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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Dis is gunna be good,
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9242-Uberhappy_Derpy.png
He hath returned... the forces of chastity and cleanliness shall tremble. It is a good day to be on FiM.
EDIT:
There's a really odd tense error where the story shifts from past to present.
Pretty decent really, but I'd be happier if you had the muse for a full story again. No author has really been able to match the intensity you have.
3028130 Wow, and I spent a whole other hour after the hour writing to edit it. Guess that's what happens when you're running a one-woman show.
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And yeah, I know what you mean. Personally, I'm glad I wasn't able to fit everything in the one hour, that means I must be getting a feel for it again. Well, editing's done (again) and it's time to get to work on Ch. 2.
This Fluttershy shows a fascinating case of aggressive submissiveness. It is quite sexy as well, and to hear that this will be continued makes me glad.
Now that I think about it, I like it when Fluttershy has a voracious sexual appetite.
Well then, I like ;)
I was worried for a moment that this would've ended up like the other MacxShy clop stories where it turned to soft gentle loving. This would have to be the second story that proved me wrong.
3036941 I'd love to see the first.
For... Research purposes. Yeah, that's it. Research.
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Still not marked "complete"? Will there be more to come? That would be delightful!
3037104 Just an epilogue. Might get a bit more play in there, but I doubt it'll be the near-2000-words of pure sexist debauchery this chapter was.
3037079 Here it is, don't know if you've seen it before or not but I'm not one to deny another's 'scientific study' null
DENIED.
Mad? No.
Confused? No.
Aroused? You know it.
Well darn. I was hoping they'd become a little more than Fuck buddies. But I guess you can't win them all. Good story
Well, this certainly caught my eye. This I shall read.
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*Later after reading it*
... What...?
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will there be a sequel? a rough threesome between applejack, big mac and fluttershy would be awesome!
Friends with really good benefits. You know, I wouldn't be surprised to find out if Big Mac was doing ALL of the Mane Six
I demand Applejack sequel
if I could take back my 1 hour of time I used to read this I would never do it this was just to good in my...well um alone time I was vary vary happy (in more places then one) about this read Mother of celestia this was sexy but I do want the three way to happen so plz new story?I beg u sir may we plz have more
I saw that Skyrim reference hehe...
Damn, that was hot.
I got violated...through the computer.
It was very good. Not the kind of story that gets me motor running but I can't deny that you have mad skills.
I found some errors, but I am currently too lazy to tell you where they are. Remind me to do it later, ja?
3037079 Never got around to asking but did you find the fic?
Очень хорошо!
Translation:very good!
Greetings from the prereaders of the Good Grammar Directory! We are currently working through a huge backlog of stories, and I would personally like to apologize for the lateness of this assessment.
I do apologize for this, but these errors do mark the story as unacceptable at this time. The first bolded comma is TECHNICALLY not definitely an error as some people might pause there when speaking, but doing so doesn't feel natural when I try to read it aloud as the thought flows better without placing a pause there. The third comma is similar; it's not technically an error, but it feels clumsy. Half a strike has been taken off for each of these two. The other bolded commas should be semicolons, as they link independent clauses without use of a conjunction and do not constitute a list.
If you wouldn't mind giving this over to someone for a high-quality editing pass I'm sure it could pass with screaming orgasms... I mean flying colors, on a resubmission.
On a personal note, I have placed this in my Read Later folder so that I can give it a look when my mind isn't in critique mode.