• Published 8th Aug 2013
  • 3,909 Views, 74 Comments

Crêpes - Titanium Dragon

A discussion over whether crêpes count as real food results in Rarity and Applejack making a bet, with the loser having to spend a day helping the winner with their job. Do the pair have ulterior motives in wanting to spend more time together?

  • ...


"Ain't this place a bit fancy for breakfast?" Applejack said, tilting her head back to look up at the impressive but out of place facade of the Prench restaurant in the heart of Canterlot.

"Not at all, darling," Rarity replied, the prim white pony smiling at her friend. "Fancy Pants himself told me this was a wonderful place to eat breakfast. It is usually too crowded by other ponies for lunch and dinner, but in the morning only a few ponies show up, so it gives you plenty of space and lets you soak in the class and ambiance."

"I've been here for breakfast before with the princess," Twilight chimed in, the skeptical cowpony turning her head back towards the rest of her friends as the alicorn princess added her opinion to the mix. "It was always very nice, even if the staff only speaks Prench."

"They don't understand Equestrian?"

"Oh no, they understand it perfectly, they just refuse to speak it in front of their customers. You can tell from the way they sneer at you if you try to address them in it."

"Oh hush now darling, they are perfectly hospitable as long as you order in Prench."

"That's not how I remember it..." grumbled Twilight, but her complaint was drowned out by a much louder pair of protests from Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

"But I don't speak Prench!"

"That's fine dear, I will be ordering for everyone. Now, shall we?"

With some grumbling from Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the six friends entered the restaurant, where they were greeted by a smartly dressed stallion, his black uniform contrasting sharply with his brilliantly white coat. After a few quiet words from Rarity, he bobbed his head and pulled six menus out from behind his podium and, holding them tightly beside him with his magic, walked down the aisle between the tables, all of them set immaculately, snow white tablecloths settled over the tables, napkins folded perfectly atop pearl white plates. The waiter led them past numerous empty tables before arriving at the rear of the restaurant, bobbing his head towards a table near the window with a view overlooking one of the many waterfall-fed parks of the city.

“Votre table, mesdames,” the waiter said. He waited there expectantly for several moments as the ponies settled into place before asking, “Que désirez-vous boire?”

"Un crème pour moi, monsieur," the yellow pegasus on the far side of the table said demurely in perfect Prench, making Rarity smile proudly while Twilight, standing beside her, shifted awkwardly.

"Uhm... une noisette pour moi, s’il vous plaît," the purple pony said slightly hesitantly, though her words only earned another smile from her pale-furred companion, who spoke up next.

"Une noisette pour moi aussi. Je crois que mon amie rose veut un café au lait, et un café pour les autres."

"Merci madame," the waiter said as he began to float the menus out to the ponies seated around the table, before Rarity shook her head once.

"Ce n'est pas nécessaire, monsieur. Nous voudrions des crêpes sucrées, avec des fruits, confiture, sucre, et crème fouettée."

"Bien, madame," the waiter said, before retrieving the menus and leaving the ponies in peace with another bob of his head.

"Wow," Twilight said a moment after he left, "you know you're getting used to something when you notice it is missing. He didn't even say anything about me being a princess."

Fluttershy smiled weakly at her friend. "I think it is because the Prench don't have a king anymore."

Twilight smiled wanly at that, making Applejack incline her head slightly, though it was Pinkie Pie who asked the question. "What happened to him?"

"Ah, well," Twilight said awkwardly, raising her hooves and tapping them together, "The Prench have a verb. Guillotiner."

"What does that mean?" the pink pony inquired curiously, before Rarity cleared her throat.

"That is hardly a suitable conversation to have at the breakfast table," the unicorn interjected, making Fluttershy relax, the pegasus having frozen at Pinkie Pie's question.

"Ah agree," Applejack said, waving her hoof slightly over the table, before Rainbow Dash chimed in.

"Yeah! The real conversation should be, what are we having for breakfast? What did you order?"

"Oh, just drinks and our main course. Crêpes sucrées!"

"And that is...?"

"Sweet crêpes."

"I think what Rainbow was askin' was what those are."

"Oh! Well, they're like pancakes, only very thin and sweet, and instead of putting toppings on them, they're wrapped up around them. They're very good, I'm certain you will all like them."

"All that to order pancakes?"

"It wasn't just crêpes, Applejack," Twilight cut in, "It was also drinks. Well, coffee. They'll bring some croissants and biscuits as well, it is traditional for breakfast."

"Coffee? That don't seem too fancy."

Rarity smiled indulgently at her earth pony friend. "The Prench need to wake up in the morning the same as anypony."

"Lemme guess, they gussy up their coffee the same way they gussy up everything else?"

Rarity's smile grew sly at that. "You'll see."

Indeed, it was not long before the waiter returned with a pair of platters hovering over his back, one holding six mugs, the other a dozen small baked goods. The biscuits and croissants were expertly lowered onto the plates around the table, each positioned exactly the same before the friends, before the mugs left their platter as well and found their places around the table, spoons positioned on the small plates each of the mugs was standing on, with a sugarcube in the base of the spoon and a couple more positioned expertly around the back of the mug.

“Désirez-vous autre chose?”

"Does anyone else need anything?"

The other five ponies around the table shook their heads, making Rarity turn back to face their waiter. "Non, merci."

The waiter politely nodded his head before turning away, the white unicorn turning her head to look at her friends. Twilight had already picked up her small, foam-covered mug and sipped at it, while Fluttershy was expertly dunking her sugar cube into the top of her own coffee, the small white cube slowly turning brown as it absorbed the coffee. Across the table, she could see Rainbow Dash and Applejack skeptically regarding their own small mugs of coffee.

"It looks like coffee, but it seems awful small," the farmer pony said, making Rarity smile anew, while Pinkie piped up from the other side of the table.

"Why did I get so much more than they did?"

"The Prench don't make their coffee the same way we do," Twilight said, her own cup set down on the table. Looking over at Fluttershy, she smiled at the pony. "Have you been to Prance? That is exactly how they take their sugar cubes."

The yellow pegasus did not respond for a few moments, before delicately eating her now-brown sugar cube and smiling at Twilight. "Oh no, I just learned about it from reading magazines. It seems nice, though."

Pinkie, for her part, had already taken all three of her sugar cubes and dumped them into her coffee, and looked around the table for more. "You can have mine," Rainbow Dash offered, and moments later, three more cubes found their way into Pinkie's mug.

"Try it," Rarity urged Applejack, who had continued to eye the small mug of black liquid dubiously. The farmer shrugged, then leaned down to take a sip, her eyes widening moments later as she pulled her head back.

"That's some strong coffee," she said, making Rarity laugh quietly.

"The Prench like their coffee straight and strong. There's more coffee in that little cup than there is in most mugs of Equestrian brew."

The farmer smiled. "Well, they may fancy a lot of things up, but this is mighty fine coffee."

The next few minutes were consumed by small talk and sips of coffee, as well as quiet appreciative noises at the taste and texture of the flaky croissants. By the time mugs and plates were empty, the unicorn waiter had returned with another tray. Bowing his head again, he then expertly slid the plates off of the platter onto the table, trading the dirtied plates for ones full of sugar-drizzled pastries, before bobbing his head and excusing himself.

"These ain't quite what I was expectin'," Applejack said as she bent down to take a bite of one of hers, mouth filling with the taste of whipped cream and blackberry jam.

"So what's in these anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked as she dug into her own plate.

Rarity smiled, one of the oblong food objects hovering in front of her snout as she spoke. "I asked for a variety of things for each of us."

"Seems to be mostly toppin's," Applejack observed as she ate her crepes straight off her plate, the gesture obviously slightly awkward for the farm mare, used to eating foods which were better designed for earth ponies to eat, the first one she had picked up resulting in a bit of a mess over on one side of her plate.

"They're good!" Pinkie said, the pony already having devoured over half of hers with considerable gusto.

"I agree."

"Yeah, they're alright I guess. Not very filling though."

"I have to agree with Rainbow Dash," the farmpony said. "They're tasty, but its just like eating toppings straight up, with how thin the crepes are."

"Crêpes," Rarity corrected, "and there should be one or two which are filled with fruit."

"Ah found one of those," Applejack replied, "But it is mostly just fruit, the crepe is so thin."


"Whatever. The point is, it ain't real food. It's an excuse to eat whipped cream and jam for breakfast."

"What is the difference between that and toast?" Twilight asked, inclining her head towards her friend.

"The difference is with toast, at least there's something solid there to bite into. Toast has a little topping and a lot of bread; this is the other way around."

"But that is what makes crêpes so wonderful!" Rarity interjected. "With most foods, the toppings are just a little something extra to enhance the food, but with crêpes, they are whatever you want them to be! Crêpes salées can be filled with cheese, eggs, artichoke, mushrooms... even some things griffins eat. Crêpes are all about what you put inside of them and on top of them, they can be anything you want!"

"But that's just it, Rarity. They ain't anything themselves. When I eat a food, I want it to have somethin' to it. It's not that they aren't good; they are. They just aren't real food. It's basically like stickin' your head in a jar of jam after puttin' some whipped cream and sugar on top and callin' it breakfast."

"Not all of them are filled with preserves and whipped cream you know."

"Some of mine are filled with pears!" Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically, the tip of her snout white with powdered sugar as she devoured the last crepe on her plate, Rarity grimacing slightly at the sight.

"That's the same thing. It ain't about the crepe, it's the fruit inside. Even with caramel apples, you've got the apple and the caramel, and neither are quite the same without the other. Apple pie, you've got a lot in the pie besides apples. These you're just wrapping up the fruit or what have you and callin' it somethin' else to sound fancy."

"Many things are about the presentation. Look at the dresses I made for you girls for the gala; if you showed up wearing Pinkie Pie's dress, you'd look silly. But Pinkie looks wonderful in it."

"But that's not the same. The dresses are like the toppings, but with these crepes, they are all topping. It would be like if Sweetie Belle tried to wear one of your dresses; you couldn't even find her in there. I don't even know what a crepe tastes like, with all the stuff with it. It's not that it's bad, it's that it ain't honest to call it crepes. I can't even say I like crepe, because I'm hardly havin' any."

"That is like eating the crust of an apple pie and complaining that it doesn't taste like apples."

"Maybe if we called apple pie 'crust' that would be a fair complaint, but it ain't called that."

"If you don't like it, I'll have yours!" Pinkie Pie put in, but Applejack just shook her head.

"T'ain't the point. It's not that I don't like it. It's just that it ain't honest callin it crepes when it is a bunch of other things which all just use a bit of dough. It would be like sayin' apple pie and lemon meringue are the same thing because they both have crust."

"But they are both pies, darling. Just like how my dresses are all dresses, but each one is unique."

Applejack sighed. "I guess you're right. It just seems kind of weird, havin' something that is all whipped cream and jam without anything to go with it. Not bad, just weird. Like I'm cheatin' on eatin' or somethin'. It's not honest food, like the coffee was. That was called coffee, and it was coffee. Seems superficial to call crepes crepes, when they're really fruit crepes, or whipped cream and jam crepes, or whatever. Kind of like how a lot of ponies look at you, Rarity."

"What do you mean by that?" the white unicorn said, her eyes widening. "Are you saying I'm superficial?"

"No, I'm sayin' folks see you as superficial. They see the makeup and the fake eyelashes and the fancy talk and think that's all there is to ya, when that's just the toppin's, and not what makes us like you."

Rarity frowned slightly at that. "It isn't my fault. I just like to look pretty. You can't make people think."

"No, but it kinda is your fault cause of the way you act, Rares. You pretend like you can't stand mud, or that a hair bein' out of place is a big deal, or that if you're less than perfect you're hideous. But I've seen more to ya than that. It'd just be nice to see it a bit more often, that's all I'm sayin'."

"Uh, weren't we just arguing about breakfast?" Twilight said, only to be ignored by the pair of ponies facing each other across the table.

"And what is that supposed to mean? That I should hide my beauty like you do so ponies don't notice me?"

"I ain't hidin' nothin'."

"Oh really? Then why do you always keep your mane and tail tied back the same way, even when we're in Canterlot and you don't need to keep it back for your farmwork?"

"It don't get in the way this way."

"Really? Because none of the rest of us tie our hair back, and somehow we manage. I think you're just worried that if other ponies think you're pretty, they'll forget you're a farmer."

"That's not it and you know it Rares. Why are you bein' this way anyway?"

"Well you were the one who brought it up."

"I was sayin' that you look pretty even when you're not all gussied up, and you look more like a real pony when you're like that. I like that. Fact, I'd say you look better when you're not tryin' to pretend to be somethin' you're not."

"I'm not!"

"But you are, Rarity! You're more of a noble pony than anyone out in Canterlot when you're covered in mud. You ACT like mud is the worst thing in the world, but you aren't afraid of getting dirty. When the changelings attacked the city, they all ran away while YOU helped us get to the elements."

"We lost that fight, darling."

"But we tried. More than any of the nobleponies I saw."

Rarity hmphed and turned her head, though a smile was showing on her lips. "Still, that doesn't change the fact that I looked fabulous while I was doing it."

Applejack laughed at that as the other ponies around the table visibly relaxed, the argument apparently over. "That you did. Almost as pretty as you look when you're workin'."

"Why Applejack, I didn't know you cared." Rarity practically purred at the words, batting her eyelashes at Applejack across the table, the farm pony coloring a bit.

"That's not 'xactly what I meant."

"Aww," the unicorn said, feigning disappointment as Applejack relaxed slightly, a coy smile still dancing on Rarity's lips. "Well, I still say you should wear your mane and tail free more than you do."

"Only if you go a day without your makeup and fake eyelashes."

Rarity considered it for a moment, making Applejack blink, before she nodded her head. "Very well. How about we make it a little bet? If everyone says that I look better without my usual preparation, I will spend a day working on your farm, doing whatever terrible labor you demand of me. But if they say you look better with ten minutes of -my- preparation, you get to model dresses for me all day. Deal?" The unicorn was wearing a sickly sweet smile, making Applejack smile one of her own, a rather competitive grin last seen during the Iron Pony competition.

"It's a deal," the cowpony said, "But only after we get a few days to settle in when we get back. I need to catch up on some of my work around the farm, and I can't afford to spend all day modellin' dresses when there's work to be done."

"Fine!" the unicorn pronounced. "Next Tuesday it is then."

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