Nothing
Twilight Sparkle stood in front of a door. It was, for all intents and purposes, a door one would expect to find in Canterlot Castle. The door was large, wooden, ornately carved and could be described as ‘an all-around nice door.’
Well, ignoring the large sign that had been nailed to the masterfully-carved door.
And it wasn’t even the sign itself that, in Twilight Sparkle’s opinion, ruined centuries of history. No, what bothered Equestria’s newest princess was the message written on the sign that had been haphazardly ruined centuries of Equestrian history.
The sign read, in crayon that seemed to shift between the most awful colors known to ponykind such as ‘Foal-food green,’ ‘Neon yellow,’ and ‘orange,’ “Discord’s Room. Don’t come in here unless you have the power to turn me into a statue. In which case, come right in.” This was accompanied by a grey crayon sketch of the Draconequus himself.
Twilight sighed and knocked on the door. The sign promptly erased itself, and the crayon drawing grew until its grey facsimile of a face took up the entire space.
Crayon Discord spoke with the voice of the classic bored secretary. “Discord’s room, where the Chaos happens, this is Discord speaking, how may I help you?” it droned.
“I have to speak to you Discord. Celestia’s orders.”
The drawing shook its head. “I’m sorry, Discord isn’t in right now. I, Discord, would be happy to leave a message for Discord that he will receive upon his return.”
Twilight brought a hoof to her forehead; a movement that had become quite polished ever since she first became a Princess. “Discord, do we really have to do this each and every time I come here?”
“Yes. Discord’s orders.”
“I swear, I will personally rip your historically damaging sign from the door if you don’t open it in two seconds!”
“I’m sorry, Discord isn’t here right now—“
“One.”
“I would be happy to take a message that he would receive upon—“
Twilight’s horn began to glow, enveloping the sign in her magic. Crayon Discord rolled his eyes and, without so much as a puff or shine, disappeared from the sign. The genuine Discord appeared behind Twilight. He put a paw on the Princess’s shoulder.
“You know, if you hadn’t always been such a stick in the mud I’d think that you’ve lost your sense of humor.”
Twilight shrugged off the paw. “My sense of humor is perfectly fine, thank you very much.”
Discord shrugged. “Whatever you say. Now, what brings you to my humble abode?”
“I’m supposed to speak with you ab—“ Twilight was cut off by the boom of a party favor.
“Oh, congratulations Twilight Sparkle!” shouted Discord giddily as he made balloons and confetti appear throughout the hallway. “You’ve already spoken to me and are free to go!” A party hat snapped itself around Twilight’s head. “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” The Draconequus pranced around the alicorn, throwing streamers and party favors in his wake.
“DISCORD!”
Discord turned with a sly grin. “Yes, Twilight?”
“Let me finish my se—“
“Sandwiches?” The Draconequus conjured a dandelion sandwich from thin air.
Twilight Sparkle attempted to make Discord burst into flames with a look. Unfortunately, the Draconequus was a bit too powerful; not to mention fireproof.
“Sentences,” finished Twilight.
Discord smiled and snapped up the sandwich. He motioned for Twilight to continue.
“As I was saying,” said the alicorn with a huff. “I’m supposed to speak with you about Equestrian history.”
“History?” asked Discord. “Do I look like a tutor to you? I’m sure that there’s somepony in a university who would love to speak to an egg-headed princess about history. I, however, have better things to do.” He attempted to dramatically float away.
“It’s not that kind of history,” said Twilight.
Discord’s ears stood on end. And then they left his head completely and floated over to Twilight. The rest of the Draconequus materialized under the disembodied ears. “What do you mean ‘not that kind of history’?”
“Do I have your attention now, Discord?” asked Twilight with a smirk
“For now. Though I have to admit that it probably won’t stay with you for—“ Discord decided that he was hungry and turned a nearby suit of armor into chocolate. He broke off the visor and began to eat. “I’m sorry, what were we talking about?”
Twilight shook her head, mentally adding a destroyed suit of armor to the list of Discord’s offenses. “Celestia wants me to learn about history from a first-hoof source. And it’s not the usual Pegasus clan versus Unicorn kingdom versus Earth Pony tribe history.”
Discord put a claw to his chin and rubbed it thoughtfully. “I see. So, little Princess, you’re supposed to learn about the Old Days.”
“Old Days?”
“Yes!” Discord’s voice gained a nostalgic, giddy edge. “The Old Days; back before all of this silly nonsense about ponies and Princesses and alicorns…” The Draconequus glanced at the pony alicorn Princess in front of him. “No offense. I’m sure that you’re all doing a fine job, but everything was so much more fun back in those days. Even before I took over!” He placed a paw on Twilight’s shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll find it very interesting.”
The Princess, however, was caught between her love of knowledge and her dislike of Discord. She shrugged off the paw for a second time. “So… you’ll teach me?” she asked in a tone reserved for questions where neither answer would be pleasant. It was much the same as asking whether one would prefer being clubbed to death or listening to country music.
A terrible fate no matter what the answer.
“Of course not!” bellowed Discord. “That sounds absolutely terrible! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in my room!” He swept up his tail dramatically and quickly floated through his door. As in, literally floated through the door. He didn’t open it, merely went through it as though it weren’t there.
Twilight sighed for the umpteenth time that day. Had she kept better count, she would have realized that it was her millionth sigh.
Miles away in Ponyville, the multi-dimensional being known only as Pinkie Pie began millionth-sigh Party Preparation Plan #63005. However, upon noticing that attention had shifted onto her, she straightened up and pointed back in the direction of Canterlot Castle.
In the aforementioned castle, in front of an aforementioned sign, which was hammered to an aforementioned historically relevant door, Twilight Sparkle decided that she had done everything she could to convince Discord and could now leave.
She had, in fact, taken a few steps in the direction of her temporary room before stopping. Twilight glanced down at the floor, then back towards Discord’s room, then at the floor again, then over to just about where the Throne Room is.
Princess Celestia asked me to do this.
And there it was: the thought that never allowed Twilight Sparkle to give up. Celestia had asked her to accomplish this; the elder Princess had needed Twilight to do something, to learn from her experience and to grow as a pony because of it. How heart breaking would it be to let Princess Celestia, who had acted as mentor and mother, who had trusted Twilight enough to invest her with Princesshood, know that her ‘Faithful Student’ and fellow Princess had failed her?
Twilight sighed for the million and first time. Pinkie Pie added a ‘Belated’ to her sign before promptly scolding what she called ‘the author’ for being so easily sidetracked. She pointed a hoof back towards the castle where, coincidentally, Twilight Sparkle had just raised a hoof to knock at a Draconequus’s door.
Her hoof came forward, as hooves tend to do when they knock on doors, with the intent of transferring energy into the wooden door, some of which would manifest itself through sound, thereby producing the effect of ‘knocking on a door.’ Most of this went through Twilight Sparkle’s mind in that fraction of a second in between deciding to move her hoof and her hoof actually making contact with the door, taking part in the aforementioned phenomena and ‘knocking on the damn door already,’ as a certain pink multi-dimensional being yelled out at that moment.
Twilight briefly wondered why this fraction of a second was taking so long. And then her hoof came into contact with the door. And then her hoof passed through the door, closely followed by the rest of her body. One of the Princesses of Equestria had made her rather ungraceful and dramatic, crashing exit into Discord’s room.
“Miss Sparkle, I’m so glad you could join us,” said Discord in a droning voice. “Please take your seat.”
Twilight looked up, rubbing her muzzle with her hoof, and found herself in an auditorium. It was, in fact, an exact replica of the auditorium of Celestia’s School for Talented Unicorns. Discord himself was sitting on the desk in the middle of the lower portion of the auditorium. He vaulted off of it and snapped his claws, making the desk dissolve into the ground. Another snap and he was dressed in a business suit.
“You, dear Princess, are here to learn about the Old Days. Just leave it to Professor Discord; you’ll be an expert by the time you leave.” Discord winked.
“I thought you weren’t going to teach me.”
“I changed my mind.” Discord quietly attempted to push a basket away. Which is to say, he wanted to draw attention to it; how stupid would it be for a Draconequus of untold power to try to hide something when he could just make it disappear?
Twilight, as she was supposed to, noticed the basket. “And what’s that, Discord?”
“What, this?” he asked, cradling the basket. “This is only a basket of the finest chocolate from every corner of our world! The Griffin Kingdom, Saddle Arabia, Equestria, practically every!” He took a bite from the basket. “It’s delicious! And Celestia just teleported in and promised me free reign as long as I gave you the lesson,” he added in a hurried and hushed whisper.
“What was that last part?”
“Nothing,” replied the Draconequus with a grin. “Ready?”
Twilight nodded and took a seat. She couldn’t shake the ball of tension that had formed in her stomach. Discord seemed too excited, far too excited for a simple basket of chocolate to warrant. Even now the Draconequus was sporting a malicious grin as he picked up an eraser and turned towards the chalkboard.
“Now Twilight Sparkle, we’ll be starting at the beginning. I trust that you have the old myths of creations memorized by heart?”
Twilight nodded.
“In the original archaic languages?”
Another nod.
Discord stifled a chuckle. “Nerd.”
“What was that, Discord?”
“Nothing Princess; merely the musings of an old Draconequus.” Discord turned away from the chalkboard, tossing the eraser with one of his paws. “So tell me, Twilight Sparkle, how did those stories begin?”
Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “Well, most of them say that the Universe began with Nothing.”
Discord grinned and raised a claw. “Exactly.” A snap resounded through the room. A tendril of shadow rose from the ground.
“Discord?!” shouted Twilight. “What are you do—“ The tendril expanded, forming a sphere around the alicorn, cutting off her cry.
The Draconequus turned back to the board. “A few seconds will do,” he said as he wrote the word ‘Nothing’ with an eraser. He began to sing to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Sparkle, Sparkle, new Princess
No more anger, no more stress
Lost your sadness, lost your fear,
Losing laughter, losing tears.
Sparkle, Sparkle, new Princess
All is lost in Nothingness.
Discord snapped again and the orb dissipated. Twilight Sparkle stood on the auditorium’s floor. She was visibly shaking.
“Discord,” said Twilight. “What the buck did you just do?”
The Draconequus grinned. “Nothing, Princess. Or at least a poor facsimile of Nothing.”
The alicorn closed her eyes, bringing her hoof to her chest as she breathed in; trying desperately to maintain her cool. Her trembling slowly stopped.
“Feeling better?” asked Discord with a smirk.
“I should turn you back into a statue for that,” snarled Twilight.
“Oh please. Do you really think you have the power to do that? It took two Princesses, whom also happened to be the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, to petrify me the first time.” A slightly manic gleam came into Discord’s eyes. He snapped his fingers and the auditorium began to break apart; cracks of bright light appearing in the walls and floor and the very air before dissolving. The two were suddenly standing on pieces of floating land.
“And don’t forget, Princess,” said the Draconequus with a smile. “This is my domain. The one space in the castle where I am free to use my magic to its fullest.” He glanced at the empty space below them. “Watch your step.”
Twilight threw one more glare at Discord. The Draconequus merely rolled his eyes in response.
“Follow along, my little alicorn; this is where it gets fun.” Discord stepped off of his platform, plummeting straight down into emptiness.
Twilight’s eyes widened as she ran to her own platform’s edge and peered over. There was no sign of Discord. Minutes passed, and still there was no sign of the Draconequus.
“F—Follow along?” she stuttered. “He couldn’t expect me to simply… step over the edge! That’s crazy! It goes against every single instance of—“
“Logic?” suggested Discord’s voice.
Twilight gave a start and turned around towards the voice. Nothing there.
“Oh, Twilight Sparkle,” continued the voice. “There’s no room for logic here. Ask yourself; what comes after Nothing in your precious little stories?”
“I—I…” Twilight composed herself for the umpteenth time that day. “Once Nothing has passed, Something naturally appears.”
A giant, bright red buzzer appeared in front of Twilight. It floated there for a moment before a giant replica of Discord’s paw appeared to press it. The buzzer croaked like a frog.
“Partially correct,” said the disembodied voice of Discord. “There was something, but it was a particular kind of something. Something very near and dear to me. Care to take a guess?”
Twilight didn’t respond, opting instead to continue looking for the voice.
Discord materialized, preceded by a disembodied sigh. However, the Draconequus and his voice weren’t in sync.
“Chaos, Twilight Sparkle, is the correct answer,” said the voice from the opposite direction of the body. “Chaos comes after Nothing. You see, Nothing is very boring and drab; it’s all murky black and, well, there’s nothing to it. In fact, all I did to you a few minutes ago was give you an idea of Nothing. It was more darkness and silence than anything else.”
Twilight shivered involuntarily.
Discord didn’t seem to notice. “True Nothing is impossible to experience,” he continued, “you wouldn’t remember anything happen because Nothing is not suited for life or independent thought. But the Universe decided that Nothing was boring and it wanted something fun to fill up the space.” The Draconequus gave his toothy grin. “And that’s where I come in.”
The image of Discord walked away, supported by empty air. But his voice seemed to remain at Twilight’s shoulder. “Now, Twilight Sparkle, I really do need you to follow this time. It would do you no good to be left behind.”
The Princess gulped and nodded, bringing a hesitant hoof over the edge. The empty air felt solid enough.
“Yes, Princess,” continued the voice of Discord. “One hoof in front of the other, onto the empty air. Pinkie Pie does it on a daily basis.”
Twilight nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“Onwards,” said Discord, “towards Chaos. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really should catch up to my body.”
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Interesting... well, headcannon. I'll be keeping up for updates to see if this goes anywhere new.
well this has been interesting XD cant wait to see more
It interests me, head cannon is fun, as long as it isn't rediculouse.
2993209
Not at all. Feel free!
2993213
Thanks.
This is gonna be good. My head is going to hurt though, both from trying to understand all of what Discord is going to be saying in the future, along with all the face-palms that Discord's actions will invoke upon me.
Strangely, you headcanon it's like mine
Buth, from the Nothing, came back four entity: caos and order, good and evil.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/345/a/a/discord_approved_by_ambris-d4ivln4.png
Loved the bit about the Nothing
What's Twilight so grumpy about? You'd think she'd appreciate a teacher who can employ such effective visual aids.
This actually is a pretty cool thought, that he got is own little realm of chaos inside the castle.
I mean where is he now? He just disappeared in the series, after that one episode
This is pretty much my opinion of Pinkie Pie too.
3000883
Sweet Celestia! That icon with that comment is so unbelievably perfect!