• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

OneLonelyPickle


Sometimes I write stories.

E

Rainbow Dash is arguably the fastest pegasus in Ponyville, maybe even Equestria. But does that make her the best flyer in all the land?

When Maelstrom, founder of the Equestria Flyers League, comes to Ponyville to initiate his "challenge" — three days of intense races over the skies of Canterlot — Rainbow Dash is giddy to strut her stuff. But the competition is stiff, and it will take more than speed to win the day.

Meanwhile, Rarity and Applejack get embroiled in a contest of their own, Fluttershy runs into an old stallion friend, and Pinkie Pie's running around investigating the reason for her "twitchier than usual" tail. But where in the world is Princess Twilight Sparkle, and what could it possibly have to do with Maelstrom's races?

The Mane 6 begin the first of six life-changing adventures in... The Storm's Challenge!


Update (May 17, 2021): I hope to have this story done by the end of 2021, but that's just a hope. Sorry to the one person in the world who was following this... there doesn't seem to be much interest in it. Please leave a like and comment to show your love if you want this to continue!

Chapters (37)
Comments ( 29 )

I forgot to mention this before, but I could use a beta reader or two, if anyone's interested. It took me a few hours to do the editing myself last night, and while I already have a person I send my fics to, he's rather slow at replying and doesn't really critique it at all... so, yeah!

:twilightsheepish:

EDIT: Don't need an editor anymore, thanks :P

I like it between this and the Moonstone Cup, as well as keeping my own fiction up im going to have my hands full but seriously keep up the good work! I'll be tracking this and you get my thumbs up

This is freaking brilliant:pinkiehappy:

244196

Thank you! And sorry for the late reply, I've been busy lately!

280869

Thanks Armando :3

Wow, I compare this with my writing and let me just say I love the way you use a few words to get the point across.

I read your fics for tips of course, if that's allright with you. But I'm sure you wouldn't mind being a role model.:twilightsmile:

Damn it this is amazing it deserves more veiws. >.<

346174 Unfortunately, at this point, there are probably dozens of stories like this one floating around FIMFiction.net. Readers want something fresh when it comes to adventure fics. That's why I'm working on another, new idea at the moment :scootangel:

348285Good Luck on your new fic btw, Would you like to proofread one of mine? After im done that is. I'll proof read it as much as I can so you wont make too many adjustments. Cuz you know your busy with yours.:derpytongue2:

348608

Hey, it's fine. Send me a link to your Google doc and I'll take a look at it =)

349193Allrite once its done, Give me 3 days or something lol. I finished the first part and i'm about to type the rest.
I just need to take care of a few things irl. Which is why i'm not done with it. Oh you know drama. :O
Now enjoy this quote I found from a random youtube user, "Potatoe have skin, I have skin, therefore I potatoe."

And another from a freind I play Runescape with.

"A fork has three teeth, my Grandpa has three teeth, therefore my Grandpa is a fork."

Oh I can go on all day. But its nap time! :twilightsmile:

Working on maybe rewriting this. Got some spare ideas so why not?

EDIT March 2014: Changed the plot fairly significantly. But I should be getting more of it out now so, yeah :D

I was hesitant to read this partially because I'm generally not interested in fanfics like this, but mainly because this fanfic is old, so you've probably improved a lot since then. Here's what I have to say:

  • Rainbow Dash is in-character, so that's good.
  • The readers probably already know what Fluttershy looks like, so you don't need to describe her.
  • Calling Rainbow's coat "turquoise flesh" sounds weird.
  • Why do the guards have X-ray vision?
  • The spoilered-out comment is just distracting.

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It was updated in 2014 or 2015 I believe, but yeah, it is pretty old. I am working on continuing it now.

The guards don't really have x-ray vision. I didn't realize that it might be construed that way, haha. Might have to take a look at that part.

Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it :twilightsmile: If you could read all of the chapters and give me your opinion, that would be super.

EDIT: The word I used was x-ray-like :)

How many chapters long will this story be?

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Hmm, tough to say. I want to say no more than 50 though, with each chapter being on average around 2,500 words or so.

How do you like the story? I have a lot of fun writing it, that's for sure :twilightsmile:

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I haven't read it yet. I'm waiting until it's closer to completion. If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

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I hope I did a good job at presenting everypony's accent (for those OCs who do have one). But since you asked, here is what the main OCs would sound like and what the accents are supposed to be:

Maelstrom - Generic American accent, but maybe something like a George Clooney kind of voice
Zephyr - Similar to above, but younger voice. Maybe Tom Holland-like
Ms. VeeVee - Thick German accent. Like Angela Merkel but thicker (not a goofy accent like Photo Finish from the show, a serious one, just thick)
Boozebeard - Thick Scottish accent. Billy Connelly-type voice.
Slapshot - Stereotypical Canadian accent, similar to Snails.

I think that's all the main OCs unless I am forgetting anypony.

Well I hope you will pick this up soon :) Getting really close to the halfway mark and I am thinking of upgrading the release schedule so it's "new chapter AT LEAST every Thursday and Sunday plus sporadic updates any other day if I manage to write a new chapter". Maybe then the story would be done before August.

Pfft, interesting decision to make Twilight hate milk.

Dash's excitement in the beginning of the chapter was adorable, and just what I needed today.

10658580
Lol yeah idk why but for some reason I thought that would make the scene more interesting.

I am sure her hatred of milk shall return in some form or another, one day!

10658590
Glad to hear it! If I can brighten up just one person's day than the entire story is worth it :)

So I assume this Zephyr was created before Flutter Brutter brought in Zephyr Breeze?

10661510
Yeah I thought there was an Author Note on one of the chapter's explaining that. Maybe I removed it.

The character Zephyr is named that for a reason so, well, I wasn't going to change it (plus technically my Zephyr came first). You'll figure it out as the story goes along, I am sure.

Eh... not sure how I feel about the SoarinFire subplot, but only because I'm a hardcore SoarinDash shipper.

The big question I have is if Maelstrom will be defeated with whatever his plan is in this story, or if it's going to span multiple stories in this series.
I know the answer is probably a spoiler, but I had to get that out there.

10666566
Hmm, yeah, I can't reveal that.

But I think the story will have a satisfying ending nonetheless :)

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