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Rainbow Dash+Soarin'=<3388 stories ·780 members
Soarin has everything a stallion could dream of. A job as Wonderbolt, the most beautiful mare at his side and now even a son of his own. Yes, he has everything, so why does he need to sneak out of their house while Rainbow is out, training with the Wonderbolts?
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This is a really good story. It shows a moment in life that may be small and only happen once, but it won't be forgotten by those who lived it. I seen him asking, but never did I see it like this. Stories like this warms my heart and make me cry a bit. I truly enjoy this story, thank you for writing it.
A nice SoarinDash story, but it could definitely use some more editing. The dialogue feels very stilted (does Spitfire seem like the type of pony to say "He is" rather than "He's"?) and some of the grammar is off:
That should be "Soarin was the first to know, and he was as taken aback as she was." If not, you're probably better off using a semicolon to separate these two clauses, because the first half doesn't transition well into the second.
This story....I like it....ANOTHER!
Your stories always make me feel feels and I absolutely love the writing style. Keep writing bro!
SoarinDash story? Insta-fave! I can't wait to give this story a read. I love SoarinDash, it's my second or third favorite shipping overall.
I think i need to get to the ER.
You have given me the D'aww flu.
sorry.
3030384
I really do love this pairing.
3030397
*Clicks 'follow'* Should have done that a long time ago.
It really is a fantastic pairing. Hey, have you joined my Rainbow-Soarin' group?
Hm... *Checks all of your stories*
You're gonna go far kid!
3030907
Thanks, I hope so. I have one story done at the moment which should be ready by the end of the week to post, and i am currently writing 3 other fics. I hope to be posting a lot more.
I noticed a terrible thing about this fic.
It ended.
Congrats on being featured and take my thumbs up for a good Soarindash story
3031354
I wasn't featured though. Was it?
3031389 When I logged in it was the first story in the featured section. Then again, sometimes it does that for a few minutes. I also have Mature stories turned off. But yeah, I saw it up there a few minutes ago.
3031431
Like in the feature box?
3031436 Don't worry, it's in both feature boxes.
Yes, your story's in the featured box. Congrats, it deserves to be up there.
3031688
Thanks, wow, I can't believe it!
Ooooooo. That's Adaaaawable. XD
3032146
Thanks.
3032149 Thou art Welcome. :D
I'm glade to see you made it to the box. I would thought they would put it faster, but I guess they need time to clean the tears stains on their muzzles.
my heart!!!! it hurts!!!
3032269
Rainbow Dash! I am so sorry.
Few small inconsistencies I found.
Unless Blitz can change genders on a whim, I think it's supposed to be 'him'.
Err... He just changed races.
There were a few other small things, too. Like your tendency to say "S/He was taken back" instead of 'S/He was taken aback'.
Otherwise, great story. I really enjoyed your style of writing.
3033437
Thanks, glad you liked it. Thanks also for pointing that stuff out.
3033471
No problem.
[EDIT]
I forgot to mention this one, whoops.
This one's right above the previous race-swapping mistake I pointed out earlier.
This is a very well-crafted plot, but the writing is somewhat lacking. The characterizations here are fantastic, and the climax is absolutely adorable. Unfortunately, much of the writing is haphazard and lacks flow. In several sections, the story seems to run off on a tangent, spewing out unnecessarily long descriptions that don't serve to support the story at all. Here are a few examples of some awkward paragraphs:
Like many sections in the story, this part would benefit greatly from reading it aloud and hearing how it sounds. The lack of contractions makes the dialogue sound strange, especially since the speaker in question is excited. Saying that Radiant Gem is whispering right after he says "oh that's why we're whispering" is redundant, because it's safe for the reader to assume he's whispering again. I would have rewritten it like so:
The card scene drags on too long, and I think you really missed that brief moment of silence when the sound is sucked out of the room right before Soarin proposes to Rainbow Dash. Here's another random paragraph:
Don't tell us that Soarin "entered through the door", describe him walking through the door. You're also missing a dash on maze-like and use the wrong tense of "laid". I would have rewritten this like so:
Try to be more concise in your writing, and remember that you should show, not tell.
Thanks for the comment, I can tell you took your time making it. I will remember that for next time, I mean I am no professional by any sorts. I am just a kid who woke up some day and decided to do fanfiction, just on whim. As I bet many of you can tell, my English is quite lacking, it has always been my downfall in school, the one class I couldn't really excel at. If any of my former teachers knew that I was writing now, I think they would be amazed, heck I am amazed. I know I have a long way to go, but with the help of this site and the community I feel like maybe someday I can get there, be like these big authors on the site, have a lot of followers, write great fanfiction. Thanks again for the comment, and the help, hope you enjoyed the story overall.
So spitfire won the bet of 4 weeks
3035254
yes.
Nice story! First, I knew right from the beginning that he was proposing which was annoying. Right when you talked about a special day as he grabbed the hoodie. Second, you kept saying Blitzy. My puppy`s name is Blizzard and we call her Blizzy so every time I read Blitzy I thought of Blizzy and I smiled every time. Very cute!
3035371
Haha, thanks.
I don't even have a proper comment. SoarinDash pisses me off, but good luck with your story anyway.
3035635 You're right. You didn't have a proper comment.
Aw, that was so sweet! ^^
3036043
Is your name a reference to evil con carne? I loved that cartoon.
It's not like I can say anything about the story anyway, every one of these has the exact same plot and synopsis. You seen one, you've seen them all.
3036153 Nah. Chilli Con Carne. The food. Don't be fooled though, I hate it.
3036222
Hm, interesting. I don't really like chili myself, but if I'm ever in a position to try it I will.
Awww
Bravo! This is truly a master at one of his finest. I love Soarin' and Rainbow Dash as a couple. This made me shed tears like a dripping sink.
10/10 story, no doubt about it.
Feely feels.
I know I'm smiling so stupidly right now.
10/10...
horses are pregnant for 11 months
3038637
Yes, that's true. But she only said 'sidelined for six months'(unable to fly), not 'pregnant for six months'.