Chapter XIX - The Great and Powerful Annoyance Part III
The Adventures of Damon Lipton
Chapter XIX - The Great and Powerful Annoyance Part III
Damon sighed to himself as he sipped from his cup of apple juice. Sitting beside him was Pinchy who was chomping away at her sandwich, still oblivious to what had just happened. Trixie was sitting on the other side of Damon, shifting uncomfortably every now and again as Berry continued to shoot daggers at her.
The picnic had mostly been in silence, save for a few words from Damon to Berry and vice versa. To Trixie’s credit, she had remained quiet completely. As he took another bite from his sandwich, Damon leant back and looked up into the sky, thinking about how to fix the mess he had gotten himself into.
Part one of my punishment… he thought. I dread to think what the other part is…. Maybe I can wait till tomorrow to ask Master Kalanar what I should do, or maybe inform the princess.
“Bit for your thought?” Berry giggled softly, noticing the lich staring into space.
“Hmm? Oh it’s nothing… just trying to think how I can get out of this mess, and get rid of my extra baggage.”
Damon indicated Trixie with his thumb, making the unicorn huff and glare at the lich.
“How dare you refer to your mistress as ‘extra baggage’! You insolent familiar!”
Damon groaned and laid on the blanket, bringing his bony hands over his face, “When will you get it through your skull? I’m not your familiar.”
Trixie snorted, “It’s a bad sign when Trixie’s familiar starts to display the five stages. Perhaps she will just replace you.”
“Yes, please do,” Damon grumbled.
“However, Dorian the wise told me how troublesome familiars can be on their first summon. So for now, Trixie will keep at it! You will obey me by sundown.”
“Dorian the wise...?” Damon deadpanned and roaned louder. “I hate that god so much…”
“Uncle Bones?” Pinchy asked as she clambered onto his chest. “Do you want to play a game with me?”
“Sure, whatcha fancy?” Damon smiled, tickling under her chin with a finger.
Pinchy giggled and squirmed, “I brought my frisbee!”
“Alright!” Damon grinned, sitting up. “Lets get—”
“Familiar, you may not ‘play games’. You are to take Trixie back to her carriage right now,” Trixie interrupted.
“And I’m the Emperor of Cyrium, like I’m going to do that,” Damon replied, sticking his tongue out at her.
Trixie’s eye twitched and she gritted her teeth as Damon stood up and walked a few feet away from the basket. Pinchy giggled as she rummaged in the basket and pulled out a bright red frisbee, holding it in her mouth as she darted away to get a good distance from Damon.
Damon clapped his hands and readied himself before blinking, “Uh… how do you play this game anyway?”
Pinchy merely grinned and cocked her head back before grunting and throwing the frisbee towards Damon. He was surprised at the throw and lept to catch it, assuming that was what he was meant to do.
Sadly, Damon misjudged the throw.
The frisbee collided with his skull, making the lich howl in pain and held his forehead. Pinchy’s ears flattened, thinking she had actually hurt him until he started to flail dramatically.
“Oh no! I’m wooooooounded!” ” Damon wailed. “I’ll never play the piano again!”
Berry chuckled and shook her head at his antics, looking inside the basket to try and find her camera in order to take a snapshot of the moment.
Trixie tapped her hoof on the ground impatiently. She was determined to get Damon to follow her, no matter what it took. And she had an idea, a very risky one, but one she was willing to try.
Pinchy ran up to Damon who was rolling on the floor, moaning in fake agony, earning the giggles of other foals who had been watching and the smiles of their parents. As Pinchy approached, Damon sat up to look at her.
Minus his head.
The parents jaws dropped as the foals watched in fascination. Trixie’s eyes widened and she backed up slightly as the headless skeleton patted where his head should be.
“I say!” Damon called from the tree. “Could you be a dear, Pinches. Kindly guide my body to me?”
Pinchy giggled and helped the body up, walking behind it and using her front legs to guide the body around as he fumbled in front of it.
Berry face hoofed but couldn't hide her smile. She’d seen the trick before and knew it was one of Pinchy’s favorites. Damon was still in control of his body, he just pretended to not be for the fillies amusement. Berry snickered as the other foals suddenly darted over and started to help Pinchy.
The parents watched with uneasiness at first but soon smiled and chuckled as the skeleton started to wander aimlessly around after the cries of direction from the foals.
Trixie merely sat there on her rump, watching with a dumbfounded expression at the display ahead of her. She had seen a quick flash of light before Damon had sat up headless and deduced that he had cast a spell that teleported his head to the tree. What she couldn’t understand was how normal everyone was acting.
This… town is mad! she thought to herself. Trixie’s familiar just decapitated itself and they’re acting as if his is normal!
She continued to study the scene in front of her as the foals guided the body to the tree where Damon rolled out of, landing in his grip and plonked his skull into place, albeit backwards.
The foals all giggled as Damon demanded to know why they were laughing at him, pretending not to notice he was facing the wrong way.
“Well, fine. Be like that! Not telling a poor, old lich…” Damon sniffled as he took a few steps, then ‘realized’ his predicament.
“Egad!” he exclaimed dramatically, making Berry face hoof out of disbelief. “I’m facing the wrong way! What should I do?!”
The foals all began to shout answers to him and he raised a hand up for silence, “I’ve got it! Okay you lot, when I say ‘now’. I want you to all say, ‘Dorian is a smelly old fart’.”
The foals giggled as their parents raised their brows at the lich, Damon ignored them and coughed.
“Okay?” he paused as they watched him intensively. “Now.”
“Dorian is a smell old fart!” they all cheered loudly.
Dorian blinked as he looked up from the chess board he was looking at on his mountain top perch, “Strange… I could’ve sworn I heard someone encouraging the youth… to insult me.”
He glared into the distance but eventually shrugged and returned to the yeti he was playing chess with.
“Now, where were we old chap?”
The yeti roared and moved a single piece forwards, Dorian stared at the board and slowly glared up at the yeti.
“Well played, sir… well played.”
dorian and the yeti began to reset the chess board as a stone with chalk engravings scratched into it changed.
Dorian: 0
Yeti: 1057
“Right! This time I will win!” Dorian declared triumphantly.
The yeti simply rolled its eyes and moved a pawn forwards two spots.
Damon’s head suddenly spun very fast on his spine, making the foals gasp as it finally stopped and locked into place. Damon gave his skull a pat down before hollering in joy.
“You did it! You saved me noggin’!” he cried. “Consider yourselves all honorary mages!”
The foals cheered and jumped up and down as Berry laughed, placing the camera away after taking the photos she had need to take. Damon picked Pinchy up as the other foals ran back to their parents and returned to his seat on the blanket. As he lifted his cup of apple juice to his lips, Pinchy ran over to collect her frisbee and Berry smirked at the lich.
“Really, Damon?” Berry asked. “Was that little ‘show’ needed?”
“What can I say? I’m just a natural performer,” he grinned.
She shook her head and smiled, lifting her cup to her lips. Trixie scowled at Damon, tapping her hoof more impatiently into the ground to try and gain his attention.
“Yes? Miss impatient,” Damon asked.
“You will, carry Trixie home. This instant!”
“This again? Why should I?”
“Well you—” she started before Damon placed a hand over her mouth, interrupting her.
“And without using the rubbish ‘I’m a familiar’ nonsense,” he said.
Trixie snorted and smirked at him. Damon didn’t like the smirk, it was something about her eyes. Of all the ponies he had met, none of them had ever given such a disgusting smirk to him.
“If you do not carry Trixie home, Trixie will have to punish you.”
“Uncle Bones! Let’s play frisbee again!” Pinchy suddenly said as she rushed over with the toy in her mouth.
Damon watched as Trixie’s eyes locked onto the object and her smirk grew wider. He then felt a magic envelop the frisbee, invisible to the naked eye and instantly worked out what it was.
A fire charm.
He gritted his teeth and slowly stood up, “You’re a piece of work… you know that?”
“Damon?” Berry asked in concern.
“I’ll see you back at the house, Berry,” Damon replied. “Sorry, Pinches, I need to go.”
“Aww…” Pinchy pouted and sat on her rump in sadness.
Trixie smirked in victory as Damon walked over to her, waiting for him to pick her up. She suddenly yelped as she was lifted into the air by an unseen forced and slowly floated behind Damon.
“H-hey! Trixie commanded you to carry her!” she shouted.
“I am,” Damon retorted with a smug smirk. “You’re lucky I didn’t zap you for what you were going to do to her and her frisbee,” he growled. “Now shush up and lets get this over with.”
Trixie huffed and scrunched her nose at the mage as she rotated slowly in the air and followed after him. She glared at the townsfolk who watched her in confusion as she floated behind the mage, some of them snickering at her misfortune.
“Trixie feels humiliated…” she grumbled.
“Well, Trixie shouldn’t have made a deal with the bloody god of mischief!” Damon replied.
“Dorian the wise said you would say that! To try and deter Trixie from her goals!”
I’m going to kill her… he thought to himself.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Damon sighed. “We’re here.”
Trixie squeaked as she was dropped from his grip and landed on the ground with a thump. Damon chuckled to himself as he clicked his fingers, opening the door to her carriage for her and watched her walk in with a smug smirk.
Happy that she finally was happy, Damon started to head back towards Berry’s house.
Only to make a weird gurgled-yelp sound as he was suddenly stopped in his tracks and tugged backwards as a bang coming from the carriage sounded through the marketplace, followed by Trixie yelping in pain. He fell onto his backside and shook his head, looking behind him to see the aura of magic still connecting him and Trixie together. Damon slapped his forehead at forgetting and groaned as a dazed Trixie stumbled out of her home rubbing the back of her head and wincing.
“Are you alright?” he grumbled.
“You, imbecile!” Trixie shouted in anger. “What do you think you are playing at?!”
“Me?! You’re the idiot that got us into this mess!” Damon shouted back.
“This wouldn’t be a problem if you just obeyed me like a familiar should!” Trixie growled as she stomped up to the lich, glaring up at him.
By now, a crowd was gathering, curious to see what had gotten the lich and unicorn this hot under the collar.
“I’m NOT your bloody familiar! When will you learn that!” Damon shouted, his patience finally breaking as he leant inches away from Trixie’s face.
“Stop it!” Trixie commanded and stomped her hoof. “I am your mistress and you will obey me!”
Damon snapped. He went to throttle the mare but managed to restrain himself and held his hands in front of her, shaking violently as he made growled in frustration and suddenly ran over to a barrel with a roar and summoned a large amount of magic into his hand and incinerated the crate into nothing but ash with a blast of lightning, the impact of the spell created a loud rumbling sound
The crowd took a step back, deciding it best to let the lich cool off. Damon stood there panting, his body shaking. Trixie, smugly smirking, trotted over to his body and looked up at him.
“Enjoy your tantrum?”
“Bite me…” Damon growled.
“Trixie knew she is your mistress,” Trixie smugly stated. “Familiars are forbidden to hurt their masters.”
That, and the princesses, Master Kalanar… not to mention the town, would have my arse for it. If I still had one Damon thought.
“Or, I didn’t really fancy being sent to prison for murder.”
“Whatever, keep denying it, familiar,” Trixie replied with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Now, Trixie commands you to sort out our living arrangements, seeing as we cannot be apart.”
Damon groaned and walked over to a nearby house before starting to bang his head against it slowly.
This say can’t get any worse…
What no one knew, including Damon and Trixie, was the second shadow that had slowly slunk into Damon’s and fused with it, making the orignal shadow darker in colour.
Kalanar panted as he sprinted as fast as he could, leaping over fallen trees and rocks. In his right hand was a beautiful, gleaming longsword that was dancing with an icey blue aura. He hadn’t gotten much further from the castle when he had felt a chilling presence nearby and spun round, just in time to see a ball of shadow hide into the shadows of the trees.
Its large, round red eyes seemed to pierce into his very being.
He had carefully approached the spot, summoning his sword and readying a combat spell in his other hand when it had shot out and darted towards the town. Kalanar’s eyes had shot wide when he tried to identify the source of the magic but could not, only getting a dark signature from it that he didn’t recognize
But that wasn’t the worst thing.
The orb was fast. Faster than he could believe.
Kalanar became instantly concerned for the well being of Damon and Ponyville. Using some of his magic, he was able to send a orb of white light out into the air which floated alongside of him as he lept over another fallen tree.
“Princess Celestia,” he started. “I require your urgent assistance, I’ve discovered a very real and dangerous threat to your kingdom. Please hurry!”
The orb shone brightly as it recorded the elven mages voice before Kalanar nodded.
“Good,” he nodded at the orb and pointed in the direction of Canterlot. “Now, fly!”
The orb shot into the air and raced towards Canterlot as fast as it could. Kalanar returned his attention ahead of him as he continued to run, sweat dotting his brow as he came closer to the town.
“Hang in there, lad!” Kalanar panted. “I’m coming!”
The power he felt from the orbs was beyond that of Damon’s. And he feared that they could both exceed his own. And with amount of magic in the Equestrian air, he feared that the orb could prove to be too much for even the Princesses.
As Damon and Trixie walked through the town, the unicorn insisting she would walk this time.
There was a brief moment where Damon’s eyes briefly flickered from green...
... To red.
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Enjoy the cliffhanger
and new cover art (Well... edited cover art) 
Yup.
and Yup.
Woops, forgot a Yup.
Yup.
A piece of Nightmare Moon surviving to take possession of a protagonist to make them evil for a bit? A tad cliché yet not overly done to the point it's too cliché.
3834344 Can I get a bigger version of the smaller berry punch pick in your guys tv face screen.
3834507
I adore how people think its Nightmare Moon.
3834525 Dark shadow like substance, the castle where Nightmare Moon was defeated, possessing another to make them evil . . . yeah. Pretty adorable to think it's Nightmare Moon alright, because it would be entirely ugly to think something else would be made up of a shadowy substance, be in the castle where Nightmare Moon was defeated, and possessing someone to make them evil.
3834456
As he lifted his cup of apple juice to his lips
What? I thought he was only bones?
3834558
Down voting my comment, classy.
And also, yeah it is adorable. It's adorable to me because people just assume it is her without thinking outside the box that it might be someone else. However, the reason I responded to you is because you said I was being a tad cliche, something I've tried my best not to be with parts of this story.
Also, I apologize if you thought I was being rude to you in my first reply. It was unintentional.
3834596 On this site, however, it's actually unwise to assume that someone made their own villain, because most writers prefer to re-use the show's villains.
Is the villain smoke related? What color is it?
If blue/violet, 98% chance of Nightmare Moon.
If black, 97% chance of Sombra.
Is the villain a shapeshifter or emotion eater?
99.99% chance of changeling, 60% chance of Chrysalis.
3834596 Downvote? What're you talking about? I posted my comment and went back to watching people getting eaten in 'Attack on Titan'. Besides, who else are we to suspect if we don't know anything about Damon and where he came from? Triek? Sombra? Everyone hates Sombra because apparently he is a moron even though he had millennia old traps in place that nearly ensured his victory and was able to trap away an entire city for a thousand years with a spell that not even Celestia or Luna could break.
Also, if you don't want to sound rude when replying to someone don't use words like 'adorable' when not describing something that actually is adorable, like kittens or puppies. It makes you sound like a condescending ass.
i...I curse thee for making a cliffhanger! may thy burn in marshmellow hell
!.........anyway.....cant WAIT for the next part 
!
3834583
It doesn't matter, it's magic. Him not having a tongue, and being able to stick said object out of his face is COMPLETELY UNEXPLAINABLE! See? See?
3834596
Did I hear my name? No, wait, that was just you using it as an insult. I feel pleased and accomplished. Also, wasn't that evil-black-smokey thing from that episode... What was it called? The one when Rarity goes into the castle with Fluttershy and Fluttershy goes behind the banner thingy (Yeah... I have no idea why I remember that so much.)? Anyways, wasn't that like some left-over residue of NMM? Or was it her servant that stayed there after her banishment... uh... close enough, it's NMM. :D
God damit cliffhanger update quickly before i send you to taurterus
Uh-oh… somebody's gonna lay the SMACKDOWN on a pony… and I'm pretty sure I know what…
3834344 I don't think Pinchy would like seeing an image of her mother's behind being displayed on TV.
3834507 Eeeeeenope, ain't NMM I know who it is! Anyone who has read Mr101's stories will have a good guess too!
3834709
Well some may not know, but others who have read all of Mr101's stories would know about where he comes from, and who the mysterious villain could be! Including me
I just don't think you should jump to the conclusion that it was some cliche canon villain or something, anyways, it's not really all that big of a deal. No harm done to anyone.
So…Either Dorian implanted an override in Damon to cause some trouble/actually become Trixie's mindless familiar (GASP!
), or Damon's eye-flames glow red when he's reached the limits of restraint and patience.
Either way, someone (or some pony) is going to get the bad end of the deal.
3820258 That too, still anything could happen.
Honestly it could be that circle thing that he use to let the CMC play as a hockey puck, can't remember what its called. But really I have no idea.
kill her kill her kill her kill TRIXIE
3834596
Wait.... THIS SOUNDS FAMILIAR!
COULD IT BE?!? Are these shadows supposed to be the castle-guarding shadows Luna left behind before turning into NMM? If so, couldn't Luna just show up and make them behave themselves?
3835173 his phylactery is his broach (dont know if i spelled that right), what he has connecting his hood and robe.
3834798
Well looks like you just fixed your own inconsistenty.
Its Magic!
Personally, I really like this story. This is almost on par with something Jeff Dunham would do if his puppets were alive. I can't wait till the next chapter.
"Posse, ph, p p ph, pOsse, posse, How am I doing that with no lips?" Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
3835253 ah. Thank you.
3820258 So its a brooch (Which its actually called.)
He stuck his tongue out? I don't know if this is an error, or he if does actually still have tongue. 'Imagines Damon and Pinchy eating ice cream cones'
3835638
Not an error, don't worry. Damon still has some tings humans can do like his tongue etc, plus, he is based partly on how Brook moves from One Piece (who is a skeleton who can literally make a >:C face despite being all bones.)
Makes it more fun that way.
trixy needs an old fashon beatdown.
Damon is going to murder a certain blue mare.
"A Familiar can't hurt their master." A simple bonk on the head would show her then. It aint murder, just self defense from a mare chugging on a chain similar to slavery. Speaking of which, shouldn't there be a law against ownership of another of equestria's citizens like this? Forced slavery with no debt beforehand? Somehow I think little miss Trixie is going to get it in for her if any Guards show up or if anyone reports it.
Well you forgotten to put another y when the kids called Dorian an old fart
Also *he want to thrattle* shoulsve been he wanted to thrattle
By the way, the yeti might as bethe one pulling the strings considering his wins
you know, I completly forgot to ask... did daemon ever get his broach back from the crusaders?
I'm calling Sombra. If not, then a Shadow Demon.
O gosh... people are thinking its nightmare moon and/or sombra.
I know what the eye flicker is... and i'm not going to say a thing
3834596
3834709
It's Nightmare Woon!
She wants to make the Hugs last FOREVER!!!!
3838174
Damn you! You figured my dastardly plan all out!
If you are going to spend time in Ponyville, Trixie, you need to learn to embrace the insanity.
Gotta love a combat capable spellcaster.
well fuck
Only if he rolled 20 on taunt check