I love to write and im a huge fan of my little pony friendship is magic.
This is a sequel to Spike's sister. If you haven't read it yet I suggest you do. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/107648/spikes-sister
Spike wants to get his sister back and he will do anything to do that so when Princess Celestia said there was a way to bring her back he was right on it. What challenges would the mane six and him have to face? Only time will tell
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The journey begins.
I liked how Spike spoke to the CMC, telling them that it will be dangerous for them if they followed, and asked them to stay with Shining Armor and Cadence, but I feel that the CMC are going to go on a long crusade. 
3050054 I guess you will find out
storywise, u have a good begining and a premis for seeking out Sarah. but i do have to nit pick a little with Lunas speaking parts. i see this a lot with writers who try to write her methods of Old Speech and it usually comes out sounding very wrong. forsooth, many doth not fully understand the use of words in such an ancient mode of speech. ye must take care to use thy words correctly, lest thou seemith the fool. i did see several errors in every one of Lunas lines, for thou hast unknowingly spoken in haste, and without the proper form...
3068410 thank you for the comment. When I wrote Luna's parts I did my best and that was all that mattered to me. I had a feeling I would get it wrong.
3068427 if i might make a suggestion, there is a series of books called the Belgariad, by David Eddings. within that world lie the men of Mimbre in Arendia who speak much as Luna does, by studying their speech u may learn to write it better...besides, its a good series,
3068491
thank you for the suggest. I will try to find it.
Suspenseful chapter. That crystal is going to be a very important key element in the story if Sarah was able to communicate with Spike through it.
3100628 Im glad you like it
I have a feeling that Tundric Worm is the least of their worries. This journey is getting more adventurous and dangerous farther they travel.
Another great chapter.
3217753
yes that is true my friend. Just wait In a few chapters it is going to get good.
Ooh, this is getting good.
However, I'm kind of cautious of where the dragon is going to lead them. 
3435527 So glad you like it. I always look forward to your comments.
I find it surprising that you've been on this site for more than a year, and yet you still haven't gotten the hang of things yet. Looking back on comments for your previous stories, though, I can see why this is: a lack of constructive criticism. Most of your readers have lower standards and only praise your work, and the few who do offer advice don't give you much to go on. It's about time you got some real advice.
First off, there's the constant tense shifts. There's present tense, in which you write something as if it's happening right in front of you. Then there's past tense, in which you write as if you're recalling something that's already happened. You keep switching back and forth between these two constantly, sometimes within the same sentence. You need to stick with one or the other. Past tense is recommended; it's more popular and often considered easier to read.
Secondly, there's pacing. You're only showing what's important. As a result, the events go by too quickly, making it obvious that you were in a hurry to finish. You need to fill things in with more detail. When you finish writing a chapter, go back through it bit by bit and think to yourself, "What other details can I add to this part?" After you've gone over it once, repeat the process again. Then do it one more time. This will also allow you to look for errors.
Third is characterization. Everyone is out of character. For example, Fluttershy isn't that bold and Twilight doesn't like to think of herself as a princess. This ties in to the previous point in that it's a direct result of caring more about finishing than about taking your time and doing it right. Readers would rather wait four months for a good chapter than a week for a crappy one.
There are numerous other, smaller errors such as incorrect punctuation, capitalization, and spelling to consider, too. I strongly suggest you read FiMFiction's official writing guide, which will explain how to avoid these and other problems. Click here to go to it.
3541950 Thank you for the advise. I know Im not the best writer but I always try to do my best. I know I been on the site for over a year but I really dont get on it alot at times.
When will the next chapter come out
4012277 It will be out soon i have been busy with school and such and found no time to write
all the trials should have spike and 1 other pony do something than the last should be him alone that is my two cents
great story by the way
4258087 Thank you for your 2 cents and commenting. Im glad you are enjoying the story so far. I hope you continue reading.
The last test should be spime vs a dark and evil version of himself
4259683 clever idea I didnt think of that...hmm this gives me some ideas...
The dragon on the wall should be one of spikes great grandfathers
4483000 interesting idea
Lol a challenger were spike can't eat the gems
4609867 lol
the next trial...the Trial of Pride...shall be one Spike will face with Dash by his side.
4695616 that is going to be one of the challenges but it wont be next.
I showed this to my commander and he likes it. He thinks that the next challenge be one with Fluttershy.
spike signing out.
seven deadly sins?
lust
greed
gluttony
pride
envy
sloth
wrath
is that the challenges?
4837505 maybe
4977649 ding ding ding you got it
5036954 1 question what was the first trial, lust?
5063976 yes it was. In the story i refer it more to be about love
This almost seems like they have to overcome their own hidden anger. Even though there was the challenge that spike had to deal with greed but I was kinda thinking that since he's a dragon he would also have some built up anger and the same goes for fluttershy
5619530
hmm after reading your comment i agree and you have given me the perfect idea.