Chapter 1- The Experiment
Edited by ArtichokeLust 1/23/14
A man with green and black robes sat outside on a small porch. He had a cane resting at his side, a green and white striped hat on his head, and a small smile upon his face. He was enjoying the peace, the quiet, the cool breeze, and the distant sound of laughter that could be heard from far off.
Moments like these only came every few months for him. They were times of peace, where he could relax and breathe in fresh air. They were of harmony, where he could calmly watch the threads of life move around him. Sadly, these moments never lasted very long…
He laid on his back and closed his eyes.
He lived for these moments. Everything he had done in the past was to protect and secure the future. He had fought, slain, and been betrayed countless times in his past. However, his life was more than just constant strife; he had laughed, loved, explored, and achieved through science and technology what people had thought impossible.
Now all of that was behind him. He had earned his peace, and he intended to enjoy every moment of it before it was gone.
A lone black cat was observing the man from a stone wall a few yards away. The cat's yellow eyes were resting upon him and his state of peace.
The cat had seen him in it too many times before now. The feline didn’t understand how a man who lived a life so full of excitement could enjoy a moment like this. The cat found such things boring, and couldn’t stand being still when there was so much life to watch and so many things to do. Of course, the cat life was as full of excitement as the man’s had been.
"How long do you intend to watch me, Yoruichi?" The man spoke in a smooth and relaxed voice. He had been aware of Yoruichi's presence for the past hour.
Yoruichi responded in a masculine tone, "Until you’re done relaxing. Do you know how long you've been out here? Nearly four hours. Four hours! We were supposed to start this project of yours five hours ago!"
"That's right." Kisuke opened his eyes and stared at the blue sky above him. To many people a talking cat would cause them to faint out of shock, but he had grown used to it.
“We had that thing that we were going to do today. I completely forgot," he closed his eyes again, "Oh well."
"Don't you go and fall asleep on me now. Let's get this done," Yoruichi said in a deep voice.
Kisuke opened one eye, "Ask nicely, please," he said in a teasing tone,
Yoruichi sighed, “Can we do this experiment of yours, please?" She said noncommittally.
Kisuke frowned, expecting more of a fight. Then he smirked, “Nicer.”
Yoruichi’s blinked in confusion, “What do you expect me to say? ‘Oh, wonderful Mr. Kisuke-’” she started coughing, “No! I’m not saying that!”
Kisuke smirked and said tauntingly, "Well, since you asked nicely, I’ll start the experiment.”
He stood up and walked over the wall were Yoruichi was perched. He shrugged his shoulders, signaling for Yoruichi to jump on him so he could carry the cat to the experiment location. He felt a light, fuzzy weight fall upon his head and shoulders, and he began to walk toward a small candy store named 'Urahara's shop'.
Kisuke walked through the front door of the shop and took a long hallway to the back of the building. The candy shop was actually part of the house that he lived in.
Kisuke continued to walk in silence. He normally tried to keep what he did in his lab a secret from the three other occupants in the house. Once he reached the end of the hall, he glanced over his shoulder and quietly took out a key from the folds of his robes. He then inserted it into a small crack in the wall and turned it. A faint click could be heard, and the wall began to open just as any other door would.
"A secret room," Yoruichi cocked her head, "I don't remember seeing anything like this before. How long has this been here?"
"A while..." Kisuke responded.
He walked into the room and silently closed the secret door behind him.
The room was pitch black, as there were no windows for the sun to come in, or even an electrical light. The room could only be lit using kido, a form of magic that required many years of practice and determination to learn even one spell.
Under his breath, Kisuke muttered the words, "Hado number 31, shakkaho," As he said that, a tiny red flame appeared in his hand. He carefully put both his hands around the flame and walked forward a few steps in the dark. He stopped on the fifth step, and gingerly lit an unseen lamp with the red flame.
"There we go," Kisuke said, "Now we should be able to see."
He continued to walk around the room and light other lamps to increase visibility. Unlike ordinary fire, the red flame lit the room brightly.
Once the room was fully lit, it was a remarkable sight: The room was the size of a football stadium and full of equipment, writing boards, automated machines, and held every chemical and element known to man. Any scientist would give their life to be able to work one day in the lab. Kisuke had personally made everything that was visible.
"This is quite impressive," Yoruichi said in a deep cat voice, "But how did you manage to make the room so large?"
"I didn't make the room larger," Kisuke said, "I made everything in it smaller. It took me a while to figure out how to do this, but this is the result," He waved his hand at the giant room.
"I don't see how you can take anything in and out if everything is so small." Yoruichi said.
Kisuke shook his head, "You misunderstand. If I were to take this," -He picked up a phial with green liquid in it- "And walk out the door that we just entered through, it would return to its normal size with me. The same goes for everything in here." Kisuke sighed and started walking into the heart of the room, "But enough explanations; we have an experiment to run."
"I meant to ask you about that," Yoruichi spoke up from Kisuke's shoulders, "What will we be doing? It must be something important if you’re just now showing me your secret lab."
Kisuke nodded happily, "First, I’m going to test your ability to transform into cat. I’ve always been fascinated why you like that form so much. But I’m going to try and achieve a different form."
Yoruichi raised a furry eyebrow at that,”Oh? And how do you expect to do that?"
Kisuke smiled to himself and walked up to a table filled with wires and gears. He gently took Yoruichi off his shoulder then put her down on the table.
Kisuke tried to speak in a calming voice, but it came out somewhat crazed, “Now please relax, this will only hurt a little."
Out of his pockets, he pulled a giant needle, a clear liquid oozing from its point. Kisuke smiled evilly to himself as he lowered the needle to Yoruichi's rear.
Yoruichi's eyes widened at the sight of this and jumped off the table. The cat's ears became pinned to its skull and its fur began to come alive upon its back. Yoruichi hissed, daring the man to come any closer to try to insert that needle were it was intended to go.
Kisuke laughed at Yoruichi's sudden alertness. "Just kidding." He said, tossing the needle behind him.
"I can't believe you actually fell for that." He extended his hand to pet Yoruichi, who hissed and clawed at it. Kisuke sighed, “You really need to lighten up."
"That was not funny, Kisuke." Yoruichi hissed and took several steps back,"I will not have that, or any other object for that matter, go into that area again. Never again." Yoruichi shuddered at the memory. Kisuke had insisted, but the feline will never trust a vet again.
Kisuke shrugged, “Oh alright. I'm sorry. There, do you forgive me now?" Yoruichi hissed.
”I said I was sorry." Yoruichi hissed.
“I’m really sorry." Yoruichi hissed.
"I'm really, really sorry?" Yoruichi hissed.
Kisuke sighed, "Yoruichi, will you please forgive me? I'm really sorry."
Yoruichi didn’t really care about the needle thing that much, but she hissed anyway, just to be contrary.
Kisuke groaned in resignation and leaned against the wall. Immediately, a solid glass cage fell from the ceiling and landed right on top of Yoruichi, trapping her.
Yoruichi cried out in anguish as she pawed ineffectively at the anti-cat glass.
"Oops," Kisuke said, his voice muffled from outside the glass. He leaned off the wall, which revealed a large button with a cat symbol on it. "Oh wait, this was supposed to happen.”
He looked over at a nearby table. It was covered with paperwork and machines, “Right. This was where the experiment was supposed to happen."
Kisuke walked over to the table and began pressing various buttons. Machines whirled to life and started making constant clicking noises. The machines seemed to groan upon awakening for work, and expressed their reluctance through their loud noises and their sluggish startup sequences. Finally, a monitor in front of Kisuke came to life and revealed several complicated charts and letters that Yoruichi did not understand. Kisuke glanced at Yoruichi before typing in a few things and hitting the 'enter' key.
Metal fell from the sky and landed around Yoruichi's cage. It began to spin in a circular motion around the cage. Yoruichi was getting scared out of her wits.
Kisuke noticed this, “Don’t worry. It's just scanning your body. Please remain still." Yoruichi glared at Kisuke and hissed one last time before sitting down. The metal spun around the cage until it became a blur.
Yoruichi started wondering just what Kisuke was scanning for.
The metal left just as suddenly as it had come. The glass cage lifted itself up from Yoruichi, and the feline was thankful to be able to move again. Meanwhile, Kisuke was looking at the monitor and his machines, which were now steaming. Yoruichi could feel the heat from several feet away. The monitor was going insane printing, analyzing, and streaming all of the information it had just received.
After several minutes of staring at the machine intently, Kuske finally found what he was looking for. He turned to Yoruichi with a gleam in his eye, “Oh," he said, “So that's how you do it."
Yoruichi nodded.
"Well," Kisuke said, standing up from his chair,” I found what I was looking for. Thank you for your assistance." He tipped his hat at Yoruichi before walking away deeper into the lab. "You can return to the outside world now, if that’s what you would like. It's in that direction." He pointed off to the right with his cane and continued walking
"Just like that? You're just going to use me for one experiment and then leave?" Yoruichi frowned.
"Yep," Kisuke paused "Unless you’d like to join me for another?"
Yoruichi thought for a moment. An experiment with Kisuke could be just like the last one: complicated, scary, and headache inducing, but also somehow interesting. Well, she wasn't doing anything for the rest of the day, so this could be better than just taking a nap.
"Kisuke wait," Yoruichi called out. Kisuke stopped walking and turned toward Yoruichi. He smiled to himself when he saw the feline walking toward him. Yoruichi gracefully jumped onto his shoulder.
"What are you testing now?" Yoruichi asked out of bored curiosity.
Kisuke merely chuckled and continued walking, "Have you ever considered the possibility of other worlds, Yoruichi?"
"Of course I have;” Yourichi replied bemusedly,” Hueco Mundo and Soul Society are other worlds than the material world," Yoruichi responded.
Kisuke furrowed his brow, "I mean other worlds, as in undiscovered planets of areas that we have never heard about."
Yoruichi didn't even think before answering, “That would be impossible. There would be no purpose for its existence at all. If it did exist, it would have been overrun with hollows long ago if Soul Reapers didn’t know about it."
Kisuke smiled, “And what if hollows didn’t know about this world’s existence?"
"Then..." Yoruichi thought for a moment," I don't know. It would be safe from harm, I guess. Left to deal with its own problems."
"Ah, so you see now. There is in fact a possibility that another world could exist. With this in mind, I created a device that would allow me to find one and transport me there. With this device, this portal, I found another place were life is possible. However, I could not access it. This is a door that needs to be opened from both sides at once." Kisuke explained.
That last statement confused Yoruichi,"What do you mean by 'both sides at once'?"
"Whoever is on the other world must have created a device similar to mine if we are to be able to communicate."
Yoruichi paused, disappointed. Then she realized they were probably walking toward the experiment for a reason, and her eyes widened, “You mean someone actually created a similar door in this new place you discovered?"
"Yep." Kisuke smirked.
"Interesting," Yoruichi said, “What are we going to do? Are we going to try to shut it down? Anything that comes through could be dangerous."
"Nope," Kisuke said with a smile,"We are going to see what's on the other end."
A few seconds of silence passed while Yoruichi thought about what Kisuke had just said, and reevaluated his sanity, “You intend to see what's on the other end? As in... go through the portal?"
"Exactly," Kisuke said,” I thought that you would be interested in knowing about the world that lies beyond, just like I am."
"Alright then," Yoruichi thought for a moment, “I’ll go with you, but if we get stuck there, I will make sure you pay for it."
"Of course," Kisuke said, “We won't get stuck, trust me."
Kisuke continued to walk in with the sound of his wooden sandals against the hardwood floor. After a few more minutes of walking Kisuke finally spoke up, “There it is," He pointed to a metal door that was pulsating with energy. In the middle of the frame was a paper white fluid. This was the portal.
"Now before I go through there, I need to know what the local population looks like." Kisuke explained,” I wouldn’t want to scare them into thinking we’re hostile invaders, and I wouldn’t want them to have any reason to become hostile invaders. Once I know their appearance, I can use your transforming method and blend in with them."
Yoruichi grunted at this, “And how exactly do you expect to find out what they look like without scaring them?"
"Simple." He took both of his hands and lightly picked Yoruichi off his shoulder, “Please be sure to give me a full and detailed report about them
"What are you...?” Yoruichi began, and then realization hit,"Kisuke! I'll claw your eyes out if you do this! Don't you dare!"
"Sorry, can't hear you." he walked over to the edge of the portal, and put Yoruichi just above his shoulder. Just like a baseball player does before he pitches, he slightly moved his arm back, then with force, threw the screaming cat through the portal.
Once he was sure that the feline was truly in the other world, Kisuke disappeared with a small whoosh sound. Back at the front of the shop, one of the people he was living with was sweeping the floor. That person was a young girl, who was wearing a pink skirt and had her black hair in pigtails.
"Ururu," Kisuke said. The little girl jumped at hearing her name called through the silence. She turned around to see Kisuke packing up a few things from around the shop, “I’m going on a business trip for a few months. Can you be sure to tell everybody else that I won't be around for some time?"
Ururu quivered at being requested to do something, "Um... sure boss. I'll do that."
Kisuke nodded at her, and then disappeared once again with a small whoosh.
Now back in his lab, he waited a few moments for Yoruichi to return. Knowing that Yoruichi hates anything that I make her do, she’ll probably show up any moment now. However, the feline did not show up as quickly as Kisuke expected. Instead, the feline was in the middle of 'gathering information'.
-------------------------------
"It's done." Twilight smiled, exhausted but satisfied.
Finally, the project that had been working on for the past several months was completed. She had put so much effort into this. This project would change her world as she knew it, for the better. The amount of knowledge that was now open because of her was unparalleled compared to anything done by her or anypony no, any Equestrian life form in the past. She took a step back to admire her work. The portal to other dimensions had a paper white center, and gave off a mysterious aura.
"Now," Twilight said to herself, “If my theories are correct, this should be able to detect life in other worlds. With this, I should then be able to visit these worlds and learn from them. I would then have to—"
Her thoughts were interrupted as something black was flung out of the portal. "What—" she began, but quickly stopped herself when she noticed the black object was indeed a cat.
At first, Twilight was confused. But after some thought, she remembered that the device was two-way, and was required to be built wherever somepony would want to go, so that could only mean…
"You must be from the other world!" Twilight shouted, and started to run towards the cat.
Perhaps their planet was ruled by felines entirely. They could have created great architectural feats—unseen in Equestria—that would revolutionize the way ponies look at things. They must have a ruler somewhere, likely a monarchy similar to Equestria. Or were they a democracy? Maybe they worked side by side with canines! They were obviously intelligent to have built such a device, but how did they exactly do that. Forced labor? Magic? Or perhaps some type of machinery? They didn't have hooves to pick anything up, so how did the cats build a portal? Oh, the possibilities!
As if seeing this purple thing with wings at a horn charge at Yoruichi wasn't enough, it was also speaking a language the feline understood. Kisuke had really done it this time.
Yoruichi immediately began to run in the opposite direction of the charging purple creature. She began to do mad dashes in and around the house that seemed to be overflowing with books. The purple beast continued to follow Yoruichi around the interior of the house, knocking over books and furniture items alike.
"Please stop!" the purple creature yelled, “I just want to talk!" Yoruichi glanced back at her pursuer, and saw the same mad look in its eyes that she had seen before in Kisuke. Not a chance. Yoruichi thought to herself.
Yoruichi began to climb higher and higher on the bookshelf's, jumping unbelievable distances to reach the next bookshelf. Just when the feline reached the top, the cat turned around to see the purple thing flying right behind it. I need to get out of here. Yoruichi saw a window on the opposite side of the house, and jumped for it.
Twilight watched in amazement as the cat crossed the room with grace and made the impossible jump right through the window, smashing it into pieces. She then became horrified as she realized that the window was over 30 feet above the ground.
She teleported just outside the building to see the fading image of the black cat run away at unnatural speeds. Twilight began to wonder how exactly the cat recovered so quickly from a 30 foot jump and was already running away so quickly.
She started pursuing the cat once again, and caught the attention of several other ponies as she galloped after the feline.
"Hey Twilight!" Pinkie Pie shouted from right next to her. Twilight jumped slightly at the sudden arrival of the pink party pony,"What'cha doing?"
"Pinkie!" Twilight shouted, “Can’t talk right now. Got to get this cat."
"Oh! A kitty chase! Can I join please, please, please?" Pinkie said in a rushed tone.
"Pinkie not now—" Twilight stopped herself when she realized help would make this much easier.
“Actually, yes. You can help. Can you gather some other ponies? I'll keep this cat in my sight, but I must catch it. So be quick."
Pinkie saluted and yelled, "Yes ma'am!" Before vanishing in a pink blur toward Sweet Apple Acres. A second later Twilight saw the blur of Pinkie Pie coming toward her and stopped in the middle of the road. Applejack was somehow right next to Pinkie with a confused look on her face.
"How...? What just happened?" Applejack asked herself as she looked around. She noticed Twilight running toward her and her frown only deepened. "Twilight, what am I doing here?" She asked. "I was just bucking apples and then... what..."
"Applejack! No time to explain. I need you to catch that cat." She pointed a hoof at the black feline that had come out of the portal. It was now on top of one of the roofs, still moving at unnatural speeds.
"A cat?” Applejack squinted, “Is that what this is about? Twilight, the harvest season don't last forever ya know? I got to get as many apples off those trees as I can in a short amount of time."
"Yes I Know! But this is important! That cat is not from our world!" Twilight shouted. Applejack's confusion only deepened upon hearing that.
"Look here twilight,” Applejack sighed, “I’m not so sure what you have been doing in that laboratory of yours, but it just sounds like you have lost your sense of—"
"I can explain later!" Twilight interrupted, “Just help me catch this cat!" Without waiting for an answer, Twilight began to gallop after the cat once more.
Applejack looked at Twilight chase after the cat, and sighed, “She’ll never catch it moving that slow." Applejack took off in a mad gallop after her friend; the chase was on.
Yoruichi stopped on a roof and looked around to see the progress of the pursuers. The feline wasn't even moving that fast compared to a full sprint. Judging by how the purple thing was talking to the orange thing about 'cats', Yoruichi guessed that this world has its own form of that species. If this species was at all like the ones on earth, they should be slow. Incredibly slow compared to how fast Yoruichi could move. I shouldn't do anything to startle them. I just need to get back to that thing that Kisuke built, and be gone from this place.
Yoruichi could see the purple thing come into view by now. Getting a better look at the purple beast, she noticed it was oddly similar to a horse, except it had a horn and wings. Close behind the purple one was an orange horse, but this one didn't have a horn or a set of wings. Interesting. Yoruichi stared at them for a moment longer and noticed that the orange one was far faster than the purple one was, and was closing the distance between them quickly. For some reason, the orange horse had a piece of rope in its mouth, and a hat of some sort.
Yoruichi looked forward again and saw a dense forest some distance away. I'll lose them in the forest, then double back and head for the machine to get me back to earth. Yoruichi took off at a medium pace and set a course for the forest. The things I do for Kisuke. Yoruichi thought. Just shoving me into this world without my input. Bah!
Applejack still didn't see what the big deal was about this cat. It was just a cat. A cat! And, according to Twilight, it wasn't from this world. A cat from a different world... Applejack would have to start arranging therapy for Twilight soon after this.
Applejack prepared the lasso in her mouth. There would hardly be any chance of catching this cat with her bare hooves, so she would try to catch it from a distance, something she had done countless times of her farm.
Applejack glanced behind her and saw Twilight struggling to keep up. She already had a layer of sweet forming on her brow, and she was panting quickly. Her face was red from exhaustion after running for just a few short minutes.
She is hopeless. Applejack thought to herself.
Yoruichi was reaching the town’s edge by now. She looked behind one more time to see her pursuers’ progress before dismounting from the roof. The purple one seemed to running much slower than when the chase first started. Its face was flustered and it was breathing heavily. While the orange one was nowhere in sight. Interesting. Yoruichi thought. The feline looked forward once again to see the forest straight ahead.
Now that yoruichi was closer, it was clear that the forest had an unwelcoming look to it. It was almost giving off an air of murder, daring any brave adventurers to enter, and betting that they wouldn’t survive. The tree trunks tilted sideways, poised to crush any who went underneath them, and the braches were like arms trying to grasp and trap you forever. The perfect hiding place.
Just as Yoruichi began to climb the first tree in the forest, something hard gripped around her neck, and she was forcefully yanked to the ground.
"Gotcha." Applejack panted.
She panted for a few more moments to catch her breath.
"You're a lot more trouble than I thought you would be. Making me have to go all sneaky and hide when you turned around was more of a challenge than I thought." Applejack smiled to herself. "Ah well, you're mine now."
Applejack's smiled soon dropped as she noticed the cat's murderous look. There was a pure fury and hatred in its eyes that made her quiver. But there was also a deep intelligence in them. It was obvious that the cat was thinking on how to get itself out of the rope, and away from Ponyville
Applejack laughed nervously, “Well, better get you back to Twilight now."
As soon as Applejack turned her back to the cat, she felt the tension on the rope go slack. Applejack snapped her neck back to see that the rope was cut, and the cat had vanished. She ran over to the end of the rope. There was no way that a cat’s claws would be able to cut through a rope as thick as this! She hadn't even turned her back to the cat for a second, and the thing vanished!
"Applejack!" Twilight shouted. She had finally caught up to the farm pony after a very tiresome run.
She started laughing at herself from how out of shape she was. Perhaps she would do some training lessons with Rainbow Dash after all. However, her laughter was cut short when she saw Applejack staring at the end of a rope helplessly.
"Applejack?" Twilight asked, "What happened? Where did the cat go?"
"I'm sorry Twilight," Applejack said in a shaky tone. “I had it and it just cut itself loose. It... vanished. I had it one second, then I turned my back, and it was gone."
Applejack looked up at Twilight with teary eyes, “I’m really sorry."
Appljeack Twilight wanted to ask a few more questions, but Applejack looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"Oh, Applejack," Twilight said in a soothing tone, giving her friend a hug. “I’m sure we'll find it eventually. No need to get all worked up about it."
Applejack sniffed, "Ok."
Applejack smiled back,"I like the Twilight broke the embrace and smiled at her friend, "Hey, let’s just forget about this for the time being and head back to town. I'm sure we'll sort this out later."
"Yea Applejack?"Applejack smiled back, “I like the sound of that."
With that, they began walking back to Ponyville.
After a few moments of silence, Applejack spoke up, “Twilight?"
"Yes Applejack?"
"Thank you."
----------------------------------
Yoruichi watched as the two mares trotted away. "You always pick an interesting time to show up. What were you doing that delayed you for so long?" The feline heard a chuckle from a branch above.
"I was enjoying a couple of books from a very messy treehouse library."
The voice belonged to Kisuke. He was still talking in the laid-back tone that he always used.
"So, gather any useful information? What they look like and such?"
"I was enjoying a couple of books from a very messy treehouse library."
"Because you threw me through that portal, I was unable to even think without being chased by one of this world’s inhabitants… But yes... they look like small horses, lots of different colors, one of them had a horn and wings, I think. Oh, and they also had some symbol on each of their flanks for some reason."
"Interesting. Anything else?"
"Nope. Not really." Yoruichi said.
Kisuke was silent for a few moments.
"So, now that we’ve finished your experiment, I'm going home now." Yoruichi readied herself for a jump.
Kisuke inhaled, smiling sheepishly, "Oh, um about that, we won't be able to leave this world."
Yoruichi's ears perked up at this, “Why not?" She deadpanned at him.
"Well, remember how I said the portal is two way, and to go across it both sides need to be active?" Kisuke explained, "Well, I kinda shut our side off for a couple of months. It won't restart until the timer I put on it runs its course."
Yourichi glared at him, “You didn’t set the timer for a couple of days? Or hours?”
“Well,” Kisuke looked back at the library, smiling teasingly, “I wouldn’t want any dangerous creatures crossing dimensions every hour.”
Yourichi stared at him for a while, debating whether to claw his face or not. But she managed to calm herself
"So we're stuck here?"
"Yep, we're stuck here."
Yoruichi was silent for a moment, taking in everything that what Kisuke had just said implied. A question formed in the feline's mind, "What exactly will we be doing here for that whole time?"
"Oh, I'm sure we'll play it by ear. But for now, we need a place to stay." He was quite for another moment before he spoke up again. “How do I look?"
Yoruichi looked in the direction of Kisuke, but found a pony instead of a man.
He looked like one of the inhabitants of the town. He was covered in a dark green coat of fur, he had a pair of wings on his back, and he was still wearing his green and white stripped hat. On his ankles just above his hooves were white diamond shapes, and on his flank was the fan he always used. His mane was the same blond as his tail, and he still had the same slate-gray eyes as before.
"Well?" Kisuke asked
"You should fit right in."
"Good," Kisuke smiled.
He pointed a hoof at the town, "Because we are going to live there."
-----------------------------------
Twilight was heading back to her library. It was probably in one giant mess since she knocked nearly everything over when chasing the cat.
Twilight sighed. Now she would have to explain to the cat people from the other world how they lost one of their subjects to the Everfree forest.
Twilight's train of thought was interrupted by a sudden "Psst." Twilight's ears perked up.
"Psst." Twilight looked around to find the source of the sound.
"Psst. Twilight, keep your head down and come over here slowly."
"Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked. The sound seemed to be coming from a small bush. "What are you doing?"
"The baby birds have hatched." The bush said.
"The baby birds?" After a moment of thought, Twilight smiled in understanding. “Where are the baby birds right now?"
A pink hoof emerged from the bush pointing toward a dark green pegasus with a blonde mane and a green and white striped hat.
"I think I should give the baby birds a welcoming to the nest." Twilight said to the bush.
"Mother bird agrees." The bush said.
Twilight trotted over to the newcomer with a smile on her face.
"Hi there! Welcome to Ponyville." Twilight said.
The pegasus seemed a bit startled at being approached, but quickly recovered with a smile.
"Thank you." The pegasus said in a relaxed tone.” I was looking for a place to stay for a while, and this seems like a lovely little town you have."
Twilight beamed, “You can arrange for a place to stay with mayor mare at town hall. Thank you for deciding to stay here."
The pegasus nodded and headed for the center of Ponyville.
"Oh, Mister!" Twilight called after the newcomer. "I forgot to ask you your name."
The pegasus smiled slyly at this, and said, “You can call me Mr. Hat and Clogs."
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A couple of spelling errors but pretty good start to the story.
Kisuke Urahara in Equestria.... Not going to bother reading it, but I can tell there will be shenanigans. Especially with none other than Yoruichi, the Goddess of Flash Step with him.
You get your where and weres mixed up... kind of strange, because of lot of other worse errors that I expected were not here. Yeah, some minor grammar/spelling issues, but nothing even close enough to make me stop reading. Fairly interesting, though ponification annoys me. I'm hoping you can make this more interesting yet. Hope you have some ideas.
This was really good and I hope to see more, but this is the only part that ticked me off a bit,
Your language arts teacher may have taught you the age old rule, show, don't tell. This is one of those moments.
A Bleach crossover with Kisuke in Equestria?
static3.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Not+a+fan+of+One+Piece+_d683184c56229e829ffaa2fe86c5a33c.jpg
There were some grammar and spelling errors, but overall I liked it. I'll keep my eye on this.
I can't wait to see Fluttershy gush over Yoruichi in her cat form.
oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh the chaos
This. Is. My. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-*
explodes from too much awesome*
Neat, I'll be waiting for the next chapter, also, get an editor to catch any mistakes you miss.
I so totally figuring that Pinkie would jump out of null space or whereever or whatever like she normally does and nab Yoruichi
let her TRY to figure out PINKIE PIE
You know, this would be incredibly interesting...if only you hadn't ruined it with amateur writing, Mr. Author.
When will Yoruichi ditch the cat form? I wonder if Urahara will reveal his true form as well, after the hollows start showing up. Does this mean that Hueco Mundo could be used to travel between Equestria and the Material World/Soul Society?
Offenses: Repeated use of un-capitalized "I," weak or lacking description, and "off" characterization.
The premise was interesting but the text did not hold my interest.
I'll wait for the coming chapters before I decide to whether to follow or not. It has some promise as the concept is interesting but the actual end result still needs some work. I think there are some groups that have dedicated themselves to helping in these cases.
I recommend finding an editor as you seem to an interesting idea going on here and I for one wish see this at it's best.
An Exsperiment......why am I not surprised Mr. Hat and Clogs. one day your gonna blow up something...oh wait you did that.....several times
its either that or you try to kill some one in good nature....Like Ichigo every other week
3811229 Are there any good bleach crossovers minus this?
Favorite/thumbs up. Looking forwards to the updates.
3811465
Hollow in Equestria off the top of my head.
3811501 You my good sir, have all my love and affection for the reference. Thank you.
Well here we go again!
I really hope this story entices me to read every single chapter every consecutive time a chapter comes out like HiE. :P
This looks to be very entertaining so good luck!
Interesting.
As for grammar errors, there were many, but only two that bugged me. The first was uncapitalized "I's" and the second was the saying, "Play it by year," instead of, "Play it by ear."
Other than that, I enjoyed it some, though I'll have to wait and see how this ends up. It's a good idea, but it could easily fall flat if not handled properly. Just don't give the princesses zanpakutōs again, that was uncool.
Does have a few Errors here and there... But I do give you: Please... Do go on...
No seriously PLEASE make another chapter....
Ok there was some obvious spelling errors and in a few instances Twilight was somewhat OOC. This is a good start though and definitely has potential.
If you need an editor I'll be happy to provide the help.
simply, amazing.....
goddamn urahara-san. he's everywhere O_O
3810817 Then you can write a MLPxBleach crossover using your superior writing skills.
... Wow. So riddled with errors in grammar and word useage/spelling. Get editors and pre-readers, and then you'll have a good story. As is... it's pretty meh.
I would volunteer, but this semester is looking to be a doozy...
EPIC pleas continue
A pity Kisuke isn't wearing two sets of geta in his pony form, but I suppose his horseshoes will suffice
I almost expected him to be an alicorn given his badassery, but he's good enough as is.
Nice to know someone's doing a crossfic on my favorite Soul Reaper in Bleach. Color me interested.
Good story, but there are much better main characters in Bleach than that hobo.
Yoruichi is a girl ...
3813205 In cat form, it is actually quite a different story.
3812752 Sacreligious blasphemer!! Urahara is a pimp!
3812689 Knew you would be here.
3813227 ah, thanks for the clarification.
Okay, rant time.
You were doing fine in the beginning, then your grammar and spelling slowly rolled downhill from there. Kinda like you got bored of writing it, and decided to rush the rest of the chapter in hopes of finishing it before the idea left you. This does not bode well for continuing chapters.
All the characters seem to go through emotional cycles faster than Sonic can go through Green Hill Zone. You have AJ happy that you caught the cat, even though she was reluctant at first because she thought Twi was a bit bonkers. Then, you have her confused about how the cat cut the rope and disappeared. One or two lines after that she's depressed and sad because she failed a friend. Then another line or two later she's happy that Twilight cheered her up. Plus you had Twilight saying 'cheer up, we can get it later' even though not minutes before she was practically screaming at AJ to catch the cat because it was from another world.
Then we get to Twilight and Pinkie's little interaction. If Pinkie pointed out the cat with a new pony, Twilight would immediately put two and two together and say he was from the other world as well, seeing as the cat was with him. She would not just say 'hello and welcome'. She would get right up in his face and demand answers for questions she has about the other world.
And now we get to Kisuke himself. I feel like you haven't really watched enough Bleach to know about Kisuke's character. Yes, he's laid back and easy going, that much is true. But he's also a serious man, one who can calculate the outcome of a situation by glancing at it, and acting accordingly. He would not just say "let's go live in the town of ponies which we just met and I have had no personal experience with". He would stay back, maybe wait a day or two and observe from the Everfree Forest, finding out what ponies did, how they spoke, cultural snippets about them, etc. Plus he's somehow walking perfectly fine, despite only being a pony for not even an hour. Then after all this, we get to the introductions. Kisuke would not introduce himself as Mr. Hat and Clogs. That is what Ichigo calls him. He has made a point throughout the anime to introduce himself as Kisuke Urahara. That is his name, therefore when introducing himself to someone new, he does the polite thing and gives them his real name rather than the nickname a disrespectful teenager gives him.
Don't get me wrong. I like this story, and I'm hoping you can update fairly soon. I'm definitely tracking this to see how it turns out... I just have too many gripes with the small details that prevent me from up-voting it.
3812689 He is pretty awesome. I would agree with you on the Geta's, but it might be a bit weird having to explain why he's wearing clogs (another thing, he's not wearing clogs in this story, so introducing himself as Mr. Hat and Clogs is kinda redundant) when he doesn't need to, plus they would either make it awkward to walk with hooves, or would not stay attached to his feet. Then again, it's Kisuke, so maybe it would've been possible. As for alicorn... well, now he can't use Kido without a lot of red flags coming up for the ponies.
Yes... A couple of errors but otherwise yes... THIS PLEASES ME
3813578 My reaction to seeing this big of a comment on my story. http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131109151913/walkingdead/images/c/cc/Grandma_-_What_is_this_i_don't_even.jpg
I'm sorry if i didn't make it clear at the end, but Yoruichi was nowhere near Kisuke when he meet Twilight. Can't really respond to the rest of your comment without giving away too many spoilers. 
Thanks though for the insight on what you think, I really appreciate it.
I can see what you mean though about there being to many emotions in the first chapter. Guess I wanted there to be a bit of character development early on. I don't know.
Why is that familiar?
Only after reading the list of abilities and staring at the picture for ten seconds...
Why is that familiar?
Only after reading the list of abilities and staring at the picture for ten seconds...
3813721 Not trying to be rude, so please don't take this the wrong way.
You don't do character development like that. Character development is when you establish a flaw or flaws with a character, whether it be a physical or mental flaw, and gradually work to overcome it. If you want character development, a good example would be to have... let's say Twilight in this instance. To have Twilight, who was running mad about the 'cat not of this world', realize that she's going about it the wrong way, and calmly walk towards the cat instead of chasing it like a fat kid chases Twinkies, whereas she learns from then on out that she doesn't need to be so manic about discovery. You established she had a problem, and you worked your way through it, eventually fixing it. That is character development.
And I still say Kisuke would've introduced himself as Kisuke instead of Ichigo's nickname for him.
At one point, this have to happen!
3813984 Thanks for the tip on that. I'm kinda new to this whole story writing thing, as i'm only a freshman in HS, but really, thanks for information.
And I still stand by Kisuke introducing himself as "Mr. Hat and Clogs"
*Nudge* *Nudge*
3810565 Pinkie Pie is the true Goddess of the flash step.
Fun story idea, but plenty of OOC moments... It feels like you tried adapting the characters to fit a storyline you wrote first.
3812475 ...You know, your sense of irony is remarkably dull. I've read countless fanfictions, and just because it's a crossover or a Bleach crossover doesn't excuse the effort you need to make to have it work.
For one, the characterization is subpar. It's as if the person writing took one 2-minute look and saw these characters, inferred nothing about them, and tried to write them into the story. The first thing a writer must understand when working on a crossover is the characters they used. I personally like Bleach, and I don't feel as I'm reading the pre-existing character, but a new amalgamation holding their images. It's boring, and not what I signed up for in the first place. It's a bit like the 'Equestrian Wind Mage', it succeeds in some areas, while others fall flat. And unlike that fanfiction, it doesn't have the momentary on-par characterization of its actors to fall back on. I.E. On that point, it fucking fails.
On the other hand, it gets that little bit of world-building semi-correct, or at least on the MLP end, and Pinkie. However this is one of the only things it gets right. It fails in so many areas, I just had to dedicate an entire paragraph to its worst failing.
The language is terrible, broken, and in many places it needs to work on the syntax and formatting, along with the occasional spelling and grammar mistakes. The emotions fall flat, and some of the words are so overused, it may as well be comic. Finally, the pacing is subpar, and there are more holes in the plot than there is in Swiss cheese.
Now it's fine in many cases, but the overall ranking of this story is a '-B'. I.E. It is a fine way to waste a few minutes, but if you were looking for something serious, you may as well go elsewhere. If it worked on the areas specified, it may eventually be something, but for now, it is trite. However, I'm definitely keeping an eye on it, the premise itself, if done well enough, could be something to look forward to.
Well... Let the shenanigans commence as soon as possible.
3814372 So, because you've 'read countless fanfictions' you are an expert at understanding them . . . right. I have seen many reviewers like you who simply detract from a story simply because their stories fell flat on their faces.
Their is no perfect imitation of any character in any story found here or on any other website from book or anime. Why? Because only the creator of the character can actually say what this person would do in any given situation. Yes Kisuke and Yoruichi don't exactly fit up to snuff to what their normal personalities are but so what? This if fiction, and no story survives first contact without picking up some scarring. There will always be mark that define it from what it once was, whether they be subtle or noticeable.
This simply needs some spit and polish, an editor willing to look over it. If the author can get one of those, this story could shine. Besides, very few others seem to have a problem with this story the way you do.
And if you really want to go so far as to 'rate' it, be sure your own stories are actually noteworthy before passing judgment down on others. The thumbs up/down shows that your rating don't mean squat.
3812689 he is wearing a hat so we do not know yet if he has a horn
3814531 ...Oh? Spit and Polish? This story needs bleach. And if you're saying that my own stories should reflect my abilities as a writer, and a reviewer, then you're dead wrong. To rate my own stories, I wouldn't give them any markings, because in the simplest truth, they are not stories. They are half-finished ideas that I didn't see any point in continuing. They aren't good, there isn't a way to mesh those characters to another world, and I don't have the current experience to make them more than what they are. It's a tragedy that they won't see completion, but fuck it, I was just trying to see where they would go in the first place. And I agree with you when you say that the 'thumbs up/thumbs down' feature doesn't mean anything, but you have to realize that it means more than saying my own stories aren't up to snuff.
I nitpick, downgrade, and rate on a scale so I, and others can see potential, and quality. But when someone says I'm doing wrong with reviewing in the first place? That's not going to fly. I review, I criticize because I want a story to improve. I expect the best from anyone, and everyone. I don't want to live in a subpar world, where language is abused and walked over to the point where all I'm looking at is mush, and thus I try to seek improvement as far as I can. Your arguments stagnate the pool of filth that I'm trying to raise and improve, and it bothers me that you think this is the best that can be done. So to conclude, here are the three problems, I have with what you're saying.
1.
This is what I'm trying to fix. Fiction, and fanfiction should be well-written. We don't live in a day where what you try to write is wish-fulfillment, and puke spat on the face of ideas. Ideals aren't perfect, and I don't expect perfection. And no, some stories survive first contact, but the fanon clichés are another thing. If we left what wasn't 'up-to-snuff' the way it was, it would never improve. It's like you're trying to advocate stupidity.
2.
Yeah, so what? Just because there is no such thing as perfection, does not mean there isn't a 'close-as-possible? If every story had readers like you, we'd be stuck in the dark ages. If all Bleach had in the beginning were readers like you, they would have NEVER hit off. They'd be back in the 'D' ranks instead of one of the top three mangas in current market.
3.
And you think that I don't like it. What I don't like isn't the story, its the lackluster characters, flip-flopping emotions, and the massive gaping plot holes. It's not that I think the story 'could' shine, I expect it to. I want this story to be as best as possible, and your and some of these other comments do nothing for this story, or tell it where it fails. Besides me, and one or two others, all is see is a bunch of fanboys defending a 'concept' that's not being attacked in the first place, and to them I say 'Get off your high horse, the story is fine. All I want is for the author to improve his characters, fill in the dialogue, and remove the still-gaping holes in the plot.'. Is it too much to ask that you guys look at 3813578? All I'm doing is saying the same things he is, a little bit more aggressively.
It's hard to find a meme that will truly fit how I feel listening to you...so here's one that will surely get across my message.
reallifephilippines.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Implied-Facepalm.jpg
I mean, it's not like I downvoted the thing, I just didn't favorite. Come on, guys, it's not that bad.
3814982 Alright, then tell me something. Why is it that, if this story has so many mistakes as you say it does, have such a popular rating? Why are there so few others making any notice of it?
I understand what you're saying, I really do. You're just going about it the wrong way. Most of the authors here take criticism like most children being told by their parents to eat their vegetables, with open rebellion. You don't try to bash their kneecaps with your bat of 'logic', you have to guide them through it without making it sound like you're politely phrasing it as 'go screw yourself'. Harsh criticism garners only more harsh criticism. I learned this the hard way when I tried something similar on a different story. The reviewers follow herd mentality, if enough people like/dislike before hand then others will follow in their footsteps. They won't see it the way it should be seen, through their eyes, but through the eyes of those who did like the story. Trying to raise a cry against a popular enough story is like being the man on the street corner calling for doomsday. A few may listen but the majority will just walk right on by without a second glance, a few even going as far as to chuck stuff at the man.
It's like inception, you gotta make it seem like they came up with the idea themselves otherwise they'll just shut you out and continue with what they're doing.