I write terrible fan fiction and I'm generally a terrible person; you only think I'm joking...
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Pinkie Pie is having a good day; the sun is shining and the skies are clear. Why, then, does she feel like something is wrong?
Partly inspired by the works of Philip K. Dick and edited by the illustrious SpaceCommie.
Now with the approval of Twilight's Library!
[img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png[/img]
Celestia's in on it too!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wait, I don't get it, can someone tell me what just happened?
2990687
Nothing is as it seems, everything is a lie.
2990749
*Head explodes*. Also, I neglected to mention that this is pretty darn good :3
2990855
Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoyed it
2990860
My pleasure~
So what'll it be, pinkie?
the blue pill or the red pill?
2994273
Pinkie would take both.
Wow, kept me interested the whole time, trying to figure out what was wrong. Then
the plot twist happened. I really enjoyed this.
Only one error I noticed,
"Was" does not need to be capitalized, its part of the sentence.
2996759
Thanks for the review and the favourite, mate, I'll go change that now.
This story is weird but very well written. I really liked it!
2997086
Thank you!
I was entranced by the story all the way through. Also I found an error. Mr. Cake and I not Mr. Cake and me.
2998625
I'm glad you enjoyed the story, also, about the error; to me it didn't really fit with Mrs. Cake's speech pattern to use 'I'. However, I'll change it anyway if people are bothered by it.
Well this was really good but I thought it was going to be a reference to "Do androids dream of electric sheep" and you got my hopes up.
I would be interested in doing a reading of this, you can find some of my other work here. Reply if you would be interested in me doing it.
2999505
That would be great, thanks, and sorry for getting your hopes up.
2999513 Thats ok, I'll get to it as soon as I've got a bunch of silent time.
Thanks for letting me do though I'm trying to get lots of practice
2999553
that is all
Wait, so, in her dream, is she the ruler or something. Or what about the last part with thee black room and stuff. this was really confuzing
3001249
It was meant to be confusing, but was it a dream? Or is her 'reality' a dream itself?
3001254 it all matters on your definition of reality
3001331
What is reality? My perception of reality could be vastly different to your own, and there would be no way of knowing what another perceives. Reality is subjective.
3001342 I don't know how to respond to that
3001372
My opinions tend to do that, do not concern yourself with it.
3001380 Um, okay
3001622
Did you like it, regardless of its strange content?
3001627 Yeah, it had me hooked the entire time
3001712
Thanks
3000628 I am very confused by your use of the spike emoticon
An interesting story with nice word use. I look forward to reading more of your works.
3175891
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Figured I'd come browse this for you real quick. Stopped at the first breakline. It's not something I'd probably downvote for, but I'm not bothering to read very far either.
What I notice here is that you're heavily over-using adjectives and adverbs, and to no apparent story purpose. The prose meanders a lot, and at least in that first section, there's nothing to catch my attention. Very little happens. Pinkie arrives at the shop and takes over, which isn't exactly exciting work, but you spend nine paragraphs getting there. If you don't give me something to hook my attention at the start of your story—some excitement, some action, some humor, interesting prose, etc—I'm likely to move on. And you're making it all the way to a section break without doing anything to make me care where you're going.
The first thing I'd probably work on here is tightening up the prose and structure so you're not wasting so many of your words on description that really doesn't bear on the plot or themes, and so the story isn't meandering so badly. It's an old writing adage that you should start a story as close as you can get to where it ends, so you don't waste reader time on bits they really don't need to know.
No idea if you find that helpful or not, but that's my quick reaction to a brief look at this piece. I'm assuming it's the one you'd been talking about elsewhere, since it looked like your other stories were downvote-free.
3223362
Oh, thank you for the comment; I'm glad you took the time to at least tell me what's wrong with it
3223363
Please, though, if you're interested in resubmitting (or generally in improving your writing), try getting someone to look at this on /fic/ or in a Fimfiction group like The Proofreading Group. They're going to do a lot more to help than I'm doing in looking at the first nine paragraphs. I can give you some quick ideas, but beyond the little bit I had to say, I can't tell you how the whole thing is fitting together here.
I fully stand behind my compatriot's decisions (though I haven't looked at them explicitly as it concerns this) and his/her right to provide very limited feedback, but I'm always happier when people come away not feeling bad about the experience.
3223395
I know that he had no obligation to provide clarification for his decision when I asked for it, but it left me feeling less than stellar. I'm glad that you have cleared up any misgivings I had, thank you once again.
3223417 You sir, have a twisted mind.
3271881
Thank you, but why do you think so?
3271889 I love the story, but, that's a lot to interpret
. I'm going to be up all night trying to figure this thing out 
Great Story Though!
I dare say this is high on my competition placement so far 
3271908
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it
Hey, Slip, just wanted to stop by and say that this is pretty wonderful.
What I mean when I say that, is that it took me for a bit of a roller-coaster ride.
At first, I was like: "This story is terrible, because it has way too fast pacing, and I have no idea what is going on."
Then I was like: "This story is awesome, because it has really fast pacing, and I have no idea what is going on."
The way you did minimal descriptions and fast scene transition(though it may have been unintentional, I don't know) makes the story feel really fast paced. It kind of grabs you and whisks you away, feeding you information that you have no time to process until you are actually done reading it, which I liked!
And then there were all these little things that you did with sentences that made the story interesting to read. I kind of went through and collected a few that I liked:
I would believe this sentence to be true, based upon the actions following it.
Gah, of all the ponies that could have contracted pink-eye, why did it have to be Pinkie Pie... Oh wait, that actually makes a good amount of sense.
I don't know why I like this one, I just feels that it speaks something about the entire story in general.
So, at this point I imagine Pinks has turned into some version of herself that looks very different from her normal self, and that that is what is disgusting ponies. Most likely a disgusting, scary or creepy version of herself. Maybe she aged with her room and she is now empty skin hanging from bones. Or it could just be because she is royalty, the story doesn't specify, and this was actually also one of the things that you can dislike and like about this story at the same time. It kind of leaves you hanging
Dude... uh, or dudette, there is really no way for me to tell. That was pretty grim
Probably how I would feel if I had lived in a matrix tank all my life.
So, yea. Really long comment, I apologize
. Bottom line is that the story had a lot of passion, and I feel like passion deserves to be rewarded every once in a while, so there you go
There were still a few issues in the story, mostly clarification issues, and problems with overuse of redundant adjectives, but that isn't really my job, that is for a proofreaders to take care of.
3405281
Thanks for the comment and the like mate, yeah it was supposed to be fast paced and kind of confusing; I didn't think it would really work if I spread it out too much. I'm glad you enjoyed it
(oh, and I'm a guy).
I read your story, and now I love you
3557002
Thanks! And thanks for the fave and the watch
Clever title. A reference to Do Androids Dream Electric Sheep. Bravo sir.
3566248
...........................Pinkie and the rest are captured by aliens
I'll get my shotgun 
Pinkie's in the Matrix!
3707261
Heh, kinda
3573282
Shotguns are useless; they will consume all
Oh yeah, I edited this.
Hi, Slip!