• Published 24th Aug 2013
  • 2,614 Views, 58 Comments

Milkshakes - superpony55



4 friends go to Canterlot Candies for milkshakes.

  • ...
5
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 2,614

Milkshakes

Twilight was lonely. She was, after all, the only filly in the castle. Of course, Twilight was never lonely. She had books as companions, and she felt that was all she needed. Usually. But she had just finished an adventure novel, and she felt she had lost a good friend. So she was lonely. And she didn't like it.

To get her mind off the sad ending of the book, she started wandering around the castle. She stopped in the kitchen.

"That's strange," she muttered. "That door wasn't there before." She tried the handle, and it was surprisingly unlocked. She gazed down at the many flights of stairs, and although she hadn't realized before, there, at the bottom of the steps, lay a machine.


"Tia! I wanted the chocolate milkshake!" As usual, Canterlot Candies was filled with chaos.

"I got it first!" Celestia whined.

A pink Alicorn rolled her eyes. "Celestia, Luna, would you please stop fighting? I would give anything for you two to stop whining."

Luna looked at her eagerly. "Even your milkshake?"

Cadance pushed over her milkshake and Luna slurped happily. Cadance grabbed the vanilla. She made a face and brought it over to the counter. "Any chance I can trade for a banana milkshake?"

She grabbed at the milkshake and soon she too was slurping happily. She turned around with a contented sigh, only to notice a little purple unicorn filly standing in the doorway. She gasped.

Twilight walked in. "Where am I?" she asked. She looked at the old rundown Canterlot Candies sign, and then the Alicorns caught her attention. "Okay, the better question is when am I?"

Celestia noticed Cadance's gasp and followed her gaze. "Don't just stand there! Come sit!"

Twilight sat down and looked at Celestia. "Princess Celestia!" she gasped.

"What, you've heard of me?"

"Yeah," Twilight managed, staring at her mentor. Since when were she and Celestia the same age?

"Well then, why don't you get yourself a milkshake?" Celestia asked.

Twilight blushed. "I don't have any money."

Cadance looked at Luna, who looked at Celestia, who looked at Twilight. Celestia sighed. "Here are two bits."

Twilight looked at her and smiled. "Thanks Tia," she cried, wrapping herself around Celestia in a hug. She stopped. "Wait, I am allowed to call you that, right?"

Celestia nodded. "Of course..."

"Twilight."

"Well then, of course, Twilight." Celestia told her.

Cadance smiled. "Group hug!" She put her arms around Celestia and Luna. Twilight hugged them back.

After a few minutes of quiet slurping, Twilight broke the silence. "Hey Cadance! Sunshine, sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"

Cadance smiled back, although she didn't know what Twilight was doing. "Cool!"

Twilight asked a question she had ever since she became Celestia's student. "What's it like being a princess?" she asked.

Celestia sighed. "I like being royalty, but it can be hard work."

Luna nodded. "So many fancy dinners, polite manners, beautiful dresses..."

Cadance chimed in. "So little playing time, time to yourself, fun..."

Celestia swatted her friends. "You're making it sound worse than it is!"

Luna grinned and continued in a false high pitch voice. "Fun? Where did you hear of fun? Princesses do not have fun! And they don't do work either!" Cadance and Luna giggled.

"That's right, now go balance books on your head!" Cadance agreed.

Celestia was mad. And that was not a good thing. "Stop it, you two!" she cried.

"...So boring!" the other two princesses finish.

"I SAID STOP!" Celestia screamed.

"Sorry," Luna said meekly.

Celestia smiled. "Thank you."

"At least she's being polite," Cadance muttered.

"This time," Luna agreed.

Celestia glared at them and they quieted down.

Twilight laughed. "I think it would be fun to be a princess!" She paused. "Oh right, no fun."

This time, all three princesses laughed.

Luna smiled. "Okay, okay, it's not really that bad."

"Yeah, it can be fun- sometimes," Cadance agreed.

Celestia said, "But even I have to admit, it's not always fun and games." Twilight giggled as the princesses continued to argue, constantly switching sides.

"Is it sometimes fun?" Twilight settled the argument.

"Yeah," the other three ponies agreed.


"Who are you, Twilight?" Celestia asked. "Only royalty is allowed at Canterlot Candies."

"I- I- I'm not exactly royal," Twilight admitted. Celestia continued to look at her. "Okay, okay, I came in a time machine!"

"They're real? I mean- they'll be real?" Luna asked.

"Yes! I am Celestia's new personal student! I'm the only foal in the castle, and I just finished a book. It was really good, but it made me feel lonely. I'm not usually lonely, I've never really needed friends. Well, except for my brother and my foalsitter, you Cadance! And my books. But my brother's away and I'm not being foalsat, so I snuck into the basement (where I'm not supposed to go) and I found the time machine! I snuck in to see what you were like as a kid! And here I am!" Twilight said it all in one breath. The others stared at her.

"How about me? Do you know me?" Luna asked, eyes wide.

"No, sorry," Twilight apologized, catching her breath.

"Hmmph!" Luna huffed.

Celestia looked at Twilight. "Then you better be getting back before you get in trouble!"

Twilight giggled. "Yeah I better."

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

Twilight disappeared into the crowd.

"She was nice," Luna sighed.


Twilight jumped into the time machine and turned it to her year. She got out and hid. She watched herself get into the machine and turned away. She ran up the stairs and ran into-

"Princess Celestia!" she breathed.

"Twilight, I believe you were just using the time machine?" Celestia asked sternly.

"I'm so sorry!" Twilight cried.

"Oh Twilight, it's okay. I remember you coming to meet me and my friends, and I was wondering how long it would take you to find it," Celestia explained.

"Oh." Twilight blushed.

Celestia laughed. "It's okay, Twilight."

Twilight hugged Celestia. "Thank you, Princess."

"You're welcome, student."

Comments ( 57 )

This was cute, but it just seemed a bit rushed to me. :twilightsheepish:

3099085

Thanks! :twilightsmile: And yeah, it was a little rushed, I can agree with that.

Please give me advice so I can make the story better! :twilightsmile:

"Wait, I am aloud to call you that, right?"
"Only royalty is aloud at Sugarcube Corner."

The word you want is "allowed", not "aloud".

One thing that would improve the story considerably is to bring in more detailed descriptions of what things look like and what everyone is doing. Right now, it's very "talky", and it's kind of like trying to follow a TV show without looking at the screen; you can hear the dialogue, but that alone doesn't always make it clear what's going on.

Also, using Sugarcube Corner as the location is somewhat questionable, in terms of story logic. If Twilight's going back to the days when Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were still fillies, that means she's gone well over a thousand years into the past -- and Ponyville wasn't even founded then (remember, Ponyville was founded by Granny Smith's family when she was a filly, so the town can't be more than 80-100 years old at most), so how could there be a Sugarcube Corner?

3100094

In the story, Sugarcube Corner came before Ponyville. And thanks for pointing that out! :twilightsmile:

3100315

In the story, Sugarcube Corner came before Ponyville.

Um... how? Sugarcube Corner is in Ponyville, and it's a mom-and-pop business (literally, in this case), not an Equestria-wide chain store.

This is where lack of detail will really hurt a story; if you're going to do something which clearly violates or contradicts both the show's established setting and/or common sense, you have to justify it to the reader by explaining it in a way that's internally consistent. You can't just handwave it and say "well, it's that way because I want it to be" if you expect the reader to buy into the premise.

3100564

I understand. Thanks for the input! (I changed it to Canterlot Candies)

This made my day. thanks

3103144

You're welcome! I enjoyed writing it. :twilightsmile:

A nice little story that warms the heart. Thanks for this gift to all of us.

3119381

Thanks! It's always great to hear comments like that. :twilightsmile:

Fact: Ponies drinking milkshakes makes everything 20% cooler :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Witchery deleted Oct 14th, 2013

Not bad, but it was a bit rushed.

Simple and funny, I liked it! :moustache:

3308138

Thanks!

3271867

Yeah, I know. :twilightblush:

3273733>>3271807>>3224672

Either way!:twilightsmile:

3329769 and erm... why did you follow me? :duck:

3330031 But you were following me before that. :applejackunsure:

3330134

Oh, then I don't remember. :twilightblush:

Cute, but there were some moments that I felt were pretty rushed. I know you get that a lot with this story, but I felt it needed to slow down a bit and explained what Twilight was thinking, seeing the world around them and getting to see the world through her eyes. I thought that would have improved it a little bit.

The bit with the time machine was a little weird to me. Again, I think there could have been some kind of explanation or something. Why was there a time machine? Where did it come from? How was Twilight able to use it? I think this could have been better explained.

The interaction between Twilight and the young alicorns was cute.

Overall, a nice short little story. Very innocence and very cute. A little bit of detail would have polished this up well and I think it would have turned out great. Anyway, keep it up and I'll see you late. Take care. :pinkiehappy:

3661992

Alright, thanks for the tips, and I hope you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

Congratulations! This story has officially been deemed a Sapphire by The Gem Hunters.

We could really use an explanation as to why there is a time machine just laying around, when Equestria seemingly has little to no technology

(Public Announcement, Luna being adorable causes heart attacks) That can't be true... Awwwwww-HRK!

3893478

:rainbowlaugh: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Wittle Woona and Cewestia's Day Off is also about a young Luna... :raritywink:

And thus because the time traveling Twilight did not know her, Luna became the evil Nightmare Moon and was banished to the moon for one thousand years!

Alliteration aside, the story was very cute. Pacing seemed a little fast, but still cute. Mostly because of sad Luna.

So Celestia has a time machine in her basement but can't be bothered to go back and, dunno, help Luna?

Plot hole! XD

Anyway, this was too much for me and now I am dead from diabetes. I will hunt you forever for this! :heart:

4022791

:rainbowlaugh: That would make an interesting prequel...

It would be sad, and it wouldn't work, it would just make Luna angrier!

And uh oh... I'm going to be haunted by a dead-by-cuteness ghost!

I'm glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

Too damn short! Needs more to this story. Another chapter, maybe. Or, perhaps a sequel?

4052300

I'm writing a sequel. I'm glad you liked it.

4053086 Yahoo hoo!!! Awesome!!!

4054270

It's about Rainbow Dash and called "Pancakes".

4056446 Oh.:fluttershysad:

I was kinda hoping that the characters from this story would, at least, be in the sequel.:fluttershysad:

*sigh* Oh well.

4057670

Sorry. :fluttershysad: It's still got the time machine!

4058940 Well, I'd suppose it would be. After all, it would be more of a diferent stand alone story if it didn't had the machine.

Still, maybe after the one with Dashie, you could do another one with Twily, Cady, Tia and Lulu? Or maybe one with Little Discy (Discord), Somy (Sombra), Chrysy, Moony, Lulu, Twily, Cady and Tia?

You can choose some of the characters I listed. You don't have to use them all if you don't want to.

Maybe Twily goes to a past where Discy, Tia, Lulu and Chrysy are friends or something like that?

4061599

:rainbowlaugh: That would be interesting. I was going to make it so Rainbow goes back in time and meets the Wonderbolts, and was going to maybe do one for all of the Mane 6, but as I'm writing something else, I think I'll use the same characters instead.

4062666 Cool! Say, do you think that you could take my suggestions in consideration? Please?

Third story of yours I have read so far.

Continue working your magic on us all.

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