• Published 5th Aug 2013
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The Titan's Orb - Old Man Dusters



Callum lives a sad, violent life in the human world... But that is soon to change as he meet some unexpected visitors that will change his life.

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Chapter Twenty Two - Homebound


“Are we there yet?” Pinkie asked.

“Pinkie, you’ve asked that like, eight times now.” Dash moaned back.

“This isn’t as fun as the first time…” She huffed as she slumped onto a pile of suitcases.

Flights back were never as fun as the outward flight, but at least we were safe now. Getting into the flight tower with Twilight and finding a plane to Gatwick was a lot easier than the first time, the airport security in Brazil wasn’t as uptight as England’s.

“It’s a seven hour flight, we’ve only been in the air for three hours, stop asking if we’re there yet, we’re not even halfway.” Twilight grumbled to Pinkie.

“Okie dokie lokie!” She squeaked and dived into a suitcase pile.

“Do you ever wonder what humans have in these things?” Dash asked Rarity, prodding a suitcase.

“Just personal belongings I expect, nothing different from what we’d bring on holiday.” She replied.

I looked around for something interesting to do, and spotted someone’s guitar case in the corner of the cargo hold.

“I want.” I chuckled childishly.

“You want what?” Fluttershy asked curiously, who was sitting at my side.

“That…” I playfully growled as I pointed at the case.

“What’s that?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Music!” I cried out, sounding like Will from Captive Corner.

“Want me to get it for you?” Rarity offered, her horn lighting up.

“Hang on!” Dash blurted out.

We all turned to face her.

“I dare Callum to jump out the pressure bubble and get it himself.” She grinned.

“Are you high? Or just incredibly stupid? That could kill him!” Rarity scolded.

Challenge accepted!” I shouted, standing up.

“Quark! Retard alert! Retard alert!” Blu squawked.

The whole group burst into laughter at that, even Twilight couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“I was born retarded, give me a break.” I laughed.

“Callum, don’t be an idiot.” Rarity pleaded.

“I’ve never failed a dare, and I never will.” I replied before turning towards the guitar case.

{You do realise, you can’t play guitar, right…?} A Scottish voice spoke inside my head.

It was the same voice that I heard when I grabbed the orb shard, I was confused to begin with, but just shrugged it off and assumed it was my conscience speaking to me.

{I can play a few tunes…} I thought back to him.

{You’re risking your life, to play a few tunes…?}

{EEYUP!}

{You’re an idiot…}

I ignored my conscience and took a deep breath, before stepping out of the pressure bubble.
The second my head had left the bubble, my ears started ringing, my lungs felt as though they were going to explode. I breathed out very slowly and stabilised the pressure in my ears by holding my nose and then trying to breathe out. I shook my head and moved as quickly as I could to the guitar case, I didn’t look down and tripped over a suitcase and rolled over the pile next to it before finally reaching the case.
I grabbed the case and made my way back, I slid the case into the bubble before jumping back in myself.

“Dude, you have balls... Like, big balls…” Dash chuckled.

I lay on my back and let the pressure return to normal before replying.

“I don’t have big balls, I’m not as brave as I act.” I huffed.

“After all we’ve been through already? Ingeo? Crocodiles? How are you not brave?” Rarity asked.

“Girls, what I do is not bravery, it’s stupidity, I do stupid stuff and hope for the best. I barely plan a thing, I never have, heck I didn’t revise for any of my exams at school, nor have I ever assessed a situation before acting.” I grinned.

After getting no reply, I finished off with one of my favourite quotes of all time, from the film Eragon.

“I’m one part brave… Three parts fool…”

“Sounds about right.” Dashie chuckled.

“Are you okay though?” Rarity asked, looking at me like a concerned parent.

I nodded and sat up, before reaching for the guitar case. I zipped the case open and saw an absolute beauty of an acoustic guitar. The body was glossed and painted black, but the wood grain could still be seen, it was in top quality. I ran a finger over the strings to find it was in perfect tune as well, as the sweet sound rippled out from the guitar a great big grin lit up the faces of everyone around me, including myself. Even on their own, the notes sweetly caressed our ears like honey to our tongues.

“So, can you actually play one of these things?” Dash asked.

“I can play a few tunes, but nothing with any chords.” I replied.

Let’s hear them!” Fluttershy squeaked loudly.

Everyone turned to face her, and she instantly blushed a deep red and receded back into herself.

“I mean, um, could we hear you play? If, um, that’s okay with you…”

I raised an eyebrow.

I really like music…” She whispered.

We continued to stare at her for a few seconds before shaking our heads and chuckling; I picked up the guitar properly and held it to my chest before taking another stroke of the strings.
After getting comfortable, I ran my fingers down the instrument’s neck and pressed on the thinner strings at one side of the guitar, before playing a very simple version of The Living Tombstone’s ‘Nightmare night’.

“Not, bad!” Dash praised.

I played the tune for about two minutes before stopping, I looked at the ponies to see them staring in awe. Not at me, but at my hands.

“Now I see how humans have come so far without magic…” Rarity spoke, her eyes fixated on my fingers.

“How so?” I asked.

“Your hands, they’re strong, yet delicate, they can create the most intricate of things…”

“Hehe, they’re alright I guess.” I giggled, wiggling my fingers to myself.

“Another! Another!” Pinkie squeaked.

I looked at the mare and chuckled, it seemed music was the way to the hearts of all the ponies. Beside their different personalities, the one thing they had most in common was their love for music.
I tightened my grip on my guitar and moved on to the lower notes, where I performed a little tune I had made myself that involved hitting the strings at the base of the neck while I play to create a drum beat, it was a more upbeat tune. Need I say, the ponies were all impressed, even Twilight turned her head to watch me play.

“Now that’s my kinda tune!” Applejack cheered.

“A little bit of funk! A little bit of funk!” Pinkie sang, standing on her hind legs and giving a pelvic thrust on each ‘funk’.

We all stared at her, shocked and horrified.

What?” She asked innocently.

She literally had no clue that she had just done a very sexual dance.

“I’m gonna tell her.” I said dully.

“Don’t you dare!” Rarity scolded, prodding my arm.

They laughed and went over to settle Pinkie down.

“Someone’s gotta tell her…” I mumbled in disbelief.



A few tunes later, I moved to my last piece, and I had saved best until last.

“I’ve got one more for you all…” I spoke softly, closing my eyes and stroking the guitar neck.

“Is it funky?” Pinkie asked.

“No, it’s a more... Mellow, tune…” I fondly replied, giving Pinkie a warm smile.

The group all came closer into a huddle and waited with anticipation, by now Twilight had also joined the group and was waiting as well, just without such passion.
I took in a deep breath, tightened my grip on the instrument once more, before playing Space Oddity by David Bowie.

And then I began to sing…

Ground control, to Major Tom… Ground control, to Major Tom…

My eyes were closed when I started singing, but as I slowly opened them I saw the ponies staring at me intensely, their eyes round as dinner plates, and their pupils filling the majority of their eyes.
I smiled slightly and continued to sing…

Take your protein pills, and put your helmet on… Ground Control to Major Tom…
Commencing countdown, engines on…

As I hit the guitar solo I leant back and let my own passion for music take over as I combined my voice and the guitar to transform a song into an emotion.
This is Ground Control, to Major Tom…! This is Ground Control, to Major Tom…!

I sang my little heart out until I finished the song, and looked at the group shyly, to find Rarity was crying.

“Beautiful… That was absolutely… Beautiful, darling…” She sighed.

“I was not expecting that voice to come out of you…” Applejack admitted.

“Where did you learn to sing like that?” Fluttershy asked.

It was my turn to be shy, I shrugged and looked away as my blush began to show.

“I don’t know, I just taught myself over time…” I mumbled.

“Dude… Are you shy?” Rainbow Dash pointed out.

“Maybe…” I nervously giggled.

What the ponies had now learned is that I was extremely passionate about music, and was a very good singer. What they didn’t know, is that I was teased for singing at school by my jealous classmates.
At home, my family had no true passion for music and always shut me up when I sang.
There were very few friends I felt comfortable singing in front of, which were that of two girls, Annabel Knight and Jenny Hitt, along with three guys, Harry Courtney, Connor Peacock, and Aarin Zeto.
These people were once my closest friends, I hoped they didn’t miss me too much...

“Why?” Dash asked.

I shook my head and cleared my thoughts.

“What? Sorry I kinda zoned out there.” I giggled awkwardly.

“Why are you shy?”

“I just naturally get shy, I’m very nervous about singing.” I explained.

“Now that’s a side to you I didn’t foresee…” Rarity hummed.

I looked to Fluttershy to see she’d moved over so she was sitting right next to me. I couldn’t help but smile at her adorableness…

“I… I can relate to that…” She whispered.

My smile turned into a grin as I put my arm around her neck and put my hand on her shoulder.

“I noticed.” I teased.

She nervously giggled and blushed like a beetroot, which only caused me to grin even wider.

Besties!” Pinkie sang merrily as she looked at us.

The both of us laughed for a bit before Twilight joined the group properly.

“What do you want purple?” Dash grumbled.

She ignored Rainbow Dash and sat next to Applejack, before looking at me.

“The music was… Well played…” She quietly spoke, looking at the floor.

I looked at her blankly for a moment.

{Fuck my arse and call me a princess… Was that a genuine apology!?} I thought to myself.

I looked her in the eyes and saw no anger or hatred, but neither did I see real sorrow or shame. I saw fear.
She didn’t hate me… She was simply afraid of me…

“Thank you.” I replied calmly.

I looked to Rarity to see her smiling warmly.

“Isn’t it nice when everyone gets along?” She joked.

“Nah! Violence is magic!” Dash shouted and jumped into Applejack.

“Oh you asked for it!” The farm pony growled playfully.

The two of them engaged into a wrestle and rolled around the cargo hold, attempting to pin the other down and force them to submit, the rest of us laughing all the while. I looked to Twilight to find her looking at her two friends wrestle, with the corners of her lips slightly upraised…



Alright ladies! Let’s not have another repeat of last time, hold onto something!” I called.

It had been a few hours later and the plane was coming in to land, I had already latched onto a railing at the side of the hold with Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight and Pinkie. Applejack jumped over a suitcase and reached us just before the turbulence started. Rainbow Dash however, was cocky and tried to fly around and battle it.
Every negative emotion in existence hit me like a train when her raw, featherless wings splayed out, she had completely forgotten...

Shit!” She screamed as she lost her coordination and fell.

Her landing was alright, and was able to land on a soft suitcase, and then the plane landed. The entire cargo hold shook and Rainbow Dash was launched into a bigger pile of suitcase, which toppled over onto her, burying her alive.

Dashie!” Pinkie squealed.

The aeroplane eventually came to a halt and we were able to let go of the railing. I rushed over to the suitcase pile and began pulling them away, until Rainbow’s mane was visible. I pulled away a big suitcase and was able to grab hold of her hoof, and dragged her out of the pile. I lay her on her side and she rolled onto her back, moaning. The whole group circled around her and looked down at her, me included.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly.

She looked up at me, her eyes streaming with tears, her lips were trembling she was about to break down.

“Oh Dashie..." Applejack sighed.

Rainbow threw her head back and burst into a heart-breaking wail, she sobbed and sobbed; the poor girl couldn't handle this. I put my arms out and picked her up, giving her a tight hug. She buried her head into my chest and continued to wail uncontrollably.

"Company's coming." Twilight spoke.

From above us I heard movement, the passengers were getting off. I knelt down and was able to make eye contact with Rainbow Dash, her eyes were bloodshot and she was a complete mess.

"I know this is hard, but you've got to calm down for me okay? We're still in the plane, and need to escape. Do you understand?" I said softly.

She looked at me, sniffing, before giving a small nod and wiped her eyes.

"Atta girl." I whispered into her ear.

I gave her forehead a kiss and we all moved towards the cargo hold door and waited for our queue.
Soon enough, we heard the luggage carrier arrive and Twilight cast her invisibility spell, we glowed purple before disappearing completely.

“To save mana I’ve cast a weaker spell, it should last for about ten minutes.” Twilight told us.

“Right, so no fooling around girls, as soon as we get off the plane, we move quickly away from the airport.” I commanded.

Seconds later, the hatch opened and the conveyor belt protruded through the opening before lowering down to the floor of the cargo hold, a couple of men jumped down into the hold and started to put suitcases on the belt. We all moved silently towards the belt and crept past the men, one by one we hopped onto the belt and were able to exit the plane with no problems.
We jumped down off the other side and moved swiftly and silently towards the far end of the runway. Luckily the plane had landed nearby to the place we originally came from, I could even see the chain-link gate I had shoulder rammed open before, by the looks of things it had been repaired, I’d have to fix that.

“To the gate, go.” I ordered, turning to face the faint purple outlines of my friends.

Upon reaching the gate, I found the gate was brand new with shiny steel hinges; there was no shoulder ramming that could break that.

“It’s locked, and too strong to break.” I told the group when they caught up with me.

“How do we get out then?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh screw it.” Twilight grunted.

That’s when a laser beam shot from the outline of her head and hit the gate’s upper hinge, turning it red hot in mere seconds.

“So much for saving mana…” I mumbled.

The door dropped slightly, which was when I stepped forward and kicked it, snapping the padlock and causing the door to fall over, I smiled to myself and waltzed through.

“Do you know the way back?” Applejack asked as she followed me through the door frame.

“Nope, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” I replied.

She hummed and gave a small shrug, the others came through the door to join us, which was when we set off at a more relaxed pace. Twilight took point, while I walked alongside Rainbow Dash and occasionally ruffled her mane. Throughout the walk, I was able to cheer her up by talking to her about the Daring Do books.



We had walked for about an hour before we came to the River Mole, not far down the river I saw the tree I had climbed to cross the river, the branch must have snapped at some point during my time in Brazil, as it wasn’t there anymore.

“I’m not teleporting us across, I need to preserve the rest of my mana.” Twilight told us.

“How do we get across if we can’t use magic?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Can’t Rarity use magic?” I asked.

“I can’t teleport all of us, teleporting the two of us was bad enough, I had a migraine for hours on end after that.” Rarity answered.

I looked at the river, in all honesty, it wasn’t that wide, it was just out of a well-timed jump. It was very deep here though, which was a potential danger.

“What if you all spring off me?” I suggested.

“What?” Dash asked.

“Hear me out, if I were to get onto my knees and you all take a run-up, and jump from my shoulders, you’d easily get across that gap with a spring-loaded jump.” I explained.

“Darling, that’s a silly idea; you can’t possibly expect us to jump onto and use you like a trampoline!?” Rarity exclaimed.

“I’ll be fine, remember I was a heavyweight boxer, I'm literally built to take some strain, I can bench-press your weight without breaking a sweat.” I reminded her.

“That is true…” She hummed.

“How much can you bench press then?” Applejack asked teasingly, flexing her eyebrows at me.

“Sixty kilograms.” I replied.

“Hot dang…” She muttered, clearly impressed.

“I can leg-press two-hundred and forty though.” I added.

Dash and Applejack looked at me blankly.

“What?” Dash asked.

“You heard me, I can leg-press two-hundred and forty kilograms.” I repeated.

“You do realise, that’s around the weight of all six of us together?” Rarity quizzed.

I grinned.

“That’s crazy…” Applejack said, raising her eyebrows.

“How did you get them that strong?” Rarity asked curiously, prodding my legs.

“Just a lot of training,” I replied, “it’s a combination of going on daily runs, and my boxing, and for my school PE lessons I did weight training, which included lots of leg-work. Over the years they’ve just become really strong.” I explained.

“With legs like those, you could probably buck better than I do!” Applejack chuckled.

“hm, maybe… But keep in mind you have strong hooves, while I’ve got fleshy feet.” I pointed out.

Applejack hummed as she tilted her head, taking my point.

“If you all hadn’t noticed, we’re still not over this river.” Twilight said dully.

We all looked at the river, and then back to Twilight.

“Oh yeah!” I laughed.

I walked to the edge of the river and got onto my hands and knees.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Dash asked.

“Pisa-Positive!” I laughed back.

She shrugged and walked away to get a run-up, I gulped as she turned to face me and scratched the ground with her fore hoof.

{Maybe this, isn’t a good idea…} I thought to myself.

{You think?} My Scottish conscience scoffed.

It was too late to think about that now, for Dash had started sprinting towards me, she leapt into the air as she approached me and her hind hooves made contact with my back where she pushed off a second time and launched over the river with a good metre of clearance from the edge.

“Hah! It worked!” She cheered.

“Next!” I called.

One by one, the ponies all jumped across the river, using my back as a springboard, Fluttershy flew over of course, the only one left, was me.

“What about you?” Rarity asked.

“Ah, bollocks to this.” I grumbled and took a few steps back.

I gave a full sprint at the river, and jumped with all the strength my legs had, surely I'd make the jump... Right?



“So, how far away are we from your house?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Not too far now.” I grumbled, a face like thunder.

We had walked a couple of miles southwest, I walked ahead with all the ponies merrily in tow, Twilight walked by my side with a large smirk on her face.

“Laugh it up Purplesmart…” I spat.

Twilight attempted to stifle a chuckle and cleared her throat, I slowed down and let the others take over, I sped up to a normal pace when I came alongside Rarity, who levitated my shirt to me.

“I dried it as much as I could, but it’s still rather damp.” She said kindly.

She looked at me, saw my soaking wet hair, and looked away to hide her smile, I frowned before grinning myself, and shaking my head like a dog, showering her in drips of water; she squealed and ran away, to which I gave chase.

“No! Stop!”

“Get your pearly white rump back here! You need a shower!”

“No! I washed my mane this morning with a spell!”

“You missed a spot!”

Nooooo!

The two of us bolted past the rest of the group and made our way down a forest path, Rarity yelping and me growling playfully behind her. Eventually her stamina let her down and she came to a halt, turning to face me with a face of shock, I approached her and held my head forward, ready to shake my hair again.

Don’t ruin my mane! I look so pretty!” She squeaked.

I burst into tears of laughter and doubled over, unable to control my laughing fit.

“It’s not funny! It took me a good half hour to perfect!” Rarity defended herself.

At this point I was already on the ground, wailing with laughter. The others walked past me and giggled, finding the scene rather amusing. I eventually picked myself up and caught up, we weren’t far from home.



“We made it..." I sighed.

We had reached my garden fence, we were finally home again.

“Would you like me to cast the portal?” Rarity asked.

“That would be appreciated.” Twilight replied.

The white unicorn charged up her horn and created a portal through the fence to the other side, to my old back garden. One by one, we stepped forward and went through. Just as I was about to pass, the portal closed.

Really Rarity?” I moaned.

From the other side of the fence I heard Rarity giggle; I sighed and vaulted the fence like I had the first time and landed next to Pinkie, who blinked at me, and then blew a raspberry at me.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Okie dokie lokie!” She replied merrily and trotted further into my garden.

“I… Wha… What?”

“Don’t even try dude, she’s completely broken.” Rainbow Dash told me, chuckling.

I shook my head and looked at my garden, it hadn’t changed a bit.
I smiled and reminisced in the memories of playing around with Archer and Chilli…
When Archer was just a pup and was the same size as Chilli, he’d try to keep up with her and chase her, but she was always too fast. Then he got bigger, and bigger, to the point where he stood up to my abdomen and could jump fix feet high. In the early mornings he was chase deer from the land, running up to speeds of forty miles an hour.
When Chilli and I used to hide at the end of the garden in a little den I had made, I used to cook pigeons and squirrels I’d shot with my air rifle on a campfire, she had even learned to be a gun-dog and would fetch the game after I’d shot it. The memories would never leave me for as long as I should live…

“Callum… You alright?” Applejack asked, prodding me.

I shook my head and came back to Earth.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied, smiling.

I looked over to the house and a thought crossed my mind.

{What if we’re seen?}

“Right girls, keep in mind that my family might still be around, so we need to hide up at the end of the land, we won’t be found there.” I said to the group.

“You got it.” Dash replied and followed me.

I lead them up into the crowded oak orchard; there was a small garden path through the foliage that led to the old camp I made from branches and logs. When we arrived at the camp, I found it was all still intact.

“Neat camp! Did you build this?” Dashie asked me.

“Eeyup.” I replied merrily.

“That’s awesome…” She said, pointing her hoof at the wooden shelter.

“It could do with some-”

“Sprucing up… Yes, I know.” I interrupted Rarity’s criticism.

“We need to set up camp here, and then we need to find the next orb shard location.” Twilight announced.

I took out my phone and checked the time, it was midday, I also noticed my battery was on seven percent.

“It’s still early, if we find the location now you can set off today.” I told her.

“Trying to get rid of me as soon as you can?” She snorted.

“Yes.” I excitedly replied with a massive grin.

She looked at me, clearly unimpressed, but she then raised her eyebrows in merry thought.

“Well, seeing as I want to be away from you as soon as I can, it's a win, win situation.” She said with her chin upraised.

“Sounds good to me.” I replied, smiling.

With that, Twilight’s horn lit up.

“Open your phone app, I’m going to combine the enchantment and my spell together to find the shard more accurately.” She commanded.

I went to my apps and found ‘maps’.

“Ready?” I asked.

She nodded, and I tapped the app, it opened immediately and Twilight cast her spell on the phone, it began to vibrate violently to the point where it almost hurt my hand to hold it. The screen glowed a bright lavender purple and almost blinded me, I squinted at the screen to see the phone was glitching out in my hand, as if it were phasing in and out of reality.

Brawk! Bright light! Bright light!” Blu squawked.

Eventually the light went out and the phone stopped buzzing, the screen went black and wouldn’t turn on.
After a moment, the phone started up again. I tapped the screen and received a small static shock, I flinched slightly and scrolled across to my maps app and selected it.
The app loaded and showed our location in England, somehow it still worked absolutely fine. The map zoomed out and scrolled across Europe, and kept on scrolling.

“Where’s it going?” Fluttershy asked.

I kept watching as the map went past France, and Germany; it looked like it was heading towards Russia.
It suddenly stopped and zoomed in to a country on Russia’s border, it continued zooming in until it stopped on a place I knew all too well.

“Where’s that?” Dash asked.

I gulped as I recognised the place I was looking at.

“Ukraine… A place called Chernobyl...”


“So let me get this straight… The next shard is in a radioactive nuclear wasteland!?” Twilight shouted.

“I’m afraid so…” I replied.

“You two better start liking one another.” Pinkie commanded.

We both looked at her.

“Why?” We both asked in sync.

“Because you wouldn’t want to… Fall-out…” She hissed.

I put my hands in the air.

Nope. Nope. So much nope!” I ranted, storming off.

I walked away for a good five seconds before returning to Pinkie.

“Stop it!” I shouted angrily at her.

“But the fans love it…” She mumbled sadly.

What fans!?” I screamed in confusion.

“Don’t fuel the fire Callum, just let it go.” Rarity advised.

Let it goooo! Let it goooo! Can’t hold it back anym-

I grabbed Pinkie’s muzzle and held her mouth shut.

NO! Frozen is not, and will NEVER be a good movie!” I boomed.

Rarity burst into laughter and put a hoof around Pinkie and took her from me to end her confusing torture of knowing things about my world she really shouldn’t. It was then when Twilight took a few paces away from the group.

“I’ve set up a portal beacon just outside your poor attempt of a camp, I’m heading off now, expect a portal in a couple of days.” She told us.

“Hang on, what about the radioactivity?” I asked.

“I’ll use an anti-radiation spell on myself.” She replied smugly.

“What about when we arrive?” Rarity questioned, tilting her head.

“I’ll find somewhere radiation free, if I can’t find somewhere I’ll cast the spell on you all as you come through the portal.” She answered.

“Fair enough.” Rarity shrugged.

“Right, I’m off.” Twilight said, breathing out through her nose, evidently afraid.

I must admit, even for a bitch. Twilight’s self-confidence was absolutely outstanding.
Her horn lit up, and her body began to glow. She then began to levitate into the air and a loud whirring sound emitted from her. Her body grew lighter and lighter, before there was a loud crack and a flash of white light. When the light cleared, she was gone.

“Well, that was quicker than getting a stupid plane the whole way!” Rainbow Dash moaned.

“Yeah… This plan could have worked a lot better for the first shard…” I mumbled.

I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment as my original idea led us to getting captured, me getting tortured, and Rainbow Dash losing the use of her wings.

“So, what do we do while we wait?” Applejack asked.

“Sit on our rumps and be bored… There’s not much else to do…” Dash grumbled.

“What’s got you down frowny-pants?” I poked Dash’s foreleg.

“I just think it sucks that Twilight gets to go ahead and we have to wait.” She complained.

I smirked and squatted down beside her.

“Well you’re always welcome to run across Europe and join her.” I teased.

“Piss off.” She spat, sticking her tongue out.

I returned the same gesture, and she responded by jumping on me and attempting to pin me down on the ground, I grinned as I was about to show Dashie how well a heavyweight boxer could wrestle.

“You sure you want to take me on!” I growled as Dash planted her chest onto mine.

“You’re all bark and no bite boy!” She spat back.

I took hold of her right foreleg and pulled it to her left, allowing me to roll her onto her side and attempt to get on top. I was stopped however, by her tucking in her legs and bucking me square in the chest, pushing me back.

“Remember how much I squat, and then buck me again, I dare you!” I hissed as I approached her again.

“She wins wrestles in a flash, it’s Rainbow Dash!” She shouted as she head-butted my arm off her body.

“The first, and last ever poetry, from the illiterate lesbian!” I taunted.

OOOOHHHH!!!! OOOOOH!!!!! OOOHOHOHOOOO!!!!” Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack all wailed.

“Oh you asked for it buddy…” Dash growled viciously.

She rolled over and flipped me onto my side, before she kept rolling and flattened my face with her back. She then jumped up and cannon-balled onto me, causing me to grunt in pain.

“Submit!” She ordered.

“Make me!”

She tried to body slam me again, but I grabbed her hips and pushed her off me before belly flopping onto her, causing her to grunt loudly. I put my hand on her head and pressed it down, forcing her face into the ground.

“I hear you ponies like dirt sandwiches!” I laughed.

Without warning a sharp pain hit my back, I jumped and looked back to see she’d whipped me with her tail. Just as I had turned she made her move and slid out from under me and latched onto my back, she then wrapped both her forelegs around my neck in an attempt to choke-hold me into submission.

“Submit!” She hissed.

“Watch out… I like to squash ‘em!” I shouted as I fell back.

I flattened Rainbow Dash into the soft dirt and lay there with a big smile on my face, I had completely winded her and she had nowhere to move. Checkmate.

“I… Submit…” She coughed after a good ten seconds.

I grinned and rolled off her, stood up, and lent a hand to her. She groaned in pain as she took my hand and steadily got to her hooves, followed by shaking off the dirt on her coat and mane.


“Uhm… Ca… Callum…” Rarity stuttered.

I looked at her, confused, to find she was looking at something behind me.

What-up faggots!?

I turned around, and saw something I’d rather not see, or rather… Someone

My brother…

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