As he lies on his death bed, Hanson Parry idly waits for his own time. At the request of his young granddaughter, he recounts the stories of the five best friends he has ever had and about the love of his life.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Dang it. I am always such a sucker for these tearjerkers!
This is great =), old age is scary thing to think of but this was quite good.
302415>>302475
I'm glad you both really enjoyed it. So much
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Oh damn you and all the sad fic writers.
Great story, i really enjoyed it.
I'm really glad that everyone has enjoyed it. I wasn't really planning on it being sad but that's just how it worked out
Regardless, I'm really happy that everyone's enjoyed it
Short and straight to the point.. excellent work !
My analysis: A far more "heart warming" tale than My Little Dashie.
There are a few minor issues I think could be fixed:
1. Some of the dialogue is repetitive. You use some of the same lines a few times, nothing a quick skin can't fix though.
2. Perhaps change how you bring up the different characters? The way they are introduced by him asking who she wants to hear about next sounds kind of like a list.
Other than that I see no reason not to add this to the High Quality Fictions group.
325245
Thanks for that comment. I must be doing something right if I can get that kind of analysis.
I'm going to look into those things whenever I can get the time (right now I'm working on the new chapters for The House on Mayberry Hilland another little one-shot I've thought of) and see what I can do. Thanks again for that
The quality of the writing is excellent. OTOH, the story spends most of its time telling us things we already know about characters we already know, so that I haven't gained much from my 5,000-word investment. (I also have a pet peeve about stories that say how loyal Dash is, or how honest Applejack is - because they aren't; Dash is probably the least-loyal of the 6, and Applejack, I think, has told more lies in the show than anyone else, and even made a Pinkie promise without intending to keep it.)