The Hacker Pwny

by Chetzi

Chapter 4: So close yet so far

A/N: I hope you guys are keeping up with the dates. If you'll notice, It's been a week since the last chapter. This will be the last time I'm reminding you about dates. If the story doesn't make sense at times, check the date. I made it so it's easy to infer what has happened in those days.

August 2, 2012 Mid morning

While dreaming about the dates I've been on with Vinyl throughout the week, I groggily opened my eyes with the first thing I felt being hard sanded wood. As I closed my mouth, I noticed that there was a trail of saliva dripping from my mouth. I swiped it off and took note of my surroundings. I was at my desk building my almost-a-computer. I got a lot done with me having finished the CPU, motherboard, video card, and RAM. I was so close, I could just taste the binary. But finishing it would be another day.
Looking out the window, I saw the sun rising up over the horizon and found birds flying over the sun, high in the sky, singing their happy songs. I got up from my chair and leaned out of the window then yelled,

"STFU, BIRDS!" They quickly disappeared from the sky and their happy song ended. I crawled over to the plain bed and threw myself on it. My eyes quickly closed and I found myself asleep in seconds with a smile on my face knowing that I would be able to program again really soon and I had Vinyl Scratch in my life. I dreamed of bacon n' eggs and a fresh cup of orange juice, I really did miss American food. What was that noise? Sounded like whistling from something going really fast.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOAH! SOMEONE CATCH ME!"

*CRASH*

I tensed up and covered my ears as I heard the loud crashing sound. Some kind of small debris and dust covered my face as I laid up looking at the mess around me. The first thing I noticed was there was some kind of rainbow colored dust in the air. The dust cleared out after a few seconds and I saw Rainbow Dash half stuck in my bedroom floor. Her head was under the floor with the rest of her laying on the floor. She coughed and pulled her head out while she said,

"Hey Blaze... fancy meeting you here..."

"Thanks for waking me up. Also do you mind me asking why you're in my floor?"

"Funny story. See I was practicing my flying skills when-" Cutting her off, I said,

"I don't want to know any more. Just leave, I'm trying to sleep." I grumbled.

"No! You gotta hear this! It's epic!" I laid back down and turned away from her while I covered my ears with a pillow. Using advanced social engineering and event math, I calculated how long it would take Rainbow Dash to finish her story. 5 minutes 23 seconds and 4 milliseconds.

*2 minutes later*

Rainbow Dash moved her hoofs around imitating flying maneuvers while saying,

"And then I did a barrel roll while carrying..."

*Another 2 minutes later*

Rainbow Dash was now flying in my room showing me how flying with wings at a certain angle changes trajectory and she said,

"Then if you close your eyes while counterbalancing..."

*1 minute 23 seconds and 4 milliseconds later*

"And that's what happened." Right on the mark as always. Damn, I'm good.

"Cool story, bro. Now can you leave? I'm not ready to get up just yet." Then Twilight walked into my room with messed up hair and as soon as she saw the giant rainbow colored mess in front of her, she went wide eyed and became angry while saying,

"RAINBOW DASH! MY HOUSE! WHY!" OK, I give up. I got up from my bed and just walked out of the room. My stomach growled so I headed to the kitchen while in the background I could hear a very nervous Rainbow Dash explaining how she did that. What is it with people, I mean 'ponies' here? I just can't be left alone. I looked through Twilight's cabinets looking for food. I found some bread... yeah that's about all... I gulped down the bread and walked out of the house. I was planning on not being around while Twilight chastises Rainbow Dash. Using the smiler logic as before, I determined Twilight and Rainbow Dash would finish at exactly... 10 minutes 24 seconds and 42 milliseconds.

Now to kill some time, I should probably go check with Princess Celestia to see until how much longer until I could return to Earth. She said that she couldn't send me back yet in a really strange way like we were in some bad My Little Pony fan-fiction and the author couldn't think of a decent plot. How far away was Canterlot? And what direction was it in? This was going to be harder than I thought. I wonder if there was some bus or tram that could get me there. Oh wait, no cars. Oh yeah! Twilight could teleport to Canterlot! But she was busy. Then I guess I'm stuck here for another 9 minutes 42 seconds and 29 milliseconds.

With nothing better to do, I walked over to Rarity's place. The least I could do is give her the chance to design clothes for I walked over to Rarity's store, I took note on all the foals running around and basking in the warm morning sun. It was way to fucking happy for me, I almost threw up. But too late for that, I stood in front of the carousel thingy when I knocked on the front door. Rarity appeared some how looking neat and dressed up for a special event. How the fuck did she do that? Does she get up at 4 A.M. and start doing her hair? I had bed hair and she looked like she was the bride in a wedding. You know what? Screw physics! I'm done trying to make sense of this. Rarity spoke up,

"Hello Blaze and welcome to the Carousel Boutique. Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, I needed some casual clothes, nothing too fancy or expensive." Her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. Or like a 14 year old guy who just got asked for sex by Megan Fox. They're about the same.

"Yes! Finally! Come in, come in! We have quite some work to do!" Doing what she said, I followed her in the fancy building. The walls were shiny and made of white marble while the floor was covered in fancy rugs and there were racks of colorful clothes and sheets of cloth hanging from them. There were also mirrors with those annoying bright bulbs outlining them. She motioned for me to get on some pedestal which, I did. She then walked over the rack of cloths and picked a few out. She kept designing and messing around with the cloths until she found the color that would be match me quite well.

"This is perfect!" Rarity exclaimed as she walked over to me with the sheets of cloth in her hoof. There were rainbow colors in her hoof and they looked really girly. I really hoped I still had my dick after this. She started throwing the cloths over me and I could hear cutting sounds. After about 30 or so minutes, she finished and I could see my new clothes in the mirror. My pants were a simple dark blue fabric that felt like jeans and my shirt was made of cotton and had an orange and red splash of color on them. It contrasted quite nicely on my bright colors.

"Thanks Rarity! These look awesome!"

"It was no problem, I assure you, dear." After admiring my new clothes for a bit more, I stepped down from the pedestal and walked out. I bet Vinyl would love to see these new clothes, so I walked over to her house. It wasn't hard to find it, I just followed the loud, ground shaking, music beat. She must have been having a party... or that could always be her alarm clock. I strolled up to her shiny, color emitting house and could tell that there was no party because the dance floor was empty. I opened the door and thought, why aren't any doors locked? Doesn't anything ever get stolen? Anyway, after I walked in, I couldn't see Vinyl anywhere. I checked upstairs getting closer and closer to the beat and the ground was shaking more and more.

Barely able to stand up because of the ground shaking from the beat, I found Vinyl sleeping on her bed with her head hanging off it. She looked cute like that with her tongue sticking out and her hair being upside down with her eyes closed. How could she sleep through this sound? I glanced over to her alarm clock and hit snooze so I could see straight again. I was judging whether or not to wake her. On one hoof, I was bored and I'm sure Vinyl wouldn't mind seeing me again. On the other hoof, she was probably partying late as usual. It was about 2 P.M. and most late sleepers and late party people wake up in about... 3... 2... 1... and there's Vinyl yawning as predicated.

"Wakey wakey, party head." My way of saying good morning to Vinyl. She rubbed the sleep sand out of her eyes and smiled softly.

"Hey, nice seeing you as my first sight today." She chuckled. If I did this on earth, I would have been arrested, girlfriend or not. She pulled herself up on the bed while turning to me and stood up off of her bed. Her hair was even more messed up than mine. It was like if you got boiled spaghetti then threw that in wet cement than put the cement into a tornado. I never thought I would ever say something like that...

"I'm pretty much free for the whole day. So what should we do then?" Sex... damn you, dirty mind of mine! Although, I would fuck Vinyl if she was human, I mean have you seen her humanized in art? She's fucking hot! "Hello? You still there?" Vinyl said as she walked toward me. Damn, I'm glad she can't read my thoughts.

"Yeah, just thinking a bit about what we should do." Think! What was good on earth and would be awesome here! "Let's smoke weed like Snoop Dawg, maaan." DID I JUST LOSE MY MIND! WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT! AND WHY DO I THINK IN CAPS WHEN I DO SOMETHING STUPID!

"What?"

"Nothing! Uhh, I mean, Uhh..."

"I don't know about you but, I would love to see that cool light show in Manehatten." Why do I get the feeling that I'm not the guy in this relationship? I haven't been able to pick where to go on our dates because I didn't really know anything about this Equestria yet. What? The week I've been here I've been either going out with Vinyl or working on my computer. Don't blame me for that.

"That's cool. Light shows are always fun and I have been wanting to visit Manehatten some time."

"Also, you got some rock'en clothes on. They look like they were made by a pro."

"They were, Rarity made them and I must say, they do look pretty awesome." Plus I got pockets! I've been missing pockets! "Do you ever wear clothes? I asked Vinyl.

"Not really. I don't go to fancy parties and all I have ever worn was neon glow sticks and rings."

"It's already about 2:30 and really I want to see all of Manehatten."

"Ok than, we can get lunch and dinner while we are there. I know some pretty cool places at the top of skyscrapers."

"Awesome, but shouldn't you comb you hair first?"

"My hair goes back to normal in an hour or so. So combing it isn't worth the trouble. And I don't wear any make up or anything else so we can leave right now."

"Let's go then." Vinyl with me following walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs then out the door."Hey wait, Can't we just teleport there?" I asked Vinyl.

"I'm not that great at magic, I can't teleport. We should ask Twilight." I haven't really been learning anything because I only needed the levitation spell and magic would be gone once I got back to earth.

"Sure, I know the way. Would ya kindly follow me?" Bioshock reference FTW.

"Sure, lead the way." Now for the dangerous half mile to Twilight's house. It's filled with... Ponies? Why can't I make this dramatic? This would have been so cool on earth. Anyway, I walked toward Twilight's house with Vinyl close behind. I would have held her hoof but I don't think that's even possible. We talked about Manehatten with Vinyl telling me funny stories that happened when she was there. We were both laughing when we reached the door to Twilight's house. I opened the door and walked in.

"Twilight! Are you here?" I yelled up the stairs. Twilight replied with,

"Yeah Spike and I are fixing Rainbow Dash's mess." I turned to Vinyl and said,

"We should probably help them."

"Going to Manehatten with me or patching up a house? Pick your choice. "

"OK OK you win!" I walked up the stairs and strolled into my room. I greeted twilight with, "Hey Twilight, can you teleport us to Manehatten?" She turned around while levitating a broom and dustpan and said,

"Oh, Vinyls here, hey Vinyl. Yeah sure I can." Then Twilight's horn glowed even more then it did and I was trapped by the familiar purple light I have come to expect with Twilight. When I opened my eyes again, I was standing in some modern looking building. A hotel if I had to guess.

"Vinyl, do you know where we are? Vinyl?" I turned around and found nothing. No Vinyl. I started to panic and ran out of the building and looked around for signs of her. I couldn't find her any where.

"Vinyl? Vinyl! VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINYL!" She was no where to be found. My heart sank as I realized she was gone.

Comments

[Kinky Pie]

Nice cliffhanger.