Overwhelming Light
Joined 26th Oct, 2012 ·
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i smell a cute one full of daww moments coming on ^^......
This could have been better if it was lengthend into several chapters, giving some time before they just... you know fucked and said they loved each other. but don't get me wrong this was a good story.
3034857 I would have but it was for a contest, which was due tomorow.
Sorry i was just too lazy early on to do it properly. 
this is very well written. I do wish for more chapters, but it can stand alone. It was a good read, and i commend your style... looking forward to more.
not bad, but it felt rushed.....which i guess it was lol XD still nice story hope to see it continued! X3
I loved this story, I gave me so many feels! I do understand why it was rushed, and I respect that. You did very well within the span if time you had to write this. I give you the gift of both props and swag. I look forward to reading your next story. /)^3^(\ scrunchie face!
3037941>>3038244>>3043342
Thank you all! I loves you!
I'd like to try and keep getting better and better! I hope I do not disappoint!
3043447
you better or ill send my pet turtle after ya >:P
So. Much. Cute. So. Much. Sexy. Cant.Take. It. *heart explodes* that was the sweetest story Ive ever seen. great job. i really hope you do something with this. i will read it and love it. good luck
not as much daww as i was expecting.....
3057534 Sorry, it was my first time writing a story like this. I wish i could have satisfied you,
Any helpful tips you would like to give?
3058457 moar scenarios to play off of , just streaching this out would have made it fine , 4k words is good for a straight clop not for a story with character development , 10k would be more around a good area for that , you had a character have other characters crossdress them to vent out pent up emotions for crying out loud , bringing that scenario up you might as well use it for something....
3058726 I PLAN to do a sequel.
3063105 then it's not complete now is it?....
3063211 Well, for now it is. I start school once again in a week and i don't know if i will have time to write the story.
3066079 there goes the authority indoctrination system ruining everything again....
This was pretty good. I do wish the sex was a bit more drawn out, but nevertheless it was a cute story.
3287861 Thank you! I love helpful comments!
Ah yes 1776 views! Go Murrica!
I don't usually read M x M clop fics. Or anything M x M at all. But this was a pretty good read.
3630387 Thank you very much!
3663177
TENOUDATEN
This is soooo wrong in sooo many ways >_<
Though the story was pretty cute overall. Don't mind a sequel.
Stupid sexy
coltser, male ponies.This is amazing needs sequel!
4663972 Like the art haha? and one of these days i will finish the sequel!
This is exactly the right way to write a one-shot romance story like this... and believe me when I say there are SOOOOOO many wrong ways. Background, build up, reveal, short clop scene.
Perfect.
This is too good. Kinda wish that there was more.
So good! Would of benefited greatly from being longer though.
A little bit longer would have been perfect, even though I thoroughly enjoyed it. Grammar was a bit off in some places, but not enough to cause me to stop reading. Nice work.
mmmm my stallionhood is trobbing