The Hacker Pwny

by Chetzi

Chapter 6: For science!

August 3, 2012--Mid Afternoon

The cloud Derpy was bouncing on had lightning bolts striking out from under it every time Derpy bounced on the cloud. After a few bolts, she had hit me... not my hair, but... well... let’s just say I might have erectile dysfunction for a few days. Eh, I still had my hair. While I was spaztasicly shaking my dick trying to see if it was alive and hopefully getting the electricity out, Derpy managed to hit the power source dead on and the light indicator bar lit up to a bright green. I stopped flailing around my dick to see that the battery was fully charged and Derpy fell back down to the ground greeting me with the same, smile as always. She spoke up saying,

“I got it!”

“Thanks, Derpy. I needed your help.” I walked away from the oddly eyed Pegasus and stumbled into Twilight’s house. I trotted up to my room while still feeling the static electricity in my balls and slumped down at my desk eager with anticipation. My hoof reached for the plug to the computer and I connected it with the battery. My computer whirred to life with the soft hum of the fans and a slow pulsing blue glow coming out of it. My monitor turned on and it displayed an old style terminal with the light green ‘>’ flashing indicating that it worked and was waiting for commands. That familiar green character brought a smile to my face. Now to just get all of Equestria’s best minds and make a matter converter and satellite. I had the blueprints of a satellite in my head, but the matter converter would be challenging. I had basic ideas with transporting things atom by atom at speeds exceeding light, the closest thing I could get to true teleportation. But that’s not the only problem. I need it to also change my molecular structure so I’m human. My kind of challenge, this will be fun. Let’s see, who’s first? Dr. Whooves could be useful. I might need Twilight’s magic. Rainbow Dash could help me with tuning the speed at which the atoms could travel. Pinkie pie breaks the laws of physics a lot, which is what I’m almost trying to do, so I might need her. Rarity can make things that are really accurate so I could use her. There is a possibility of some kind of wall that I need pure strength to hold back or take down, so I should probably bring Big Macintosh. The ponies will have to know about their jobs, so Cheerilee could prove useful. No, way too many. There should be some kind of string of top scientist ponies that Celestia has made to make all the inventions. I’m going to have Twilight teleport me to the castle. I wonder if Twilight is here. Didn’t see her downstairs. I called out to anyone that might be home,

“Is anypony home?!” The only voice that spoke up had to be Spike.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Where’s Twilight?”

“She’s at Canterlot for some royal tea party.” Uh oh, Trollestia moment coming. Just then I heard a soft kind of ZAP that reminded me of teleportation spells. Twilight said,

“Back!” Spike greeted her with,

“That was quick.”

“Celestia had royal business to attend to so there wasn’t a tea party.” Of course. I said,

“Twilight, can you teleport me to Celestia?”

“She said she was busy and-”

“This means more than any business she could have.”

“Right, but still, you made her mad last time, so can it wait until later?” It could, but I don’t care about what ever she is doing.

“No.”

“OK, fine, I’ll send you.” Twilight must be on bottom in bed because she is extremely passive and just can’t say no. Her horn glowed and the warm feeling quickly passed over. As expected, I stood in the castle. Celestia looked slightly surprised at my sudden appearance and she was sitting at her throne writing something.

“Neon, how unexpected. Do you need anything? I’m slightly busy.”

“Yes, where are Equestria’s best scientists?”

“They’re having a meeting at town hall in Canterlot.” How convenient. No really, I kind of expected some epic quest of traveling through every city and going on stealth missions in hidden cities made by evil cults that were planning on burning a scientist because.... Uh... Where was I going with this? Oh well, no quest, let's go.

“Which building?”

“Town hall.” I raced out of the castle looking for town hall. Shouldn’t be too hard to find. I started to break out into song with,

"I need to just need to follow the-" NO! I will not sing! Not breaking into song is harder then it looks and for some odd reason, I already knew all of the song. Hey, why didn't I get a song from Pinkie Pie? Oh well, I don't like singing anyway. After following the somewhat convenient signs, I trotted over to the town hall's shiny, marble plated, jewel-encrusted, fancy wood doors. ‘Sigh’, purely cosmetic things. I always did hate things that were only there for looks and had no to little functional value. I walked through the doors and glanced around inside. Where the fuck does the town get this kind of money? Once I was inside, I saw a bunch of old ponies that were covered in lab coats and had glasses on. They were all sitting at a round table talking about something. I walked over to them and said,

“Hello all, I need your help.” One of them, a brown one, turned to me and said,

“We’re busy at the moment.”

“With?”

“Forming insecticides to ward off those pesky parasprites.”

“OK, that’s great. I don’t care, This is more important.”

“What is?” He fell right into my trap. Curiosity, is this place’s weakness. I rolled out blueprints of a small box, a improved communications array that didn’t need to be launched, and a half finished matter transporter and converter.

“I just need you ponies to build this box and help me with designing this MTSC.”

“MTSC?”

“Matter Transporter Slash Converter.”

“Hmm, this is far too advanced for us. We can’t make it.”

“You can’t, but I can. I just need to break it down into smaller pieces so that you can make it. Then we put it together and use a bit of magic.” The ponies looked skeptical. They quietly conversed and nodded in unison.

“OK, we will attempt to make this.” Yes!

“Then let’s start...” I used a few hours and told them all what each piece did and we brainstormed over how to make the MTSC. I never told them what I would use the MTSC for, but I did tell them what it could do. We finished the blueprints for the MTSC within about four hours and it seemed solid. A bit buggy, but it should be able to transport atoms at speeds faster than light and at the same time edit my molecular structure to turn me human. There was one thing about it that I didn’t like, The chance of getting lost somewhere in the transporter is about 9/10 at current designs, but I plan to make it safer. Now, to build the Internet relay receiver, or what I like to call, the IRR. I left the building and headed home, I can make this newly designed IRR by myself. That, and I don’t think Equestria would be a good place for the Internet so I don’t want anyone else to build this and spread it. Celestria would be such a troll. After about a mile out from Canterlot, I thought, why didn’t I just ask for a teleport? Eh, I don’t feel like going back. Just keep waking I guess. It was a rather lonely walk back without Vinyl. That reminds me, where is Vinyl? I’m going to miss her and I should say goodbye before I go. Saying goodbye... that is one of the hardest things I can do. Or maybe I should just leave. No, then they will worry about me. I had that sad feeling in my chest as I slowly walked back to Ponyville thinking about all the memories I've had here, all the people I've met, everything that I loved so much about this place. It will be so hard to let go of it all. I found my way back into Ponyville and it looked normal with the sun half way over the horizon indicating that it was about 7 pm or so. I was tired so the only thing I needed to do right now was get some sleep, but I wanted to see Vinyl first. Maybe for the last time. I headed over to her house which I could see her testing some of her music equipment for a party. I wondered who the party was for, but I really didn’t care, so I decided not to ask Vinyl. I opened the door and walked inside to see Vinyl smiling at me. She was the first to speak,

“Hey dude. I’m messing around a bit with my DJ stand to prepare for a gig tonight. You’re invited.”

“Nah, I’m good. I’m kinda tired anyway. Sleep is probably the best thing right now.”

“Come on, don’t be a party-pooper.”

“Don’t try to change me.” I smirked and said in a playful manner.

“Heh. Well, OK. I guess I’ll see ya later then. Bye.” I waved good-bye and walked out, heading for Twilight’s. It was a short walk and I quickly found myself in my bed and dozed off, hoping for the morning sun to come soon.

Comments

[BlackTextDude]

Looks awesome, tracking and thumbing.

[IraqLobstah]

Troubled pasts or depression.

:Human fics:

Cheers
~iraqlobstah

[Chetzi]

280752

Thank you for giving creative criticism. OK, I'll do better with commas and the pacing is suppose to be quick.

[Chetzi]

282808
Eh.. sorry 'bout that. Has to do with my Texan accent. I'll fix those and not make the same mistake. Thanks for reading!