What have I done?

by St Jimmy

Fear

Twilight flinched as the train shuddered with several metallic clicks and clacks. She hated trains, and this flawlessly illustrated the primary reason. She loved to think, plan and organize. She could do none of these aboard a train. Still, they were the most efficient method of travel in Equestria, so she rarely had a choice. She would use her special long-range teleportation spell, but her physical weaknesses made this risky, if not impossible.

Regardless, it set her on edge. She would attempt to sleep, but she would need to clear her thoughts for that. This becomes increasingly difficult when, at random intervals, the train lurches, causing her to begin doubting the experience of the train’s driver more and more.

As always, Twilight was forced to gaze out the window. And, as per the usual, this did not go unnoticed by Rainbow Dash. All of the time that the two ponies had spent together had synchronized their thought processes to the point where they could practically read each other’s minds.

Dash focused on Twilight. While the mare was not in her true, elegant form to the rest of the world, both Dash and Twilight had “the sight”. A rare ability which allowed them to see a pony’s soul, ignoring any and all visual camouflage in the process. Thusly, Rainbow Dash was able to see every beautiful inch of Twilight’s actual form. Her lavender fur, her soft purple eyes, and long, flowing, indigo mane. The wind flew into the train through Twilight’s window, ruffling her fur and mane as it passed over, but she was unfazed

In all honesty, she looked like some sort of goddess.

Even so, Dash couldn’t help but notice that Twilight seemed mentally detached. Like her thoughts were elsewhere, far over the rolling hills that the train passed. Somehow, despite the setting, Twilight was able to cancel out the noise, and lose herself in her thoughts, and this made Dash a little uneasy.

“Hey, Twi’?” Asked Dash through their mental link. She would have spoken normally, but she knew better than to try to speak over the noise of Twilight’s own thoughts. “Are you alright?” She asked compassionately.

Twilight gave her a half-hearted response. “Hm? Oh, yeah,”

“Really? Cause you seem a little-,”

“I said I’m FINE Dash!” Twilight snapped. Dash jumped. Twilight had never snapped at her like that, and honestly, it made her afraid. Not just for herself, but for Twilight.

“Twi’…,” Dash treaded lightly.

“Sorry, I just…,” Twilight sighed, audibly. “It’s just all too much,”

“What is?”

Twilight sighed again. “I-I’m afraid I’ll screw up again,” she turned to Dash, tears gathering in her eyes. “I already lost you once, and if I lose you this time, you can’t come back again. Not only that, even if you could, I don’t think I would make it more than a few days if I had to go through that whole process again,”

Dash was both touched and saddened by this. It helped to remind Dash of what Twilight had suffered through. What Dash had put her through.

While Twilight had repeatedly professed that she did not blame Dash for what happened, Dash knew that deep down, she actually did. And whenever one of them had brought it up, both ponies had retracted towards their own thoughts within minutes.

“A-Anyway, I think we should visit Rarity before we go. I bet that she and Scootaloo would love to see you again,”

“Yeah, that little squirt probably couldn’t stand not seeing my awesomeness for much longer,” Dash mused.

“We probably shouldn’t get their hopes up though, so try to not mention the stone,”

“Oh, Okay,”

Twilight smiled. “Don’t worry, soon enough everything will be back to normal,”

“Yeah…yeah!” Dash Smiled back. “Soon enough,”

“I’m gonna try and get some rest. Let me know when we’re in Appleloosa,”

“No problem Twi’,”

Twilight smiled again in response, sliding back and placing her hooves on the armrest, then placing her head atop her hooves, and curling the rest of her body inwards. Dash loved it when she did that, it was so cute.

After a moment, Dash sat back and relaxed.

Soon enough.
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Twilight blinked repeatedly, her vision slowly clearing. She was still aboard the train, and Dash was still sitting next to her. Still, something seemed off.

Rainbow looked angry. Like, really angry. As if she was ready to lash out at the first thing she saw, and that just so happened to be Twilight.

“Finally awake? Too bad,” She said.

“Wha-what do you mean?”

“If you were asleep, the guards would confiscate that locket before you could hide it. Then, I wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore,”

“Wha? Guards? What guards?”

“It doesn’t matter, after all, you don’t want me around anymore,”

“What? I never said-,”

“Don’t you remember? You regret bringing me back. After everything we’ve been through, you wish I wasn’t here,”

Twilight was beginning to cry. “No…Rainbow, that’s not what I-,”

“I don’t care!” The pegasus’s eyes flashed red. “I don’t care what you have in your back pocket to cover for you. I’m tired of the ‘I didn’t mean that’ and ‘That’s not what I said’, I’m done! I didn’t ask for any of this you know! You just pulled me back here and told me to follow you. And just lie always, I didn’t think about why I should, I just did. Well not anymore! I’m done being your cheerleader! I’m tired of being on the sidelines cheering you on while you save the day! Honestly, I wish you hadn’t brought me back at all!”

Twilight was crying rivers now, her eyes reddening as the saltwater irritated the skin. “Rainbow *sniff*…please don’t *sniff* please don’t say thing like *sniff* that,”

“Or what? Or I’ll hurt your feelings? Whoopty fuckin do. What about mine? What am I anymore? Nothing! Nothing next to the awe inspiring Twilight Sparkle. Who could stand next to her? Well, since I don’t matter, I’ll just leave you to marvel at yourself.” Without another word, the enraged form of Rainbow Dash compressed into a blue ball of pure energy, and flew into the locket around Twilight’s neck.

“R-Rainbow?” Twilight gazed down at the locket. No answer. “Rainbow?” Still nothing. “Rainbow! *sniff* please s-say *sniff* something!” Twilight broke down, tears flowing freely form her eyes, as stuttered moans of sorrow prevented her from speaking, and echoed throughout the car. But nopony seemed to notice or care. Instead, Twilight was alone again.

All alone.
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“Twilight!” Screamed Dash, jolting the unicorn awake, tears soaking her disguised black fur.

“R-Rainbow?” Her face reflected clear signs of both sadness and fear.

“You were sleeping, then you starting muttering my name. Then you started crying,” Dash looked concerned. “Are you alright?”

“Uh…yeah! Yeah, I’m fine,” She turned back toward the window. “I’m fine…,”

“Well…okay then,” Dash replied. “We’re still a ways from Appleloosa, so you can go back to-,”

“No!” Twilight caught herself. “I mean, I’d rather just talk,”

“Oh? About what?”

“How about what to do when this whole thing blows over? I hear there is a certain library that will be completely unoccupied,”

Dash smiled. “I like the sound of that,”

Author's Note:

Alright, I've gone back to my old process of writing the stories by hand, then typing them up and posting them through GDocs. I feel like this gives the story a more natural feel. Again, I'm sorry about the delay, I've had a lot more work with my new job and new classes than I had expected. Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments below!

Comments

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

short chapter

[Daring Cammie Do]

Spacing needs to be fixed and you may want an editor. I would, but I'm currently helping ModMCdl write, I'm writing my own story, and I'm editing for Mod as well.