• Member Since 9th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 28th, 2015

Azusa


i herd u liek mudkips

T
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Bored with high school, Lyra's life changes when she's brought to Equestria and turned into a mint-green pony with a magical horn bulging out of her head. After an embarrassing incident, Bon Bon decides to help Lyra adjust to life as a pony.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )

Okay, but I feel that you rushed a bit through this. I would recommend going more in detail into her confusion/feelings at becoming a pony. Having trouble walking, slightly traumatized/confused at being transported into a new world, etc. Also I think Bon Bon should act much more skeptical about some random pony popping out of her tub saying that she's human, instead of just rolling with it like it's an everyday thing.
Good story though, good luck with future chapters, and I hope I helped.:scootangel:

That was, by far, the most interesting way to get to Equestria.... ever.

Seems a little rushed, and not detailed enough.. but I like it!

I'd love to see more fics like this, but this story sped on way too fast! There could have been more detail in just about everything. The initial meeting, Bonbon's fangirlism, Lyra's awkwardness with her new body, they can all be greatly expanded on. This could be great fic, but it needs to slow WAY down.

BR

Eeyyuupp.

I agree with Conner. This chapter could have been really interesting if you wrote descriptions and Lyra's feelings. You are rushing this fic. One second, human BOOM Pony BOOM Next day e.t.c I would recommend you get an editor/prereader because this could turn very interesting.

I will track this and see how it goes.

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH!

But seriously, I do like it.

Very likeable read.... Please keep it up.

Well... it was interesting. I'll give it that.
A bit rushed in places, but I'm guilty of doing similar rushes so I won't complain.

That is definitely a strange way to get to Equestria. But I liked it! Favoriting this.

Stay frosty my delicious friends. Silver, out! :pinkiehappy:

okay, a couple of things threw me off:

one, My Little... People? not even gonna go there.

two, I don't like how quickly it went, Bon-bon just accepts this is all happening instantly?

three, it ended

You have the same problem I do. You have an original idea, and you are so excited you rush it too much. Try and elaborate too much on the next chapter

Rushed at the opening, but the flows got much better at the end.

8.5/10 I say :twilightsheepish:

looks good so far i will keep my eye on it:raritywink:

I wanted to say this yesterday when it went up, but I lost internet. I have been waiting to read this since i saw the title on ponychan, so you already are doing a good job at keeping my attention. Let's see where this goes.:pinkiehappy:

This explains why Lyra is so crazy about humans.

488177
Or at least why the fanon tells us that.
Anyway, found this fic by random, figured I'd add to my RL list. Looks interesting.

484264 Agreed. The ponyvile we all know and love has weird stuff happen all the time. I however have a nagging suspicsion that began after twilight came.

Certainly explains her [fanon] desire to learn more about humans... interesting, I'll be reading this more.

fiiiniiish eeeeeettt



pwease:fluttershysad:

709902
Be patient. I'm working on making the first chapter good (and long) enough for EqD.

Much better! This is a great story now!

710496

Will you be writing more? This is a great story so far.

1156455
I'm planning to come back to this after I have a few completed one-shots on Equestria Daily.

1156732

Any guess on how long that will be? Sorry to seem pushy but this is like the 10th uncompleted/on hiatus story I have read that I enjoy and I am waiting for about 9 more. And yours.

1156814
I'm not sure how long, but if it makes you feel any better, the way the chapter ends now doesn't leave as much hanging.

Still doesn't explain why Lyra was in Canterlot at the beginning of season 1 episode 1 when she waved to Twilight ( took place before fanfics starting point ), nor does it explain why Lyra had her cutiemark at the time.

I like this story. I'm glad you added it to FiE. :twilightsmile:

Amusing, but there could have been a bit more done with it. Also, the romance tag doesn't really fit. Even if romance may be implied due to fandom pairing of these two, it doesn't really show in this story. It isn't a central point of the plot or anything.

I would have liked to see things slowed down a bit, and more time taken with Lyra's thoughts on the whole transition.

Bon Bon's change from initial shock/fear to begrudging acceptance is rather abrupt. I wasn't all that convinced by the Lyra walking scene.

I liked the cutie mark acquisition scene, but it too was kind of rushed.

They ain't gonna fuck on the first date.

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