The Thessalonica Legacy

by Dashukta

Pinkie Pie's Welcome to Equestria Picnic

The Thessalonica Legacy
Chapter 9: Pinkie Pie’s Welcome to Equestia Picnic

The night was clear, perfect for stargazing. The waxing gibbous moon hung high in the starry sky, its silvery face marred by dark mares. Twilight set up her telescope beside the holly bush at the crest of the hill, her horn glowing faintly in the darkness.

Ramirez flicked on the safety on his laser pistol. Spike and Rainbow Dash had begged to see the “ray gun” in action. Not wanting to draw undue attention from gunshots, or waste precious ammunition for the visually impressive Federated Long Rifles, Ramirez had finally acquiesced to show them the laser pistol. They had been initially disappointed the weapon was nearly silent and didn’t project a visible beam, but watching the empty ration packets, piles of dry leaves, and any other disposable objects they could get their claws or hooves on flare, melt, or burn had kept them delightfully entertained. Even Pinkie Pie had gotten in on the act, helping to stamp out the small fires when they didn’t immediately go out.

“I still don’t get this whole magic thing,” he said, “Is it some sort of technology you’re using to manipulate things remotely, or…”

“No,” Twilight replied, “no technology. It’s entirely unaided.” She was growing more tolerant of Ramirez’s skepticism. She had been thinking about Pinkie Pie and her pinkie-sense. That was something she didn’t believe existed when first confronted with it. Even still she couldn’t completely explain it. She had decided to be tolerant of the humans’ initial disbelief.

“Think of it like this. Magic infuses everything in the world. Ponies are able to tap into that magic and control it to alter reality.” She began aligning the telescope with the moon.

“So that’s how pegasi are able to push clouds around?”

“Yes. Every pony has some innate magical ability. Pegasi and earth ponies use theirs passively, but unicorns like me can use our horns to manipulate magical fields directly.”

Ramirez furrowed his brow, “That still sounds too out-there supernatural to me.”

“Well, you have science where you come from. Just think of it as a branch of science like physics or chemistry. Only it’s an aspect of the universe you haven’t been able to observe before.”

Her explanation wasn’t sufficient to Ramirez’s mind, but he decided to let it go. He could see the effects of Twilight’s magic clear enough. Whether it was the result of some mystical force or some hyper-advanced technology that would put the Star League and the Clans to shame, he would sort it out later. He decided to just accept the existence of magic as a conditional given and move on.

Twilight turned to her telescope, “OK, so where’s this spaceship of yours?”

All the crowd on the hill—human, dragon, and pony—drew close. Only Fluttershy had not stayed, citing that she needed to get back and check on a blue jay with a cough. Ramirez deferred to Liz. This was her gamble, so he decided to let her handle it.

“Train your telescope on the edge of the moon near the equator. The ship is pretty small, but they should have their sail out, which is a bit bigger. Watch for a small speck moving fast from one side to the other. Its orbiting once about every two hours,” she checked a chronometer attached to her combat vest, “I think they should be passing by soon.”

Twilight peered through her telescope and made some fine adjustments. Liz stepped back to Ramirez and cursed under her breath

“I completely forgot about the size of the ship. Unless that’s one hell of a telescope, there’s no way she’d spot it at this range,” she whispered.

Barely a minute passed before Twilight looked up from the eyepiece. She looked thoughtfully at the sky.

“Hmm, maybe if I…” she grunted with effort as light burst forth from her horn. A rustle of wind swept up from the valley. Ramirez and Liz looked on in amazement as the moon seemed to grow larger in the sky.

Twilight went back to the eyepiece, “Ah, that’s better.” She adjusted the aim, “Is the sail supposed to look like a parachute?”

“Um, yeah.” Liz silently mouthed to Ramirez, “How in the hell?”

“Then it looks like you were telling the truth. You really do have a spaceship orbiting the moon.” She stepped aside to let the others see, “I’m… I’m totally blown away by this. I didn’t think it possible.”

“Frankly I’m still having trouble believing it myself.” Ramirez peered through the eyepiece. Sure enough, there silhouetted against the whitish-grey of the moon was the curve of the solar sail. It was still small in the view, but it was obviously not of the moon, and it was moving. “How did you do this?”

“Hmm? Oh, uh. Atmospheric lensing spell. It’s pretty advanced, and honestly not that useful for astronomical observation. It tends to distort around the edges and…” Twilight replied absentmindedly “But, listen to me. I’m talking to real, live aliens and I’m just carrying on. Oh, I have so many questions! How did your ship get here? How did you get from your ship to here?”

“Oh, you Silly McSilly-son. They’ll be plenty of time for questions at the Welcome to Equestria Party tomorrow!” Pinkie Pie interrupted, “Oh it will be great! We’ll have cake, and pies, and we’ll play games, and we’ll all shout ‘Welcome to Equestria!’ And I’ve even got a song in the works!”

“Oh, here we go again.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

“Pinkie…” Twilight tried to interject, but the party pony had already launched into her song.

“Oh, welcome visitors from far away!
We all welcome you here today!
So let us all dance and play,
As we…”

“Pinkie!” Twilight finally managed to interrupt, “I’m sorry, but no. No parties.”

“Aw, why not?” confusion and disappointment played on her face.

“Because I don’t want to start a panic in Ponyville. In fact, it would be better if none of us mentioned this to anypony else for the time being.”

“Twilight’s right,” Ramirez added, “we should keep a low profile. At least until our ranking officer arrives and we contact your central government.”

“Okey-dokey-lokie,” Pinkie replied, crestfallen. She was so looking forward to a party.

****************

“My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,

I must confess your letter quite vexes me. I was worried such an event would occur following your report of the wandering light first observed nearly five and a half centuries ago. The speed and proximity to Ponyville has me worried.
My dear Twilight, I must stress the importance on minimizing the humans’ interaction with pony society at large. If at all possible, do not let them enter the town. Finding a secure, indoor location to hide them would be even better. I would suggest your home in the library as ideal, if not for its centralized location within Ponyville. You will have to use your own judgment.
I will not warn you against contact with these humans. I know you are curious by nature and in fact, I encourage you to learn as much about them and their society as possible. You very well may find it an enlightening experience. But, please, exercise caution. The danger of these creatures cannot be overstated.
I apologize for being brief, but I promise all shall be explained in due time. I am tied up in state functions, but will venture to Ponyville as soon as I possibly can. Please do me the honor of acting as my official ambassador until that time.

Your mentor,
Princess Celestia”

Spike yawned as he finished reading the letter. He was still grumpy Twilight had woken him up so early. Why couldn’t she have remembered to send the note to the Princess last night, and not when the sun had risen?

“Wait, read that first paragraph again.” Twilight closed her eyes tight, thinking. Spike groaned but obeyed. Twilight’s ears perked up and her eyes shone bright, “The Visitation of Thessalonica!” she shouted.

“Oh, not this again.”

“Don’t you see, Spike? ‘I was worried such an event would occur following your report of the wandering light’,” she repeated, “Somehow the wandering light in the sky is related to the arrival of the aliens. Don’t you see what this means?”

“All I see is my blankie. Hello, blankie,” mumbled Spike, trying to curl up in his bed. Twilight gently nudged him out of it with her hoof.

“It means,” she said conspiratorially, “they’ve been here before.”

Spike resisted the nudging and clung tenaciously to his pillow. Twilight picked up the dropped letter and read it again.

“Oh my,” she read the first paragraph for a third time, “…first observed nearly five and a half centuries ago… But that could coincide with… Oh, dear.”

****************

“Sweetie Belle, put that down!” Rarity’s little sister was trying to ‘help’ again. Rarity’s horn glowed as she plucked the bolt of fabric from the little filly. “Now, you’re late for school. Get your saddlebags, and don’t forget your scarf. Rainbow Dash said it was going to be chilly today.”

Sweetie Belle looked up at her big sister with big, pale green eyes, “But Scootaloo is out of town with her parents, and Apple Bloom got grounded for trying to use Granny Smith’s walker for a giant slingshot and beaning Caramel in the head with an apple. How else am I supposed to find my cutie mark without the rest of the Crusaders?”

“Well, maybe you’ll find it at school,” Rarity tied a silk scarf around her little sister’s neck and kissed the top of her head. “If you don’t hurry, you’re going to be late. Now, shoo!” she playfully swatted the little filly out the door.

Sweetie Belle scampered off down the lane, calling out a greeting to Pinkie Pie as she passed.

“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?” called Rarity. The pink pony was trotting along with a punchbowl holding an assortment of empty glasses balanced on her head, party hats hanging from their elastic bands around her ears, her saddlebags filled to bursting with more party paraphernalia than Rarity cared to guess.

“Oh, hey, Rarity! I was just on my way to see if you had any streamers. Gummy likes to use them as bedding, so I’m all out.”

“Streamers?” Rarity repeated, only half-hearing. She was more enthralled by an enormous bundle of helium balloons tied around Pinkie’s midsection which almost seemed to be lifting her partially off the ground.

“Yeah! I need ‘em for the welcome picnic for the aliens! Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

“Aliens?” Rarity balked, “Why darling, I do believe you’ve cracked.”

“Nuh-uh. Dashie and Fluttershy found ‘em on the edge of the Everfree Forest. Even Twilight says they really truly are from another world way, way, way far away!”

“Did she now?” Rarity gave a smile bordering on the baleful, “Now this I’ve got to see.”

“Uh huh. She also said no parties, but I think she meant no BIG parties where everyone comes because she wants to keep them secret. But I figure that doesn’t mean no little parties. You know, just for those who’ve already met the aliens.”

“So tell me, Pinkie, where are these, ahem, so-called aliens?”

****************

Fluttershy met Applejack at her little garden gate. The orange workhorse had hitched herself to a wooden cart loaded down with apples and a variety of baked goods, most of them also apple-based.

“There ya’ go, Fluttershy, just as ya’ wanted.” She unhitched herself from the wagon, “Heh. Last time ya’ ordered this much food from me, it was on account of them dern parasprite pests. What ‘cha want this lot for?”

Fluttershy pawed at the ground with a hoof and didn’t meet Applejack’s gaze, “Well, it’s not really for me. Not really. It’s just that, well… They’ve been so nice, and… their food smells just awful, and I just wanted to do something… nice. To welcome them. So, um…”

“What in the hay are you talkin’ about girl? Whose food smells what now?”

Fluttershy looked startled and blushed, “Oh! Oh, I.. I’m really not supposed to say. It’s… sort of a secret.”

A big grin spread across Applejack’s face, “Oh, I get ‘cha,” She nudged Fluttershy with a teasing elbow, “So, ah, who’s the lucky colt then, huh?”

Fluttershy’s pale yellow face turned bright scarlet, “Oh, no! It’s nothing like that! Not at all!”

“Some new animal friend, then?” she looked askance at her friend, “Ain’t nothin’ gonna’ cause no trouble, is it?”

“Well, sort of. I mean, no? Um.”

“Maybe ya’ had better show me.”

****************

The bags under Captain Edgar Tartaglia’s eyes were wide and purple. He had barely slept, what with the early morning drive through the forest and especially the troubling news from the Silvertongue. He had spent hours going through every person on the Felicity Klimkosky in his mind, trying to think of anything suspicious. He knew who the saboteur couldn’t be. He didn’t want to believe it could be one of his crew, but none of them were above suspicion.

He would have ordered a surprise inspection and search of the entire ship, as well as questioning of all crew and passengers, but he couldn’t possibly while away from the ship. It would have to wait until he got back. Maybe then he could have Leftenant Ling and Sargent Ramirez help in the investigations. They both had himself as an alibi, and both had a vested interest in seeing their mission completed.

He hated having to wait. All it would do would give the villain time to eliminate evidence or slip away entirely. But right now, repairs to the Silvertongue came first. Without an operational K-F drive, there was no chance of ever completing their mission. No chance of ever returning home.

“The rendezvous point is just ahead, sir. Top of that hill, next to that bush.” Ramirez pointed between the trees.

They were six-strong now. The lanky Tartaglia, the gruff Ling, and the fiery-haired Dr. Langley were all clad in their olive green dress uniforms. The doctor had topped hers with her ever-present long, white lab coat. Ramirez and Liz Virat still wore their battledress, though they had removed their helmets and combat vests. The sixth member of their party, a short, stocky, pugnacious Private by the name of Ackermann brought up the rear. He had served as Ling’s aide during the scouting operations and driver during their foray into the woods to meet up with Ramirez and Virat, and had been uncharacteristically taciturn of late.

As they walked, Ramirez and Liz tried to brief them on the society they had found. Tartaglia found the tale fantastic, and not in the least believable. The thought that these two professional soldiers were somehow pulling one over on him made his mood even more sour.

****************

Twilight found that Pinkie Pie already had the picnic blanket set up before she returned to the hill. She was dismayed to see Rarity there as well, trying to coax Rainbow Dash to let her comb her mane. This was getting out of hoof.

“I thought I said no parties,” she hissed.

“It’s not a party, it’s a picnic, silly,” pronounced Pinkie Pie from where she was pouring a fruity purple punch into the bowl.

“And the streamers and balloons on the holly bush?”

Pinkie pranced past with her head held high, “Gives it a little bit of pizazz, dontcha’ think?”

Twilight closed her eyes and counted silently to herself. It was bad enough Pinkie Pie had brought Rarity along. “Can we at least try to be subtle?” she asked nopony in particular.

“Well, boy-howdy! Ya’ didn’t tell me there was a whole party goin’ on here!”

Twilight turned to the new voice. She found herself facing a blushing Fluttershy standing next to an all-smiles Applejack hitched to a small cart full of food. “Oh, for goodness sakes,” she groaned, “Can’t anypony here keep a secret?”

“So where’s this new critter friend Fluttershy’s got?” Applejack unhitched and looked around, “It ain’t another one of them parasprite things, is it?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Rarity added haughtily, “Rainbow and Fluttershy found a space alien.”

Applejack’s face went white. She tried to speak, tried to come up with an excuse to leave, but her tongue failed her. All she could do was stammer.

Rarity just smiled slyly, “Oh come now, you don’t really think they found a space alien, do you?” she laughed.

“We really did find an alien! Two of them, in fact,” Rainbow protested, “They’re really cool, and… Hey? Where are Ramirez and Liz, anyway?”

For an awful moment, Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. Had they gone? Had they returned to their spaceship above the moon? She hoped they hadn’t wandered into Ponyville—the one thing Princess Celestia had warned her not to let happen.

“There they are!” Pinkie pointed to the edge of the woods where a small group of tall creatures was stepping into the sunlight, “Huh. Weren’t they just two before?”

Twilight felt very nervous. She could guess the lead two were the two she was familiar with, but they had been joined by four more humans. She could see them more clearly as they grew closer. She could recognize Liz’s sable skin and Ramirez’s ponytail, and they were indeed in the lead. A tall, thin male with a bald head and bushy pale yellow mustache walked next to a female (judging from Liz and Ramirez’s descriptions of sexual dimorphism in their species) with a wild flame-red mane and a long, white coat and an immense male with huge arms and broad shoulders. A shorter, stouter male with a helmet and strange goggles that covered his eyes slunk behind. She felt a lump form in her throat. Two humans she thought she could probably deal with, but six?

Applejack stood rooted to the ground. She barely moved; she barely breathed. She willed her muscles to move, but they stubbornly refused. She hadn’t told anypony, but after Rainbow Dash and Spike had told her about stories of alien abductions, she had nightmares about being snatched away by aliens in a spaceship. She had consoled herself that aliens weren’t real, that they couldn’t possibly be in Equestria. To see those tall, slender things walk out of the forest was like watching her nightmare come to life. She could feel the icy talons of panic clawing at her chest. How could her friends be so calm? Rainbow and Pinkie looked positively ecstatic, even. Only Twilight looked the least bit nervous.

****************

“You mean to tell me you wear clothes all the time?” Rarity shook her head in disbelief.

“Pretty much.” Dr. Langley was sitting on the ground, drinking punch from a small glass in one hand and nibbling from an apple fritter in the other.

“My, my. One would think your fashion industry would be spectacular, what with the demand. But why do you all wear such drab colors? I’ll admit your outfit and the two, um, officers you called them? Your clothes are well-cut allowing for your, uh, unusual body shapes, I suppose. But they all look the same! And I must say, they’re not the most flattering. And don’t even get me started on those three,” she waved a hoof towards the three enlisted men in their camouflage, “The style is atrocious, and the pattern much too busy. If they were to stand next to a tree, you’d hardly even see them!”

Langley chuckled, “That’s sort of the point.”

Twilight was more concerned with how the doctor was holding her punch glass. She had one long finger slipped through the loop on the side and was casually and easily lifting it to her lips. For some reason, it just looked so natural, almost like the glass was specifically designed with her anatomy in mind. Even when one of the humans refilled their glass with the ladle, they did so easily by gripping the long handle—a term that was taking on new meaning to the lavender unicorn.

“You should have seen Liz writing earlier,” Fluttershy whispered in her ear, noticing the look on her face, “she was pinching the pencil—at least it looked sort of like a pencil—between her fingers. She wrote by just wiggling them.”

Twilight just nodded in acknowledgement. She found herself wondering how they would use a hammer.

Ling had originally not wanted to believe that they had stumbled upon an extraterrestrial civilization, but had come to grips admirably quick once Twilight cast her translation spell and he found they could talk. He moved away from the group, motioning for Ramirez and Tartaglia to follow.

“We’re wasting our time,” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down. “While we’re sitting here playing picnic with a bunch of pretty ponies, the Silvertongue’s still sitting up there with a busted K-F drive, the Capellans are running rampant over Valexa, and we still don’t know where we are.”

“I agree,” said Tartaglia. He turned to Ramirez, “I don’t see what purpose this serves. Yes, they’re very cute and quite smart, and very talkative, I’ll give you that. But I don’t see how they can help us. Do they even have any heavy industry?”

“I don’t think so. They’re more of an early-industrial agrarian society. Still, they can do quite a lot with what little technology they’ve got. And besides,” he pointed at the balloons Pinkie Pie had brought, “I think they might just have something we do need.”

“But how do we get it?” Ling crossed his arms, “Bring out the BattleMech and scare them into submission? We do hold the technological advantage.”

Captain Tartaglia patted the muscular man on the back, “Are you groundpounders always so violent? We could always try diplomacy. Maybe trade some supplies or offer some low technology as compensation, like an internal combustion engine or something.”

Twilight politely coughed to get their attention, “Excuse me, sirs?” Tartaglia had a moment of panic they had been overheard. If they were going to attempt to bargain for what they needed, he didn’t want to give away any of his hand early. But the little unicorn made no indication she had heard a word they had said.

“Excuse me,” she started, “But I do seem to have sort of a dilemma. You see, as Princess Celestia’s official ambassador to you and your people, I wish to extend our hospitality to our esteemed visitors.”

Tartaglia felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Now was when he expected their hosts to impart conditions.

Twilight continued, “I would normally offer my library as a suitable location to house official state visitors, but, um. You see, uh.” She had been rehearsing this little speech in her head since that morning, “Well, the ponies of Ponyville have never encountered any of your kind before, and I fear if they saw you it might cause a panic, and…”

“So you want our help in sneaking us into town?” Tartaglia knew this was a ploy to contain their movements, but somehow he couldn’t fathom any maliciousness from these innocent little creatures. “I think we can manage that.”

Ling turned away from Twilight and whispered harshly in Tartaglia’s ear, “Sir, with all due respect, I don’t like this.”

Tartaglia whispered back, “I think we can afford to play along for now, Dieter.” His next words were directed to Twilight, “I take it you have a plan?”

****************

The plan the ponies devised was unnecessarily complex. It was clear to the military-minded humans they had precious little experience planning what would be considered a covert operation. So while the athletic Rainbow Dash performed an impromptu airshow on the opposite edge of town, with the excitable Pinkie Pie acting the roll of a carnival barker, the others slipped in from the opposite side. Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy and now largely recovered Applejack each towed a wooden cart scrounged from Sweet Apple Acres or Fluttershy’s little cottage. Each cart was draped with fabric to hide the cargo within. Spike stood as tall as he could on top of the lead cart, acting as lookout. Following them, ducking from shadow to shadow, the two humans most experienced with stealth, Liz and Ackermann, tried their best to stay out of sight.

The road past the Library was empty except for them. In the distance they could hear cheering. Rainbow Dash must have been putting on one heck of a show. They stashed the carts beside the enormous tree and the four remaining humans slipped out from beneath the fabric covers. They wanted to stop and gawk at the quaint little town, but with a furtive glance around them, Twilight quickly herded them in through the red door. One by one the humans ducked through the entryway followed quickly by the ponies. Twilight locked the door tightly behind her then led the way from the foyer into the library proper.

“Ah, wonderful. I knew you would find a way to slip in unnoticed. And in broad daylight, too! Very admirable, indeed.”

Eyes went wide and jaws dropped open. Standing in the center of the library was the very vision of grace and beauty. A pony, certainly, but very different than the humans had encountered thus far. She stood tall and slender, easily able to look any of them in the eye. She was almost blindingly white offset by the burnished and jeweled ceremonial regalia on her chest and forelegs. Broad, feathered wings were held aloft and the long, elegant horn on her forehead sparkled faintly. Her mane and tail didn’t appear to be so much hair, as light; a shimmering, sparkling pastel rainbow which flowed and billowed even though there was no wind. She almost seemed to be radiating a light all her own.

Her countenance and bearing radiated a confidence and authority none of the humans had ever seen before, not even in the most powerful and seasoned leaders. Bright, piercing eyes of a soft pink perfectly accenting her billowing mane seemed to peer through them, into their very souls. This was a powerful creature indeed, in every sense of the word.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight called in disbelief. She was torn on whether to run to her beloved mentor or burst into tears.

From behind the magnificent vision stepped another pony. She was smaller than the regal beauty, but still taller than the others. Her deep indigo coat was complemented by a deep purple breastplate and a lighter blue mane, from behind which jewel-green eyes looked out curiously.

“And Princess Luna?” Twilight was now quite flustered, “But, why? How?”

Princess Celestia smiled sweetly at her pupil, “I wrote that I would be arriving as soon as I could. And you’ll find that very few doors are closed to the Princesses of Equestria. But now,” her eyes flashed to the sextet of humans, “I believe we have other matters to attend to.”

Comments

[Bronzer]

Whether it was the result of some mystical force or some hyper-advanced technology that would put the Star League and the Clans to shame

Most likely, their bodies may be attuned to hyperspace and channel its reality bending powers.

I didn’t think it possible.

Which is why we (I'm assuming) had to spoon-feed you knowledge and in six hundred years you have done diddly-squat with it. Your kind is extremely limited in creativity and imagination. At least, in this fic, that is.

Finding a secure, indoor location to hide them would be even better.

You mean move them out of the spooky forest everyone stays the hell away from and put them into an easily compromised position in the town you want them to stay out of? I can totally see how you became ruler.

I will not warn you against contact with these humans.

Then why are you telling her to learn about them? Make up your mind already!

The danger of these creatures cannot be overstated.

Awww, I'm blushing!