Chapter 14
The Grand Galloping Gala, a normally dreary event, and he had grown tired of the shallow mares, not that he shied away when he got the chance. It worked both ways though, and he knew that his rather large ego needed curtailing. Tonight was going to be different, Twilight Sparkle attending with some of her new friends. Perhaps one would show some interest. He watched from the corridor above the entrance hall. He saw the mares approach, taking in all their features, but his gaze kept drawing back to the beautiful white unicorn mare. He managed to catch her attention in the dance hall, smirking as she followed him towards the gardens. “Well, hello. I am Prince Blueblood.”
“I am... Rarity. Oh my, what a lovely rose.”
“You mean... this rose? Thank you. It goes with my eyes.” Stupid, stupid stupid!!!!
“Miss Rarity! Stop!”
“Oh. Prince Blueblood! How chivalrous.”
“One would hate to slip.”
“Yes. One certainly would.”
“One's cloak should take care of the problem.” Why the buck did I not use mine? What the hay is wrong with me???
“Oh, of course it will. “
A large apple cake sailed through the air, heading right for the stallion. His first instinct as taught to him by the now retired Captain Nightlight was to seek cover, but unfortunately he grabbed the nearest thing to him. The end result was the cake impacting Rarity, who turned upon him with a growl and a face red from anger. “You, sir, are the most uncharming prince I have ever met! In fact, the only thing royal about you is that you are a royal pain!”
“Ewww...! Uh, stay back! I just had myself groomed!” WHY AM I NOT ASKING IF SHE IS ALL RIGHT? Not that she will be, but still...
“Afraid to get dirty?!” The stallion ran as she began to shake her body, not stopping until he was safely back in his chambers, locking the door and leaning against it. He looked down at his stained suit and gasped. He had just been berated for being an ass in front of the Canterlot Elite, hundreds of guards, and the personal guests of Princess' Celestia and Luna. Being humiliated had never felt so good.
“Hi, Blue... it's been awhile since we last spoke properly. Celestia says we can't use magic to help you, not even me. Rarity's asleep on the couch right now, as it's three o'clock in the morning. I can't sleep, and needed somepony to talk to. You remember all those times we talked in the evenings, right?”
“Hmph, Ah still ain't forgiven 'im fer sayin' that 'orrible stuff about mah cooking!”
“You'll get your turn, Applejack, as soon as Rarity is through. It's been two days, Blue, and she won't eat unless we force her. She's waiting for you.”
The mare grumbled as she entered the store that one of the servants had given her directions too. Almost immediately two more mares appeared, the first tensing a little as she recognised one. They introduced themselves, and were soon taking her measurements. Rarity stood tapping her lips, causing the visitor to panic. “Is anything wrong, Miss Rarity?”
“I'm... not so sure... Prince Blueblood!” The stallion turned mare tried to run, but against two adept magic users he stood no chance. He suddenly found himself stripped of all clothing, both mares giggling at his new... assets. “Well then, it would seem some things have changed. We certainly cannot call you prince any more... so how about Princess Bluebell?”
“Fine, whatever. Have your fun and just let me leave, with what little dignity I have left. Which, before you say anything, is little indeed.” He was then led through the torture that anypony with a big sister knew of, hundreds of items of clothing floating around him in two auras as the first dress slipped over his shoulder.
He was forcibly dressed in everything from provocative lingerie to ball gowns, and everything in between. Come mid morning, Rarity and Fleur had reached an agreement, and even he had to admit that the short red dress he was now sporting fitted his new body well. He was about to leave for the castle when Rarity appeared with a box. She opened it to reveal a matching pair of red high heels, forcing them onto his feet. Fleur quickly came over and applied some make up, before they pushed him into the street and locked the door. They giggled as the male who was currently female shook his head to clear the disorientation, and then began to wobbly make his way back to the castle.
“Damn stallion. Why was I attracted to you in the first place? And why didn't you come talk to me when you were in Ponyville? I saw you watching the Boutique, but I was wary of your reasons. And your latest act, saving my life. Another bearer would be found... but why?”
“Because...” Blueblood's voice was hoarse and dry, the stallion giving a few coughs as Rarity went wide eyed with shock. His eyes fluttered open and he sat up with a wince, glancing down at his bandaged chest, then back to the mare. “...no matter if another bearer was found, and not even if it was the right thing to do anyway, you're worth saving, Miss Rarity.” She gave a cry of joy as she threw her arms around his neck, her tears falling to his shoulder.
Gray and Dean walked down the corridors of Canterlot Castle, having vacated the throne room under advice from Twilight Sparkle. Apparently, once Celestia got in one of those moods, there was no getting anything out of her until the next morning. They were quite surprised to find they weren't being escorted, even more surprised when a random guard showed up and passed them a spell gun each, walking off with a nod. They had just turned a corner and saw Luna come running out of one of the rooms, sobbing. She took one look at them and then ran in the other direction, and the pair walked forward, slowing down as a voice drifted out of the door. “Issued... issued... issued, but I'm keeping it... mine... issued.”
They peeked around the door to find Alec had already gone through a desk, sorting out different items, and continued with different storage spaces. There was a small pile of personal effects, and another pile of items, which was larger. The pegasus had his back to them, rooting around in a closet. “And the rest can stay.” He turned around with a crate in his arms, sweeping the small pile from the desk into it, before he looked up and noticed his guests. “Gray, Dean. What can I do for you?”
The pair just looked at each other, Dean backing away and leaving whatever this was to Gray. “Uh... what are you doing?”
“This? Clearing out my office. Got no use for it now.”
“What about Luna?”
“Luna? Why, was she here? I'll go talk to her later.” Alec started to walk towards the door, slowing down as he noticed the weapons slung over the human's backs. “You two are armed.”
“Yeah, we were given them.”
“Hmm, fair enough.” He carried on walking and they followed, the pegasus adding the small crate to a pile by one of the service entrances. They noted the markings on the box, the word 'Ponyville' written on them. “Well, that's everything. Just gotta wait for the moving company.”
“What the hell are you doing?” Alec stood up and turned to Dean, raising an eyebrow at him as he pondered the question. “Why is all your stuff in boxes?”
“This? I'm going home. They don't need me here any more, and I haven't got any reason to stay... wait, you said something about Luna, didn't you?”
“Yeah, she just left your office, crying her eyes out.”
“Shit. I'll give her some time to calm down. Now, if you'll both follow me please.” They did as asked, Alec leading them back towards the throne room. It was surprisingly empty, and they were guided over to an office that was opposite Celestia's, a purple star upon the door. The pegasus stopped outside it and knocked on the wood.
“Enter.” The trio did just that, finding Twilight Sparkle sat behind a large desk, with two seats in front of it. “Oh good, you're here! Take a seat, please.” Gray and Dean shrugged, settling into the plush chairs after removing their guns. “Ah, I see you have your weapons issued. Now... I truly am sorry about not being able to send you home, but after a talk with Celestia before she got too drunk, we have come up with a solution. Alec?”
The pegasus walked forward and pulled out two brown envelopes from his jacket, passing one each to the humans. They ripped them open and pulled out the paperwork, eyes going wide at the title. They were then passed two pens, and Alec stood behind them. “You've both proven yourself trustworthy, and skilled. I know I initially showed hostility towards you both, and I am truly sorry. But... you need a job if you're going to stay.”
“To that end..” They looked up to Twilight as she continued, a copy of the papers spread across her desk. “...we have decided where it would be best to put somepony of your skill levels. For now, we would like you to assist with training of new Royal Guards.” She then smiled at them, motioning to the forms that said 'Application for Equestrian Military Service' across the top, and they glanced at each other, Gray, raising an eyebrow.
“Could... we have a moment to discuss this?” The mare nodded at them, and Alec followed her out, closing the door behind them. Gray started to look over the forms when he heard scratching on paper to the side of him, finding Dean filing the paperwork in rapidly. “Really? Just like that?”
“She's right, we need a job. What else are we going to do, become florists?” He considered this for a moment, before leaning forward and reading the document line for line, then going back to the beginning and filling in the required fields. He snickered as he came across the three check boxes for pony race, adding another one underneath and writing 'other' next to it. He was a quick writer, and both he and Dean finished with in moments of each other, the door swinging open again and the ponies returning.
Twilight gathered the papers up and read them over, Gray's first, stopping and looking at him with a slight grin as she noticed his extra option. Next came Dean's, and she stopped near the top with a sigh. “Mr Hollis...”
“Yes, your majesty?” She tried not to laugh at the grin on his face, the man having clearly worked out why she had stopped.
“For the option of 'sex', you ticked 'mare', and wrote underneath 'stallions don't do it for me'. You do realise that this is an official form, don't you?”
“Yep.”
“Fine. Everything else seems to be in order, I'll send these to processing. Alec if you could see them to your new office please.”
“New office? What new office? I just quit.” It was clear the pegasus was just as confused as the humans, his free eye going wide at the paper floated over to him in a purple aura. He tilted his head around the side of it, staring at Twilight. “You sure about this? Interpersonal skills aren't exactly my forte. You could scar them for life, you know?”
“Yes, well Celestia chose to ignore your resignation, and gave you this job instead. Now, if you could head to your new office, the next batch of recruits will be ready in a few hours.”
“Sure. Dean, Gray, grab your weapons and follow me.” The trio left the office, following the map that was at the bottom of the paper in the pegasus' hand, and ten minutes later they stopped outside a set of double doors. They pushed through them to find a office almost four times the size of Alec's previous one, with three desks evenly spread out. “Well guys, welcome to your new home for the foreseeable future.”
The pair wandered in, noting that the desk to the side had their names on small wooden blocks already, as if Celestia had this idea a while ago. Letting his gaze drift around the room, Gray noticed something strange, walking over to the other desk. “Hey Alec, weren't you a captain?”
“No, that was just a title whilst I was Luna's guard. I needed the same level of authority as them. Why?” He leaned over Gray's shoulder and gave a low whistle, taking the wooden block from the man. “Gunnery Sergeant, huh? Not too bad a drop from Sergeant Major. Right then, guess I better go tell Luna that I'm staying in the castle.” Alec walked over to one of the walls and tapped the map that was hanging there. “Familiarise yourselves with this, it's where you'll be working. I'll meet you in the recruit's billet in two hours.”
They nodded to him as they moved to their own desks, the pegasus leaving them to route through their drawers to see what goodies they had. About twenty minutes later they heard an explosion, and they rushed to the window behind Alec's desk. The started to chuckle as they noted smoke pouring out of Luna's tower.
Thirty two ponies of mixed race and gender stood in the wide hallway, staring at the wall opposite them. Their trainers were running late, but that was to be expected with the military. The door swung open and a unicorn stallion walked in, dressed in the red best of the Royal Guard, the crown insignia of a major on his lapels. “FACE YOUR FRONT!” They all whipped their heads away, now slightly nervous. “Gentlecolts, they are all yours.”
The doors swung open again, two... things walked in. They did their best not to look at them, but as they walked down past each recruit, the pony's eyes stole a glance at them. The pair took positions at the end of the hall, turning and standing straight. The door swung open once more, and a pegasus stallion walked in, saluting the unicorn, who nodded at him. “I AM GUNNERY SERGEANT DEADEYE, YOUR SENIOR DRILL INSTRUCTOR.
“Deadeye?” Gray just shrugged at Dean, turning his head slightly so he could look at the other man.
“Dunno, never heard him called that before, I wonder what THE HELL WAS THAT?” The shout drew the room’s collective attention as their heads turned behind them, following the blur and impact noise, finding a knife halfway buried into a picture of a changeling soldier on a notice board, right between the eyes. They swallowed nervously and nodded back to the pegasus staring at them with a slight grin, Alec continuing with his ‘introductions’.
“THE TWO DOWN THE END THERE ARE SERGEANTS HOLLIS AND HEARTBELLE, MY ASSISTANTS. YOU C/O IS MAJOR BLUEBLOOD. FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL SPEAK ONLY WHEN SPOKEN TO, THE FIRST AND LAST WORDS OUT OF YOUR FILTHY SEWERS WILL BE SIR. DO YOU MAGGOTS UNDERSTAND THAT?”
“Sir, yes, sir.” Blueblood shook his head at Alec, showing his disappointment at the recruit's enthusiasm. The pegasus growled slightly, stepping forward a little.
“BULLSHIT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! THIS GOES FOR THE MARES AS WELL, SOUND OFF LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PAIR!”
“SIR, YES, SIR!” Blueblood nodded this time, a small smile tugging at his lips as Alec just scowled at them.
“BETTER! Now whilst you are here, there will be no racial or gender bigotry. I don't care if you are an air head pegasus, a snobby unicorn, or a dirty earth pounder, mare or stallion, you are all equally worthless to me. You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of griffon shit, and it's my job to change that.” Alec walked to the nearest recruit to him, his good eye staring at the pony. “So you think you're good enough to protect Equestria, huh?”
“Sir, yes, sir!”
“Bullshit, I can't hear you!”
“SIR, YES, SIR!”
“Better.” The stallion stepped away, a smirk on his muzzle as he nodded to Blueblood, standing to the side. The unicorn stepped forward, hands clasped behind his back as he walked past the recruits.
“Thank you, Sergeant. As you have been told, I am Major Blueblood. I am here to ensure your training goes as smoothly as possible. If you have any issues, then your first point of contact is the two sergeants, then Gunnery Sergeant Deadeye. If you can't find them, my office is just down the hall, and the door is always open.” He had made it back to the entry way, and checked his watch. “It has just gone sixteen hundred. Your first day starts at oh-five hundred, where you will be issued your kit. For now... go get some food and enjoy the evening. Dismissed!”
The ponies stood still for a moment, then turned and started to walk towards the door. The first ones stopped as they got a better look at the pegasus standing nearby, staring at the black patch across his left eye. His gaze narrowed at them, before he worked out what it was. “If you fillies survive my training, I'll tell you about it. Now buck off.” They didn't need to be told twice, streaming towards the mess.
Gray and Dean followed the instructions on the piece of paper, emerging onto a large balcony. There were several tables set out with two chairs each, but there was no one else present. The were about to leave when Celestia appeared, followed by a few others. She motioned Gray over to a table and sat, the man sitting opposite her. Dean noted the the other tables were filled up by pairs, Luna with Alec, Blueblood with Rarity, and Twilight with an unknown pegasus, his coat orange and his blue mane flapping around in the breeze.
He felt someone next to him and glanced out of the corner of his eye, smirking as he came across Joy. She gave a gasp of surprise as he grabbed her arm, leading her over to the only empty table. She giggled as he pulled her chair out for her, taking a seat opposite the mare. The sound of small talk rose up, each pair trying to outdo the other.
After a few moments, Celestia tapped her glass, bringing silence all round as she stood. “I have asked you all here tonight to officially welcome Gray Heartbelle and Dean Hollis into the Royal Guard.” There was a polite round of applause, which Celestia quieted down with a wave of her hand. “I know that some around the castle would see this decision from a different point of view, but the fact is that they saved the life of everypony here. So, if you could please join me in raising a glass to Equestria's latest heros.”
The pair shrunk back in their seats, trying to downplay their actions. Dean smiled sheepishly as Joy leant forward, squeezing his hand as it rested on the table. Her thumb started to stoke the back of his hand, and his smile got slightly bigger. “Now then...” They all turned to the Solar Diarch as she continued. “... we have all been busy today, and my nap this afternoon helped. So, it is time to eat.”
A door to the side opened, a conga line of servants bringing trays of food out. The started was a simple salad, which didn't last long. The main course surprised Dean, who hadn't had any meat since his arrival, but the cooked pieces of flesh on his plate made his stomach rumble, and the mare opposite to start giggling. The small talk continued, Celestia watching with a smile as she looked around at the peaceful setting. “Celestia? Who's that guy?” She turned to look at where Gray was pointing, smiling as she looked at the pegasus.
“That is Flash Sentry, a transfer from the Crystal Empire Guards. He is going to be working as Blueblood's assistant, so you will be seeing a lot of him over time. Do you like your new job?”
“Only had it an afternoon, but it's... going to be interesting. Tell me, what made you choose that?”
“Well, I could have have given you ambassador status, as you are visitors from a foreign nation. Anything you wanted would be paid for by the crown, me. Would you really want that?”
“No... no, I wouldn't. I couldn't scrounge off you for the rest of my life.” There was a tap on his shoulder, Alec motioning for him to follow. “Excuse me a moment, Celestia.” She gave him a polite smile as he walked away, being led over to where Blueblood, Dean and the other pegasus were standing. “Okay, what's up?”
“I'm going away for a while tomorrow. You guys are going to help Blueblood and Flash with the recruits for the next six months. Then... I should be back.” Alec glanced over his shoulder at Luna, who quickly averted her gaze, Gray noting that she seemed sad, “Anyway, this is more than likely the last you'll be seeing of me tonight. Luna and I are going to retire now, enjoy the rest of your evening.”
With that he walked away, taking Luna's hand and leaving the balcony. Gray turned and found that the rest of them didn't seem to know what he was on about, and each one left to go back to their mares. He chuckled as he thought that, taking a seat opposite Celestia. She gave a giggle as Joy pulled Dean back into the castle, followed by the others, leaving them on the balcony. “I assume you are tired after the past few days. Perhaps it would be best if you were to retire for the night.”
“Are you sure?” She gave him a small smile and nod, so he stood from the table, taking her hand and causing her to giggle as he kissed it. He then left the balcony, heading down towards the castle apartment he had been given. All of the items of clothing Rarity had supplied for him had been brought down from the guest room to his new home. He slipped out of the suit he was wearing, placing it over the back of a chair, and climbed onto the bed, closing his eyes. The was a flash of light and he felt someone lay next to him, causing him to open his eyes again. “Celestia?”
Her head appeared in his vision, a hand placed on his chest. He glanced down and noted that she was in her underwear, and that she was now lying against him, her face closer. “I never properly thanked you for saving my life.” She pressed closer, closing her eyes as her lips softly pressed to his. He pushed her away, a look of confusion crossing her features. “Do you not find me pleasing?”
“What? No! I mean, yes! It's just...”
“Do you... like stallions?”
“Oh, fuck no! I... like the mares. I... just think it's too soon.” Celestia pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, her back to the human. With a sigh he sat up, putting his hands on the mare's shoulders as she prepared to stand, pulling her back down. “You can stay for the night if you wish.” Her horn flashed once, the covers being teleported above them.
Gray rolled over so that he was on his back, Celestia shifting until her chest was pressing against his side, wrapping one of her legs over his. She craned her neck up and kissed his cheek, then settled her head onto his shoulder. He brought a hand up and started to stroke her mane, hearing the mare gift out a soft sigh. Her arm wrapped around his chest as she settled in for the night.
Gray and Dean sat in the shadows of the packed throne room. Half of the group were nobles and castle staff, the rest filled with guards. “So, you know what is this all about?”
“Don't have a clue, Dean. Celestia wouldn't tell me anything.”
“Heh, so you got some too, huh? Save a mare's life, and she'll fall at your feet.”
“No, we just shared the same bed. So you and Joy... had some fun, did you?”
“You bet! Man, I never knew how good they could control their tails! Just wait, you'll find it pretty fucking awesome, and...” The doors swung open, cutting off their conversation, a few guards walking with in a white crescent moon on a black patch upon the pauldron parts of their armour. The humans joined with the ponies in bowing as Princess Luna walked into the room, the pair noting she was wearing a blue outfit in the similar style of a British judge.
She took her place upon her throne, her guards lining the steps of the dais. She waved her arms out wide, the gathered crowd standing and then taking their seats. Her gaze moved around the room and finally settled on the two men. “Bring him in.” Their attention was drawn to the door, where four guards were escorting another pony. They easily recognised him by the black patch over his left eye, the group stopping by the dais and bowing. “You may rise.” The four guards did so, but Alec remained bowing. “I said; rise.”
“I do not deserve to, your majesty.”
“Very well. You have been brought forth to court on this day to answer the charge of grievous bodily harm against a detainee who could not defend themselves within the castle walls. How do you plead?”
“Guilty, your majesty.” There was a hushed whisper throughout the room, which Luna silenced with a wave of her arm.
“In light of your record of service to the crown, your punishment shall be...” Gray and Dean looked at Luna as her voice cracked, watching as she tried to get her emotions under control. Alec closed his eye with a deep breath, then opened it and locked his gaze with Luna's, nodding at her. “You punishment shall be six months of hard labour in the Gem Mines.”
“THAT IS BULLSHIT!! HE HELPED SAVE YOURS AND OTHERS LIVES!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO HIM!” A group of guards jumped in front of Dean as he tried to get up to the throne, scowling at Luna. “HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN LOVER?” This caused another hushed whisper to spread throughout the room, everypony focusing on the pair still staring at each other.
Alec stood and waited patiently as the guards shackled his hands behind his back, Dean still struggling to get closer. One of the guards gripped his arm, the stallion still staring at Luna, waiting for the final part. “You... will now be taken to the dungeons until your transport to the mines is ready. C-c-court is adjourned.” Alec finally let his gaze drop, hanging his head as the guards escorted him away.
Luna gave one last pointed look in the direction of the angry human, who ceased his struggling when he saw her eyes filled with tears, and the she stood from the throne, striding out of the room as regally as she could. The rest of the ponies filed out, none of them noticing the servant who was staring intently at Gray.
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I....... don't know what to say about alecs punishment I feel like he didn't desreve it but in a way he did so I don't I think I'm just rabling on but other then that it was a really good chapter
Mmmm...nice chapter. My only problem is with semi-obvious foreshadowing. We are all bronies here with what i would consider to be 'common' knowledge of the Equestria universe and I get tired of having changelings and manticores and magic and whatnot explained to me over and over. It is interesting to an extent how each author tends to do it, but after so much it gets routine. The suspicious maid is automatically either a changeling spy or an agent for an OC villain. It gets old. I do understand that as of now doing something original with an ongoing story is difficult, and I applaud you for how well you have done so far. Every story here is based off of the same preexisting universe, that in of itself undermines the potential for originality. Your biggest offenses (Off the top of my head) are as follows. Military, Relationship with royalty/mane6, and everyone likes your character. The military side is so overdone it even hurts stories that do it well. Please don't send them to war. Relationships are a whole bag of worms, and writers tend to make the story about the relationship rather than having the relationship be a small part of the story. They are not inherently bad, just difficult to pull off well. God damn if so many stories have a main characters that can do no wrong. Have them piss someone off, and not be forgiven easily. Let them make mistakes. They are a person, so write them like a person. If you write a character like a character, it will seem like a character. I hope you know what I mean by that. All in all I like your writing style and since I don't know if this is just for fun for you or if you are a little more serious, this advice may mean nothing to you. Just stuff to keep in mind.
3428686 Who said it's a mare?
But... they're obviously going to be stopped, but it's who by.
That's why I gave him a serious punishment this time around, to prove he isn't infallible. And he's not liked by everypony, he just avoids those ones. Or do you mean Gray and Dean? Octavia ringing a bell? She's still not happy about that vase.
The military part... easy for me as it's my job. They're not going to go to war per se, but there will be more fighting. I think I've got the relationships under control, and the main focus will be on Gray and Celestia. I mean, come on, it does have a romance tag, what did you expect?
And all my stories are for fun. They may seem serious, but it's not meant to be all the time.
I think the janitor is going to need a rase, once we get passed the fillers, it is going to get so messy that the whole office is going to smell like shit for months maybe years after.
3428727 Huh? I have no idea what you mean here.
3428698 I'm not trying to rag on you personally and I know you have your reasons for choosing to do what you do. It's late here and I'm tired. I'm basically just ranting about things I've noticed about the quality of material on this site in general, and giving advice on how to avoid the pitfalls i see a lot of writers stumble into. This story is certainly a cut above the regular riff raff I see around these parts, and by extension that goes for you as a writer. Most seem to just want to write about an idea they had. You have the ability to really polish your writing and make something grand if you like. I'm talking and I should be sleeping. What kind of example am I setting for my workers when I show up with bags under my eyes and humming tunes i don't dare explain for fear of never living it down...tut tut indeed.
3428730 then let me put it this they. Alec has done more then just messing up with people around with is attitude.
He has lashed out towards those around him including Luna.
Then we have the two humans from earth.
Dean seems like a great guy, but has some kind of haunting memories that just wont leave him be. Or maybe it was only after the palace got attacked the first time but he is not so traumatized anymore.
Gray, intresting character you have set up, I have no bad thoughts on this guy but I do think that somthing is coming that could the dull as hell or very suspenseful. I have idea what you have in mind but their is one thing remains perfectly open for ideas.
That changling leader of yours, King Metamorphosis, he could do so much damage right now in so many way without having to go to a full out war, or without launching another full out assault on the palace again.
So in my own little stupid joke, when the point comes of you doing whatever you have set in mind with King Meyamorphosis, he could fuck these guys up in so many ways without having to rais a sword right away.
sorry, I am just very analytical when it comes to writing. Just like having a very good final or epic final battle between the hero and villian.
3428768 He shouted at Celestia after she had told Gray about his history... but I don't remember him lashing out at Luna... not in this one. Upset her, yes, but not on purpose. Most see his attitude as 'get the job done, anyway possible', which isn't always the right way.
Dean... even though they've only known each other for a few days, he and Joy have developed feelings for one another, as evidenced by his and Gray's conversation in the court room. He thought he saw her get killed, put him in a shocked state.
Metamorphosis can't really do much right now, most his two hundred changelings that were loyal to him are dead. And don't worry, it is going to be an epic battle. Probably a good couple of chapters when it arrives.
Don't git me wrong, I like this story and hope to see more of it. I was just confuse with the rapid fire of events in this story. It wood be nice of you add sum background to the events in this last chapter.
Keep up with the good work you are doing.
Dragonfox
3429093 Chapter 14 summary; Blueblood woke up. They gave Gray and Dean jobs assisting with training guard recruits, putting Alec in charge of them. Celestia held a private meal with them in thanks for the rescue. They introduced themselves to the group they will be training.
Alec got a sentence for his callous attack on Dean. Dean didn't agree with it, shouted at Luna. Strange pony staring at Gray in to court room.
Dean also had some fun with Joy the night before, so look out for a 'lost scene' update soon!
Think that about covers it.
Good chapter, you should make it turn out the servant actually has the hots for Gray, and not be the changeling spy, who could actually be hiding amongst the recruits.
3429124 What's that? Have I seen Dubious?
...no.
...nice save there.
Than... oh shit, not again...
TIME FOR SOME FUN!!
Six months in a civilian labor camp? For something considered a war crime in most countries?
Once again the b
d got off easy. H
, he didn't even get slapped with a dishonorable for such grievous misconduct.
Also:
Should be "were".
3429182 I didn't say it was civilian, and he certainly won't have it easy. We won't be seeing him for awhile anyway.
And thanks, fixed it now.
3429142 I don't get it.
3429239 Don't worry about it, it's just the way my fucked up mind works.
3429202
A military prison = more than a hard labor camp. At least that's how it is in the US. To sentence someone to "X (time) hard labor" means a civilian labor camp, while sending them to a "military prison" means hard labor, ultra strict rules, harsh punishments and so on. A military prison is much worse than any labor camp (legal ones anyway).
And yes this is getting off easy. Six months is nothing for a military punishment sentence. He still has a job, he's getting pay, he's got benefits coming and more. A dishonorable would strip him of all benefits, restrict several rights, becomes a major black mark for any future employment (think having several major felonies to report instead of just one) and generally f
s up your life for a very long time, and even then it is a major stain on your permanent record.
3429246 Sort of like how I somehow managed to convince thirty people I'm not wearing pants, simply by saying "Pants suck, so I'm not wearing any"? Well, I mean I'm not wearing pants regardless, but it's pretty funny that people don't take random internet goers at face value.
3429248 To be honest, over here in the UK... he probably wouldn't even get as far as court. We're too lax over here. And having never been in trouble with the law, I don't really know much about it.
I understand that it's pissing you off, and sorry about that, but... this is how it's going to go.
Edit: Here's one for you to consider; maybe I want him to be hated, even though it it 'me'.
3429280
As for the difference in legal courts, yeah. The US courts are a bit more strict than UK courts. Though I'd be very surprised if the UK military courts were that lax. I'd think it would be bad for morale.
Reason why I'm PO'd about this is that there was a few similar cases in the US in regards to detainees in Iraq. It became a media frenzy, and the media painted the entire US military as if those four criminals were the exact same as every other warrior in the military. If I remember correctly each got a dishonorable with eight to ten years in Fort Leavenworth (think a military Maximum Security prison) but that portion never got covered by the media. So seeing this kind of BS, no matter what nation or service, always pisses me off.
In regards to the edit, they way everything has been portrayed, I highly doubt that's what you intend. There are too many things you are showing in the story that are "endearing factors" (something to make us feel for the character) to make us hate him. Though with his conduct, a majority of military members would hate him for being a dishonorable b
d son of a f
ing b
. F
ing piece of s
would not survive what his conduct would get him in the US military, that's for sure (not to mention that Hollis' actions are way off in regards to how a Marine would respond, though not too OOC for him).
3429321 Well look at it this way: At least it's not New Zealand, I don't think we even have a military court, the jury would be the entire army.
3429347
If the entire Army is anything like the few I met while I was in the US Army, then Alec there would have been strung between five Jeeps, going five different direction, and torn apart for what he did.
I'd call that a proper punishment
3429246 I also forgot to mention: Two days without sleep and being subjugated to the worst kind of maths makes me weird-er.
3429351 I was iterating the point that New Zealand's military is fucking tiny, I think there's only two jeeps and an APC between them. Not to mention, our soldiers are too mentally stable to commit any form of crime, all they do is stare at a wall with drying paint for entertainment.
3429359
Then I must have met some members of the New Zealand version of Special Forces. Those guys were borderline Section Eight* in some cases.
Also remember, size doesn't always matter. Look at Israel. They have a military that even the US doesn't want to mess with
*Section Eight = Mentally unfit [read: too insane] for US military service (usually reserved for those who are criminally insane and just want to kill people in very graphic ways).
3429379 But that's because they trained them. But if you've met a member of the New Zealand SAS, you'd know it, they'd likely buy you a beer and then regale you with how they survived with luxurious comfort in a forest for a few months.
3429386
These guys weren't the boisterous types. They were much more serious than the usual SAS stereotype. Didn't really talk about themselves or their own experiences to any great extent (other than poking some fun at the SAS stereotype). I didn't even really think of them as NZSAS until just now. In my experience (I've met several members of various Special Operations groups), the less they talk, the better they are. The Code of the Silent Professional and all of that.
3429425 An ex-SAS member teaches inner city youth at Auckland survival skills that make Bear Grylls look like a USA "Camper". Anyway, night.
3429445
Don't lump me in with that "US Camper", I can survive out in the woods with minimal aid. The Army made sure of that, lol.
3429445 3429457 I really don't want to admit this, but... you guys know that he's a Brit, right? He's also an asshole. Even we don't want him.
3430557
The New Zealand SAS is British? I'm lost here
3430569 No, Bear Grylls. He's one of ours... as much as it pains me to say it.
*overly shit eating grin*
Whadup, haters?
But even if I have no problem with that ship, I still don't really enjoy it. But I enjoy seeing butthurt so...
---------
Now who might that servant be? Hmm...
And no, I'm not happy with the Alec-thing. He's still the same OP shit, and you can't go back, but I have accepted that. The most important thing you should do now is NOT to "punish" him too much, because then it just gives the impression of you trying to make us like Alec (more), and that's a no-no. He already is the "Mr. Overpowered MatafakAAA!" and it's going to stay. It's just a bit easier to accept now that he isn't invisible (well played, man).
Though suddenly he feels very distant, wonder wh-oh yeah he knew about what's gonna happen okay.
3430557 I knew that, I was merely stating that his guy with a name that gives spellcheck a hernia teaches skills that make Bear Grylls look like your average "Camper" from the united states, you know, the guys in luxury RVs with enough supplies to survive the holocaust.
Aww, sweet! You used Bluebell!
3431291 I don't see him as OP, just good at what he does. Hey, at least I didn't make him an alicorn, right? Then he really would be OP'd. But like I said, we won't be seeing him for a while.
3431861 Glad you like it! Shame how he reverted back to a stallion, right?
3432923
It's that he's already almost like an alicorn xD
He seemed invulnerable, and since he was like a Chuck Norris when angry, it made him look incredibly OP.
It has gotten to the point, when I don't care if he dies, but I still don't WANT him to die. He'll think if the work as a holiday anyways since the superma-stallion he is xD
3432962 Remember the last chapter and what he was doing in the jail cell at the end of chapter two? His strongest limbs were his wings... and he can't fly any more, not after what Metamorphosis did to him. And trust me, the mining is not going to be a holiday camp. He isn't going to see natural daylight for six months.
3432994
Okay, but still won't change my point of view... yet.
tis bullshit that he was punished like this.
3433155 So you think he should have gotten away with attacking Dean when he was their prisoner?
3433159 oh, that part. all i remembered was the killing of chrissy. sure, should be punished. but 6 months? honestly i think if dean forgave him(cant remember if it happened) think it should be lowered. heh, seems like celey ignores his resignation so he could be punished.
3433168 Heh, he got something else for that, a reward from Luna. Dean hasn't forgiven him 'on screen' yet, but Alec has apologised. He still would have received his punishment even if she didn't ignore the resignation, but she chose to do that because he is the only one of her guards who knows about humans properly.
Would you want him gone if you were about to employ two of them?
3433177 i see your point, but 6 months bleh. half a year picking gems..if this happens and you dont have a trick up your sleeve, i want him to meet a pony version of yoda or gollum...for the luls of course
I am really bad with names. The one who got sent to the mines was the pony with human memories, right?
3434462 Yep, Alec, for when he attacked Dean after they captured him and rescued the CMC.
Your first sentence is a fragment, motherfucker.
Also "I could've have given you"
Contraction or spelled out, not both, because that looks awful.
Also, I don't think Dean should have had his little outburst there at the end. He should know that just because Alec pulled a hero moment out of his ass, it hardly excuses any crime. The law takes precedence over personal feelings unless it breaks the basic rights of all sapient organisms; it exists for order and justice, not comfort.
Also, Full-Metal Jacket? Alec is no Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
3442596 Changed them, thanks. The rest... you're entitled to your opinion, but it's staying.
Molestia nearly strikes again!
Luckys shild of no fucks given has a deflected whitestrakes opinion.