• Published 11th Aug 2013
  • 5,311 Views, 56 Comments

A Day in the Life - Subsolar Drift



A day in the life of two lovers.

  • ...
15
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 5,311

Same Old, Same Old

I soared through the skies, enjoying the early morning sun on my back and the wind in my mane. I turned and bucked, busting a cloud to pieces and finishing my quota for the day. A few more easy tasks and I would be done. I did a loop in the air and headed off towards Sweet Apple Acres.

I love the mornings, though not many ponies know. Nothing is quite like flying on the morning breeze, seeing the world before everypony wakes up and disturbs it. It's one of the most peaceful things in the world.

After letting the clouds drain over the apple trees for a few minutes, I was off. It was great being the fastest pony in Equestria. I got my weather work done so quickly that I clock off about an hour after I arrived. It gave me plenty of time to fly, read, or spend time with my friends.

I decided to stop in town to get some flowers before I headed home. Call me romantic, but I like to be a good marefriend. I landed in the market, acknowledged a few hellos, and made my way to one of the flower stalls. There were never any lines in the morning; no one ever seemed to go shopping that early so I could get what I needed quickly.

I smiled as I approached the counter. "Hey, Roseluck!" I looked over the flowers around her booth. "Could I have a dozen of your best roses?" She nodded and I hoofed over the bits.

Just as I grabbed the bouquet and turned to go, I heard a pony calling my name. I turned to see who it was and was greeted by a frantic Lyra.

"Hey, Lyra. What's up?" I asked.

"Rainbow, I need your help!" she gasped.


Dealing with Lyra had taken longer than I thought it would and it was nearly ten by the time I got home. I opened the door to the library as quietly as I could, trying not to disturb Twilight. Luckily she wasn't a morning pony and would probably still be dead to the world.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a vase, filled it with water, and put the flowers in. I set it down on a table in the living room and headed on up to Twi's- our room. I was still getting used to thinking of Twilight's room as ours. After living on my own for so long it was different thinking of this as my home. Different... but nice.

I crept up the stairs, opened the door to our room, and peeked in. Sure enough, she was fast asleep and totally adorable. Her breathing was calm and peaceful, her face a soft smile. Every now and then, she would mumble something or twitch in her sleep.

I snuck in, careful to close the door behind me without making a sound. I tiptoed to her side and slid into bed, enjoying the warmth she gave off. She mumbled a bit as I got in.

"Shhh," I whispered as I wrapped my hoof around her. "It's just me." She grew quiet and was calm once again. Her breaths were peaceful and her body was warm. Together, they lulled me off to a peaceful sleep filled with dreams of clouds and lavender.


"Lyra!" I called out, bringing her to a halt in a street a few blocks away from the market. We'd headed off and taken a winding path that doubled back on itself several times as if she was trying to throw somepony off our trail.

"Can you just tell me what's going on?" I asked, exasperated. "I have things I'd like to do today and I don't really have time to run around in circles all over town."

"I'm just making sure that nopony follows us." she assured me. "We've probably lost anypony who was following us now though."

"Good," I sighed. "Now can you tell me what this is all about?"

She looked from side to side shiftily, moving closer when she was sure nopony was watching. "Let's go somewhere more private than here," She whispered conspiratorially and dashed off again. I stared off after her, unamused. With a groan, I followed.


For the second time that day, I woke before Twilight. My eyes opened to light streaming through the curtains. Twilight had curled up against me in her sleep, her head resting on my chest. I chuckled as she mumbled something incomprehensible and gently kissed her in reply. She smiled softly and moved closer to me, mumbling my name.

Unable to help myself, I leaned in and kissed her again. She giggled, her eyes fluttering ever so slightly. Feeling mischievous, I moved further down and kissed her neck. She twitched and pressed herself against me. I spoiled my own fun, unable to stop myself from chuckling.

She blinked as she woke up, still dazed from sleep. Her eyes found mine and she smiled. "Morning, Dashie," she yawned.

"Morning, sleepyhead." We laid in bed for a while. It was too nice and too warm to get out. I could've stayed there with her forever.

Unfortunately, the universe wouldn't allow that. The door opened and I heard the soft pitter-patter of feet. Sure enough, moments later Spike was at the side of the bed trying to decide if Twilight and I were awake or not. A couple of months ago, my snoring would've been a dead giveaway, but thanks to a spell from Twi, no more snoring from this mare.

I squeezed Twilight gently, feeling her body relax and letting mine follow suit. Spike stood there for a minute as Twi and I faked our sleep. Finally, he said, "Rainbow, Twilight, I know you two are faking so come on, it's time to get up."

Calling his bluff, we stayed still. When there was no change in our position, Spike groaned.

"Of course," he muttered, "this time they're actually asleep. Go figure." With that he left the room, closing the door behind him. I was about to move when the door swung open again. Twilight and I held our breath as Spike, once again, shut the door. This time we waited a few seconds before we moved.

"That was close," I chuckled.

"Too close," she agreed, giving me a kiss.

"We'll just have to be more careful next time."

She giggled and said, "May our morning sleep-ins never come to an end!"

I opened my mouth to speak but her stomach growled before I could. She blushed and I chuckled lightly. "Come on, Twi. Let's get some food in that tummy!"

We got up and headed down to the kitchen. Spike was there already and let out a sigh when he saw us enter.

"So you really were awake?" he asked. We both nodded, Twilight already grabbing herself some of the pancakes that Spike had made. Having already eaten, I just got myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.

We sat there in peace and quiet as I sipped my coffee and Twilight ate. It was a morning just like any other. When Twilight finished, she excused herself to the bathroom and I got up and headed into our living room. I ran over my schedule for the day in my head; a habit that had rubbed off on me since Twilight and I hooked up.

I'd already finished my work shift for the day so all I had left was paperwork. I figured it really wouldn't take more than an hour to do, so I grabbed it and sat down at the table. I wanted to get as much done as possible so I could spend the day with Twilight.

I filled out the forms without really paying much attention to them. It was mindless and tedious work that I had already done a million times over. My thoughts kept drifting up to Twilight in the shower.

Soon enough, she was back downstairs. I greeted her with a kiss, her cheeks turning the cutest shade of pink. She trotted over to the wall where her schedule for the week was pinned.

"So," I started, "What's the plan for today?"

"Nothing's scheduled, so we have the day to ourselves." She smiled and walked past me, rubbing her side against mine. "So what would you like to do, Dashie?"

"W-well," I stammered, my work already forgotten as I tried to hide my blush. "It's pretty nice out and the farmer's market is today. We could go for a walk; maybe stop by and see what's for sale."

"That sounds like a great idea!" We grabbed our saddle bags, some bits, and turned to leave. Twilight stopped as she spotted the vase on the table.

"Rainbow!" she gasped, "Did you get me flowers?"

I grinned and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Of course!"

After a quick nuzzle, she went to the table and nibbled at one of the roses. "Roseluck's?" she asked.

I nodded and said, "I thought they looked pretty good." Twi trotted back over to me and kissed me on the forehead.

"They do. Thanks, Dashie. You're the best."

"I know," I chuckled.

The sun was bright as we stepped outside. It was a beautiful day and everypony was out enjoying it. Foals played in the street, birds sang in the trees, friends were out chatting and couples relaxed in the sun. Everypony was in a good mood and there wasn't a frown to be seen.

The town square was packed with stalls - piled high with fresh produce - and shoppers trying to find the best deals and the best food. Applejack was hoofing over a bushel of apples to a customer. On the other side of the market Pinkie bounced around several confectioners' booths, looking like a foal in a candy store. Rarity and Fluttershy were browsing an artist's wares nearby while they chatted.

Our grocery day wasn't for another week, but there wasn't a line at Applejack's stall so we stopped to say hello.

"How's life on the farm?" I asked, hitting AJ on the shoulder.

"Oh, ya know. Early mornings, hard work, and family!" she laughed, giving me a punch back. The three of us caught up until we noticed the growing line of ponies behind us.

"See ya soon!" I called, beginning to head over to the other side of the square. She waved back and grinned already talking to her next customer.

Soon, Twi was "ooh"-ing and "aah"-ing over all the paintings and sculptures. Her eyes were big, looking over each piece in detail. She talked to the vendors about their work, listening intently to their every word. I just smiled softly, looking at my own pace.

I heard her gasp and turned to see what had caught her attention. Her eyes were fixed on an inkwell carved from marble. It was beautifully crafted. It was in the shape of a spiral with an alicorn, a dragon, a griffon, and a minotaur surrounding the base. Each was hoof made, every detail perfect. Near the top, there was a layer of clouds and then a sun and moon.

Twilight picked it up with her magic to examine it more carefully. She studied it with fascination. I took the opportunity while she was distracted and walked over to the pony selling it.

"Did you make that inkwell?" I asked.

"Nope, I can't carve for the life of me," she chuckled.

"Where'd ya get it?"

"I travel and find pieces of art and other stuff from all over. Bring 'em back here and sell 'em on. Got that particular one in the far east; some province of Chineigh."

"How much?"

"Well, as far as I know, it's one of a kind. Can't get much like it either around these parts." She rubbed her chin. "But I'm a nice mare, so I'll give it to you for sixty bits."

"Sixty? Fat chance," I scoffed. "I'll give ya forty-five."

"That's from Chineigh, no way is it worth only forty-five bits. Make it fifty-five."

"No. Fifty bits. That's as high as I'll go."

She weighed the offer in her head. "Fine," she sighed. "You drive a hard bargain."

Grinning, I paid before heading back to Twi. "Hey, Twi. Do you remember that first week you were in Ponyville?" I asked.

"Of course, I could never forget that week."

"Remember when I first crashed into the library?" I laughed.

"Do I..." she groaned. "I spent forever cleaning up the mess you made. There were books and ink everywhere. If I hadn't made you help me, it would've taken me forever to clear up."

"Well, since I broke all of those inkwells and never really made it up to you, I thought I'd finally buy you a new one."

"Wait." She paused then looked down at the inkwell floating in her magic. "You bought this for me?"

"You betcha!" My vision was filled with purple and my lips met Twilight's

"My, my. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, you should get yourselves a room!" Rarity gasped in mock horror.

We both broke apart, blood filling our cheeks. Rarity laughed at our display, Fluttershy giggling quietly beside her.

"Heya Rares! How's it going?" I deflected the conversation away from the kiss.

"It's going quite well, thank you for asking." She paused before adding, "Though, not quite as well as you two seem to be going."

The blush returned with a vengeance. "W-well," I stuttered. "I... Well, Twi... Uhh..." My mouth flapped and Twilight just laughed. She showed Rarity and Fluttershy the inkwell and the three of them all admired it.

We continued to talk and moved on to the next stall, Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy looking over the items and chatting while I browsed and occasionally chimed in. Fluttershy was very fond of several plates made to resemble animals and Rarity bought several pieces of jewelry that she could use to accessorize her dresses.

Soon thereafter, Fluttershy and Rarity said their goodbyes and headed off to the spa for their weekly appointment. Twilight and I began to wander, side-by-side, leaving the market. We made our way to the park, deciding to take advantage of the beautiful day.

"I dunno," I said as we sat down by the river. "I still think that Supermare would beat Batmare in a fight." We'd found a nice shady spot under a tree and it was the perfect temperature in the shade.

"Are you kidding?" Twi laughed. "Even if Supermare has all those powers, Batmare is a genius. She'd find some way to win. I'd be willing to bet she has a stash of kryptonite somewhere, just in case."

"No way!" I shook my head. "You may be an egghead, Twi, but you're totally off here."

"Well then I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree," she concluded.

"Sure, whatever,Twi." We both laughed.


Lyra spun and checked the surrounding area for any onlookers. After a moment, she was satisfied and crouched down next to me. Needless to say, I was annoyed. "Lyra," I groaned, "Is this really necessary?"

"Shhh!" she whispered. "Somepony could hear you." She took a moment to check if anypony was investigating the noise. "And yes, it is necessary."

"Lyra," I deadpanned. "We are hiding in a bush. A bush. What could possibly be so secretive and important that we need to hide in a bush to talk about it?!" I shifted about, trying to sit somewhere the branches wouldn't stab me. "Couldn't we do this in - oh, I don't know - your house?!"

"No, Bon Bon might hear us if we go there." She gulped and stuck her head out of the bush to check once more, as if saying her marefriend's name would summon her to the spot. "It's of the utmost importance that she doesn't know anything about this." She turned towards me, giving me a death stare.

"Got it." I gulped, knowing all too well not to incur the wrath of an angry unicorn.

Lyra took a deep breath. "Alright, Rainbow. You have to promise that you won't tell anyone about this." With a sigh, I nodded. She looked at me gravely. "Pinkie Promise."

"Fine," I groaned. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Happy?" She nodded. "Now tell me what this is about!" I snapped. I'm not normally the most patient of ponies and when I have a beautiful mare waiting for me I'm even worse.

"Well, it's not the easiest thing to just say." She gulped. I glowered at her and she gave me a guilty smile. "But, I guess I'll say it anyway. Rainbow Dash, I need your advice."

"That's what this is about?" I asked with a dangerous tone, "All this stealth for advice?"

"I need relationship advice," she whispered, wincing as she said it.

"Oh." I was silent for a moment before mumbling, "That's not exactly what I thought you wanted..."

"All I said was that it was something only you could help me with," Lyra reasoned. "I never said it was a monster or even anything that would need fighting." Unfortunately, she was right. Me and my overactive imagination.

"Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Lyra, but I'm not the best mare to ask about relationships." I shifted uncomfortably, still getting stabbed by the branches. "Twi's my first marefriend. You might be able to ask Rarity though; I know she reads tons of Romance novels, and that kinda stuff is totally up her alley."

"But that's why I came to you!" She grabbed my hoof. "You and Twilight are so happy together, even though it's your first time! You have to be doing something right!"

Moved by the desperation in her eyes, I sighed. "Alright, what do you need help with? You and Bon Bon seem to be getting along great."

She closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her hooves. "We are getting along great. She's an incredible mare and I really enjoy being around her. She's funny and sweet, and I feel happy when I'm with her!"

"So," I interrupted, "What's the problem then?"

"She said that she loved me," Lyra muttered.

"And that's a problem?" I asked, confused. I'd always heard that the 'I love you' talk was a big thing for couples, but it hadn't been a problem for me and Twi.

Lyra didn't answer right away, instead just looking at the ground. Right as I was about to clear my throat, she answered, "I don't know what to say back to her."

"Huh?"

"This is my first relationship. I've never felt anything like what I feel for Bon Bon, and I think I do love her. But I don't want to hurt her by saying that it's love if it isn't." She looked up at me with pleading eyes. "How do you know when you're in love?"


All too soon it was time to get up and head home. Twilight had to do some research for the Princess and I still had to finish my paperwork.

We took our time with the walk home, not eager to head inside and leave the beautiful day.

An assortment of books, some paper, a quill, and some inkwells were wrapped in her magic and floated over to the couch. She trotted over to her supplies, settled down, and began to work. I sat down at the table and pulled the paperwork from earlier over to me. I set my quill to paper and began to fill out the forms.

It was nearly an hour later when, with one last flourish, I signed the last sheet and finished my paperwork. I put down the quill and yawned. I glanced over to Twilight, who was still engrossed in her reading. I stood up, paused for a moment to work out the kink in my neck, and headed over to Twi. With a flap of my wings, I was on the couch next to her. She let out the cutest "eep" of surprise and blushed as I squirmed and made myself comfortable.

It wasn't long before that Twi and I would've had to make do on the floor, but after one too many splinters I had decided to get a couch. Needless to say the bits were well spent.

"Hey Twi." I poked her side. "Can you float me over a Daring Do?" I smiled an innocent smile, only to have her roll her eyes. "Please, honey?" I added, making my voice sweet and soft. "For me?"

She did her best to avoid my wide eyes and smoldering smile, but failed miserably. "Fine," she grumbled, the book I'd requested hovering in front of us moments later.

"Thanks!" I dropped the cute charade, pecked her on the cheek, and settled down to read.

She regarded me as I opened the book. "You know, sometimes I swear you're only dating me so you can use my magic when you're too lazy to move."

"You betcha! That and you make cute noises." I nudged her side again, earning another "eep". "See?"

"Hey!" She rubbed the spot where I'd poked her. A mischievous grin came over her face. "I'm not the only one who makes cute noises, Dashie..." She let her voice trail off dangerously. I only had an instant to look over towards her before she had me trapped beneath her, my stomach exposed.

"Twilight, honey, there's no need for you to do anything rash!" I gulped, acting cute and hoping that she'd show mercy.

"But Dashie, turnabout is fair play," she replied sweetly, and with that, she was upon me, jabbing and tickling all of my weakest spots, eliciting noises from me which she deemed 'cute'. I struggled desperately to escape my torture, but her magic kept me firmly where I was.

Eventually, she tired of torturing me and pulled me into a kiss instead. I was surprised, and breathless from her tickling, but I quickly melted into the kiss and wrapped my forelegs around her. We broke apart, breathing hard, and grinned. Soon enough we were kissing again.


For me it was an easy answer. "I knew I loved Twilight the day I gave up being a Wonderbolt."

Lyra's jaw dropped. Her mouth opened and closed, but she couldn't find any words. I just laughed.

"Yep, the great Rainbow Dash doesn't want to be a Wonderbolt anymore. It's hard to believe, isn't it?" It grew quiet as my smile faded.

"But... Why?" Lyra asked. "You' always used to talk about how you trained since you were a filly to become a Wonderbolt, and how it was your life's goal.

I shrugged. "Things change. When I fell in love with Twi, my whole life changed. I'm happier with her than I am in the sky, happier than I was at the Wonderbolt's Academy, and happier than when I was with the Wonderbolts. When I'm with her, there is no place I'd rather be.

"Everything I could gain from being a Wonderbolt isn't nearly as precious to me as Twilight is. She's the most important thing in my life, and that doesn't even begin to explain how I feel. The only way to say it is that I love her." Lyra's mouth had finally closed and she wore a pensive expression.

"Lyra, if you love Bon Bon you'll know." I paused then added, "Try to imagine your life without her."

She frowned in thought and soon began to look uncomfortable. "It's hard to think about," she managed after a minute. "Bon Bon and I have been together for so long and she's such a big part of my life. I can't really imagine what it would be like without her."

"I don't even want to imagine my life without Twi," I said. "She's just too important to me to even consider losing. No matter what I want to be there with her."

She nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Dash. You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for." I chuckled at that. "I do love Bon Bon. I have for a long time. I think I finally get that now."

"No problem, Lyra. I'm glad I could help." I grinned. "I'll see you around sometime. You've got a mare that you should go talk to." With that, I fought my way out of the bush and quickly set off to where the mare I loved awaited me.


The evening had passed without incident. Our impromptu make out session had been interrupted by the arrival of Spike, who had made dinner. It was as delicious as ever and was quickly devoured. After we cleaned up, we all settled down and relaxed in the living room. Spike was laid down near the fire with a comic I'd suggested he read.

"Be careful not to get too close to the fire, Spike." Twilight warned.

"Don't be so paranoid, Twilight," Spike groaned. "I've been around fire and books my whole life."

"And yet you still burned the Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy," she reminded him.

"That was a fluke!" He pouted.

"It's fine. Just don't let it happen again."

Spike nodded and began to read. I picked up the Daring Do that had fallen to the floor, forgotten when Twilight had begun to tickle me. She floated over a science fiction adventure novel that had arrived the day before. Our little family quickly became engrossed in our reading as the day drew to a close.

All too soon, Spike fell asleep reading the comic and his snores filled the room. Twilight wrapped him in magic and took him upstairs to tuck him in. I closed the copy of Daring Do and put it back on the shelf before heading upstairs as well. I quickly got ready for bed and laid down.

"It's been a long day," Twilight yawned as she settled down next to me.

"You say that every day," I giggled.

"And yet you still laugh," she replied. I spread my wing out over her and she laid her head on my shoulder.

"What can I say? You're a funny mare." I rested my head on top of hers. "And not just funny looking. In fact," I added. "You're the most beautiful mare in the entire world."

Twi pulled herself closer to me and let out a happy sigh. "Dash?" she asked.

"Yeah, Twi?"

"I love you," she said simply.

I paused before answering. "I've been thinking about love a lot today. Lyra came and talked to me about it. She was afraid that what she was feeling with Bon Bon wasn't love. She wanted to know how I felt, and I just can't get it out of my mind.

"I love you, Twi. I love you more than the sky. I love you more than flight. I love you more than the sun and the moon. I love you more than the air I breathe and I love you more than I can put into words.

I closed my eyes, feeling the beat of Twilight's heart and listening to the sound of her breath. "I will love you, forever and always."

There was no place I would rather be.

Author's Note:

For bats. Many thanks to Timaeus, Prof. Yana, Skeeter, and Twilight the Pony for prereading. Thanks to Cynical for editing.

Comments ( 56 )

This was a fun thing to help out with. And an enjoyable read, too.

Very well done on it, dude.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Ah, TwiDash. I can't wait to give this very promising story a read.

3024535 Hopefully it won't disappoint!

4 upvotes, 3 views.

Wat.

SH*T, DASH

YOU BROKE A PINKIE PROMISE

YOU ARE SO BONED

what the fuck is with people making me like rainbow dash.
damnit thar like 5 fics that have gotten my to like that blue Olympian softball team member.
arrogant loudmouthed douchey pegasus.
now write a different mane six daawww ship so i can stop hating myself for upvoteing and faveing this.

3024648 There is a TwiPie in the works.

3024661
a difficult yet compelling pairing.
second in difficulty in my eyes to celestia pinkie,of whitch ive only seen one done well.
cant remeber the title though. caught it on e.q.d. some time ago.

"Lyra," I deadpanned. "We are hiding in a bush. A bush. What could possibly be so secretive and important that we need to hide in a bush to talk about it?!" I shifted about, trying to sit somewhere the branches wouldn't stab me. "Couldn't we do this in - oh, I don't know - your house?!"


"Got it." I gulped, knowing all too well not to incur the wrath of an angry unicorn

I think something is missing here, or I'm not seeing something. Good work on this, I like how you made Dash's thought processes.

3024706 Thanks for seeing that, the GDocs transfer missed that paragraph somehow.

To be honest, Rainbow's voice seems slightly too formal throughout the piece. In the show, her speech patterns and word choice tend to be relatively casual. She wouldn't think/say something like "dreamed of clouds and lavender," for example. It's a nice line, but it doesn't feel very Dash-y, at least to me.

That aside, though, this was still very cute. I always enjoy seeing how simple, everyday moments can be the sweetest when they're shared with a loved one. Warm fuzzies all around. :twilightsmile:


3024661
Boooo! Twidash is the one ship to rule them all. :trollestia:

All those poor "EHRMERGERD DASH ISN'T A WUNDERBERT" fans are gonna be ma~d

Oh, I liked this. :pinkiehappy:
The structure was fun and interesting, what with the non-linear timeline narrative... thing. I don't know the term. It was cool.
The actual content itself gave me the warm and fuzzies something fierce. Adorable and fluffy, nothing really happened, but I enjoyed every second of that nothing.
Romantic slice of life at it's finest, I suppose. :heart:
Hell, I think you might've even managed to warm the cold, blackened lump that is all that remains of my heart. :twilightsmile:

3025001 Thanks zaponator! It was fun to write the kinda nothing fluffy story for once.

Loved it, thank you for giving me another TwiDash to read! It was worth the wait.

Dawwww that was nice great job!

this is one of my favorite one shot twidash romances!

Right in the feels at the end there... :pinkiesad2:

Awww, this was quite adorable! I love it when these two are all kissy and cuddly! Good job! :twilightsmile:

3026088>>3026308>>3026758>>3026809>>3027164 I'm glad you all liked it!

Dash. Pinkie Promises. You don't break them :pinkiecrazy: Seriously, why was that necessary?

On the one hand, I rather liked this fic overall. On the other hand, Rainbow Dash gave up her life-long dreams of becoming a Wonderbolt? And Twilight let her just give up her dreams like that? Doesn't sit right with me.

3028914 She didn't really give up her dream, her dreams changed. She still loves to fly but becoming a Wonderbolt means a long time away from home and away from the one she loves. She doesn't want that.

3028938
Yeah, but it just seems like Rainbow Dash is willing to give up her dreams for Twilight, but Twilight isn't willing/able to help her achieve her dreams? It seems a bit one-sided to me. I dunno if what I am saying makes a whole lot of sense to anyone but me. I have seen at least one other Twidash fic where Rainbow Dash gives up the Wonderbolts for Twilight and I can't help but think "why?". Why can she not both achieve her dreams AND be involved in a meaningful relationship? I mean, plenty of famous athletes do so in real life. It just seems really sad and bittersweet when it is supposed to come off as romantic. It just seems a bit depressing to me. A happier ending would be where Rainbow Dash would have suggested to Twilight that she'd be willing to give up the Wonderbolts for her, and Twilight gets upset and refuses to allow her to just throw away her dreams and vows to support her in helping to achieve them. Then she does just that: Twilight helps Rainbow Dash achieve her dreams while the two still remain in a meaningful and loving relationship.

If Rainbow Dash had become a Wonderbolt and then retired to have a relationship with Twilight or had become a Wonderbolt AND was in a relationship with Twilight, that would be a Good End. Having her give up everything she ever worked for, regardless of what she gained... I can't help but see that as a bittersweet ending at best.

Very cute. Thank you for the gift of fluff. Nommed it down like cotton candy.

3029362 I'm glad you enjoyed it!

She smiled and walked past me, rubbing her side againsine.

:derpyderp2:

Aside from that, a fluffy little oneshot! Good job!:twilightsmile:

You my freind, are way to good at this.

3030677 I'm glad you enjoyed it!

wonderful bit of cute stuff there is just something about TwiDash that i cant resist :rainbowkiss::twilightblush:

She smiled and walked past me, rubbing her side againsine.

I think you accidently a few letters, as they say on the intertubes. Other than that easily-fixed error, I liked it a lot. :twilightsmile:

3029529>>3030880 Thank you for spotting that.

Well! As far as fluff-technique goes, you certainly have my respect and admiration. Your first-person Rainbow is easy to read and immersively descriptive. When she crept into Twilight's bed... ahem. :twilightblush: We'll move on. The subplot with Lyra hits straight to the heart and is quite relatable. Lyra herself is also cute and hilarious.

So yeah, 95% of this story is pretty great! Unfortunately there is indeed the rather large elephant in the room. I'm going to try to explain myself so it doesn't just look like I'm being kneejerk about canon stuff, because while I do prefer show-faithful fanfic, I'm also really easy to sell a premise to.

The second I read Dash's line,

"I knew I loved Twilight the day I gave up being a Wonderbolt."

I instantly thought to myself, "Wow, talk about megaton! That's a really great and powerful angle that I never would have thought of! I mean, being a Wonderbolt is RD's lifelong dream which we've seen her gradually work towards for during all three seasons of the show! This is going to be one intense, character-building romance fic if it's going to show how a love can be so deep as to overcome that sort of inner drive!"

That was what I thought, as a reader. This is a great thing to have readers think, mind you -- it's how you can build character conflict and change even in a slice of life story. It's how fluff becomes deceptively fulfilling fluff. :pinkiehappy:

Unfortunately, this is where the story ends. We go from canon dreams to fanon memory, with no bridge in between, and quite honestly I sympathize with anyone who might feel a bit cheated by the end. I know I sure did. Anvil on my heart. :raritydespair:

I don't even need a "compromise" ending. I would have been totally on board with Rainbow's dreams changing. Happens to folks all the time. But for something that deep-seated and at the core of her character, I really wanted -- nay, needed -- to know how we get from one to the other, you know?

I don't know if this fic comes after another story you wrote and things were explained there, but on the off chance it does, you may wish to reference it, especially for readers new to your work such as myself. :twilightsheepish: That said, the ending stops me from my initial favoriting intentions, but an upvote's certainly in order, I think, for the rest of things. Also, I like your style -- I think I'll look around the rest of your works, if you don't mind? :twilightsmile:

3032140 Thank you very much for this comment, it made my day. Looking back at this, I think you're right it needs that little bit more.

3032506
No worries, glad I could help! And yes, I certainly think there's another story in here just begging to be told.

...one that may well have Twilight staring down Spitfire.

:scootangel:

the ending though... <3

3034750>>3034216 Thank you very much!

3032593 I may have to consider that...

D'awww that ending was so adorable. Great work I loved the story keep it up :D

3046981 Thanks for the comment!

So many feels! but twidash is one of my favorite ships, mostly because it reminds me of me and my mare...ur girlfriend.
Me=:rainbowwild:
she=:twilightsmile:

I just have to point out that Rainbow Dash just broke a Pinkie Promise. Lyra made her Pinkie Promise that she wouldn't tell anyone about that.

But seriously, I like how Lyra was written in this. She wasn't the cliche of being obsessed with humans. She's hyperactive, but in a nervous way. She's nervous, confused, and just doesn't know what she feels. And it's perfect for the role she plays in this story.

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