The Equestrian Card Wars of 2013

by Daedalus Aegle

We have anticipated your treachery, upstart

"I play Clone, it's a copy of your zombie," Silver Spoon said. "Your turn."

"I play Cruel Ultimatum! You lose just about everything you have," Diamond Tiara said with her best vicious smirk. "We've barely started, and already you're desperately far behind me."

Silver Spoon looked uncertain. "You know, this is only the fourth turn, and you only have two lands out."

"Your point?" Diamond Tiara scowled.

"You can't actually play that card yet. See, you need to have two blue ones, three black ones, and two red ones to play it. You only have two black ones. You can't afford it."

"Can't afford it?" Diamond Tiara looked at her with horrified outrage. "My daddy is the richest pony in Ponyville! I can afford anything I please! Being poor is for losers! Like you will be once I play this card!"

"You still can't," Silver Spoon said nervously. "That's how the game works, everyone starts off the same and you can only play one land every turn."

"Well this game is stupid then. I should start with all the lands I need to play everything I want, that's my birthright, as my name is DIAMOND TIARA!" She yelled to the heavens, standing on her back legs, her front hooves held high above her head.

"...Well, you don't, is the thing."

"Grah!" Diamond Tiara threw her cards down and assumed her best sulking stance. "There should be a land called 'Diamond Tiara's house' that says I can play anything I want."

Comments

[CommanderAkulaShy]

I would pay to habe that card in my deck, for all mana.

[devas]

...isn't that card called Tolarian Academy?

http://gatherer.wizards.com/pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=8883

3072515

[TrackingTarget]

3881340
Still can't cast Cruel Ultimatum with it, unless you have a way to convert some of the mana into black and red. Now, if you have a Mycosynth Lattice and a Tolarian Academy, you can just do whatever the hell you want. I have lived this dream.

[Razzy]