• Published 7th Aug 2013
  • 9,489 Views, 247 Comments

Discord's Helping Hoof - The Wizard of Words



Ill-content with his life in Ponyville, Discord looks for a way to aleve his growing sense of boredom. Believing his is sincere, Fluttershy suggests helping ponies in ways only he can. And Discord has such a unique way to help ponies in need...

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They're Going To Need A Bigger Town...

If there was ever a place for ponies to be themselves, it was Ponyville.

Ponies who dreamed of dressing royalty were designing outfits for the elite. Farmers who felt a special kind of happiness when they gave their food to others were working their fields. Weather pegasi flew and zipped through the air, beating condensing clouds before they could take form or moving them to stalls that needed shade. Every pony had a job, and they each loved their job. Even far outside the collective homes of Ponyville, there were ponies that used their talents to their fullest capabilities.

Fluttershy, the timid and kind canary pegasus, floated and fluttered through the air as she cared for the animals around her home. From the squirrels nestled in their trees to the cats and dogs rolling through the grass, she took care of all of them. She gave them food, water, a home, and more love than almost any other pony in Equestria could ever give. Doing that gave her joy. But more than anything else, Fluttershy loved helping the animals that were misunderstood by others.

Inside the home of the cautious pegasus was one such creature. A life that had been thought of as monstrous by nearly all until she took him under her gentle wing. Over the course of a week, she had reformed him to do good, not evil. Now, in the following months, she was tasked with an even more difficult endeavor. To keep him that way.

There was, however, a snag.

“I’m bored.”

The announcement was as shocking as seeing the sky was blue.

The words dribbled from Discord’s lips as he flicked his paw through the air, waving at objects sitting across from him in the room. With every flick of his wrist, a piece of furniture changed.

“Bored,” the table grew a tail and began to bark.

“Bored,” the chairs lost two legs and began to dance.

“Bored,” the chandelier shrunk into a crystal ball and began to spin.

“Bored,” a piece of lettuce flew through the air and- wait.

The draconequus vanished in a flash of light, the vegetable sailing past where he once was and hitting the far wall. It slumped to the ground with a dull thud. Discord flashed back into existence standing over the green food with a curious look on his face.

“I don’t remember improving you,” He spoke to himself, claw scratching through his goatee as he spoke. “And I’d remember telling a pile of lettuce to fly. I would have given you parrot wings and beak, so that you could eat other lettuce! The funny kind of cannibalism! But if I didn’t tell you to fly then…” His voice trailed off has he looked across the room, past the dancing and barking furniture. His miss-sized eyes fell on a small ball of white fur. It was glaring at him viciously with a metal ladle in one of its small paws.

“Aw wittle Angel wants to play with me.” Discord chuckled as he eyed the rabbit, his smile growing broader as the bunny's scowl deepened. “Do you want to play catch? It is a fun game, but we can do better than a ball of healthy greens.” As he did with all his magic, Discord snapped his claw, popping into existence a new object to play with.

Angel’s eyes widened and pupils retracted at the sight of the cactus in the draconequus’s grasp.

“Do you like it?” Discord asked genuinely. “You liked the lettuce so much, I thought this would be a fun replacement. See?” He held up the spiked plant to admire it. “It’s green, grows out of the ground, and you can even eat it, too! It’s just like a ball of lettuce, but it’s twice as fun to throw. Here, Catch!” Discord tossed the plant at Angel, to the bunny’s immense horror.

The rabbit jumped across the floor, desperately avoiding the incoming plant. Angel stopped moving only when he heard the dull thud of an impact. His head turned to see the potted plant stuck into the wood. He turned to Discord with a triumphant face. It was met with an amused grin from the draconequus.

“Oh dear, it appears that you dropped it. Not to worry, we just have to keep trying!” With a snap of his claw, several more cacti flashed into existence. Angel felt his ears droop until they were lying on the floor. His pupils were smaller than a fruit’s seed. “What is that saying again? Ponies are so used to it nowadays.” His paw digits drummed on the edge of his chin in thought. Angel, however, was too frozen with fear to move. With a snap of his claws, Discord’s smile returned brighter than ever.

“That’s it!” He raised his forelimbs to his chest, holding them hoof length apart from one another. “Practice makes perfect!”

He clapped his paw and claw.

It began to rain cacti in Fluttershy’s living room, following the zigzagging path of Angel.

The rabbit bobbed and weaved under and around the furniture, moving with the kind of agility that befitted his species. With every bounce and hop he made, a cactus plant landed on the floor, spikes anything but merciful to what they came in contact with. It was hard to move, however, when the same furniture he was using for cover was also literally dancing around the room. Angel didn’t have a real path to follow, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a destination in mind.

With a few powerful kicks of his hind legs, Angel pushed himself out from beneath a barking table, dodged two more falling cactuses, and flew right into the snake-like torso of Discord.

The draconequus caught him with a swipe of his claw.

“Why Angel, that was positively astounding!” The master of chaos smiled down at the rabbit, who was scowling up at him. “If you wanted a hug, all you had to do was say so.”

“Discord!”

The voice was doubtlessly supposed to be a shout. But to the draconequus it sounded more like soft wind. Regardless, his eyes turned and fell on a canary pegasus standing sternly at the doorway. Her one visible eye was furrowed, complete with a puckered lip. It was adorable.

“Fluttershy!” He spoke joyfully, dropping the rabbit from his grasp. Angel fell to the floor with a soft squeak. He glared up at the draconequus, which was returned by a malicious smile. The rabbit was quick to hop over to the pegasus, self assured she was safer than any other part of the room.

“Oh, Angel. Are you alright?” Fluttershy knelt down to the rabbit, gently looking him over. Angel, however, was furiously making motions towards Discord, his soft voice squeaking and mewling with every action he made. The draconequus was happy enough to lean back in the air as if on a hammock, watching the show with a crooked smile. The canary pegasus, however, listened to her pet intently.

“He did that?” She questioned, being met with a nod from the rabbit. It was followed close behind by the bunny pointing at the furniture in the room, now in the middle of a group dance session around the dog-like table. “Oh my, that is wrong.” Angel gripped Fluttershy’s mane to grab her attention. When her eyes fell back on him, the rabbit began to make grabbing motions along himself, still squeaking and whining in a voice too high and too soft for most others to hear. “Oh dear, that was awfully mean of Discord to do.”

“Mean? Wrong?” Discord spoke up. “I did no such things.” The draconequus twisted in mid air until his legs were on the floor. His paw went to his snake-like chest, claw held in the air. “I swear I did nothing to harm any creature. I was just having a bit of fun.” The rabbit looked at him with a furrowed brow and stuck up nose.

“Then, why is my furniture… not standing still?” The pegasus’s blue eyes looked towards the barking table and dancing chairs. The sight brought a grin to the draconequus’s lips.

“Well, I didn’t say I did nothing, I just did no harm. You can hardly get mad at me for sprucing up the place.” Discord waved his paw off at the disappointing look on Fluttershy’s face. His eyes averted from her gaze, already too sure that she would guilt him into changing them back. He liked the way the were now.

“Oh, okay,” Fluttershy spoke in agreement, which earned perked ears from the draconequus. “But, then why is there a… cactus over there.” Discord’s lips curled into an ‘O’. “And there… and there… oh, and even next to Angel bunny’s food. Oh dear, they’re everywhere.”

Raising his claw to the back of his head, he slapped himself, knocking one of his eyeballs free from his socket. He caught the round object, twisting it in his talons until it was looking downwards. Raising it over his head, he saw the potted cactus plant stuck into the wood, sitting still on its thorns. A twist of his wrist and saw the pegasus biting her lip, Angel continuing to glare angrily at him.

“Oops. My mistake.” Discord snapped his paw, creating a flash of light over the plant. It was gone in a second. The rest of the potted and dangerously spiky greens were gone with it. Twisting his eyeball until he was looking at the furniture, he snapped his fingers again. The table straightened itself and stilled, the chairs grew legs and fell to the floor, and, finally, the crystal ball uncurled once more into a chandelier. The room was back to normal.

“That’s better,” Fluttershy spoke appreciatively. She looked at the tall Spirit of Chaos with a soft smile. “Thank you for changing it back.”

“Yes, yes,” Discord easily dismissed, waving off the kind gaze of the pegasus with his paw. His claw rose back to his head, dropping the eyeball back in place. It spun twice, correcting itself. He blinked twice before looking down at Fluttershy. “Everything’s back to normal. Same, safe, and predictable normalcy.” The mad god shivered in distaste.

Fluttershy looked at Discord with concern, head twisting to her side and blinking twice. She felt a small ball in her chest. Years of working with animals had taught her to listen to her instincts, and right now they were telling her one of her friends was unhappy.

“Is something wrong?” She asked sincerely, trotting next to the taller being’s legs. “You don’t look well.”

“Appearances are deceiving things Fluttershy. Haven’t I taught you this?” His sneer at the pegasus was short lived. Her expression of hurt was too much for him. “But, I suppose if you really must know what is wrong, I can explain.”

Raising his paw, Discord snapped his fingers, momentarily blinding the pegasus with a flash of white. Disorientation swiftly followed.

The world returned to Fluttershy, the bright lights in her eyes blinking away. She felt the same, her legs moved the same, but she was sitting on something… different. It was softer than the ground, and rather comfortable, too. As her eyes adjusted, she saw a large red cushion underneath her, and a matching backrest behind her. But that wasn’t the only thing new.

Around her fur was a rather tight coat-- a jacket, as Rarity would call it. It was dyed red and extended from the fetlocks of her forelegs to her waist. Her forehoof rose to cover her lips in a gasp, but they connected with a thin piece of metal. Playing with it, Fluttershy felt the thin strands twisting around her head, sitting at the base of both of her ears. It took her a moment, but she realized she was wearing glasses, much like Twilight’s. They felt… weird.

Just to her right was a sofa she didn’t own. It reminded her of Rarity’s Emergency Cushion. Except, Rarity’s Emergency Cushion didn’t have a Master of Disharmony lying across it. He did have a paw over his forehead and a look of woe over his features.

“I just don’t know how it happened to me, me!” Discord whined into the air, throwing up his paw as he did so. “Here I am, a Master of Chaos, and I can’t even flex my muscles without causing a riot through the town. Not that a good riot isn’t fun to watch here and there.”

Fluttershy blinked at the draconequus, momentarily stunned at the sudden change of scenery. But living with a master of magic for so long had given the pegasus a unique sense of comfort when these kinds of things happened. And with a spirit like Discord, these kinds of situations happened a lot.

“Oh, um… so how does that make you… feel?” She may have known the game Discord was playing, but Fluttershy never was a pony that was quick to learn from others.

“Just terrible!” The draconequus wallowed once more, twisting his body over the plush sofa. “It’s just not in me to not be me. If I’m not me, then who am I? Why, I’d be no more fit to fly.” With a snap of his claws, a small parrot appeared in Discord’s paw, sitting on his palm. It took the pegasus a moment to realize that something was wrong with it. Namely, that it didn’t have any wings. It drew a sharp gasp from her.

“O-Oh dear. That is terrible,” Fluttershy honestly admitted. “That poor bird won’t know what to do.”

“And that’s my problem!” The pegasus watched on horrified as Discord crushed his great lion paw, bird still sitting on it. He opened it up a moment later to reveal an egg in its wake. It flashed out of existence, much like all of his magical acts. “If I can’t be the Master of Disharmony, then what am I?” Recovering from her shock of the disappearing bird, Fluttershy began to nod.

“So, you’re worried you’re not being, um, you enough?” She spoke the words with a curious tone, leaning towards the draconequus still sprawled over the expansive sofa. What she asked caused an explosion, literally.

Confetti, streamers, and a few stray feathers blew from Discord as he threw his arms and legs out to their fullest, expanding over the sofa like a balloon. His voice was just as loud and surprising.

YES!” He bellowed loudly enough to shake the furniture across the floor. “And I miss being me! Making it rain milk, being able to eat dirt, and least of all making each and everypony act like their polar opposite,” His mismatched eyes looked at the pegasus with a flash, and only a flash, of concern. “No offense of course.”

“I-It’s… alright,” Fluttershy waved off with a shaking hoof. The explosive voice, sight, and reminder of his past was almost too much for the pegasus’s timid heart. The only thing that kept her from falling to her floor was the reminder that Discord needed her. And just as Twilight had taught her, a friend in need was a friend indeed.

“So tell me doc, what am I supposed to do?” Discord asked sincerely as he could, floating back down the sofa beneath him.

Taking a small breath of air, shutting her eyes to focus, Fluttershy thought over what she had heard.

“Discord,” she spoke with all the authority she could muster. “You have to go help ponies.”

“Help… ponies?” The draconequus let the words slip from his crooked lips, testing what they meant. “As in, help them be more like me?”

“No,” the pegasus spoke with a shake of her head. “You have to help them like any pony helps another pony, out of the kindness of their heart.” The smile Fluttershy had was not reflected over Discord’s lips.

“And what makes you think that will help me?” The master of chaos twisted in the sofa, crossing his forelimbs as he glared at the pegasus with mismatched eyes. Even with the spectacles over her, Fluttershy’s eyes beamed with delight.

“Because helping ponies always makes me feel better, and… and if there is anything I’ve learned from my friends, it’s that every pony can help one another in some way.” The pegasus lightly jumped from her chair, trotting the short distance to Discord. She laid her hoof over his claw, still smiling up at the large creature. “I’m sure that once you start helping other ponies around Ponyville, you’ll feel much better about yourself.”

“Really?” The draconequus was not convinced. “Doesn’t helping others involve inconveniencing yourself? You know, kind of like what I’m already doing 23/7?”

“Isn’t it… 24/7?” The pegasus asked curiously. The coy smile that grew over Discord’s lips did not sit well with her.

“Nope! It’s 23/7!” He spoke with no amount of restrained joy. “I changed that yesterday. Thought taking an hour out of the day would be the perfect way to make them go by faster.”

“Discord...” She could have been stern. She could have whined. But instead, Fluttershy mewled like a hurt kitten in front of the draconequus. Her being his only friend, it hurt worse than anything the Elements of Harmony could have done to him.

“Oh fine.” He snapped his claws, flashing another brilliant white. But this time, Fluttershy saw nothing different. “There, the day is longer again. I hope you’re happy.”

“I am happy.” Fluttershy agreed, though she wasn’t done yet. “But I would be even happier if I knew you were happy too. Discord, you are my friend, and I hate to see you feeling bad.” One of Discord’s brows rose. “Feeling bad or being bad, they both make me feel bad. If you could spend today helping out ponies, I’m sure you’d find yourself enjoying it before you know it.”

“Really?” Discord spoke again. “Just today? A trial run? A test? A mockery of reality?” Fluttershy felt her shyness returning in force. Her hoof lowered from Discord’s claw, settling to the floor as her body curled into herself.

“I-I don’t know if those were all the same thing, but, oh, um, yes?” She must have said something right.

“Very well Fluttershy!” Discord announced as he rose from the sofa. With a solid kick, it sailed out from beneath him, hitting the far wall and shattering into a thousand bubbles. Fluttershy watched on in awe. Looking down, she saw her now exposed coat was damp, most likely with popped bubbles.

“I’ll go out today and give it my all. But,” His claw dangled in front of Fluttershy’s exposed eye. “Just for today, to see if I like it.” That brought a new smile to the pegasus’s face.

“Okay,” She nodded at the words. “I know you can do it.”

“And I know this will be fun.” Without another word or warning, Discord snapped his paw. Instantly, his monstrous form was gone from the room. It wasn’t hard to find where he went. Dangling in the air, just in front of Fluttershy’s vision, was a small red balloon. It was complete with a crooked smile and miss-sized eyes. “I’ll be back before you know it. Toodle-loo Fluttershy!”

The balloon sized and shaped draconequus floated through the room, drifting out the window and out of Fluttershy’s home. The pegasus was left smiling.

“I wonder what he’ll do first?”

“What to do? Where to go? How to help?” The red balloon that was Discord questioned itself as it floated through the air. His eyes looked down at the ponies far beneath him, watching them move and dance around the thatched roof buildings. The rubber of the balloon scrunched as he sneered at them.

“Making food, selling goods, smiling, laughing, and playing with one another. It’s like I’m reading a book.” His course veered slightly as a side wind pushed him through the air. His form squeaked as he ducked a cloud.

“If I were any self-respecting Spirit of Disharmony, I’d just get them to forget about their day and have a bit of fun.” His eyes turned towards a pony weaving through the stalls of the market, her blonde mane whipping back and forth as she doubtlessly analyzed each of their goods. Ideas began to pour into Discord’s head.

He could make her dance through the stands on her fore hooves. He could have her tear down the wood from the stalls and build a house with the roof on the ground. It would require just a snap of his talons to make her grab the nearest pony and profess a fake love. Every one of his ideas made him smile, stretching the material of the red balloon.

But every one also had another trait in common. Discord scoffed as he realized what it was.

“Fluttershy wouldn’t be too happy if I did that.” He blew a breath of air, deflating his form. His descent to the ground was slow. “Honestly, if I can’t even be myself while I’m helping other ponies, what’s even the point?” His form bounced on the dirt, lightly touching the ground as the wind guided his path. The ponies around him thought little of the red balloon.

“Oh the curse of being me!” He mockingly cried as his rubbery form scraped at the ground. More than one pony jumped in shock at the voice, wide-eyes searching for the source. Discord paid them no mind. Fear was fun, but it alone wasn’t chaos.

“What I need is a pony who knows what it’s like to be me. A pony with a mind full of jokes and enough laughter to kill a clown.” His form spun and stopped against a building’s walls, leaving him with the sight of the market still moving through the almost scripted movement. It was a painful sight for a God of Chaos to watch.

“Now who’s a pony who’s like that?” The rubber of his form squealed as his lips puckered in thought. The miss-sized eyes on the surface squinted in time. But try as he might, not a pony could come to mind.

Twilight may have been intelligent, but she was far too serious and bounded by rules to possibly help him. Rainbow Dash may have been a rule breaker and a prankster to boot, but she wouldn’t know the first thing about helping others. She did have a mean selfish streak, not that he was any draconequus to say otherwise. Rarity was definitely out of the question. That mare would rather see herself caked in mud than be seen… what would be a word she would use… associating with the Mad God. The princesses weren’t even an option to consider.

Now whom did that leave?

As if a gift from some merciful and pitiable force, a pony bounced past the balloon’s vision. Her eyes were shut, a tune being hummed through her curled lips, and a joyfully random nature was in her every act and all her being. She was a pony that Discord knew well, and even better, a pony that mostly likely appreciated Discord just as well. She did love chocolate milk.

His balloon form popped, his existence momentarily pushed aside as his body reformed in the same chaotic magic he loved to cast. Then, in the blink of an eye, and a flash of white, the multi-pieced Draconequus reappeared, forelimbs outstretched and a gleeful smile over his twisted lips.

“Pinkie Pie!”

The sudden shout of the pony’s name made the mare turn towards the voice. Her face beamed with joy at the figure she saw.

“Discord!”

The ponies around them turned tail and ran.

“So Fluttershy says you gotta start helping other ponies?” Pinkie Pie asked the Mad God across from her, both having sat down on a lunch stand. The pink pony had a green salad laid out in front of her, half eaten and pushed around the plate. Discord had been munching on the wood of the table for the past half hour or so, noticing the perfect amount of moisture and decay in the timber. It settled well in his gut.

“Precisely,” He answered Pinkie Pie, flicking his wrist as he said so. “She thinks it’s the perfect cure for my perpetual boredom. I’ll give the girl credit, I certainly didn’t think of it, but I can’t see how it would help me either. After all, you ponies have enough love and kindness floating about. Why would you need little old me waving my paw for you.”

As he said those last words, Discord waved his paw at a passing colt, a bag of goodies slung over his carriage. He stopped moving as he felt it moving along his back. Turning around he saw snakes curled around his body. The child shrieked in fright. Discord chuckled in amusement.

“Discord!” Pinkie’s voice reprimanded him, earning his semi-divided attention. Watching the colt squirm against the snakes were too much fun to completely ignore. “Now that’s not nice at all, and it isn’t helping anypony.”

“It’s helping me though,” Discord playfully argued, a wry smile across his lips. “I’m not bored anymore.” The smaller of his two eyes saw her lips pucker into a pout, eyes narrowing in an act that would have been dangerous if she wasn’t speaking to a master of deception. She was, however, the friend of a friend, and his friend wouldn’t appreciate him being mean to said friend. It was, oddly enough, a twisted circle he didn’t wish to test.

With a sigh, Discord snapped his talons. A flash of light shined over the colt, appearing and disappearing in an instant. When the light faded, the snakes were gone and the bag was back to normal. It didn’t stop the colt from viciously untying and throwing the pack away from him. He fell to the ground then, whimpering softly as he watched the bag with wide eyes.

“See, all better.” Discord spoke with a scoff, turning his head away from the now uninteresting scene. His eyes fell upon Pinkie Pie again, staring up at him with the same pouting lips. “What?”

“That’s not all better. Now you’ve given him a pouty face. He needs to have that frown turned upside down!” Her hooves were on the table, stretched her pink body over the wood towards the taller draconequus. Discord merely shrugged as he nibbled on a knot of wood. A bit tough, but flavored well.

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Discord waved his hand towards the still sniffling colt, wide eyes staring at his bag as if waiting for it to suddenly change again. “The kid got a scare, it’s no reason to get worked up. Besides, where’s the line I have to cross to qualify as “helping” a pony?”

“You gotta make sure that whatever you do, it helps the pony in some way!” Pinkie Pie jumped onto the table, sending her salad crashing to the ground. She stood on the tips of her hooves to look Discord squarely in his eyes. Even the Spirit of Disharmony would swear that he saw her eyes bugging out at him. It was such a funny image. There were, however, more important matters to attend to.

“I’m not sure I follow.” He spoke easily, stroking his goatee as he did so. “I did turn his pack back into a predictable and simple bag, not a piece of it odd or out of the ordinary in the slightest.” His body visibly shivered as he spoke. “It’s so plain it’s almost a pain to look at.” His chuckle was one shared alone. The pink pony just groaned with a roll of her head.

“Just watch me!” Without another word, the pink pony hopped away. Discord watched her from his seat, lips puckering in curiosity. He tore off another bit of the table, wrapping it in a fork before tossing into his mouth. Extra crunchy, with a small bite at the end.

The pink pony bounced next to the colt Discord had only moments ago terrified. He was currently curled into the ground, bravely fighting back his tears from the experience. When Pinkie Pie jumped in front of his vision, the colt let out a gasp of shock. Discord was already watching with amusement.

From the half-eaten table, Discord watched as she knelt down to the colt’s level. His wide eyes stared at the mare, who looked at him with a genuine bright smile. Her lips moved to say words Discord couldn’t hear. He raised his paw to his ear, hoping to pluck it from his head and throw it next to the pair, but before he could Pinkie Pie began to move again.

She jumped next to the colt’s bag, gripping it in her teeth before lightly tossing it in front of the pony. The small pony back pedaled slightly, but stopped when Pinkie jumped in front of it again. Without ceremony, she unzipped the bag, putting her head into it. Discord’s brow rose in curiosity.

Then Pinkie pulled out some unfilled balloons. Holding them up to the colt, she smiled brightly as she took a deep breath. With one great exhale, she completely filled the rubbery material. It grew into a long rod, floating lightly in the air. Then Pinkie’s hooves moved at an almost blinding speed, wrapping around the balloon and twisting it as she did so.

When she was done, it was the same shape as a pony. The colt smiled with a bit of satisfaction. But Pinkie wasn’t done yet.

“What’s next in your bag of tricks Ms. Pie?” Discord half-seriously asked, taking a small bite from the knife in front of him. The flavor was a bit flat, but it ended with a sharp tang.

Once Pinkie handed the colt his balloon, she proceeded to rapidly blow and tie the others. With every one she handed to the smaller pony, his smile grew larger and larger. It wasn’t long before he was completely surrounded by inflated balloons-- nearly enough to lift him off the ground. But with the wry smile on her lips, Discord could tell the mare wasn’t done yet. She wouldn’t be because he wouldn’t be, and Pinkie Pie was as close to Discord as any pony could ever hope to be. The mare reached into the colt’s bag again and pulled out an object the draconequus was pleasantly surprised to see.

A cake, baked and ready to go, complete with frosting and decorations, was produced. A cloud of confetti even exploded from the bag as she pulled it out. Discord’s smile grew a bit brighter at the display. It was so joyfully random and seemingly impossible to do, pulling such concessions out of another pony’s bag. He loved it.

Pinkie Pie produced a small knife from her side, cutting up the cake with just as impressive speed as she had displayed when tying the balloons. The colt’s jaw fell open, no doubt with disbelief, but that was his mistake. No sooner were his lips parted than did Pinkie Pie push a slice of the treat into his jaw. His mouth closed instantly.

Soon after a few chews of the cake, though, his lips grew upward in a smile. Pinkie Pie laughed as he did so. She then proceeded to throw the cake behind her, landing in some garbage can without incident. Discord would have much preferred it to land on some public figure. The classical kind of comedy-- and you just can’t beat the classics.

However, Pinkie Pie’s performance with the colt was joyful enough to earn and keep his attention. Speaking of which, it seemed to be coming to an end.

The pink pony was leaning close to the colt, putting a leg around his neck. She was whispering into his ear, occasionally breaking the dialogue with a giggle or two, which the smaller pony reciprocated. Then with a stretch of her leg, farther than the draconequus would have given her credit for, she grabbed the colt’s bag, slinging it over his back once more. He didn’t shy away or tremble at it anymore. Instead, he smiled gratefully to the older pony.

Then, without a wave of his hoof, the colt walked away again, a spring in his step given height by the balloons he carried. Bouncing as she always did, Pinkie Pie jumped over to Discord once more, taking her seat across from him.

The ponies around them watched, terrified, amazed, and skeptical all at once. For Pinkie, they had learned better than to question her habits. For Discord, they knew better than to test him. Lessons learned were like bridges burned. They were always fun to watch.

“See what I did?” The curly-maned pony asked. “Well, aside from the confetti, balloons, cheering, cake, frosting, bouncing, smiling, laughing, and talking?”

“Aside from all that, nope. Not at all.” Discord crossed his mismatched forelimbs, puckering his lips. Pinkie Pie put on a big smile before she gave the answer to the draconequus.

“I made them smile silly!” She giggled at her answer, eyes shutting as she did so. For the not the first time, Discord wondered if she was compelled to laugh by some spell. He was not the first to have such thoughts.

“Make them smile? Even I knew that’s what supposed to happen when you help somepony. It’s how I’ve helped myself for years!” Discord extended his forelimbs as he spoke. It wasn’t met with agreement from his pink friend.

“No no no!” Pinkie Pie argued back, shaking her mane like a wet dog. “You aren’t supposed to make just you smile, that comes later. If you help out another pony in a way that no other pony can, then you’ll make them smile!” Without any warning, the pink pony jumped into the air. Her body crashed into Discord’s without ceremony. The draconequus was forced to catch her, large red eyes staring down into her full blue ones. They stared back at him. She was smiling all the while.

“And when you make another pony smile doing what you like to do, then you’ll make yourself smile!”

Something inside Discord clicked.

“Help another pony like no other can?” The thought was more than just new to the draconequus, it was wonderful. It brought a smile to crooked lips, a spark to his mismatched eyes, and chuckle from the back of his throat. “Doing what no other pony can do is what I do best!”

“Hooray!” Pinkie Pie cheered as she jumped from Discord’s paw and claw, performing a deft flip before landing back on the ground. “That means you’re already one hoof closer to helping other ponies! Soon you’ll be able to help ponies across all of Equestria with your awesome magic because you can use magic like no other pony can because you’re not a pony, you’re a draconequus, or at least that’s what Twilight says you are, but I’ve never heard you call yourself one which is weird because I call myself a pony all the time, even when I’m by myself, but maybe that’s because draconequus is a weird word to say so instead of saying draconequus you just say-”

A zipper appeared over Pinkie Pie’s lips.

“I’m sorry about that Pinkie, but you really must learn how to be brief.” Discord wagged a finger in front of the pony, who worked her hooves furiously at the zipper strap. “After all, if you spend the entire day talking, there won’t be anytime to help out other ponies. Speaking of which, I better get started.” With a snap of his fingers, the zipper across Pinkie’s mouth vanished. The pony took in a large gasp of air as he did so. It was soon followed by a giggle.

“That’s the same thing Twilight did to me before!” She seemed oddly happy about having her ability to speech being taken away from her. Then again, the only memory the Spirit of Chaos had of the pink pony being unhappy was when he had made her that way. Such a bittersweet thought. “Well, I have to go now though.”

“Really?” Discord asked. “Where are you off to then? Throw another party for another friend?”

“No silly, “ Pinkie Pie answered grinning. “I’m off to Las Pegasus, so I can learn new ways to throw parties! If I do the same thing too many times it gets boring! And no pony likes a boring party. Blegh!” The pink pony finished her thought with stuck out tongue and grimace over her features. It made the draconequus smile with delight.

“If only your friends took after you the same way.” Discord wiped a crocodile tear from his eye. He flung it to the ground, where it promptly popped like a balloon, confetti included. “You sure know how to make an old spirit cry.”

“Happy tears, riiiiiight?” Pinkie Pie stretched to her highest height, eyes squinting up at Discord’s mismatched red irises. He held up his forelimbs in surrender.

“But of course, my dear. Why would I ever think ill of new things?” A dark chuckle rolled from his lips. “The newer something is, the better it is!” Pinkie Pie leaned back from him smiling wide enough to force her eyes shut.

“Okey Dokey Lokey! Just making sure.” Without another word, the pony turned tail from the draconequus, bouncing down the dirt path until she was out of sight. Discord chuckled all the while.

His claw drew through his goatee, mind spinning and weaving ideas. The possibilities of what he could do were endless, the things he could make happen boundless. The only restriction had was the one he always ignored. Having to make ponies other than himself smile.

The good news? He had to do it in a way that no other pony could. That made a fiber in his old heart leap with joy. Literally. His heart leaped up and down behind his vision, celebrating the ideas that were forming in his mind.

A content sigh left his lips. He bent his head left, cracking it. Raising his paw, he pulled it further down, spinning his head around his neck until it moved in a complete circle. Discord felt good.

The day was young, his mind fresh, and all of Ponyville open to him.

“Time to get started.”

Back in her home, caring for a stray robin that had floated through her window, Fluttershy felt a shiver run up her back.

“Oh dear, I really should close the window. That breeze is chilly.”