the features with only about 40 likes, and such an amazing story.
You really wrote an amazing piece of art, Thank you, you wonderful soul