Chapter 01
The guards thudded down the halls after the strange creature in a vain attempt to catch it. Their last attempt at a barricade was a colossal failure, the fur-less looking earth pony leaping up and running along the wall at an upright angle, jumping off and rolling under the guards on the other side, easily evading them. This confused them, as it clearly wasn't a pegasus, due to the lack of wings, and not a unicorn due to no horn.
The human male managed to get himself into a closed room, catching his breath. There was a flash of light from behind him, and he tried to open the door to escape, but a white furry hand pushed back, keeping the door closed. He slowly turned, looking into the beautiful light magenta eyes of a very strange creature. His eyes roamed over her figure, starting at the ground.
On her feet were gold high heeled sandals, and he let his gaze linger on her long, slender legs for a moment, before they disappeared under a thigh length purple skirt. Her stomach was covered by the bottom of a yellow tank top, and his gaze settled on her ample chest for a few moments. He kept moving upwards, seeing the two wings on her back, a gold necklace with a purple gem in the shape of a diamond around her neck. Once he reached her face, he noticed the several inch long horn on her head, a crown matching the necklace on top. She also had a small muzzle, which was a little out of place at first. And then he noticed her hair of four different shades, floating on a unknown breeze, and her whole body was covered in white fur. “Hello.”
He backed away from this... thing, spotting an open window and running towards it. A gold sparkle appeared on the upper window, sliding it down. It left him just enough gap to jump through, and he smiled to himself, glad that he had been free running for the past ten years. “No, wait!” He didn't look back, leaping from the window sill to a drainpipe next to it.
Down wasn't an option, as he had come out above a waterfall, and couldn't see the bottom, so he went upwards. A room four stories higher had a light on, so that's where he headed. He slipped in the open window, seeing a roaring fire, and a large four poster bed, it's blanket with a large motif of a sun on it. He went to the door and cracked it open with a smile... which dropped as he came face to face with the creature again, surrounded by those soldiers.
He attempted to run towards the window once more, but stopped as he saw more of those things outside, hovering in the air. He heard movement, turning to find some of them heading towards him, but with a wave of the female's hand they backed away, slowly leaving the room and closing the door. A glance out the window showed the skies clear once more. “Please, don't run, I only wish to talk with you.”
Still he said nothing, watching as she sat on a large red velvet couch, in a position that he'd only imagined women in back on Earth... the thought made him look at her, not having even heard of such a creature before. It was clear he was no longer on his planet. “You must be thirsty after all that running. After all, you were going for a good six hours. You must have looped the castle five times, and piqued Luna's curiosity as well.”
A bottle floated over to him in a golden aura, and he noted that her horn was glowing the same colour. He tentatively reached for it, the aura tingling as his hand touched it. He glanced at the label, 'Sweet Apple Acres Cider' across it with the picture of an apple orchard. He gave it a sniff, then shrugging his shoulders took a sip. And then a whole mouthful at the taste. And then the running caught up with him, causing him to sit on the edge of the large bed.
Celestia watched as he pitched backwards, quiet snoring soon following. She gave a glance out the window and noted the position of the moon. Well, it's a little late to get the staff to prepare a guest room, I guess he can just stay here... She lifted him up using her magic, setting him down on her couch, gently placing his head on the cushions. She turned around and stripped off, quickly getting into her night clothes, and climbing into her bed. She gave on last look over to make sure he looked comfortable. Perhaps he would be willing to talk in the morning.
Gray slowly awoke, eyes opening enough to see he wasn't in his room, but he didn't remember going out that night. He craned his neck up as the door opened, eyes not focusing properly yet, meaning he could just see a blur. A woman's voice then hit his ears. “Well good morning Princess! Come, up! It may be the weekend, but that doesn't mean you can sleep past eleven in the morning! Now up!”
The curtains to the side were drawn back, and he found himself staring at a similar creature to the one in his dreams. This one looked relatively normal, no wings or horn, and was wearing what was obviously a maid's uniform. She looked the bed over and then smirked at him. “Uh... go away, Fair Heart. Twilight deals with this stuff on Saturdays!”
“Now now, none of that! You have a guest here it seems.” Celestia sat up, looking over towards the couch, where Gray was staring right back at her. He looked over and saw the door open, sprinting out of it, ignoring the pleas to stop. He blasted down a set of stairs, surprising the guards stood there momentarily, and then they gave chase. A glance out of a window revealed him to be on the ground floor, and he merged on to a corridor full of these strange creatures. There were guards, cleaning staff, political looking ones. And they were all staring at him.
There was a twitch from some of the guards, so Gray took the opportunity to run through the crowds towards the large open doors. The things standing there provided a good shield from the soldiers, and he ran out in to a massive garden, so he kept going, only slowing when he made it out of some gates and a few blocks over.
Ducking into a side alley, he climbed up to a balcony two stories high, hiding from the guards that followed. After a few minutes of fruitless searching, they gave up and moved out. Gray let out a breath of relief, turning to find the window open. Looking for a place to rest and for cover, he walked inside to find the furnishings of an amateur music studio. What he didn't noticed as he turned to close the window was the vase balanced precariously on the edge of a desk, which he sent crashing to the floor.
He heard a door open, and realised he was not alone, even before the female voice caught his ears. “Really, Vinyl, can you not use the front door like a normal pony? What were you doing using the baclco... WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU?” He turned around to see another of these creatures, again without wings or a horn. He took one step forward and she fled, slamming the door hard. The sound of clapping made him look at the window, where another one was waiting. Are they all just going to keep popping up like this? Seriously, it's annoying.
“We must commend you on your marvellous athletic performance, but next time it is probably best not to scare the lead violinist of the Canterlot Orchestra, hmm?” Yet another female, which Gray noted he had seen more of than males, stared at him. She was like the first one, but her fur was a shade of dark blue, her midnight blue hair floating on the same unseen breeze, and her piercing blue eyes seemed to stare at his soul.
Man, this one really likes blue. Wonder what that's all about. He gave her another look, this one being more modestly dressed in a simple suit. There was also a crown on her head, jet black, matching the necklace she wore, which had a small pearl jewel in the shape of a moon on it. He then noticed the things hovering out the window, and knew there must be more waiting outside. “Come, Our sister wishes to speak with you.”
“No, I'm not going anywhere with you!”
“Oh really?” His skin began to tingle as a blue glow wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to her. “And what made you think you had a choice in the matter? We certainly did not say so.”
“I think it will be fine here, Luna. Please, let him down.” They turned to see the white one in the room, the grey one with black hair peeking out from behind her. It was then that Gray noticed they had tails as well, and his brain finally sent him the signals he was waiting for.
The guards outside heard a filly-like scream, rushing inside only to be met halfway by Celestia and Luna as they carried the unconscious creature between them. He was transferred over and they followed the two mares back to the castle, ignoring all the stares of interest. They had just made it inside the gardens, preparing to close the gates when a young mare's voice, which most of the guards recognised, came through.
“WAIT!” There was a lavender blur as Princess Sparkle shot through, wearing her trademarked (not really, it's what the guards called it) librarians uniform. She shot over to the guards carrying it, a notepad and pen floating alongside her. “Ooh, a new species! I can't wait to study it!”
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To everyone it's nightflower so please enjoy our story all rude comments are to be sent to me
3001233
So any problems we blame you?
Well... I guess I'll keep an eye on this since it seems to be a Celestia ship fic... hopefully it doesn't veer into molestia territory
3001233
I won't favorite this, not yet, but I will watch from afar.
Night, like any story, there are some mistakes here and there, but they all look like really quick fixes, so don't worry too much. Nothing another quick skim can't fix.
Congratulations to you, author whos name I've already forgotten. It seems like you know what you're doing, and that's good for anybody looking to write anything.
Also, sweet questionable cover art. Keep it up, you two.
3001242 Well, problems with the ideas, yes. Problems with writing, no. And depending on how (if at all) rude, you will receive the same.
3001253 I honestly have no idea, depends on how Night want's to take it.
3001273 Well, you're more than welcome to point them out. Any help will be appreciated. Got to remember, though, that being a Brit, my spelling and grammar will be a little different to what you're used to. Still, hope you enjoy whatever we come up with!
I'll give this a go. You earn my "Like" button.
3001325
I'm definitely interested, but you're writing is a little hard to keep up with at some points. One minute he's cuddling Celestia, then he's running and stops to play guitar I think? It feels like the whole thing was rushed right out the gate. Still like I said before; I'm watching.
You had my curiosity...now you have my attention.
good but needs work
3001334 He was asleep at that point, and didn't have control then. As for playing the guitar... you'd think a music studio would be soundproofed, right? He was just taking a break from his early morning jog. Then his brain caught up.
3001335
3001377 May I ask how?
A bit to early to have an opinion yet.
Though some of the actions taken by tbe characters was just odd. Why didn't Celestia just move him with her magic to a sofa. Why did he randomly decide to start playing someone's guitar literally a minute after he was being chased. Not a very good job at laying low.
Also, the description of Celestia, and by extension the anthro ponies, could have some thinga added. Such as mentioning of she having fur, her fur color, the shape of her leg if it is digitgrade, and her muzzle, which is longer then mmany of the normal ponies.
I will be wayching this, to see where this goes. Hope this turns out to be a good story. Human shipping with Celestia is my favorite.
3001419 You make a good point about a sofa.. yeah, that happened. Um.... what does digitgrade mean? Also, I did say she had fur, when she shut the door on him before he jumped out the window.
And I did describe her as having a small muzzle, the only thing I missed, which I just realised, was her ears! As for the guitar... one comment up.
Still, thanks for watching!
3001467
This is an example for a digitgrade leg. NSFW image in link. From teh picture, you can see that if you would put down her leg to a standing position, it would look like she is standing on tiptoe.
great and don't worry about getting chapters up quickly just get them up with small amounts of grammar issues.
3001410 the grammar and the story is choppy it just doesn't flow it more stops then starts with each sentence
3001590 So... similar to a human leg, and not bending forwards at the knee? Uh.. we'll get to that!
3001596 This one will take longer, due to the fact I am not creating this one on my own!
3001599 Could you possibly pick out an example? I mean, it seemed fine to me.
3001636 A you don't tell us how he got their in the story some people never read the prolog and you had him run get seduced, run some more play a gaiter and the Twi shows up I mean how did he become uncochins and the description are a little off focused
3001681 Well, we're getting to that, don't worry and there isn't a prologue. Lots of successful stories have started this way. He didn't get seduced, as Celestia said, he was running around the castle for a good six hours. All she did was give him a drink, and then his body decided to rest.
The falling unconscious was his body mind catching up with the shock. It's been documented that shock can come into effect almost a week after something has happened. As for Twilight just turning up... I did have it saying that she deals with the princess stuff on Saturdays, and she was rushing back in because they were closing the gates. Then she saw Gray and went into 'study' mode.
Anyway, if it's not for you, than that's fair enough. Thanks for your input either way.
To answer your question no molestia, it might became slightly clop descriptive can't say till later I shall do that and thank you all and who dislikes our story
Run from twilight fool wouldn't trust anything she does.
3001467
This picture is an example. Look at her legs.
Missed that part.
That is the thing though. The normal ponies would have small muzzles. Celestia's, and Luna's are longer then most normal ponies.
Uhhhmmmm. If that is the character's reasoning then he is either not very bright, or just had one very massive dumb moment due to exaustion. He should have just waited for the guards to move along, and slip away unnoticed.
3001765 You just thanked... the ones who disliked the story? And no molestia? ...Fine!
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4910-3641847_d7b9517a976c0b3482f55162d24a9dcc.gif
3001784 He can't run from Twilight... he's unconscious!
3001785 Well no, just adrenaline pumping. Yeah, he used to high amounts, but not when standing still. Trust me, lots of it in your system, and you certainly don't think straight. But the guards did leave, Octavia (as if it wasn't obvious) ran out and grabbed some that were passing by. She also happened to be screaming about a monster, and Luna was following from up high anyway. And legs... yeah, we'll get to that!
super awesome story just like your other ones. I cant wait to see what happens next
3001307
I'll have to take that into account.
It feels rather promising, and it's nice to read some anthro story that isn't another clop, but it's too rushed. Another 1000 or so words would do much good for the pacing. Besides that, some bits don't fit to well. Starting singing after breaking into someones house, in the middle of pursuit, just to show his (or yours) music taste is, to be frank, really stupid. Rewrite would do good for this story.
As of now, I'll watch it, but I won't give a 'thumb'.
3002156 As I've explained, we do stupid things on adrenaline. As for going inside, he was trying to hide, and inside is the best way.
3002171 True, but when you try to hide, starting singing and playing electric guitar isn't considered as reasonable move, no matter the adrenaline level. It's like playing Splinter Cell with a boombox on Fisher's shoulder.
Welcome to my Read Now list
3002232 True. But, this one isn't really for me, and the guy who requested it liked it, so... you know.
3002275 Hello again.
Okay, time to point some things out.
Dropped a Y
Mixed up the u and o.
Off to a good start, and good thinking having someone proof read it first.
3002314 Thanks, fixed 'em now.
3002333 Thanks. Will start working on the next chapter properly soon, only got a little bit at the moment.
I am not a fan of "antrho" at all
, but compared to the humanXactual pony shipfics, these feel like a blessing.
Liked, and faved. It could use a little more description when it comes to Parkour.
It seems that I finally have found another fic with Parkour in it to scale my own fic to, and its another romance no less! It's refreshing to have the motivation this fic provides.
I can't wait to see more soon!
I feel bad about typing in errors but whatever...
It should say resist instead of resit.
Sorry to be a bearer of bad news.
The story is wonderfully promising to be a lighthearted and fun look at the apparent relationship, and so far it's coming across as rather adorable, but some of the actions seem very forced.
(1) The guards don't spend any time trying to protect Celestia from the strange and potentially dangerous creature that they know nothing about and who invaded their castle and ran amok for several hours.
(2) Celestia climbs in to bed with the strange and potentially dangerous creature that they know nothing about and gets all cozy.
(3) After Gray bolts a second time, he takes a moment from running for his life to kick back and show how musically-gifted he is. (Why?!)
In my opinion everyone is just too calm about what's going on - they're almost acting like long time friends.
Gray's repeated timely blackouts are also becoming groan-worthy. Especially after he spends so much time behaving relatively calmly.
I must favorite this and see where it goes...
Upon seeing the name 'Gray', i assumed this must be a fairy tale crossover. But alas, that was not the case!
That would be fun, though. Natsu chases gray over the horizen, plunging the two mages into an Equine world. Oh, and of course Ezra would have gone after them, thus resulting in Gray and Natsu fighting all the time with Ezra trying tie them up and bring them home...hmmm..has possibilities.....
Whoops!
Sorry about that, I forgot about not posting ideas here...whoops
Shoot me if you will
A romance with anthro Princess Celestia and it's not clop? WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!
NOT BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FYI IM NOT A BRONY >:D
3003098
Is this the bit where I say 'GTFO'?
Ah well, by the way, why'd you join this site if you aren't a brony, the name sorta implies what the content reenforces.
So yes, just WATCH THE SHOW!!!!!!
3003120 NO I JUST LIKE READING! TROLLOLLOLLLOLLOLLOLLOLL! Nope
3003135
You little
and I find your lack of emoticons disturbing
3003153 LOLZ I WILL NEVER EVER WATCH THE Show to let u know and https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=yy0Bvu7vy9I TROLLOLL
3003165
Ok, now you are merely devolving into senseless giggling.
If you keep on at this senseless dribble, constantly, you have grounds for a ban
So stop trolling, and just read the stories.
PS: and guessing by the content of your posts, you are probably about ten years old, just thought I'd clear that up.
3003183 I did Read the Story And I liked it :3 U like music? https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rm1C9vK2R9s&list=UULTZddgA_La9H4Ngg99t_QQ,It's Not The Trolllollollol Song -_-
3003098
then why did you go through the trouble of creating an account for a website about fanfictions for bronies hmm
3003210 I LIKE READING!PRoblem?
3003210 that's what I was wondering