Man vs. Pony: Equestria

by ThatClosetBrony

Prologue: Don't Mess With Hobos

Man vs. Pony: Equestria

By: ThatClosetBrony

A figure wet from the rain scurried down the street, clutching what appeared to be something of great importance under his blue raincoat. He muttered to himself as he disregarded everyone else on street, which naturally turned several heads. Not that he cared.

“Come on Richard, the studio’s just a couple of yards away, don’t mess up now!”

As he approached the big, glowing, familiar words that proudly stated, “Nui Studios”, he visibly became less stressed. The figure burst into the building announcing, “I remembered this time!”

A person with short, red hair and brown eyes in a green sweater and jeans strode up to the man in the blue raincoat and said, “Good job. Now have some hot chocolate, we don’t need you catching a cold, now do we?” while handing him a paper cup filled with sweet, hot goodness.

“Thanks, Neil. You’re a good friend.” The man took a sip, and felt his eyes tearing up. He began coughing and sucked in some nice, cool air to cool his tongue and throat. “Well, you were right about it being hot chocolate, at least.”

Neil laughed, then turned around and announced, “Everyone! We have the designs, so get to work! We need these turned into models pronto! This game won’t develop itself!” He faced the person again and said, “Go home and get some rest. You’re the only guy here that can draw something halfway decent, so we’ve had to push you pretty hard. So shoo! Leave! Sleep!”

“Only if you promise nothing will happen to my babies while I’m gone. If anyone lays a finger on one of my drawings with the intent of damaging it, I’ll burn this place down with you guys inside of it,” the man threatened before turning around and leaving the studio waving cheerily. He then began heading back home, thinking about how lucky he was for a young Nui Studios to run into a couple of his drawings that he put up on deviantART. Since they didn’t really have anyone with good design ideas, and nobody that could draw very well, they asked him if he wanted to join their studio. Being a gamer, he naturally agreed. He looked up, noticing that it was still raining (he tended to zone out sometimes, either recalling memories or creating fantasies), and started running in an attempt to get home before he turned into a popsicle from the cold. Naturally, something went wrong.

In the form of a hobo.

That he ran into.

Who was now on the ground howling in pain.

“Sir! Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you! Do you need any help? I’ll-“

While the man was profusely apologizing, the hobo got up and slapped the back of the man’s head. “’S alright, boy! See? Yer overreacting.” Then, as the hobo saw the man about to leave, he said, “That don’t mean you’re off the hook, boy! The least you could do ’s offer to escort me back to meh alleyway or somefink! Youth these days! Now follow me, ’s this way!”

The odd, old hobo took off, with the man right on his tail. They weaved their way around the city, shoving through masses of people along the way, finally stopping at an alley that looked no different than the other couple dozen they saw. The hobo turned to face the man, and said, “Welcurm to meh humbl’ dwellin’. Make yerself at home.” The man looked around, finally spotting what appeared to be the cleanest, least full, least vandalized dumpster and sat on it. “Now then, since tha’s all settled, what yer want to do, Richard?” He heard the man gasp. “Now, if yer really a brony, look me in the eyes an’ tell meh who I is.”

The man’s eyes were wide open, and his mouth was hanging open. Only two thoughts were running through his mind: How does he know my name, and how does he know I’m a brony? The only people who knew the man was a brony were Neil and a couple of other close friends. He was, after all, a closet brony. As his mind finished rebooting, he looked into the hobo's eyes, and realized that they were…red and yellow. He looked down a bit and saw that the hobo also had a snaggletooth. The man also noticed that the hobo’s coat looked like it had been sewn from a body and two different arms, and that his jeans were equally as mismatched. He hurriedly searched through what little knowledge he had on MLP: FIM (he wasn’t that serious of a brony-he didn’t watch about half the episodes, and knew little to nothing about fanon characters). Only one being seemed to fit the description. “You’re…Discord!”

The hobo laughed. “I guess that means I won’t need to talk in that way anymore. Well then, my friend, do you want to go on an adventure?” Discord saw the man trying to sneak away, and grabbed him by the feet. “I won’t take no for an answer! I do enjoy some good chaos.” He took ahold of the man’s hair with his other hand, and ignoring his protests and pleas, stretched him like a rubber band. “Now, for extra chaos, you won’t remember a thing about Equestria when you get there.” The man’s eyes widened as he started to scream “NO” as loudly and as quickly as possible, while a dreamy look overtook Discord’s face. “Ah yes, amnesia. It’s just like that cherry on top of a scoop of ice cream.” And with that, he let go and shot the man far into the distance. Discord tracked his progress (and his “NONONONONONONONONONO”s) up until the man hit a pink cloud. With a loud pop, both the cloud and the man disappeared.

Discord smiled. Humans were the best thing to hit existence ever since he learned that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were immortal, which meant that he could annoy them for all eternity. They were so vulnerable, so easily fooled, and oh-so wonderfully chaotic. He snapped his fingers, conjuring up a couch, a HDTV, and some popcorn. “Ohhohohoho, this is going to be gooood.”

Author's Note:

Hey! You made it. Congratulations.
This is my first fic, so please try not to be so harsh. However, HELPFUL constructive criticism will be appreciated. I'm currently planning three branches for this universe. I will finish each branch before moving on to the next. Also, I'm going to write the prologue in 3rd person, but the fic in 1st. You've been warned.
School is starting soon, so updates will only be every 1-3 weeks. Sorry!
Any editors/prereaders/cover art would be greatly appreciated, message me if you're interested.
Anyone know how to insert photos in a story?
Also, does each chapter have to be over 1,000 words?
UPDATE: Okay, seriously? Another dislike? Hating on my story is okay, but I can't improve unless you tell me WHY!

Comments

[Exemter]

Yes, each chapter is generally over 1000 words.

[Xarsor]

Chapters don't have to be over 1000 words each. You can have 1000 chapters that are 1 word each and you can submit it.
Although that would be stupid

[Xarsor]

Oh and there is a button which allows you to add pictures to your story

[Hawkx1]

Unless your planning on him eventually remembering he's a brony why make him one at all you could have him not know anything about MLP. Hopefully you take the fact that he is a brony and reintroduce it at some point in the story