• Published 28th Aug 2013
  • 1,245 Views, 106 Comments

Planes, Plans and Pony Music - River Road



A story about singing ponies, Discord's curse, and what a unicorn can learn from anime. Five Score, Divided by Four side fic.

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Ponies 101

“Barrel Roll?” I whisper.

The pegasus mare keeps staring at me with wide eyes, completely speechless. Finally she speaks up, hesitantly. “W-who are you? What are you?”

I blink once. “I’m a unicorn… I thought that was obvious from the-“ The mare flinches as I speak up again and I’m hit by the realization I should have had a lot earlier: I’m a brony, but that doesn’t mean everypony else who was transformed is one. “You… Do you even know what happened?”

“I have no idea!” The mare collapses on the ground, breaking into tears. “I… I’m not actually a horse, or whatever we’re supposed to be. I used to be a human! Y-you have to believe me!” She almost jumps at me, but still seems to be a bit afraid of me.

I take a step towards the mare, doing my best not to frighten her. “Hey… Hey! No crying…” I lie down in front of her and looks her straight in the eyes. “Listen; I was a human, too, a few days ago. Now I’m a pony. That doesn’t mean the end of the world. I still have my friends, my family and my home. You’re still the same person, aren’t you?”

The mare sniffles and looks up at me, wiping her nose with a foreleg. “How can you say something like that… Look at me, I’m some kind of strange horse! Nopony’s even going to believe me that I’m a human. How am I supposed to live like this?!”

I flinch a little at that. It is understandable, but I still find it hard to believe that somepony would really feel so strong about these changes. I inch a little closer to her and put a hoof on her shoulder. “I know you’re scared and that you might not know what is happening, but that’s no reason to go and say something like that. Your live isn’t over and some people would give a lot for what you have.”

I stand up again and gesture for her to follow me. “I know some people who can probably get you a new ID to help convince people of who you really are. I’m not saying that it’s going to solve all your problems, but it’s better than just sitting here and moping around.”

“Wait!” the mare shouts as I turn around to walk ahead. I stop and give her a questioning look. “It’s just… what was that name you were calling me earlier?”

“Huh? Oh, that. It was just something I remembered… I think. That pony you turned into… I think her name is Barrel Roll.”

“Barrel Roll…” The mare looks down in thought. “That name feels… familiar. But why?” She shrugs and stands up. “You’re right, though. If you can really help me, I’m right behind you.”



I watch my parents and Barrel Roll observe each other with cautious interest. I had invited Barrel to lunch, and my parents had made a vegetarian lasagna to accommodate our new eating habits. The poor mare had immediately dug in like she hadn’t eaten in days. She had also quickly given up on using a fork and is now trying to eat directly from the plate without making too much of a mess. To show my solidarity I’m not using my magic, either… That, and because it’s fun.

“So… There’s more of your kind, apparently,” my mother speaks up. “Do you have any idea how many people might be going through this?”

“Not a clue…" I reply. "If there is more than just one, though, chances are there are a lot more than two, too. I’ve been having some weird dreams and if they’re any indication there’s going to be at least a few hundred ponies running around.”

“Weird dreams?” Barrel Roll looks up from her plate, her lime green muzzle covered in spinach. “I’ve been having one of those, too! Something about a big city of ponies and some creepy patchwork monster. I thought they were just nightmares that came from turning into a pony!”

“That was Canterlot, and Discord…” I look at the others with a serious expression. “I didn’t really have a way to confirm that before, but I think that we’re talking about more than just dreams. This might have actually happened over in Equestria.”

“And what do you plan on doing, if that is the case?” my father asks.

I ponder the question for a moment. “Well, if anypony can really stand against Discord, it would be the Princesses or the Elements of Harmony. I don’t think there’s a lot two normal ponies like us can do, but we can still try to help.” I do my best to wipe the green stuff from my muzzle with a napkin and stand up from the table. “I talked to Dr. Kramer and he’ll try to get you a new ID, so all that’s left for us to do now is training! Follow me, Barrel Roll!”

“I’d really prefer if you called me by my real name…” Barrel Roll huffs, following behind me.

I stick my tongue out at her. “Too bad, then, because I like that name.”



“So, what exactly did you mean when you said ‘training’?” Barrel asks as I lead her back to the field where I found her.

“Flying, for example,” I reply nonchalantly. “Have you learned how to fly yet?”

She stops and gives me a skeptical look. “You’re joking, right?”

I turn around and point at my noggin. “This is my serious face. If I was joking it would be my pokerface, which isn’t much of a pokerface at all… What I’m trying to say is that I don’t have a good pokerface and that I’m not joking.” Barrel Roll probably thinks I’ve gone crazy, but the truth is that I’ve been crazy all along, for a long time.

“You can’t be serious! I’m a horse! Pony… whatever. Sure, I got wings,” – her wings twitch a little in response as she turns her head to look at them – “but that doesn’t mean that I can fly! It’s just physically impossi– What are you doing?”

A light blue aura surrounds Barrel Roll and lifts her a few inches off the ground. She squeaks a little as I levitate her closer to me, smiling at her.

“The magical talking unicorn says you can fly. Don’t question the magical talking unicorn.”

Barrel just stares at me with wide eyes. “B-but that’s…”

“Basic unicorn magic.” I set her back down as carefully as possible and am relieved to notice that her first reaction isn’t trying to back away from me. “You’ve turned into a cartoon pony, with wings. You have to stop being so surprised by everything.”

Barrel shakes her head. “Okay, you might have a point there.” She gives me a defeated look. “So, flying… How am I supposed to do that? I haven’t even figured out how to move these wings at all.”

“Don’t worry, I have a plan.” I put a foreleg around her shoulders and start guiding her up a hill.

“That sounds like I should worry even more, actually.” Barrel looks at me questioningly, but trots along.

I lead her to the top of the hill and put a little distance between us. “I figured we could try it the same way I learned to use my magic. If that doesn’t work we’ll have to think of something else.”

“And how did you learn that…?” Barrel looks down at her hooves just in time to see the glowing blue panel beneath her hooves. She’s standing on the lower end of it, right at the edge, while the rest of the panel leads upwards in front of her.

“Without warning.” I concentrate on my magic and mentally slam down on the other end of the ramp, causing it to swing around quickly. With a scream Barrel Roll is catapulted several feet into the air, tumbling head over hooves. However, her fall is stopped when she instinctively spreads her wings and gives a few strong flaps to steady herself.

She breathes heavily, keeping herself in the air with slow wingbeats. After a moment she has calmed down enough to stare down at me with wide eyes. “Are you crazy?! W-what was that for?”

“I-I’m sorry, but I had to take you by surprise, or it might not have worked. I was prepared to catch you before you’d hit the ground.” I feel kinda bad about it now… I can see tears in her eyes and she looks like she’s about to start crying. I’m confident that this was the easiest solution, though, and I hope that being able to fly will make up for it.

The pegasus sighs and looks around herself. “Well, it worked alright. I’m flying.” She pauses and I can see the realization grow in her expression. “I’m flying… Ohmygosh, I’m actually flying! I- Whoa…” She flaps her wings harder and almost loses her balance, but manages to rise higher into the air, laughing. “Look at me, I’m… Ahahahah, Woohoooo!”

I watch and grin as she flies in circles over my head, then dashes straight ahead for a while before dashing all the way back. Barrel Roll is laughing all the while and probably having the time of her life. Turning to my saddlebags, I pull my phone out and scroll through my music list until I find the song I’m looking for. No idea if she can even hear the music up in the air, but it just seems to fit.

I levitate the phone over to a nearby fencepost and turn around to focus on my own training. There’s another spell I’m itching to learn, and I’m going to try until I’ve figured it out or run out of magic.

“Look at this, I can literally stand on clouds!!!”



“Do we really have to do this?” Barrel Roll is sitting on my bed, watching me as I try to connect my laptop with my TV. The wireless revolution did not make this any easier.

After completely exhausting ourselves outside and eating some meat-less dinner, I suggested to watch a selection of MLP episodes. I managed to convince her that it would help her to better understand a lot of things about ponies, but that doesn’t mean that she liked the idea of watching a show for little girls.

“If you want to know what is going on, this is as much information as any of us can hope to get.” I turn to the screen as it finally shows the same image as my laptop. “Now just sit back and try to enjoy the show.”

“I get that I might have to watch that show, but do we really have to watch it in English, too?” Barrel groans.

I raise an eyebrow. “You are aware that you’ve been talking English for most of the day, right?”

“…What?”

“We’re having this conversation in English right now,” I continue. “It happens whenever we are alone… It took me a while to notice and I think it has something to do with that transformation, but–“

“Oh god, you’re right.” Barrel is staring down at her hooves. “I thought this was just a physical transformation, but… but what if it has been messing with our minds, too? Am I even the same person anymore? I…”

I put a hoof on her shoulder and shake her. “Stop that! You’re talking in a different language, that’s no reason to freak out like that. At least it’s a language we actually know.” I sigh. “Sorry, but… There’s nothing we can do about it, anyway. All we can do right now is sit down and wait for some sort of sign to tell us what is going on. And for now the only thing we have in that regard are these episodes.”

Barrel lets out a defeated sigh. “You’re right… Just start that video and let’s get it over with.”

I click play and the first episode starts. I already made a list of which episodes she needs to see the most. We’re starting with the Nightmare Moon ones, obviously, then move on to “Return of Harmony”, “A Canterlot Wedding”, “Magical Mystery Cure” and “Princess Twilight Sparkle” before finally watching the last episode of Season 5…

“Is that the opening song? Oh Celestia…”



“River?”

“Mm-hm…”

“Are you still awake?”

I turn around to face Barrel Roll – not that I could actually see her in the dark. After the last episode from my list had ended it had been fairly late, so I pulled out my spare mattress and let Barrel Roll sleep in my bed.

…Or not sleep, apparently. “I am now… You can’t sleep?”

I hear some rustling as somepony moves around under their blankets. “I keep thinking about that last episode. It’s hard to believe that we are turning into ponies because some strange patchwork monster cursed a couple of fictional characters in a cartoon.”

I stare at the part of the dark that hides the ceiling. “I know. And I always kinda liked Discord, too… After the Season 4 opener I really thought he had been reformed. So much about that, I guess.”

For a moment everything is quiet and I wonder if that mare woke me up just to fall asleep on me a moment later. After a minute, though, I can hear something that sounds like quiet sobbing.

“It’s just… What if we can never turn back? What if we have to stay like this for the rest of our lives? Or if we completely turn into these ponies, physically and mentally? I… I just…”

I squirm out of my blankets and stand up, with my forelegs the edge of her bed. “Hey. Hey, don’t say things like that. We’re still ourselves and we’re going to find a solution to this before that happens.” I stare into the dark, trying to see if my words had any effect. From the sounds of suppressed crying it doesn’t seem like it.

I lean back a little and try to think of something else to say. Everything I can come up with sounds hollow if I don’t know more than anypony else about this.

I close my eyes and hum a few notes as an old song comes to my mind. Music might not actually solve problems, but it always helps.

My ears twitch a little as my voice seems to split into more than just one tune, but I don’t stop.

Hey, look ahead
All fear and dread
I want to take off you
Hey, don’t be scared
I will be there
To help you along
To help you stay strong
I will guide you

I’ll be there, anywhere
Anywhen, I’m here
I’ll be there
You’ve got nothing to fear
I’ll be there, just say the word
There’s no need to be scared
Don’t be afraid
Of the next day

Go to sleep
I will keep
You safe and warm
Go to sleep
There’s no need
For alarm
Go to sleep, I’ll stay with you
And whatever we’ll do
Never be afraid
Of the next day

‘Cause I’ll be there, anywhere
Anywhen, I’m here
I’ll be there
You’ve got nothing to fear
I’ll be there, just say the word
There’s no need to be scared
Don’t be afraid
Of the next day


Don’t be afraid
Of the next day

I let the last few notes fade out and listen. The only thing I can hear is a slow and steady breathing. I carefully lower myself to the ground and crawl back under my own blankets.



The mare was watching the marketplace from the roof of a nearby building, trying her best to stay hidden. She was in way over her head with this. That unicorn had taken the lead and told them the plan, but she had no idea what she was actually supposed to do… There was no way she could make any difference against that monster. Despite her rank and her training she felt completely useless in this situation.

She sighed. Just like always…

With a flash He appeared in the middle of the marketplace. He was wearing a deep red, hooded cloak and openly looking at the ponies hidden all around the marketplace. “Oh my, what an unsuspiciously empty street… I don’t think anypony is here anymore.”

“Get him!” The mare watched as a few first ponies jumped from their hiding places and charged at the draconequus; she knew that they would be the first to vanish from his spell.

Discord jumped over the first pony, a mint green unicorn mare, and looked after her. “But Celestia, wherever are your big white wings?” He droped back on the ground just in time to avoid the attack of a pegasus. “And Celestia, where is your white horn?” Taking off his cloak he sidesteped a charging earth pony mare, pulling the cloak over her head in one fluid movement. “Olé!” The beige earth pony stopped to wriggle her head free from the fabric. Discord floated over to her to examine the earth pony’s face, his snout just an inch away from hers. “You’re not Celestia…”

The mare watched, trembling, as the cloak suddenly seemed to move on its own to tie the earth pony’s legs together. She watched Discord lift a glowing claw and bring it down on the earth pony’s hea–

No!” By the time she had realized that she had jumped off the roof she was already halfway across the plaza, and the next second she found herself slamming into Discord’s side, sending them tumbling over the ground, away from his victim. The next thing she knew was that the monster had her pinned down on the stones, grinning at her from above. He seemed to have grown twice as tall as before and behind him she could only see darkness, illuminated by lightning strikes.

“So you want to be the first instead? Very well…” The mare could only stare in terror as Discord raised a glowing claw and began to slowly lower it towards her head. “Five Score, Divided by Four…”

Something shifted in the air and a blue wall suddenly burst out of the ground in front of her, blocking her view from Discord. Looking to her sides, she could see the same walls all around her, cutting her off from everything else. She turned around to find another wall behind her, as well as one above her. There didn’t seem to be an exit to the room she was in.

...But it also meant there was no entrance for that monster.

A light breeze ruffled her feathers from behind, moving along her wings, mane and tail and through the soft grass around her hooves. The mare looked down at the green grass swaying slowly in the breeze, then ahead at the endless fields in front of her.

She looked around in confusion, unable to find any remnants of… whatever it was that had been there. She couldn’t quite remember what it had been.

The mare closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again. She was standing at the edge of a cliff now, the waves of the ocean crashing against the rocks. She took a small step forward, looking down at the sharp rocks poking out of the sea.

The mare jumped.

The wind caught in her wings as she weaved between the rocks, almost guiding her through narrow passes and around sharp turns. What was it she had been thinking about?

It probably didn’t really matter.



I watch the sleeping pegasus mare for a moment before I cancel my spell completely and quietly retreat to my bed. I’m not sure if my magic actually did what I thought it would do, or if it did anything at all, but whatever nightmare Barrel was having seems to be over.

I pull the blanket over my head and close my eyes. I talked to my parents, met another pony, learned a new spell and maybe even found out something new about my magic. All in all, I’d say that today was a good day.

And I’m sure that tomorrow will be even better.

Author's Note:

This chapter was written in two days' time after I found out that today would be the birthday of this guy. and since he is a fan of this story, this is my birthday present to him.
He makes some good music that you could check out over at his YouTube channel. He is also writing on a Hearth's Warming story, his first fanfiction, and from what I've seen of his writing you should definitely look out for that one.

So Happy Birthday, Flux.