Gamma Deekay
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Hope she get's what's coming to her. Good fic so far.
3052125
Thanks! I'm glad you like the idea of it!
I found a ninja typo.
I lifted the can to my horn, closing my eyes and concentrating hard on condensing the fire spell in knew into the bottom of it. After a few moments, the beans started to boil and I released the spell. A soft whump was all the preceded the towel I had forgotten was on my head catching fire, making me quickly hoof it to the floor and stomp it out.
I think there is a rogue 'n' there.
"No, you misunderstand." He shook his head lightly. "There is no physical copy. She has the information memorized and under no circumstances can you kill allow her to die."
She has the information memorized and under no circumstances can you kill or allow her to die. That sounds better.
I sat in my room and read over the contract. This one was going to be a whole hell of alot tougher than any other I've had to do. I can't skimp out on any details before heading out, meaning I need to know her name, her friends and family, why she flead, and where she was likely to go. Pretty much everything I hate to pay attention to on a normal job.
First, alot is bad. A lot isn't. It's a grammar thing. There is the word allot, but you didn't mean that. And, I profess I have used alot in writing. It's insidious to be sure.
Second, flead isn't right. You mean fled.
I do apologize for nitpicking. But, it is to help to make your writing better.
Honestly, it is an awesome start.
3061481
Thank you for pointing those out!
I've fixed them all, and I hope you will continue reading when I put out the second chapter!
Well that went bad she died. But good chapter.
3101445
Thanks!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
3118217
I'm glad you like her as I didn't want to write another Merchants of Hope.
As per why I set it in it's current time frame, I don't want to put a fic in that section of the wasteland until PH and Heroes finish their fics, as I draw a lot from those as if they were canon to Fo:E. It would just screw with my own creative process if I had to write around a way I didn't accept as my own headcanon. 
And the whole meeting LP and trying to stop her exists already: Fo:E - Anywhere but Here. If you haven't read it already, it's a fun story!
And lastly, on the sticking you in the notes: You and Deathpony are the only reliable feedback I've got so far, So I have to thank you two somehow! Not to mention, it's going to be winter soon! How else am I supposed to find you in the mountains and snow without some color to your cheeks?!
3118428
Well, not so much Heroes as Project Horizons, because it has the potential to change a lot of the wasteland up in my head. The big 3 (PH, Heroes, and Pink Eyes) are big influences on how I come up with my ideas, and for one of them to change or come up with a fundamental way the wastes work, then if I've written something that goes against it, it doesn't sit right with me.
But I'm weird like that.
I do agree: Rita =
though!
3160797
I'm glad you liked it!
Well didn't see that coming that he was playing along the entire time, also she got some karma for what she was doing. Good chapter
3161020
Well, what would you do if you felt you had nothing left to do?
You'd at least try to make things interesting! But I'm happy you enjoyed it!
*cackles maniaclly* Oh, that 'perk' or whatever is awesome. Lack of fucks...
I wonder if I can throw that in on D&D 4e. Anyhow, I commend you on your work. Keep it up
3161824
Yeah, Lack of Fucks is actually from the Fallout Equestria Pen and Paper System! You should try it out!
"But, like all others, she nervously looked around as she trot up to the shack."
Should that "trot" be "trotted"?
Also, Miss Cap is a really funny moniker. I'm imagining like. Miss Bust-a-cap. Or Miss 'Hour Rides For Just One Cap'. Or Miss Level Cap Reached!
"When I was young, my mother always referred to everypony she saw as an asshole. In fact, I grew up thinking that was how you greeted people out in the wasteland."
Lawl. This is pretty much the whole chapter for me.
3220217
Huzzah! I'm not the only one! My roommate was all 'No... it needs to be trot'. And like the dummy I am, I listened to him!
3220300
I'm stealing Miss Level Cap from you! Totally going to end up using that!
3221358 Yay, I'm helping! :D
Well Percussion got what was coming to her with helping slavers. Anyways I hope she starts doing good.
Ha! Now that's why a good bounty hunter shouldn't work with slavers nor do escort jobs! When it turns bad, you're on your own...
Anyway, great story. I'll be following Cap's adventures closely. Tell me, thought: when is the story supposed to take place exactly? I have half a mind of having a few off-hands comments about other bounty hunters in my own story and I'd like to know a tad more about the Cap dynasty.
3308760
So, Better Days takes place around 5 or so years before the events of Fallout: Equestria. Other than that, what exactly would you like to know about her?
3308855
Many things! Where do they come from? Are they known worldwide? Do they have a reputation as businessmares, or as crazy psycho killers (I suspect the former)?
See, the main character in my story is also a bounty hunter, yet it seems Percussion is quite different from her personality wise. Miss Cap is brash, proud, and does not hesitate to shoot to make her point. She uses pistols - it means she likes it close and personal. She also does not hesitate to mutilate her quarries (the idea of removing the cutie mark is quite brilliant, yet so obvious in hindsight!) or to work with very questionable individuals (slavers aren't known for being very honest in their business).
On the other hand, Spring is a loner, a killer who strike from afar or from the shadows.
Both do the same job in the end. I'd love to know more about your take on a profession which would seem so basic at its core.
But perhaps we should talk about that in private? I don't want to squat the comment section of your story with my silly questions ^^'
3309062
Sure, I'll send you a PM with some answers!
Backstories GET! And eating someone's food without them noticing is also an amusing moment. :3
We've managed to avoid dying! Yay!
Maybe she might listen her Grandma and not take anymore slaver jobs.
Ha, and now we meet the family! Goodness, I really wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of an argument with them...
Heh, if anyone likes PC's grandma, you should check out my fic The Long Winter to find out how she becomes the mare she is in this story. Only three chapters in atm with a fourth on the way, so hang tight!
Well at least she ain't taking slaver contracts anymore, good chapter again
I guess she learned something, good chapter
3476085
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Well, Cap, it seems as if you're screwed!
Good job. Of course, we all know where it goes from here.
shots.ikbis.com/image/15940/large/Head_in_the_toilet.jpg
Just kidding.
3538663
Well, it can't get much worse, can it?
Can it?!
“Honey, if that were true, there are so many mines that ah’m bettin they coulda saved everypony in the land when tha end came.” She floated out her magical energy rifle, twirling it in her levitation. “That ain’t ta say they didn’t leave some interestin things in some a them though.” She brought the weapon’s sights to her eye and smiled, making me weary that she’ll ‘accidentally’ shoot me. “Why, ah found ole’ betsy here just sittin in a corner as pretty as tha day she rolled outa tha factory!”
Okay, a few things on this paragraph.
First, you mean wary, not weary. Weary is tired. Wary is afraid.
Second, betsy is a proper noun. So should be capitalized.
Third, and this is just me, but, I think outa should be outta.
A swift buck in my bruised side send me to the ground as Brightshine came to Caltrop’s aid. I cried out as I slid along the dirt, my side rippling in waves of pain while I tried to stop myself. In an instant, I had righted myself and removed #3 from it’s holster. I spun it and pointed it at the Cream coated mare standing over the still whimpering stallion, finding that she had her rifle pointed at me as well.
No reason to capitalize Cream
So, actually, found something
You have to decide which way you want to go. Tha, or tah. Frankly, I think tah sounds better. But that's me
“That fucking idiot behind you?” I lifted my gaze to him, watching as he lay in the dirt behind her with pain filled eyes. “He’s important to me. I don’t know why, but even though he screwed up my life, for some fucked up reason, I can’t stand the thought of not having him around.” There brain, I admitted it. “I’ve known him for a week, and he’s the most fucking useless pony I’ve ever seen.” I laughed as Caltrop’s eye’s were wide now as he listened to me rave like a lunatic. “But I can’t get rid of him in my head, even when he pulls shit like earlier.”
You mean eyes, not eye's.
3539556
Thanks for finding those!
I try my best to get all of these when I write, but when I get in the zone, my fingers are just trying to catch up with my mind as I go!
Just one thing I'd like to point out with the Tha and Tah thing is that I've been using Tha as a replacement for The, and Tah as a replacement for To. Though to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm doing it right to begin with since I live in a fairly accent-less part of the country. It's sometimes hard for me to get these sorts of things right, but I like using them because I feel it adds more to the characters. If you could help any further by giving me some other pointers on it, I'd sure be thankful!
3539629
Accents are rather tough. So, don't feel bad
And this is why I'll survive the apocalypse: Everyone is out to kill you. So kill them first.
Great chapter though!
3544506
I'm glad you liked it!
But yeah, it's my thought that it's the only way to live in any apocalypse scenario. Shooting first is the only way you make sure you survive.
3544665 "Yes, I see the bandit gang... Yes I recommend loading your rifle!" Terminate with extreme prejudice or avoid altogether...
Which begs the question what will PC do when they get out of this mess.
3544925
Good question! Though I assume it will involve beating Caltrop upside the head at some point!
3544939 Nah, use Caltrop as a club to beat Brightshine. That way she can save energy and whollape both of them.
Well I hope Caltrop saves her then maybe she will learn to like him, also good chapter
Dear Luna, that was awesome! Is it, "think of painful ways to murder Brightshine" time now?
3607324>>3607420
I'm glad you both enjoyed it!
And don't worry, I indeed have some very special stuff reserved for Brightshine.
Well, at least she's less of an asshole.
And, no explosions.
Sometimes the most horrific of situations is what makes our true..er..pony come to light, shedding the hard shell we put up to prevent the inevitable heartache we all try to delay. Guess what i'm saying is, this chapter is flippin awsome
3620636
I'm glad you enjoyed it and got the message I was trying to get across. The idea that PC had everything normal taken from her up to this point was fine, because she felt that she still had enough control in her life to make things better. This chapter took that control from her, and then Caltrop gave it back, which to PC, cements the fact that she can't be alone anymore. She needs somepony with her who's got her back, because she now shudders to think what will happen when he's not there.
I just realized the links to new chapters of this fic weren't showing up in my feed because I hadn't added it to my favorites.
3628762
Whoray! Thanks for faving it
