Chapter XII - Pinchy's day out Part IV
The Adventures of Damon Lipton
Chapter - XII - Pinchy’s day out part IX
Damon glared at Dorian as the demented man jumped from the rock and landed with a soft thud. Dorian grinned and walked over to Damon whilst twirling his cane and patted him on the back.
“Oh do lighten up, Damon. You’re being such a bore!”
“Lighten up? Firstly, you turn me into a damn lich! Secondly, you send me to the bed of one of the rulers and, last but not least! YOU PUT THREE INNOCENT CHILDREN AT RISK!”
“Foals,” Dorian corrected.
“Whatever! The point is. I’m furious. So I’ll ask you one question, why did you bring Dalmora Goblins, with a boss no less, to Equestria?!”
“I was bored,”
“Yes, I know. But I know there has to be another reason so just tell me!”
“STOP TALKIN’!” The Boss growled, “OI WANT’A SMASH ‘IS FUCKING ‘EAD IN!”
Dorian turned to the large Goblin and waggled his finger dismissively at him.
“Patience, Urgot my giant green abomination,” Dorian tutted.
The boss growled but reluctantly stood down. Goblins may be stupid, but even they aren’t stupid enough to try and attack a God.
“Okie doke, now where was I?” Dorian muttered tapping his chin.
“Explaining yourself,” Damon growled impatiently.
“Ah yes! Thank you dear boy.”
Damon stared at him for a few moments waiting for the mad man to talk.
“Well?” Damon said.
“Oh! You want to hear it now?” Dorian asked.
“Oh for the love of Varlos, YES!” Damon shouted.
“Tough.”
“What?”
“You heard me boy…” Dorian’s voice grew disturbingly cold, “you’re beginning to test my patience… if you do not do as asked then I will just keep bringing playmates for you to have fun with.”
Damon stared at the God as he struggled to stop himself shaking, something was different about Dorian. And it terrified him.
“Now!” Dorian suddenly shouted, his voice returning to normal,” you have some fun now okay? Try not to break it!”
Damon felt Dorian steal a glance at something on his chest before he vanished into thin air, he boss took this as his cue to attack and with a mighty roar he brought his club down onto Damon. He quickly rolled out of the way as the massive weapon slammed into the ground much to the crowds enjoyment.
“UNCLE BONES!” Pinchy cried out.
“It’s okay, Pinches.” Damon replied looking over at her, “Everything’s under—”
Damon was sent flying into the wall of the arena as the boss’s club slammed into him with a crack. He fell to the floor and groaned before standing up and shaking his head, wincing as he felt one of his broken ribs.
“HAHAHA! DIS IS TOO EASY!” Urgot roared, “OI THOUGHT MAGES WOULD BE A CHALLENGE!”
Damon snarled as he darted around the boss and channeled his magic into his hands ready to cast a spell. Urgot swung his club to try and smack Damon’s midsection again but this time he rolled out of the way as the massive weapon swung over head, he quickly retaliated by blasting a fireball into Urgot’s back. Making the large Goblin grunt in anger.
“HOLD STILL!” He roared.
“I DIDN’T KEEP STILL FOR LUNA, HELL IF I’M KEEPING STILL FOR YOU!” Damon shouted.
Urgot swung his leg into Damon catching him off guard and sending him into the ground with a thud. Damon groaned in pain as the kick had struck him where the mace had earlier and stood up, only to jump back as the mace came down again and cracked the ground. Muttering under his breath Damon summoned a blade from thin air and charged at Urgot.
The Goblin snorted as he brought his foot up before driving it down in an effort to crush the mage but Damon used his small size to his advantage and side stepped the massive foot. Taking advantage of the situation, he quickly swung his sword and cut into Urgot’s leg and continued to run, rolling underneath the goblin and behind him.
Damon quickly spun round and with his free hand launched a barrage of fireballs at the Boss’s back, each one exploding on contact as Urgot roared out in anger. Before he could react, Damon was smacked again by the club and was sent flying across the arena. Tumbling in the ground as he cried out in pain.
As he tried to get up, Urgot stormed over and quickly grabbed Damon by his leg. He brought him up over his head and slammed the mage into the ground hard before doing it again and throwing Damon back across the arena.
Damon coughed as he winced in pain and stood up. He had several cracked ribs and his arm was broken. He silently thanked the Gods that for once, being a lich was working out thanks to the damage resistance they had. Urgot stomped over and swung his club ready for another attack. Damon rose his good hand up and quickly cast a ward spell just as Urgot brought his club down on him, making him fall to one knee.
Urgot laughed as he kept bringing his club down over and over on Damon’s ward, each hit causing him to wince as he felt the spell breaking.
“YOU IS WEAK, BONE MAN” ”
He laughed loudly before a wicked formed on his face.
“IN FACT! FUCK YOUR PROPOSITION, I’M GUNNA ENJOY USING YER BONES TO PICK ME TEEF WIFF ONCE I EAT DEM PONIES! BOYZ? START COOKING!”
Damon’s eyes went wide as the girls began screaming as the Goblins cackled and advanced on them. All the sounds around him were blocked out as he stared at the fillies. He felt something inside of him burn, burn with nothing but pure anger. Kalanar had him that a mage can draw power from their emotions and warned him of the dangers of doing so. But he didn’t care at this point.
“NO!”
He let out a roar as a burst of magic channelled itself into his arms and down to his hands. Suddenly, Damon’s whole body was consumed in red flames, leaving only two black holes where his eyes were, as he blasted the ward spell upwards that disarmed the club from the boss who stumbled backwards in surprise.
Damon slowly stood back up on his legs as everyone in the cave kept their eyes on him. He slowly advanced towards Urgot as his injuries started to heal, Urgot was pressing his back up against the arena wall in confusion and slight terror.
“Y-YOU FINK YOU CAN SCARE ME?! I’M BOSS URGOT! TOP GOBLIN IN WARLORD URGROG’S CLAN!”
Urgot scrambled for his club nearby and roared a he brought it down onto Damon. Damon merely raised his hand and the club bounced of him before he shot a blast of fire at the club, disintegrating it.
Urgot’s eyes went wide as he backed against the wall. Damon chuckled to himself as he turned to the girls.
“Look away…”
They didn’t need telling twice. They shielded themselves as Damon slowly turned his attention back to Urgot, he raised a hand and Urgot found his limbs pinned by magic to the arena wall.
“L-Look we woz only messin’ wiff ya!” Urgot stuttered, “y-you understand right—”
Urgot was interrupted as his mouth was forced shut by magic and Damon quickly blasted his hands at him, sending a barrage of fire into the Goblin boss. His screams of pain were muffled as the fire consumed his entire body and violently shook, desperately trying to free himself.
As quickly as it had started, the flames retracted from Urgot’s body revealing his charred corpse hanging limply from the wall. The stench of burnt flesh filled the air as Damon’s body returned to normal and he panted heavily before falling to one knee.
He slowly rose to his feet and staggered over to the girls who were still shielding themselves. He carefully scooped them up and held them tightly as Pinchy whispered.
“Is it over?”
“Yes, Pinches…”
“What did you do?” Scootaloo asked.
“Not important… it’s time to take you four home,”
The girls didn’t question him. Thanks to Damon muffling Urgot’s mouth, they hadn’t heard his pained screams and only heard the blast of fire. As they walked down the tunnels in silence, leaving the surprised Goblins behind them, Damon coughed slightly.
He groaned before falling forwards and crashing to the floor. The girls fell from his grip and tumbled on the ground before rushing over to Damon.
“Uncle Bones!” Pinchy cried.
She received no response other than a soft groan.
Pinchy felt her panic rising as she and the others heard the cries of the Goblins behind her. Clearly not happy their boss was just killed and fueled by their own rage.
“Aww, the poor dickens used up all of his magic energy,” a voice tutted behind them.
They turned to see Dorian behind them frowning. He ignored their stares and walked over to Damon’s body and knelt down beside it, tilting his head. Dorian slapped Damon’s head and received a groan in response.
“Ah good! He’s alive,” Dorian laughed, “silly little bugger…”
Dorian tapped the end of his cane on Damon’s head and a green mist seeped over his body. He stood up and turned to the three fillies with a demented grin.
“There we go! Gave him a little boost of energy to get him and you lot home.”
“H-how can we trust you?” Pinchy asked nervously.
“I may be annoyed that he didn’t do as he was told… but I need the lad for an important mission, a mission for the good of everyone. Nay! The world!” Dorian declared dramatically.
Pinchy and the others just stared at him. A little confused and scared. But mostly scared.
“Anywho, I have to get rid of these useless things,” he indicated the charging horde of Goblins that were getting closer and closer, “so it’s toodle-oo for now! Do take care and come again!”
With a flash of green, the fillies and Damon vanished from the cave. Dorian smiled as he turned to the Goblins who came to a halt and growled at him.
“MOVE HUMIE! WE WANNA KILL DA BONE MAN!”
“HE KILLED OUR BOSS!”
Dorian rolled his eyes as the Goblins roared and shouted at him to move.
“Afraid not my dear fellows…” his voice getting colder, “you failed your task to entertain me… I don’t like it when that happens…”
Dorian’s grin widened as his skin began to crack. The tunnel was filled with the screams of terror from the Goblins before it was effectively silence, leaving the mountain silent once more.
Damon groaned as he sat up and rubbed his head. It took him a few moments to realise where he was. The Everfree Forest. He looked down to see the girls beside him curled up and asleep, blinking with confusion he looked up to the sky to see it was a tint of red and the sun was low in the sky. Figuring it was near evening, he yawned and cracked his back waking the girls.
“UNCLE BONES!”
Pinchy tackled him in a tight hug. Damon smiled and cuddled her close as she giggled and looked up at him with a huge grin.
“YOU WERE SO COOL!”
Damon looked over to see the other fillies now standing up with a huge grin on their faces, Scootaloo was bouncing in place.
“You three alright?” He asked.
“We are thanks to you,” Sweetie smiled, “if it hadn’t been for you…”
Damon pulled all of them into a hug and chuckled.
“I think it’s safe to say that you should lay off crusading for a week or so… especially in the forest, that was reckless going in their. But seeing as it’s your first time—”
“Actually... we go in there all the time,” Applebloom sheepishly said.
“... What?” Damon blinked.
“Well, how else are we going to get awesome cutie marks?” Scootaloo asked.
Damon went to reply, but Pinchy placed a hoof on his arm and shook her head. He sighed and made a mental note to ask Berry why these fillies were insane.
“Anyway, we better get you four home now.”
He stood up as the cutie mark crusaders stretched and began to walk ahead of him as Pinchy clambered on top of his shoulders.
“Oh one other thing,” he said gaining their attention, “I think it’s best we don’t tell the others what happened. I’ll talk to Princess Celestia about it tomorrow.”
“Ah agree, don’t think Applejack would be to happy…”
“Not to mention what Rarity would say…”
“Rainbow Dash would think it was so not awesome if she knew I nearly died…”
“I won’t tell mummy, I had a great day out! It was like a real Daring Do adventure!” Pinchy giggled.
“You’re right!” Scootaloo cried, “I bet Rainbow’s never had an adventure like that!”
“Or our sisters!” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle added.
Damon sighed but smiled as he escorted the happy fillies back out of the forest and into Ponyville.
Berry made her way through the town with the cupcakes for Damon and Pinchy in her saddlebag. She had originally planned to head home after picking them up but because of Pinkie’s, Rarity’s and Twilight’s behaviour, she wanted to see if she could find Applejack again and ask her opinion.
When she got to the marketplace however, there was no sign of Applejack anywhere. Figuring that she must have returned back to the farm. Berry decided to try and find one of the other Elements. After first returning home to store the cupcakes safely as she was unsure as to how long she would be, she quickly made her way across the town and over the stone bridge that lead to the house of Fluttershy.
As she approached the home, she saw Fluttershy in the garden. A smile on her face. She was feeding her chickens and looked up to see Berry walking over and waved to her, Berry returned the gesture as she approached the yellow pegasus.
“Hello, Fluttershy.”
“O-oh hello, Berry, how are you?”
“I’m fine thank you, I just came round to ask you something. If that’s okay with you?”
“W-what about?” Fluttershy asked as she tossed some more seed out for the chickens.
“Well.. it’s about some of your friends actually,” Berry replied.
Fluttershy looked at her in curiosity.
“What about them?”
“Do they… well, have they ever acted… I don’t know, crazy?”
“Who’re you talking about?” Fluttershy asked, a clear nervous look on her face.
“Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie,” Berry said.
“Oh… my,” Fluttershy whispered.
“What, what’s wrong?” Berry asked a little concerned.
“I need to talk to you, for Damon’s sake.”
Berry tilted her head in confusion as she followed the yellow pegasus into her home. She sat down on the sofa as Fluttershy made her way into the kitchen to make them both some tea, soon returning with a tray containing the cups and teapot. Fluttershy took her own seat and poured them both a drink before she spoke.
“Well… to start off with, do you remember how those three were like during the meeting?”
“Kinda… didn’t Twilight get upset that she didn’t get to ask Damon more questions?”
“That’s right, and Rarity was upset that Damon didn’t want her to make him some new robes with different colours?”
“Yeah.”
“Well… before the uhm… incident,” Fluttershy winced remembering that day, “I was having tea with him and he told me that his robes are very sentimental to him. Apparently, the simplicity of the robes design is something the mages hold high in his world, not needing any fancy clothing in order to live a good life. It’s a cultural thing I think.”
“That would explain it…” Berry nodded, “and what about the other two?
“Twilight is just excited,” Fluttershy giggled softly, “she’s just met someone from a different world and just wants to find out as much as she can.”
“I guess that makes sense…” Berry nodded again, though a little concerned with the look Twilight had when she saw her earlier, “and Pinkie?”
“Will Damon eat a cupcake made by her?” Fluttershy asked, suddenly becoming serious.
“Well I did buy him one for later… so yeah.”
Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief and smiled at her.
“As long as Damon enjoys the cupcake, there’s nothing to worry about.”
Berry smiled as she sipped her tea and continued to chat with Fluttershy for a while, happy that her questions about the others had been answered. For now.
Damon opened the door to Berry’s house with a happy Pinchy sitting on his shoulders. Berry,who had returned from Fluttershy's house a couple of hours ago, heard them come in and poked her head out from the kitchen and smiled at them.
“Hey you two, was wondering when you’d be back,”
“Mummy!” Pinchy squealed happily.
Damon chuckled as he gently placed her down and watched as she ran to Berry and hugged her tightly.
“Did you have fun today?” Berry asked.
“Mhm! It was awesome!” Pinchy giggled.
“That’s good, now go wash up, sweety. Dinner’s almost ready.”
“Okay mum!”
Berry and Damon smiled as Pinchy ran upstairs to wash up. He stretched and wandered into the kitchen and sat down as Berry returned to her cooking, humming lightly.
“Thank you,” Berry said.
“No problem, she’s a good kid,” Damon smiled back at her.
“After dinner, I need to talk to you about something.”
“What’s that?” Damon asked.
“It’s regarding some of the others, and something Fluttershy warned me about them.”
“That… sounds reassuring?”
They were soon re joined by Pinchy who clambered into her seat with a grin as Berry brought over the food to them. As Berry was serving out the courses, Damon sighed in relief thankful that nothing had gone… terribly wrong and Berry would be none the wiser.
“Mum?” Pinchy asked.
“Yes, sweety?”
“What does ’fuck’ mean?”
Damon felt as if everything in the world suddenly came to a stop as Berry’s head slowly turned to look at him.
Stats
Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
664 users online
692,393 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well, this is the final chapter in the first arc of this story. The next chapter will be the last one of the arc before a small time gap has past. I hope you're all still enjoying this as much as I am writing this thing!
3261836 Write faster damn you!! :D
Oh, god. I can just imagine the looks on Berry's and Damon's faces.
in that exact moment i wouold find the nearest window and run for my life...
oh my god. I'm parlayed with laughter here. damon's in deep shit now
As every human being on earth knows when a child asks THAT question all hel shall break loose upon the unfortunate soul who said it first...
poor Damon
Shouldn´t Pinch and the Crusaders be a teeeeeeny bitsy traumatized about seeing, hearing and smelling people (technically, goblins are sapient beings) burning alive?
well...this isn't going to end well...hope he can run fast.
missed an a.
Also, Damon should run, run very fast.
Seriously, sad. This bro has no fighting skillz. Levitate him up, and impale mr. Gobbles on a ... Cave ceiling-y thing...
For starters, I need to post this somewhere, it's been running through my head all day.
Second, RUN DAMON!
Third, I like this side of Dorian. He's a prankster, sure, but he still realizes how powerful he is, and reminds others of it constantly.
Wait! I just realised, those goblins sound like the War Hammer works. I dind`t realise till he called Dorian a humie...
You used the stony form. You should have written there.
3262352
Didn't he mention that Bosses have a high resistance to Magic? Must have been some seriously power full Wizz-Biz to hurt the Boss like that.
P.S I think its called a Stalagmite? Or maybe Stalactite?
3262932 just levitate his armor. Seriously.
What is worse than a group of enraged goblins....an enraged mother.
One of the reasons I should not be allowed most people's children, I have a bad habit of not watching what I say.
Damon should teleport away.
3262705 The Cockney accent wasn't a dead giveaway?
Anyway...
Methinks the underlined quotation mark was supposed to be an exclamation point. "Smile" is missing. (So is his face, but he is a lich.)
had told
There
Missing "ah before it (I agree, I don't think...), and too.
3265661 us it would of been seen straight away if they were orcs, not goblins.
3264114 Tough call
he is so fucked
3268192
Explained in chapter two, he has glowing flames for pupils which serve to give his eyes the ability o express. So when he blinks, they temporarily disappear, same with winking.
The next episode; Berry rips Damon's skull from his spine.
she should have smiled as well
Dat Ending
3275622
The audio cuts out at about 6 seconds in
What does "fuck" mean?
cdn.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/happy-smile-l.png
What dose "fuck" mean. "Well Pinchy it's a very bad feeling that Damon over here is probably feeling right now.
All the typos and grammar mistakes got rather distracting, especially as this chapter's the worst one so far, but the last two lines made up for all of it.
I would point out errors as I go, but there just too many of them. I'd suggest getting a dedicated editor to trawl through all of it. I'd suggest the Looking for Editors group.
3264516 NO IM BAD WITH CHILDREN
Never in the nine Hell's nor Seven Gates write in full caps, having it be "Uncle Bones!" Would've gained just as much effect but only a fraction of the annoyance, honestly this is something that's seriously getting on my nerves, well the story looked promising but meh.
3262932 stalactite
You better run, Damon. She's gonna keeeel ya.
Well shit
That when you break out your parenting skills and explain that the word fuck isn't actually a word at all but an acronym that means Found under carnal knowledge. Then you follow that up by telling her that you will explain it to her when she's older.
IT WAS A GOBLIN NOT ME