Just another brony with some fanfic ideas.
Captain Jack Sparrow was a victim to mutiny. He was left with one bullet, one pistol, and the clothes on his back. He says he got off of the island by tying turtles together to make a raft, but that isn't true. This is the real story.
P.S. There are many more characters in this than I can fit so be prepared.
P.P.S. I know I said I would make this after Falling Stars but I didn't want anyone to steal this idea so here it is started and I will work on it after Falling Stars.
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Lovely story but when is there sex?
3064191patience my fellow writer for it will come in due time. Plus I put that tag on because of the puns and sexual references in it.
The base idea was interresting ( Jake Sparrow in Equestria ), but you totally fucked up the story.
The chapters are way too short to allow any usefull descriptions, characters personnalisation or interractions.
The chapters are just wall of text without space or paragraphs.
And you add a bunch of villains where they're not even needed or make sense lore-wise.
And I don't see Jake, but just a bland character with his name in this story. Jake is way more colorfull, flamboyant, manipulative, crazy and selfish than what you depict. And that's why it's a really likeable character.
3064572 you've a point there, but I always found it hard to explain jack but when you put it that way I can see it.How about this I start the most recent chapter over and make him more like jack sparrow and if I get something wrong, you point it out and I will fix it to the best of my abilities. Sound good to you?
3064421already then srry
3066099it OK. I actually support negative comments, it reminds me that I'm not perfect and that there are people actually paying attention. All I ask is that you help me our from time to time.
3066914
You should go back and rewrite Jack he seems a bit too off he needs to be more ... Weird or how he normally is.
3096011 I'll do that as soon as I finish my other story. It's just to difficult to work on two at once.
i am CAPTAIN jack sparrow ... man i never get tired of hearing or reading that line ... now he is a pony without rum ... that okay .... wait ... no rum ??
List of Corrections for Prologue:
"Rediculous" is misspelled. Try "Ridiculous."
"Gaurds" is misspelled. Try "Guards."
Concerns:
I'm not very good on names, but you may want to check "Barbossa." I believe "Barbarossa" is the correct spelling.
Where to start...
You need punctuation inside your dialogue. These chapters are WAY too short (an OK size is 2000 words). Your characters need more depth and accuracy. The "sex" tag, as well as the "gore" tag, can be taken off (it's okay to have a sexual pun and keep clear of the "sex" tag; use it when sexual things happen, but you don't describe them). And, to be honest, this could use a lot of work.
But I was, and still am, in the same predicament you're in, so I feel for you. I can't like or favorite this story for now, but if I see some progress I'll be sure to give it a thumbs up.
Lol Jack Shanghais Fluttershy
THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW A PIRATE SO BRAVE ON EQUESTRIA'S SEAS
I wonder what the other 5 think of him?
Funniest d*** thing ive read all day.
More please my favor movie and TV show together
3252495 no alcohol in a kids show
If you don't mind me asking, are you going to make more?
5446692 I hope to but I have stuff going on but i will do what i can
5253181 aye, best piece of f***ing god**** fanfics I've-- WHAT THE F***.... FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU********
6217149 Uh dude, are you alright?
6354559 Yeah we're good. just f***in swearin like muthaf***in pirates!
6374787 Oh ok, thought you gone insane or something
NO! Jack can't swear.
Where is the
RUUUUUMMMMMM!?!!
7431658 Why is the rum always gone...?
Damn it, I keep imagine Daniel's voice as Bilbo's from the Hobbit.
Well....thats pretty true